Funny story: One-Ton Satellite Set To Crash On Secret Al Shabab-Kebab Safehouse

One-Ton Satellite Set To Crash On Secret Al Shabab-Kebab Safehouse

London, UK - Pals of Brit fugitive from justice the Gobshite Widow holed up at a secret terror safehouse at 25 Acacia Avenue, Barking, Isle of Dogs are having none of it of course. This evening's televised predictions about the GOCE (Gravity Field...
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Funny story: Google's new barge to be deployed in clean-up of Japanese tsunami trash

Google's new barge to be deployed in clean-up of Japanese tsunami trash

San Francisco - "Yep, it's a giant Japanese tsunami crap sucker alright," was the latest comment from a San Francisco techie today tweeting about the construction of a massive floating edifice outside Google's San Francisco HQ. The barge is believ...
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Funny story: Top Twelve Audit Signs?

Top Twelve Audit Signs?

With the country so far in debt, the White House has ordered twice as many audits this year than normal. Listed below are some signs that might make them include you in their audits: 1. Your last name is Madoff. 2. You still include all those cats as dependents. 3. Placing an SWAK on the envelope flap. 4. You list all your losses at the Casino as business expenses. (I was trying...
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Funny story: Obama Under Pressure

Obama Under Pressure

Barack Obama, United States president, revealed today to sources close to him, that he is under a great deal of pressure from Walmart, to combine New Years Day and Christmas, this year, to make up for the lost shopping days. "Mike Duke, Walmart C...
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Funny story: Carey reveals what happened

Carey reveals what happened

Drew Carey, in a "post production" meeting today, with the staff of "The Price is Right," revealed that he and Harry Thornton, prize coordinator, had, at the Watering Hole, a bar on East Palm Drive, in Beverley Hills, conspired to "get even" with a...
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Funny story: First Obamacare Patient Dies

First Obamacare Patient Dies

Philadelphia, PA-- The nation's first death due to Obamacare has occurred in the City of Brotherly Love. Medical sources say Miss Vicky Smegma died last night from an ingrown toenail after a surreal and horrific experience with her new medical insu...
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Funny story: A Fishy Floundering Around is HealthCare.gov's Culprit

A Fishy Floundering Around is HealthCare.gov's Culprit

WASHINGTON D.C. - The Chief Technology Officer for the White House, Todd Park, is so busy fixing the Obamacare website that he can't testify in front of a U.S. House of Representatives oversight committee. Park may be slapped with a subpoena if...
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Funny story: When it comes to affairs, I'm proud of my track record

When it comes to affairs, I'm proud of my track record

Whenever I read in the news about some politician or celebrity having an affair, it makes me think of my own marriage and the sacredness with which I hold my vow of fidelity to my wife. Even after 20 years of marriage, I can look in the mirror and be proud of the fact I've never had an affair with another woman. I guess you could call me a poster boy of constancy. Of course, I would be lying...
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Funny story: How They Work: Speed Cameras

How They Work: Speed Cameras

We have all got used to seeing those speed camera boxes at the side of the road, but until a speeding fine arrives in the post, does anyone wonder "How They Work"? I asked a policeman, and he said he was not completely sure but thought this was how they worked. Because there is no way of actually knowing how fast the cars are going until they have gone past, a clever probability system is used...
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Funny story: 47th Annual Country Music Awards A Huge Success: And Not One Artist Was Bleeped

47th Annual Country Music Awards A Huge Success: And Not One Artist Was Bleeped

NASHVILLE - Carrie "Legs" Underwood and Brad "Shorty" Paisley did another bang up job as hosts of The 47th Annual CMA Awards. Every country artist and band showed up except for Kenny Chesney who reportedly could not find a clean T-shirt to wear.
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Funny story: Ndamukong Suh of The Detroit Lions Furious That He Has Lost His Dirtiest Player In The NFL Title To Richie Incognito of The Miami Dolphins

Ndamukong Suh of The Detroit Lions Furious That He Has Lost His Dirtiest Player In The NFL Title To Richie Incognito of The Miami Dolphins

