Funny story: The Federal Government, Now Hiring New Employees, Changes Its Name To Lazy Heifer Couch Potato Productions To Earn Street Cred Among the American People

The Federal Government, Now Hiring New Employees, Changes Its Name To Lazy Heifer Couch Potato Productions To Earn Street Cred Among the American People

With sequester in the loom, the federal government is under pressure to change its image among the American people, beginning with an urban-inspired name change and employee overhaul. Lazy Heifer Couch Potato Productions, formerly the federal government and ironically bearing great similarities to its new namesake, is opening departmental branches across the U.S., and is aggressively seeking e...
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Funny story: Rocket Ronnie Not Recovered From His Extended Rest

Rocket Ronnie Not Recovered From His Extended Rest

Ronnie O'Sullivan, the lovable cockney pocket filler, is back on the professional snooker tour. But his actions during a recent practice session demonstrated that the troubled player's return to health is very much a long shot. Ronnie re-joined th...
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Funny story: Banksy Art Removal Sparks Black Market For 'Wall Art'

Banksy Art Removal Sparks Black Market For 'Wall Art'

Following the recent mysterious removal and attempted sale of Banksy's street art, a new black market has quickly emerged for the wall plaster behind other valuable artwork. Earlier this week, a London art gallery was broken into and the plaster b...
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Funny story: Cameron Gets A Shock

Cameron Gets A Shock

An internal report to David Cameron from a Conservative Think Tank, Money Talks has come as a great shock to the PM. The contents of this report have been leaked to your fearless reporter by 'a well wisher' and we can bring you this exclusive info...
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Funny story: 'Jobseeker methane' used to preserve packets of value ham

'Jobseeker methane' used to preserve packets of value ham

It has come to light that the manufacturers of low-cost packets of ham have been using human-derived methane as a means of preserving the meat for longer periods. Unpaid staff who were recruited through the government's back-to-work scheme were force...
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Funny story: Vatican promotes Silly Hat Contest

Vatican promotes Silly Hat Contest

Special to TPN - Vatican Secretary of State, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, announced that the Convocation of Cardinals assembled to pick a new Pope will liven up the proceedings with a Silly-Hat Contest, which has not been conducted for 1200 years.
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Funny story: Wes Welker Plays the Price is Right

Wes Welker Plays the Price is Right

Sequestration seems to be a fancy way of talking about an NFL franchise tag. With official government sources running about like the proverbial headless chicken, New England Patriots seem overwhelmed by the high price of tagging. For the first tim...
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Funny story: White House scolds Dennis Rodman over NKorea, then Invites Rodman to White House

White House scolds Dennis Rodman over NKorea, then Invites Rodman to White House

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The White House says North Korea's government should be focused on the well-being of its citizens, not on "celebrity sporting events" to entertain the country's elite. White House spokesman Jay Carney made the comments in respon...
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Funny story: Terror Professor Fired for Yelling at Students' Mistakes in Class

Terror Professor Fired for Yelling at Students' Mistakes in Class

ILIGAN, PHILIPPINES (Acme World News) -- Kirai Moltres, a terror professor, was fired for yelling at his students' mistakes in class last February 14, 2013. The said professor allegedly yelled at a student named Audino Flareon Clamperl for giving...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Is Now A Bluenette

Miley Cyrus Is Now A Bluenette

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Last year Katy Perry decided to go blue as she dyed her hair royal blue and now another singer, Miley Cyrus has gone the bluenette route. Cyrus told Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk that she just got tired of the same old...
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Funny story: Taylor Swift Now Looking For A Boyfriend In The Sports World

Taylor Swift Now Looking For A Boyfriend In The Sports World

NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift, 23, was in Music City shopping around for a certain brand of guitar strings. Afterwards she and a close friend identified as Chevette Goobergraust, 21, had lunch at a local Burger Belle. Taylor revealed to Chevette tha...
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Funny story: Pope Benedict To Meet With Lindsay Lohan

Pope Benedict To Meet With Lindsay Lohan

LOS ANGELES - Word out of the Vatican is that Pope Benedict XVI, has informed his press secretary Leonora Sardinia to set up a meeting with the much troubled Tinsel Town starlet Lindsay Lohan. The pope, 85, said that last week he received a text m...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Spotted Out and About With Dennis Rodman

Kristen Stewart Spotted Out and About With Dennis Rodman

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Twilight Saga series Kristen Stewart was seen walking hand in hand with former NBA Bad Boy, Dennis "The Menace" Rodman. The two were spotted going into Needleman's Tattoo Parlor which is owned and operated by the w...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber: I Got Me A Brand New Babe For My Birthday

Justin Bieber: I Got Me A Brand New Babe For My Birthday

LONDON - Justin Bieber says that he has just received the best birthday present that he has ever gotten and her name is Ella-Paige Roberts Clarke. The British Tabloid Ta Ta For Now News reports that the two celebrated Bieber's 19th birthday at the...
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Funny story: Anti-Cult Organization Plans Bulldozer Assault on "Westboro Baptist Cult"

Anti-Cult Organization Plans Bulldozer Assault on "Westboro Baptist Cult"

Mein Kraft, an anti-cult-slash-construction workers' organization, plans to ram the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, labeled to many as a cult, with a squad of bulldozers and other heavy construction equipment. Tony "Harbinger" Toponi, spokespers...
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Funny story: Sequestration Castration to Hit Hard in Congress

Sequestration Castration to Hit Hard in Congress

The dreaded Sequestration is upon us. Which is much like the feared Fiscal Cliff. Which is similar to the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse. Which is related to Y2K. Which is similar to the Bush II administration......wait a minute! That was a real disaster that...
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