Funny story: Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson Go Screaming, Fleeing House

Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson Go Screaming, Fleeing House

Rob Pattinson had just taken Kristen Stewart over the weekend to see a foreign film with subtitles, that was a horror movie. "I had never seen one of those", stated Pattinson, "and didn't expect much but I was very much surprised by the guy who pr...
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Funny story: Walmart to Hold Tent Sale for Homeless Employees

Walmart to Hold Tent Sale for Homeless Employees

Bentonville, AR Walmart announced today it will hold a special sale in a HEATED tent for their homeless employees. "There will be lots of great sales on items that homeless people need, like shopping carts and sleeping bags. And because they ar...
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Funny story: McDonald's To Offer A Special Promotional Burger - The McMandelaburger

McDonald's To Offer A Special Promotional Burger - The McMandelaburger

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The largest fast food franchise in the world has just let its customers know that it will soon be putting out a special limited promotional burger in honor of Nelson Mandela. Nancy Zabaletta spokesperson for the fast food cha...
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Funny story: NASA Is Considering Renaming The Land Rover Curiosity, The Nelson Mandela Land Rover

NASA Is Considering Renaming The Land Rover Curiosity, The Nelson Mandela Land Rover

HOUSTON - NASA Spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb has just informed the various news organizations that due to public opinion NASA will be considering renaming the Martian land rover Curiosity in honor of Nelson Mandela. Timmelfarb said that President...
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Funny story: Iceland To Name Its New Aircraft Carrier In Honor Of Nelson Mandela

Iceland To Name Its New Aircraft Carrier In Honor Of Nelson Mandela

REYKJAVIK, Iceland - Iceland has just announced that it will be naming its brand new state-of-the-art aircraft carrier in honor of South African President Nelson Mandela. A spokesperson for the Icelandic government stated that originally the aircr...
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Funny story: Medium and Spirit Guide fail to foresee car crash

Medium and Spirit Guide fail to foresee car crash

An 81-year-old TV psychic has been charged with careless driving following a car crash in Merseyside. Derek Acorker, widely known as a Fakir type of medium similar to Indian Fakirs was driving an old American Ghostbusters type white Estate car and...
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Funny story: The United Nations Wants To Inspect North Korea's Meth Lab - Kim Jong Un Replies "No! No! And Hell No!"

The United Nations Wants To Inspect North Korea's Meth Lab - Kim Jong Un Replies "No! No! And Hell No!"

NEW YORK CITY - Word coming out of the United Nations is that the world organization is not happy with the news that the government of North Korea has opened up the largest meth lab in the world without having had it inspected by UN inspectors first.
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Funny story: Backward-Walking Politician has Limited Use of Political Platitudes

Backward-Walking Politician has Limited Use of Political Platitudes

Dateline: WASHINGTON-Due to a rare neurological disorder, Rupert Farfenoogle can walk only backwards. He can't face backwards, so he uses a system of rearview mirrors strapped around his upper arms to see where he's walking. From a young age,...
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Funny story: Torontonians fear Mayor Rob Ford's Scandals make their City too Interesting

Torontonians fear Mayor Rob Ford's Scandals make their City too Interesting

Dateline: TORONTO-Toronto's citizens are mortified by the world's mockery of their Mayor Rob Ford for his many scandals, such as his admitting to having smoked crack cocaine while in office, because they fear Toronto will lose its status as the world...
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Funny story: Tribal Antics of Canadian Question Period melt Face off of Skull

Tribal Antics of Canadian Question Period melt Face off of Skull

Dateline: OTTAWA-A study headed by Dr. Lawrence Dipplerdoo, medical researcher at McGill University, indicates that excessive exposure to Question Period at the Canadian House of Commons can be fatal. In an interview with RWUG Magazine, Dr. Dipplerdo...
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Funny story: Embittered Man Opens Shelter for Regretful Advertisers

Embittered Man Opens Shelter for Regretful Advertisers

Dateline: NEW YORK-Hugo "Sellout" Slickster, a recovering ex-advertiser, opened The Center for Alienated and Cynical Advertisers (CACA). Its mission is to provide support for advertisers who are withdrawn and embittered because their job forces them...
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Funny story: Toy Mandibles Empower Weak-Jawed Masses

Toy Mandibles Empower Weak-Jawed Masses

Dateline: LOS ANGELES-There's a hot new product that's flying off the shelves. It's called Gravitas Jaws and it consists of a crude plastic mandible bone that's worn over your lower jaw like a beard, except that this piece of plastic has the power to...
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Funny story: My Friend, You're Letting Your Wife Walk All Over You

