Funny story: Metal thieves are pushing up the price of metal

Metal thieves are pushing up the price of metal

Every day, one hundred thousand tonnes of metal are stolen across the UK. This is mainly copper, although there is a significant amount of iron also. All of this metal needs to be replaced, as most of it can be quite vital to railway lines, the st...
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Funny story: Award winning bad author returns

Award winning bad author returns

Following on from her highly successful award-winning novel which won the 2012 Bad Sex Awards, Lobelia Flaps has written a new book, out in shops now. It is a historical romance novel set in rural England in the 1600s with lashings of racy lesbianism. Called "Love's Bleeding Gums" it is about a female dentist called Aeneid Love who is looking for a husband, but suspects she may be attracted to...
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Funny story: Palace Rent-A-Pap Snaps Scrawny-Arsed Kate And Droopy Wills

Palace Rent-A-Pap Snaps Scrawny-Arsed Kate And Droopy Wills

Mustique - There's faux outrage from Buckingham Palace tonight at the publication of holiday snaps of Kate and Wills. Secretly commissioned by the Palace PR machine the bootleg pics in an Italian rag look carefully staged for a dank and blear Febr...
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Funny story: Terrorists Against Drone Attacks (TADA) To March On Washington

Terrorists Against Drone Attacks (TADA) To March On Washington

BILLINGSGATE POST - Tired of having their leaders taken out by drones, a lower echelon al-Qaeda spokesman said that its terrorist branch in the USA plans to march on Washington as soon as they receive a waiver from being attacked by drones while asse...
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Funny story: New Zealand women dies after being a Cola-aholic!

New Zealand women dies after being a Cola-aholic!

Drinking too much of a well known fizzy, dark brown drink, not Guiness, can kill you but only if you consume ten buckets a day as a women did in New Zealand. The reason why she drunk so much of the stuff was very simple; New Zealand is the most bo...
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Funny story: Passengers of Crippled Ship Jump Overboard After David Hasselhoff Flies In to Entertain Them

Passengers of Crippled Ship Jump Overboard After David Hasselhoff Flies In to Entertain Them

The US Coast Guard was kept busy this morning plucking hundreds of passengers out of the water after they jumped overboard to avoid the singing of David Hasselhoff. Party Cruise Lines later released an apologetic statement saying they were "just...
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Funny story: Bank Manager Accused of Planning Robbery Just to Get Floors Cleaned

Bank Manager Accused of Planning Robbery Just to Get Floors Cleaned

"The robber burst through the doors and ordered us all to lie on the floor or else he'd shoot us," said Skweezola Bank customer Altima deNissan, adding, "It was horrible." According to police, the robbery was actually staged by the bank manager...
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Funny story: The Case of The Mysterious Face Jammer

The Case of The Mysterious Face Jammer

Panic in the streets of small town continued tonight as the mysterious face jammer claimed yet another victim, this time outside of the bespoke chickens shop on 'dash-it-all street'. Chief inspector Williams has been drafted in from the 'super-duper...
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Funny story: SARS Virus Discovered In New SARS-Flavored Cheerios

SARS Virus Discovered In New SARS-Flavored Cheerios

ATLANTA, GA - Steny Tripinski, senior spokesperson for the Centers for Disease Control, has issue a new SARS alert, confirming that scientists have discovered evidence of a new SARS Virus in multiple boxes of latest breakfast cereal, 'SARS-Flavored C...
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Funny story: Whedon Now Bottling His Urine For Sale on Ebay

Whedon Now Bottling His Urine For Sale on Ebay

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Convinced he is the savior of all things goods and holy, Joss Whedon celebrating wrapping principal photography with a web announcement that set his fandom aflutter: beginning next Monday, he'll be overseeing production of bottlin...
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Funny story: Pope's secret pacemaker 'was Italian Stallion'

Pope's secret pacemaker 'was Italian Stallion'

Rome - The Pope had an Italian Cardinal fitted up to run as pacemaker during his 2005 election run for the papacy a report in Rome's Corriere Della Que Serra Serra newspaper alleges. Cardinal Gorgon Zola secured 49% of the first conclave run-off b...
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Funny story: Irish Leprechaun predicts future weather

Irish Leprechaun predicts future weather

We have all heard of the Pennsylvania Groundhog that predicts future weather patterns on Groundhog day but the Irish also have a weather predictor known as the "First Leprechaun". Every St. Bridget's Day, 1st of February, the first Leprechaun of...
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Funny story: Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Thrilled That The Vampire Diaries Has Been Renewed

Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Thrilled That The Vampire Diaries Has Been Renewed

HOLLYWOOD - There is much rejoicing going on in Mystic Falls, Virginia, the fictitious town where the CW TV series The Vampire Diaries is set. The shows producer Manolo Middlezuck has just informed the entertainment media, that the highly popular...
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Funny story: David Attenborough Accused of Air-Brushing Out Gay Animal Antics

David Attenborough Accused of Air-Brushing Out Gay Animal Antics

Vintage wild-life presenter Sir David Attenborough has been accused of not acknowledging how some animals have gay members who wish to come out of the closet. David Brett commented, "Whenever two male chimpanzees cuddle and cavort around together...
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Funny story: Pope Quits, Dutch Queen Signs Off, Is Queen Elizabeth Next?

