Funny story: Obama Will Use Executive Orders To Outlaw Guns

Obama Will Use Executive Orders To Outlaw Guns

Washington, DC - Vice President Joseph R. Biden vowed action from President Obama on gun confiscation on Wednesday and floated the idea that Mr. Obama could use executive orders to do so. "This president is going to act," Mr. Biden said, speaking...
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Funny story: Bird therapist blasts free range chicken farms - "Chickens need structure," expert says

Bird therapist blasts free range chicken farms - "Chickens need structure," expert says

Free range chickens have more severe behavioral problems than birds that are subject to strict rules and guidelines, says acclaimed poultry therapist and chicken hypnotist Topaz Corpel-Klotz. "What I'm saying might surprise people, but I see the p...
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Funny story: Area Man Proves Doubters, Critics Right

Area Man Proves Doubters, Critics Right

NEW YORK, NY--When Jerry Elmswick dropped out of college in 1996 to start his own travel agency, he faced a rapid barrage of criticism and disapproval from his friends and family. 17 years later, Elmswick can finally stand up and tell all of his doub...
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Funny story: Grim Reaper: "Oprah's book club changed my life"

Grim Reaper: "Oprah's book club changed my life"

"I just can't do the whole gloom and dome thing anymore." That was the message the Grim Reaper passed along to reporters today at a well-attended news conference. "You know, after reading A New Earth-Awakening by Eckhart Tolle, which is on Opra...
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Funny story: Buck-Toothed Man Unable to Remove Turtleneck Shirt

Buck-Toothed Man Unable to Remove Turtleneck Shirt

Despite gallant efforts, firefighters were unable to remove a tight turtleneck shirt worn by a local man because of his oversized front teeth. 34-year old Skeech Burlingame said he tried the shirt on at a nearby clothing store but when he tried...
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Funny story: Local man recognizes his neighbor in Body Worlds exhibit

Local man recognizes his neighbor in Body Worlds exhibit

Imagine Arlo DeFennemeyer's surprise when, during a visit to the Body Worlds show at the Expo Center last weekend, one of the exhibits turned out to be his former neighbor. "Yep, that's Bob alright. He had a small head and big feet-I'd recogniz...
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Funny story: Pet goat to stand in for Hugo Chavez inauguration

Pet goat to stand in for Hugo Chavez inauguration

Caracas - A myotonic - or 'fainting' - goat that once featured in George W Bush's My Pet Goat moment during the 9/11 attack on the Twin Towers is the prime contender to take the Venezuelan president's oath of orifice tomorrow. The proxy arrangemen...
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Funny story: Apple's new iHad will enable users to list stuff they had before recession

Apple's new iHad will enable users to list stuff they had before recession

The Apple iHad hasn't even reached the marketplace yet and analysts are already saying that it could be the Cupertino company's biggest hit yet. "It's certainly right for the times," commented tech blogger Luna Moon Spumacher, who added, "And at jus...
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Funny story: Congress to Star in a Super Bowl Commercial

Congress to Star in a Super Bowl Commercial

Hollywood - Faced with the lowest approval rating in the history of approval ratings, the United States Congress plans to promote itself with a television ad produced specifically to run during the Super Bowl. "Everybody keeps making fun of us," c...
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Funny story: Celebrities rush to defend "bird brain" Tess Daly after Buerk attack

Celebrities rush to defend "bird brain" Tess Daly after Buerk attack

Days after Michael Buerk slammed the BBC's Jubilee coverage, celebrities have come to the defence of Tess Daly, whom Buerk described as a "pneumatic bird brain". The Pineapple Dance Studio narrator singled out the Strictly Come Dancing presenter...
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Funny story: Britain's Nuclear deterrent, in the safe hands of naval ratings, "drunk out of their minds"!

Britain's Nuclear deterrent, in the safe hands of naval ratings, "drunk out of their minds"!

