Funny story: Animal Crackers Comes Under Fire

Animal Crackers Comes Under Fire

Animal Crackers are animal-shaped cookies (?) designed by carnivorous subhumans as brainwashing tools by which to corrupt innocent children who, without such indoctrination-disguised-as-treats, might become vegetarians, eschewing the abuse of the ver...
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Funny story: Bra's Wonderful Testimonials

Bra's Wonderful Testimonials

"They call it a Wonder Bra because when I take it off, Freddie wonders where my boobs went. - Sarah Michelle Gellar Wonder Bra, a subsidiary completely owned and operated by Wonder Bread ("We build sound bodies 12 different ways") is designed to l...
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Funny story: The term 'Smart Phone' is no longer acceptable

The term 'Smart Phone' is no longer acceptable

After a meeting at the World Technology Conference in Milan, mobile cell phone companies are urging customers to stop using the phrase 'smart phone' to describe touch screen phones. "These phones are pretty smart," said Nokia boss, Samuel Sung. "H...
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Funny story: Erotica: How to Know It When You See It

Erotica: How to Know It When You See It

According to some, erotica is what women, who lack the balls to refer to it by its real name, call pornography. However, they contend that erotica differs from porn in that it is ofter, warmer, fuzzier, and feels better on the lips and tongue than pornography tends to feel. Characteristics Some individuals also contend that a number of its characteristics further define erotica, distingu...
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Funny story: Canada train wreck, San Francisco jet crash...is this an omen for Andy Murray's Wimbledon dream?

Canada train wreck, San Francisco jet crash...is this an omen for Andy Murray's Wimbledon dream?

London - An astrological roller coaster weekend of terrible disasters has been triggered by the Moon/Mars conjunction in the sign of Cancer just hours ahead of Sunday's Wimbledon Men's Finals where Brit No 1 hope Andy Murray's makes his championship...
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Funny story: If you Have a Food Allergy, Tell Your Server...Or Not

If you Have a Food Allergy, Tell Your Server...Or Not

Whenever I see the universal sign about food allergies in a restaurant, I'm tempted to add the words "Or Not." You see, here's the thing. When you tell the server, you tell everyone else within hearing distance. And that may not be smart. What if a disgruntled neighbor is sitting nearby? A neighbor who feels you crossed her property line many times without permission while you worked on y...
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Funny story: Things You Might Overhear At Your Gym

Things You Might Overhear At Your Gym

One: Ugghhh! Two: Oooooofff! Three: Aaarrgh! Four: Yuccccchhhh! Five: Grrrmmmppp! Six: Are you alright? Seven: Help! Eight: Where's the AED? Nine: Anyone know CPR, goddammit! Ten: Hello, 911? Meanwhile, there is a certain gym culture that needs to be abolished. Cleaning the equipment...
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Funny story: Edward Snowden spotted in royal box at Wimbledon Men's Finals

Edward Snowden spotted in royal box at Wimbledon Men's Finals

Langley, Virginia - Long distance surveillance wizards at the CIA's President George Herbert Bush Center for Intelligence [sic] HQ are studying latest imagery of US intelligence whistleblower Edward Snowden who has just been discovered in the third r...
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Funny story: France Angry Over NSA's Spies Uncovering Embarassing Research

France Angry Over NSA's Spies Uncovering Embarassing Research

It has finally been discovered exactly why the French Government is so upset about the NSA surveillance imbroglio. This scandal has reached a level that, according to White House insiders, President Obama is hoping for some disaster he can attend s...
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Funny story: NSA: Top 10 French Secrets Exposed by Edward Snowden

NSA: Top 10 French Secrets Exposed by Edward Snowden

10. Charles De Gaulle is alive and well working as a sous-chef in an Avignon bistro. 9. Napoleon isn't really buried in that porphyry sarcophagus in Les Invalides. It's Jim Morrison 8. The ratio of mistresses to ministers is 10:1. 7. The "yellow streak" on the back of the typical French soldier is 112.8 cm. wide. 6. 87.5% of the French cabinet are bedding the same mistress. Howe...
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Funny story: Mormon Missionaries linked to CIA

Mormon Missionaries linked to CIA

A recent hearing in Washington revealed that for many years, young Mormon Missionaries have been suspected of working for the CIA. "Who would suspect those shining young faces of being the eyes and ears of a well planned national information retrievi...
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Funny story: Dorking celebrates local medieval character

Dorking celebrates local medieval character

Dorking Museum has today opened an exhibition to celebrate the 800th anniversary of the death of King Cunbert the Anachronistic of Dorking. He ruled the area briefly during the Forgotten King period, when Dorking lost contact with the rest of the cou...
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Funny story: Self-Cleaning ovens linked to stomach disorders

Self-Cleaning ovens linked to stomach disorders

The FDA released a report that had been compiled by FDA Research Assistant J. Herman Petersilge of Iona, New York, which offers a scenario where self cleaning ovens are a cause of stomach disorders. "It was right there in front of us all the time,...
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Funny story: Cookie company to sue consumers

Cookie company to sue consumers

Mabiskit manufacturers of cookies and snacks is only a few days away from announcing a ground-breaking lawsuit against consumers, oddly enough, who have purchased some of the company's actual products. The consumers have no conception of the manuf...
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