Funny story: Pope's resignation all about Lockerbie cover-up says 'deep throat'

Pope's resignation all about Lockerbie cover-up says 'deep throat'

Washington - A cover-up about mad-as-hatter former Pontiff Karol Wojtyla is lying in tatters following the resignation of his German successor and top apologist Pope Joseph Ratzinger. "No wonder US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta begged Pope Benny-...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Fakes Illness to Buy Discounted Valentine's Day Gifts For Girlfriends

Tiger Woods Fakes Illness to Buy Discounted Valentine's Day Gifts For Girlfriends

JUPITER ISLAND - The last three years on Valentine's Day, Tiger Woods has not felt well. Or, at least, that's what he has told his girlfriends. "I've got about 13 different women I have to buy for. You know what kind of deals you can get if you...
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Funny story: Remixed Cliff Richard single spearheads The Pope's A Living God campaign

Remixed Cliff Richard single spearheads The Pope's A Living God campaign

Jamaica - A newly remixed version of Richard's 1959 single Living Doll has been launched in a fun-raiser spearheading Pope Benedict being declared a living god. The campaign originally kicked off in April 2007 when the Ass Press reported parallels...
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Funny story: Crap Towns attract a range of dodgy characters

Crap Towns attract a range of dodgy characters

Following the dubious award of Top Crap Town UK for the fifth year running, the residents of Baconsthorpe seem to have embraced the notoriety of their depressing abode. Mayor Jimmy (The Knife) Roberto has taken out a full page advertisement this...
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Funny story: Tom Werner to Produce 'Red Sox Acres' with Arnold the Pig

Tom Werner to Produce 'Red Sox Acres' with Arnold the Pig

Millionaire owner Tom Werner of the Red Sox read the book by former manager Terry Francona, and his insight into the Red Sox in 2011 in particular. Werner expressed pleasure that he did not have to buy the book, which would have set him back $20 w...
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Funny story: Man With Baseball Glove "Catches" Meteorite

Man With Baseball Glove "Catches" Meteorite

Russian officials have confirmed that a 68-year old oat farmer wearing a catcher's mitt caught the meteorite that crashed early Friday in the Yadayadayada region of that country. Officials say Ivgeny Squishedsky stood in his yard for hours eagerly w...
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Funny story: Mayor Bloomberg's Revolving Fire Hydrants Causing Problems For Dogs In NYC

Mayor Bloomberg's Revolving Fire Hydrants Causing Problems For Dogs In NYC

BILLINGSGATE POST - Determined to stop dogs from urinating on freshly painted fire hydrants, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg ordered the installation of revolving fire hydrants in the Central Park area of Manhattan. On a sidewalk where many...
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Funny story: God sends meteor to Russia with the name of the new Pope written on it!

God sends meteor to Russia with the name of the new Pope written on it!

With the dramatic news of the Pope resigning and several bolts of thunder crashing over the Vatican, God has now decided who will follow Pope Benedict XVI by sending a meteor crashing down into Russia. After the impact a hoard of Russian Catholic...
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Funny story: Ryan Giggs' - My (Fake) Diary

Ryan Giggs' - My (Fake) Diary

2010 was a remarkable year in many ways but undoubtedly one of the greatest accomplishments of the year was reached by Ryan Giggs in his role as a Manchester United player. I recently released a book which drew from Giggs' personal diaries and gives us some great insights into the man and the changes that have taken place in his time at Manchester United so far. Read on to view some of my fa...
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Funny story: NASA's Bold Plan to Avoid Asteroid Armageddon

NASA's Bold Plan to Avoid Asteroid Armageddon

The US space agency NASA plans to build a giant bat for deflecting asteroids that are on collision with Earth. The bat will be put into orbit 25,000 miles above the planet. Recent near misses and hits, most notably the fly-by of a 150-foot asteroi...
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Funny story: The Smelly Cruise Ship Triumph AKA The USS Porta Potty Finally Docks at Mobile, Alabama

The Smelly Cruise Ship Triumph AKA The USS Porta Potty Finally Docks at Mobile, Alabama

MOBILE, Alabama - After being out on The Gulf of Mexico for five days stinking up the place, the Carnival ship Triumph AKA The USS Porta Potty has finally docked at Mobile, Alabama. A representative for the city of Mobile, Fayleen Charleen Winterb...
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Funny story: Ben Stiller to Direct, Star in Tropic Thunder Prequel

Ben Stiller to Direct, Star in Tropic Thunder Prequel

BURBANK - A confused Ben Stiller held a press conference Friday morning to announce plans to start shooting "Cold Lightning," a prequel to the 2008 Stiller-directed film, "Tropic Thunder." DreamWorks SKG signed on to produce the prequel, which will a...
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Funny story: Russian meteor sourced to Horseshoe Nebula abattoir

Russian meteor sourced to Horseshoe Nebula abattoir

Yekaterinburg - Astronauts aboard the International Space Station managed to film the giant space furball's - er...fireball's! - trajectory after tracking its ejection from the Horseshoe Nebula in the constellation of Sagittarius the Archer. The i...
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Funny story: Kate Middleton's Blue Bikinied Baby Bump Papped

