Funny story: Ron and Fred on Jugs n Bells

Ron and Fred on Jugs n Bells

RON: I mean I'm not sayin' ev'ryfing was better in the old days Fred coz they wasn't, no gettin away from it, but plenty ov fings was. And I miss em I do. I miss the bells. I miss the smell ov coal, and the saand me mum would make wiv the shovel when she was gettin a bucket ov it in from a big metal fing we ad in our garden. Sahnd all ov its own it ad. It'd all be covered in snow when she came bac...
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Funny story: Reading the Tattoos of Aaron Hernandez

Reading the Tattoos of Aaron Hernandez

Egyptologists have been brought into the Bristol County Jail to read the complex mishmash of tattoos on Aaron Hernandez. Apparently the initial reading of the ink spots all over his arms, chest, back, and hidden areas, are provocative and perhaps...
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Funny story: 'You sure this isn't some sort of Borat trailer?' Kazakhastan President asks David Cameron

'You sure this isn't some sort of Borat trailer?' Kazakhastan President asks David Cameron

Astana - The UK Foreign Office has reportedly paid a $10 million surety to Kazakhstan's Ministry for Truth and Good Behavior guaranteeing there'll be no 'funny tricks' in David Cameron's trip to the oil and gas-rich state this weekend. For months...
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Funny story: US eye in the sky spies on European Union; Europeans totally pissed

US eye in the sky spies on European Union; Europeans totally pissed

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - Not content to spy on just his own citizenry, President Barack Obama also allegedly ordered the U. S. National Insecurity Agency to peep on millions of Europeans. According to reports leaked by Edward Snowden, Obama is intere...
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Funny story: CIA phone buggers 'bugged the Queen'

CIA phone buggers 'bugged the Queen'

Quito, Ecuador - Human frights activists lobbying for CIA whistleblower Edward Snowden's Ecuador asylum bid hinted today about conclusive proof of years of buggery 'and US snooping' on daft octogenarian monarch Elizabeth Windsor. The espionage pro...
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Funny story: Hollyweird's Hottest: Paris Hilton

Hollyweird's Hottest: Paris Hilton

Having had the misfortune to have been named after both a French city and a hotel, heiress Paris Hilton "never had a chance," Freudian psychoanalyst Ima Shrink contends, explaining, "She lacks penis envy." Be that as it may, many consider Hilton to be a "tremendous success," the heiress mom, Kathy Hilton, insists. "How many other young women without talent, looks, or brains have become the sens...
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Funny story: Gay group offers course on rainbow flag, etc.

Gay group offers course on rainbow flag, etc.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA, via WASHINGTON, DC -- The Gay and Lesbian Defamation League of Gentlemen (and Ladies) has announced that, in the wake of the Supreme Court's decision to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act, thus paving the way for a multitude of g...
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Funny story: Bilderberg Whistleblower Heard Power Cuts Plan To Keep People Smoking!

Bilderberg Whistleblower Heard Power Cuts Plan To Keep People Smoking!

Lady Henrietta Partridge-Greenwelly, the wife of ex-Austerity Minister Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly, has turned whistleblower by revealing a devious plot to keep people smoking put together behind closed doors during the recent Bilderberg meeti...
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Funny story: Alistair Campbell puts forward his defence for the forthcoming War Crimes Trial

Alistair Campbell puts forward his defence for the forthcoming War Crimes Trial

Australia: Alistair Campbells key note defense, for any forthcoming war crimes trial. "If the pollsters were to do a survey, who had a greater commitment to wartime truth, Churchill in the Second World War or Tony Blair in Iraq, I think we know what...
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Funny story: Fast-Food Labeling Law To Begin, Must Include Obituary Of Dead Animal

Fast-Food Labeling Law To Begin, Must Include Obituary Of Dead Animal

New York, NY-- A controversial fast-food labeling law is about to begin on July 1 in New York City. All fast-food burgers will be required to give an obituary of the dead animal being served to their customers. The death notice will include the cre...
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Funny story: President Obama Is Tired of Alec Baldwin's Crazy Man Antics and Plans To Have Him Deported

President Obama Is Tired of Alec Baldwin's Crazy Man Antics and Plans To Have Him Deported

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Alec Baldwin seems to think that he has all kinds of privileges and rights that no other American citizen has. According to Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres the second-rate actor has once again imploded and made himself look like a litt...
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Funny story: New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Says Tim Tebow Will Replace Aaron Hernandez

New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Says Tim Tebow Will Replace Aaron Hernandez

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts - Coach Bill Belichick is still in a state of semi-shock regarding former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez. Belichick spoke with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and stated that upon reflection he now realizes that some o...
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Funny story: Princess Kate Denies That She and Prince William Are Naming Their Baby London Fog Mountbatten-Windsor

Princess Kate Denies That She and Prince William Are Naming Their Baby London Fog Mountbatten-Windsor

LOS ANGELES - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune recently spoke with a personal bodyguard of Kate Middleton. And this individual who could not give out his name due to United Kingdom Royal Bodyguarding Protocol rules revealed that he knows more about P...
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Funny story: Chris Brown On Alec Baldwin: Whoa! The White Brutha Needs To Get Himself Some Therapy Quick!

