Funny story: Putin Plans on Pilfering Another Ring

Putin Plans on Pilfering Another Ring

OUTER SPACE - Today Russia announced that they will be traveling to Saturn in a historic expedition to be the first to bring back something from Earth's distant cousin. Unfortunately, their motives are suspect. Russian President Vladimir Putin...
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Funny story: Pope Likes Gay Men Better Than Women

Pope Likes Gay Men Better Than Women

Pope Francis shocked reporters on Monday when he stated that he was "comfortable" with gay men as priests, but was quick to point out that this largesse did not extend to ordaining women to the priesthood. "Gay men may be flawed in the eyes of God, b...
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Funny story: Broker Oversleeps, Wakes Up 25 Years Later with a Whopper

Broker Oversleeps, Wakes Up 25 Years Later with a Whopper

By now everyone has seen the brokerage house commercial that begins with the wide-eyed confession by the firm's chief talking head, Ty Won On, that "it is clearly not the 80's and 90's any more!" For a long time analysts and potential customers h...
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Funny story: Obama administration launches brainwashing program against U. S. citizens

Obama administration launches brainwashing program against U. S. citizens

WASHINGTON, DC --- Convinced that it knows what is best for everyone else, the Obama administration has launched a new effort to control citizens' behavior and bend them to the federal government's will: BIT (Behavioral Insights Team) is working "ac...
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Funny story: Will.I.Am Just Wants To Be Taken Seriously

Will.I.Am Just Wants To Be Taken Seriously

Will.I.Am of The Black Eyed Peas has recently stated that the song 'I Gotta Feeling' isn't just a generic and uninspired pop record, but is actually a meaningful, emotive song about the Bosnian Genocide which people have completely misunderstood.
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Funny story: Network Wages War on Grass

Network Wages War on Grass

HOLLYWOOD - A&E presents the new original real-life series "Grass Wars," which follows two suburban homeowners and - their lawns. Audiences can tune in each weeknight for three full hours to watch their grass grow starting at 7pm Eastern/ 6pm CST...
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Funny story: Local Trucker Breaks Space-Time Continuum

Local Trucker Breaks Space-Time Continuum

Tom Johnson, a truck driver from Smelling, WI, was given a particularly rough quota from his boss last week. He was supposed to pick up a load in Augusta, Maine, and deliver it to San Francisco. Once in San Francisco, he was supposed to take another...
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Funny story: Weiner's Wiener Reports The News

Weiner's Wiener Reports The News

This is Anthony Weiner's Wiener reporting from New York. We seem to have misplaced our communications director and campaign manager, so I'll take over those roles starting now. Item 1. Bill and Hillary paid us a visit last night. They were not too...
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Funny story: Big Mother's letter to Russia on Big Brother here and there

Big Mother's letter to Russia on Big Brother here and there

Dear Mr. Putin and everyone involved in The Airport Case. Greetings to you very kindly, and thank you for your time. I am Big Mother, writing to you on behalf of my sons, Big Brothers here and everywhere around the globe. First off, please understand that in America the government never takes any actions that will harm other people, especially its own citizens. And of course it will...
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Funny story: Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

English Premier League (EPL) side Totting-ham Hot-sports have pleaded with La Liga giants Real Madrid to pay cash up front for Gareth Bale, the hottest footballer ever to leave Wales, (a tiny island the size of Wales on the side of England) North...
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Funny story: The War on Knowledge: 'Ignorance is the New Intelligence'

The War on Knowledge: 'Ignorance is the New Intelligence'

"Ignorance is bliss", that's my motto. The less you know the better, whatever the subject is. I look around and I see people desperate to learn, people who work so hard to have the best education, and little do they know that what they've spent their whole lives trying to accomplish is what will lead to their utter misery. Don't be fooled! Education is nothing but a conspiracy created by those who...
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Funny story: Colorado Bear Gripes About Bad Experience in Local Bar