HMS Astute, Southampton: Police investigations, carried out by the Hampshire Constabulary have found out that the consumption of 20 pints of cider was not unsual for naval ratings and "significant" numbers of the crew used to get "drunk out of their...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton Talks About Her Nude Calendar

Paris Hilton Talks About Her Nude Calendar

BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton was in the Haven of Hair Salon getting her split ends taken care of. As she sat in her chair she noticed that there was a copy of her brand new 2013 Paris Hilton Nude Calendar sitting on top of a Cosmopolitan Magazine.
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Funny story: U.S. Mint to Strike Platinum One Trillion Dollar Coin

U.S. Mint to Strike Platinum One Trillion Dollar Coin

Washington, DC The United States Treasury Department has ordered the United States Mint to strike a One Trillion Dollar coin made of platinum (plated). The coin or coins will be used to repay loans issued by the Federal Reserve Banks and the Banks o...
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Funny story: Melo Anthony Told He is Too Tall To Be a Footman on Downton Abbey

Melo Anthony Told He is Too Tall To Be a Footman on Downton Abbey

We have learned what Kevin Garnett said to Carmelo Anthony that Mr. Anthony contends should never be said from one man to another. Melo, as he often is called in terms of endearment, found that Kevin Garnett had many unpleasant nicknames beyond Me...
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Funny story: A List of Celebrities Who Have Already Broken Their 2013 New Year's Resolutions

A List of Celebrities Who Have Already Broken Their 2013 New Year's Resolutions

Noted author Edgar Allan Poe once said that rules are made to be broken. And he should know since he had a history of breaking all kinds of rules, regulations, guidelines, and basic metaphorical musings. Poe, whose real name was Bernardo Chang Poetic, once told a reporter with the Milwaukee Morning Mentioner, that he loved the word photosynthesis, and he tried to incorporate it into everything...
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Funny story: Monica Lewinsky Talks About Pregnancy

Monica Lewinsky Talks About Pregnancy

REDONDO BEACH, California - The most famous White House intern in history, Monica Lewinsky, was recently spotted at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Redondo Beach enjoying a pizza that had been run through the garden. Lewinsky, 39, was accompanied by a l...
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Funny story: Efficiency experts says "objects in mirror are closer than they appear" is unacceptable - calls for more products to be made in the U.S.

Efficiency experts says "objects in mirror are closer than they appear" is unacceptable - calls for more products to be made in the U.S.

According to Riley Cleffner, the message printed on most vehicle mirrors is a perfect example of why America should build more products right here at home. "This mirror was built overseas and it's garbage. Objects should not be closer than they...
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Funny story: Popularity of chicken wings results in glut of wingless chicken bodies

Popularity of chicken wings results in glut of wingless chicken bodies

The U.S. Department of Agriculture reports that the country is awash in wingless chicken bodies. "Everybody loves chicken wings, but they forget we have to do something with the rest of the chicken," said USDA spokesperson Wendeee Calpido.
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Funny story: Entire state of Oregon flees in the middle of the night

Entire state of Oregon flees in the middle of the night

The entire state of Oregon fled sometime early yesterday morning, leaving behind 98,000 square miles of dirt, an old Subaru, and a note that explained, "It's not that we dislike California, but it's like having a neighbor who has way too many people...
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Funny story: Pastor Calls 911 To Help Him Out Of Handcuffs And A Ball Gag

Pastor Calls 911 To Help Him Out Of Handcuffs And A Ball Gag

911 operators were surprised and a bit shocked when a caller requested help from a situation he'd gotten himself into. The 911 operator answered the call: 911 Operator Can I help you Caller (In a muffled voice) I'm stuck in handcuffs and I can't get out 911 Operator I'm sorry I couldn't understand what you said, could you repeat yourself. Caller (In a muffled voice) I'm stuck i...
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Funny story: Nimby Removed from the Endangered Species List

Nimby Removed from the Endangered Species List

Washington DC: The US Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS) has removed the North American Blue Tailed Nimby from the Endangered Species List (ESL). A spokesperson for the USFWS indicated that removing the Nimby from the ESL was predicated on an unex...
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Funny story: An Answer At Last To The Gun Control Problem- Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns

An Answer At Last To The Gun Control Problem- Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns

Are Chinese guns the answer to Americas eternal firearm problem? Out of the most unseemly of circumstances a solution has come to solve the problems of American gun control, the overbearing political adventures of the NRA and the high cost of ammu...
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