Kate Middleton's Blue Bikinied Baby Bump Papped

NEW YORK CITY - Reports are that Queen Elizabeth is fit to be tied (once again) over the over exposure of granddaughter-in-law Kate Middleton AKA The Duchess of Cambridge. Kate The Great and her husband William The Hubby were having a great time v...
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Funny story: Boston Celtics To Make Trade with Vatican

Boston Celtics To Make Trade with Vatican

With Pope Benedict's edict that he will retire soon, superstar Kevin Garnett dropped a net on the ever-speculating press about his own retirement, but this threat may be a ploy to accept a trade from the green C's to the Holy See team. Could it be...
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Funny story: Discovery of New Mayan Calendar Updates Doomsday Prophesy

Discovery of New Mayan Calendar Updates Doomsday Prophesy

Archeologists have discovered a new Mayan calendar - the Beach Babes Bikini Edition - that provides a new, and more reliable, date for the end of the world: June, 2014. Discovering the calendar also proves that the Mayan's much publicized prophes...
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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Only Cheating Himself - Claim

Lance Armstrong Only Cheating Himself - Claim

Lance Armstrong, the 7-time Tour de France winner who, it's been revealed, achieved his victories with the help of banned drugs, is only cheating himself, writes spoof cycling correspondent Moys Kenwood. Armstrong used a cocktail of banned substan...
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Funny story: Next Pope will be elected through an X-Factor style show

Next Pope will be elected through an X-Factor style show

Andrew Lloyd Webber has been approached by the Vatican to put together a television show that will let the Catholic Church elect a new Pontiff through the popular television format pioneered by shows such as the X-Factor and America's Got Talented Ki...
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Funny story: Which lane to choose? There's an app for that

Which lane to choose? There's an app for that

Everybody has sat on a motorway, looking at the other lanes all moving faster, only for them to slam to a stop the moment you change lanes into them. If only it was possible to predict which lane was the fastest, people could shave seconds off their...
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Funny story: Now horse meat found in cannibal meals

Now horse meat found in cannibal meals

Supermarket giant Tesdabury's has become the latest store caught up in the horse meat scandal after allegations that horse meat has been found in its "Cannibal Range" of ready meals. A clearly shaken company spokesperson Sue Perior admitted "This...
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Funny story: Tony Blair elected Pope

Tony Blair elected Pope

Former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has been elected Pope in a widely expected effort by The Vatican to increase the Church's popularity. Members of the Papal Conclave, charged with electing a new Pope, studied Blair's 1997 Election campaign material...
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Funny story: President Obama Upset That His Favorite Hamburger Joint Has Closed

President Obama Upset That His Favorite Hamburger Joint Has Closed

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama received word from his Chief Secret Service Agent Laramie Cobalt that his favorite hamburger establishment Ray's Hell Burgers has shut its doors. The president immediately asked what in the world had happened. He...
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Funny story: A 7-Foot-10-Inch Tall High School Sophomore Scores 193 Points In a Basketball Game

A 7-Foot-10-Inch Tall High School Sophomore Scores 193 Points In a Basketball Game

CHEYENNE, Wyoming - The Johnny Appleseed Fighting Applepickers defeated their crosstown district rivals The Mary Todd Lincoln High School Vultures by a score of 203-47. The halftime score in Cheyenne's Buffalo Stampede Arena was Appleseed 181 - Li...
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Funny story: American Idol Picks The Top 40

American Idol Picks The Top 40

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol has gotten through with Hollywood Week and judges Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey seem to have put their differences behind them as things at the judges table have settled down. Of course Randy "The Dawg" Jackson still seems...
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Funny story: Phil Jackson: I Need To Be The Lakers Coach Now!

Phil Jackson: I Need To Be The Lakers Coach Now!

LOS ANGELES - Phil Jackson, who is the proud owner of 13 NBA Championship rings, has stated that he is sick and tired of seeing his former Lakers team lose. Jackson told Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine that he has spoken at length...
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Funny story: Republicans Vote to Eliminate Poverty Line

Republicans Vote to Eliminate Poverty Line

In a historic vote today House Republicans lead by John Boner voted to eliminate the artificial poverty line. Typically the poverty rate is considered to be "on average" in the U.S. (and it varies from state to state) $11,440, for one person living a...
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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Says Paula Deen Is Her New BFF

Kirstie Alley Says Paula Deen Is Her New BFF

NEW YORK CITY - Kirstie Alley recently appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight and talked about the two times she's appeared on Dancing With The Stars. She revealed to Morgan that dancing with Maksim Chmerkovskiy was the greatest thing in the world but i...
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Funny story: Olympic decision on wrestling linked to Mel Brooks' film

Olympic decision on wrestling linked to Mel Brooks' film

The world of sports was shocked on Tuesday when it was announced that the 2020 games will be held without the sport of wrestling, removing it as one of the 26 "core sports", even though the sport is steeped in tradition going back to the ancient game...
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