Colorado Bear Gripes About Bad Experience in Local Bar

When the bear visited the bar in question (see "Bear Walks Into A Bar: 300-Pound Colorado Black Bear Eludes Patrons" in the International Business Times), he didn't receive much of a welcome. In fact, there was no welcome at all! In an exclusiv...
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Funny story: A List of Governor Chris Christie's 12 Favorite Foods

A List of Governor Chris Christie's 12 Favorite Foods

There is perhaps no politician in the United States who enjoys eating more than Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey. Governor Christie adheres to the adage popularized by 70s musical icon David Crosby who said on many occasions that he had never met food that he did not like. The New Jersey governor has revealed that he weighs 351 pounds and chuckles that about 198 pounds is water weight.
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Funny story: Animal Rights Group Wants Niagara Falls Fixed

Animal Rights Group Wants Niagara Falls Fixed

NORFOLK, Virginia - Well the animal rights people are up in arms again and this time it is all about Niagara Falls. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have stated that they have just had an independent research study firm complete an...
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Funny story: To Avoid Any Further Sexist Claims Viagra Pills Will Now Come In Pink As Well As In Blue

To Avoid Any Further Sexist Claims Viagra Pills Will Now Come In Pink As Well As In Blue

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Medications has announced that they will be acting to stem the tide on any more lawsuits due to government issued Viagra pills. A spokesperson for the UDDM stated that the initial lawsuit, was fil...
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Funny story: Boogers: they're finger-lickin' good!

Boogers: they're finger-lickin' good!

"Booger" (also "boogie") is the polite name for snot, a free, delicious, nutritious emergency ration produced, without fanfare, by the nasal mucosa in such abundance that individuals swallow approximately 3.48 gallons per day without realizing it. Boogers are made up of mucin, water, cells, and inorganic salts. Depending upon the size of the serving, a single helping may contain from 10 to 40 c...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Wants A Conjugal Visit Bad

Lindsay Lohan Wants A Conjugal Visit Bad

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan says that she is so bored with her rehab stay that she actually spends a lot of time counting her freckles. She still needs about another 30 days to go before she is discharged from the rehab clinic. According to Mac...
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Funny story: Wynonna Judd Says That The Skinny Pills Don't Work

Wynonna Judd Says That The Skinny Pills Don't Work

NASHVILLE - Wynonna Judd was in the recording studio working on a new album that she says will be released in November. She remarked that she has always liked the music of Little Jimmy Dickens and so she decided to do an album with 10 of his songs...
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Funny story: Kelly Clarkson Says That Full-Figured Women Make The Best Wives

Kelly Clarkson Says That Full-Figured Women Make The Best Wives

CUCAMONGA, California - Kelly Clarkson has stated many times that she does not have to be as skinny as LeAnn Rimes to feel good about herself. The country music singer performed at The Santa Ana Winds Arena in Cucamonga and she was talking backsta...
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Funny story: Verizon, AT&T Announce New Data Plan Feature To Allow NSA Spying While Saving Customers Money

Verizon, AT&T Announce New Data Plan Feature To Allow NSA Spying While Saving Customers Money

Leading U.S. mobile phone service providers Verizon and AT&T today announced a new data plan feature aimed at saving customers money, while complying with NSA rules for collection of private information. Both companies said that recent updates...
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Funny story: After Hours of Family Deliberation Royal Family Decides George is Perfect

After Hours of Family Deliberation Royal Family Decides George is Perfect

LONDON - The newest member of the royal family has been named. According to a royal insider, the namesake of the young prince is George Zimmerman despite rumors that it was actually the Queen's father, King George VI. In recent reports, Willia...
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Funny story: Pope Francis on "Grown Ups 2" - Who am I to judge?

Pope Francis on "Grown Ups 2" - Who am I to judge?

Following a string of conciliatory statements to the press, Pope Francis says he will not make public his review of Adam Sandler's new film "Grown Ups 2". "Who am I to judge what people find funny?", asked the Pope on his recent flight home from Sou...
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