Pope Quits, Dutch Queen Signs Off, Is Queen Elizabeth Next?

Glancing through the morning papers, whilst having breakfast in bed, the queen's eyes froze at the headline reading: Pope Benedict XVI To Resign. She was reported to have immediately reached under the blankets for her purse, pulled out her mobile and pressed #1 on her speed dial. Around the world, crossing the Atlantic, and into the basement bunker office of the National Security Agency in the...
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Funny story: The Final Pope Is Coming!!!

The Final Pope Is Coming!!!

Hysteria has been caused in some areas of the United States and in Ireland by the resignation of Pope Benedick the 16th. The Mayor of Boston,Thomas Menino has had to contend with the blizzard and now wacky rumours that we are entering the end times.
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Funny story: Fried fish found to contain sea-horses

Fried fish found to contain sea-horses

A leading fish 'n' chip shop has admitted that portions of fried fish were heavily contaminated with traces of sea-horse. The supply of fish was obtained from parts of the North Sea - which links up with France, Holland and Scandinavia. Icelan...
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Funny story: Tim Tebow to sign for the Red Sox

Tim Tebow to sign for the Red Sox

New York Jets flop quarterback Tim Tebow is to switch sports and try his hand at Pitching for the Boston Red Sox. The Red Sox have faced years of mediocre pitching from disasters like Daisuke Matsuzaka to a bullpen that last season gave up more r...
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Funny story: Red Sox Do Not Shoot Off Their Mouths

Red Sox Do Not Shoot Off Their Mouths

Red Sox have started Spring Training with guns blazing. Red Sox hot prospect Bryce Brentz shot himself in the leg last month while cleaning one of his myriad weapons. Though this sort of careless gun care is usually reserved for NFL players at...
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Funny story: Greek Orthodox Church Shock Frontrunner to Sign Pope Benedict

Greek Orthodox Church Shock Frontrunner to Sign Pope Benedict

The Greek Orthodox Church has made a dramatic, multi-million dollar bid for the signature of Pope Benedict XVI. A number of leading religions are competing for the former pontiff's services after he handed in a transfer request to the Vatican. "Wi...
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Funny story: North Korea and Romania in Nuclear Bomb Found in Lasagna Shocker

North Korea and Romania in Nuclear Bomb Found in Lasagna Shocker

Political tension and intrigue was at an all time high today when North Korea tested its new ICBM Nuclear Bomb off the coast of Pyongyang. Young leader and winner of FHM man of the year award, Kim Jog-ing stuck two fingers up to the Chinese and explo...
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Funny story: North Korea launches asteroid into space

North Korea launches asteroid into space

North Korea confirmed on Tuesday that it had conducted its third, long-threatened rock throwing competition and it clearly got out of hand, as Rubes News reports. The asteroid will fly by below our satellites causing new imprecisions on the alread...
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Funny story: William Shatner or Captain Kirk? Turns out he didn't know either

William Shatner or Captain Kirk? Turns out he didn't know either

'Trekkies' the world over can barely contain their excitement following a sensational find at a major Hollywood studio this week. Kirk's famous 'Captain's Log', it seems, was a real document. The studio has already released excerpts from the journal...
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Funny story: A List of Celebrity Valentine's Day Promises

A List of Celebrity Valentine's Day Promises

Saint Valentine's Day (Feb. 14) was named after Saint Valentinus, a resident of Naples, Italy, who worked as a wedding singer in his spare time. St. Val, as he was called by his family, is also credited with inventing greeting cards which sold like hot pizza and made him a millionaire several times over. The St. Valentine's Day heart-shaped symbol was created and designed by St. Val's girlfr...
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Funny story: Faux Pas as Iran ambassador is caught on video 'high-fiving' female German MP

Faux Pas as Iran ambassador is caught on video 'high-fiving' female German MP

Claudia Roth, the leader of the Germany Green Party and Iran's ambassador to Berlin were left stretching for explanations after video footage emerged of the two apparently "high-fiving" each other at a conference. Claudia Roth has been a frequent...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Apologizes To President Obama For Smoking Pot

Justin Bieber Apologizes To President Obama For Smoking Pot

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House recently received a certified letter addressed to President Obama. White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax informed the White House press corps that the letter was from Justin Bieber, the singer. In the 193-wor...
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Funny story: Adele Gave Chris Brown A Piece of Her Mind

Adele Gave Chris Brown A Piece of Her Mind

LOS ANGELES - English singer Adele Laurie Blue Adkins, who professionally simply goes by the name Adele, says that she really enjoyed the 55th Annual Grammy Award Show. She quickly added except for one thing. Adele told Carolina Chipotle with Bedr...
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