DETROIT - For the past few years Ndamukong Suh has actually prided himself in being the dirtiest player in the NFL. The Detroit Lions defensive tackle is alleged to have scratched, stomped, and even bitten opposing players. Suh was fined $100,0...
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Funny story: James Brolin Wants To End His 15-Year Marriage To Barbra Streisand

James Brolin Wants To End His 15-Year Marriage To Barbra Streisand

MALIBU BEACH - Actor James Brolin, 73, has said that he feels that the time has come to put an end to his marriage. The actor who has starred in such films as The Amityville Horror, Rambo, and The Amityville Horror 2: The Damn Whores Arrive, simpl...
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Funny story: A Grandmother In Arkansas Is Arrested For Baking Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men

A Grandmother In Arkansas Is Arrested For Baking Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Claire "Cookie" Starkdiffy, 79, told the local authorities that she had no idea that what she did was against the law. Mrs. Starkdiffy, who was divorced in 2010 by her husband Wardley Starkdiffy after 51 years of marriage,...
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Funny story: Marie Osmond Explains Her Rack Reduction

Marie Osmond Explains Her Rack Reduction

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Marie Osmond was relaxing on the pristine beach down at Cabo San Lucas in a skimpy bikini bathing suit when some of the locals mistook her for Sofia Vergara. Marie, who is 54-years-old, was very flattered as she spoke to P...
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Funny story: President Vladimir Putin Says That Thanks To Edward Snowden He Has Learned More About The United States Than He Could Ever Have Imagined

President Vladimir Putin Says That Thanks To Edward Snowden He Has Learned More About The United States Than He Could Ever Have Imagined

MOSCOW - Russian President Vladimir Putin recently told the Russian News Agency, Vodkavich, that granting NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden asylum is the greatest Russian accomplishment in over 60 years. President Putin added that the best politica...
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Funny story: Ellen DeGeneres Shocked At Wife Portia De Rossi's Confession

Ellen DeGeneres Shocked At Wife Portia De Rossi's Confession

BEVERLY HILLS - One of the most popular lesbianite couples in Tinsel Town could be heading down Divorce Drive. According to Voodoo Dupree with Glamboyant Magazine there appears to be some marital trouble brewing in the five year marriage between E...
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Funny story: Lindsey Vonn Is Very Upset With Her Boyfriend Tiger Woods

Lindsey Vonn Is Very Upset With Her Boyfriend Tiger Woods

CHICAGO - Olympic Alpine skier Lindsey Vonn was in the Windy City visiting one of her high school teachers when she was approached by a sports reporter. Dottie Bazooka with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily asked the good-looking blonde about her rel...
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Funny story: Due To Carrie Underwood Showcasing Her Stunning Legs On The CMA Award Show She Has Just Been Signed To Do A L'eggs Pantyhose Commercial

Due To Carrie Underwood Showcasing Her Stunning Legs On The CMA Award Show She Has Just Been Signed To Do A L'eggs Pantyhose Commercial

NASHVILLE - The little gal from Oklahoma strutted her legs on the 47th Annual CMA Award Show and it has certainly paid off. Co-Host Brad Paisley said that he encouraged Carrie to show off her legs seeing as how they are astoundingly gorgeous. C...
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Funny story: Rodger Franks, The Cross-Dressing Crossing Guard

Rodger Franks, The Cross-Dressing Crossing Guard

Victoria Springs,ID- Rodger Franks, the cross-dressing crossing guard beloved by generations of Victoria Springs Idaho school children was found dead in his undergarments just hours after he failed to show up for his afternoon shift in front of Victo...
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Funny story: Salesmen Find Value in 'Good Cop, Bad Cop'

Salesmen Find Value in 'Good Cop, Bad Cop'

Coco Deet, 26, a salesman at the new clothing store, Shoppers Unite, recently discovered how effective the technique, "Good Cop, Bad Cop," can be when applied to potential shoppers. "Since the economy has been so bad, our store has really suffered...
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