Chris Brown On Alec Baldwin: Whoa! The White Brutha Needs To Get Himself Some Therapy Quick!

LOS ANGELES - Alec Baldwin has once again showed America and the world that he is 55 going on 15 as he insulted a pizza employee who cut his pizza into eight pieces instead of six. The man has one of the quickest tempers on both sides of the Missi...
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Funny story: Kyle Petty Insults Danica Patrick - She Responds By Saying That The Old Has-Been Can Kiss Her Seat Cushion

Kyle Petty Insults Danica Patrick - She Responds By Saying That The Old Has-Been Can Kiss Her Seat Cushion

SPARTA, Kentucky - NASCAR race driver Danica Patrick says that she has pretty much heard it all so she was not surprised when Kyle Petty took some cheap shots at her. According to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, Kyle "The Has Been" P...
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Funny story: Bookies Offer Odds on Pope and Berlusconi

Bookies Offer Odds on Pope and Berlusconi

A leading bookkeeper has drawn up a book on the possibilities surrounding the disgraced Italian Prime Minister and Bunga Bunga media tycoon Silvio Berlusconi's jail sentence for corrupting minors. I spoke with CEO Jimmy Alyercash. He explained as follows: "1/3 is very good odds that Berlusconi will be acquitted on an appeal. The whole trial looks to us to have been a fix-up so that he would...
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Funny story: Political Facebook - President Obama, Vice-President Biden, and That Infamous Super Bowl Ring

Political Facebook - President Obama, Vice-President Biden, and That Infamous Super Bowl Ring

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Vice-President Biden: Hello Mr. President, are you there? 8:01 a.m. President Obama: Good morning to you Joey. How are things going so far? 8:04 a.m. Vice-President Biden: Pretty good Barry. Say have you heard anymore concerning that New England Patriots Super Bowl Ring that Vladimir Putin reportedly stole? 8:07 a.m. President Obama: Well Joey, kinda, sorta, I gue...
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Funny story: Quentin Tarrantino Says He Wrote The "N" Word 110 Times In Django Unchained and He's Doing Just Fine

Quentin Tarrantino Says He Wrote The "N" Word 110 Times In Django Unchained and He's Doing Just Fine

HOLLYWOOD - Tinsel Town writer-director Quentin Tarrantino sat down with Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors and talked about his Civil War movie Django Unchained, Paula Deen, and the "N" word. Tarrantino said that he cannot believe all the turmoil that...
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Funny story: Prince William Lets It Slip That Kate Is Having A Boy

Prince William Lets It Slip That Kate Is Having A Boy

LONDON - When it comes to keeping secrets, Prince William is pretty much in the same league as Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower. And although Wills, as Simon Cowell calls him, does not possess a whistle, he does possess the inability to keep...
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Funny story: Palace Malice Wins The Cabo San Lucas Stakes By 19 Lengths

Palace Malice Wins The Cabo San Lucas Stakes By 19 Lengths

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - The second jewel of Mexico's racing Triple Crown, The Cabo San Lucas Stakes, went to the first jewel winner Palace Malice. The bay colored stallion from Kentucky was ridden by famed jockey Mike "Giddy Up" Smith who rode Pa...
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Funny story: Jennifer Lopez Hints That Her Relationship With Her "Boy Toy" Could Be Coming To An End

Jennifer Lopez Hints That Her Relationship With Her "Boy Toy" Could Be Coming To An End

SAN FRANCISCO - Jennifer Lopez put on a fantastic concert show at Frisco's Veni, Vidi, Veci Coliseum. Her opening act The Fa Shizzle Ma Nizzle Chumpz have turned into one of the best opening acts in the business. The band's lead singer is Tyron...
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Funny story: Don't let them put flora and fauna on your head and call you a "hippie" or a "yippie" lil' feller

Don't let them put flora and fauna on your head and call you a "hippie" or a "yippie" lil' feller

Yes, you have tried to understand them but they're weird and wacko. You've tried to relate to them but they're almost like aliens from an ugly, bizarre, brown dwarf star . . . . In your young wisdom, you are just now discovering how the Flower Power - Free Love & Free Sex turned 'Me! Me! Me!' generation didn't generate much for you. You're feeling unplugged, no doubt. You're running...
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Funny story: Psychiatrists: Obama may be paranoid

Psychiatrists: Obama may be paranoid

WASHINGTON, D. C. -- Psychiatrists privately suggest that President Barack Obama may be developing paranoia. "He seems to believe that everyone is out to get him," Dr. Hy Mann said, off the record. Another shrink. Dr. Si Ko, agreed with his co...
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