My Friend, You're Letting Your Wife Walk All Over You

I know we don't know each other, but I can tell already who wears the pants in your house. Why, I just sidled up to your wife and made a clever remark and here she is talking to me like we've been best buds since college, and what are you doing? Nothing, just as I expected. Even the guy next to you sees what a little twerp you are. He's ignoring you just like your wife is. How does that make y...
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Funny story: Fears for U.S. Economy as Porn Industry droops again Resistance to Viaggro blamed

Fears for U.S. Economy as Porn Industry droops again Resistance to Viaggro blamed

The US porn industry is to shut down again after another artist tested positive for Erectile Dysfunction it has been revealed. The move has reignited the debate over the use of Viaggro in adult movies. Digby Drake, of industry trade group the Fre...
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Funny story: Customers Unsettled By Bank PR Campaigns

Customers Unsettled By Bank PR Campaigns

Customers of UK High Street Banks are increasingly reporting their unease about the recent trend for banks to demonstrate excessive goodwill and courtesy towards customers. 'I only dropped into Nat West to use the cashpoint,' said one customer. 'O...
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Funny story: George Osbourne suggests enslaving unemployed for servants to Tory MPs

George Osbourne suggests enslaving unemployed for servants to Tory MPs

To quell outrage at yesterday's ludicrous £7600 pay award to MPs, the Chancelry has said that as an alternative to this big wad of cash, they could secretly pick out a domestic slave from a Job Centre queue. The slave servants would be expected...
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Funny story: Pantomime dames on verge of extinction

Pantomime dames on verge of extinction

The International Listers of Animal Rarifications and Disappearances (ILARD) have added another species to their list of endangered animals - the pantomime dame. Once prolific throughout theatres and auditoria throughout Britain, the dame is now in a...
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Funny story: Cleaner spills coffee on keyboard, grounding every aircraft in U.K.

Cleaner spills coffee on keyboard, grounding every aircraft in U.K.

A cleaner, Ivan Kuppakoffikov brought the U.K's aircraft to a 48 hour halt yesterday. During a shift change at the centralised air traffic control portacabbin, Ivan dropped has coffee on the keyboard of Mustapha Tinkle, Chief controller. Planes w...
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Funny story: No Heaven?!? No Hell?!? No S@#%!!! - Oh Well, 2 Out Of 3 Ain't Bad No Matter How Far You Step In It

No Heaven?!? No Hell?!? No S@#%!!! - Oh Well, 2 Out Of 3 Ain't Bad No Matter How Far You Step In It

ALGONAC, MICHIGAN - As usual, Rev. Billy Dog Bobdog had plenty to tell his flock of perpetually attentive like-minded loyalists otherwise assembled, more or less, peaceably at Saturday night's flashlight lit services at the Divine Child Church of Rig...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber To Attend Harvard Next Fall To Study Political Science Under Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

Justin Bieber To Attend Harvard Next Fall To Study Political Science Under Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. - Famed juvenile delinquent and pop star, Justin Bieber, has decided to hang up his diapers in order to become a full time student at Harvard beginning next fall semester. While he laments the loss of income, Mr. Bieber believes the...
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Funny story: Monty Python Nix Plan For Qatar Stadium Show As It Looks Too Much Like A Vagina

Monty Python Nix Plan For Qatar Stadium Show As It Looks Too Much Like A Vagina

LONDON, UK - "Monty Python will not be doing a show in a building that looks like a vagina," stated producer, Eric Idle. It is thought that most of the troop had been warm to the idea, with the exception of John Cleese who is coming off his third div...
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Funny story: Orthodox Jews Can't Find Trump Tower Entrance - Dial 911

Orthodox Jews Can't Find Trump Tower Entrance - Dial 911

NEW YORK CITY, NY - A group of orthodox Jews from Israel, in town for an arms convention and the Letterman Show, ended up calling police as they couldn't find the entrance to the Trump Tower. When S.W.A.T arrived, they found the group furiously h...
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Funny story: The Taliban Running Low On Funds Plans To Have A Telethon

The Taliban Running Low On Funds Plans To Have A Telethon

KARACHI, Pakistan - A source within the Taliban organization has stated that the terrorist group is having some financial problems. The source expressed the fact that the reason is due to mismanagement which has resulted in overspending. An inv...
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Funny story: The #1 Ranked Florida State Seminoles Clobber The Duke Blue Devils 45-7

The #1 Ranked Florida State Seminoles Clobber The Duke Blue Devils 45-7

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - The Seminoles of Florida State went on the warpath as they crushed the Duke Blue Devils 45-7 in The Dr. Pepper ACC Football Championship Game. The Seminoles are still undefeated with a 13-0 record. The game had to be ha...
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Desperate To Get Married May Consult A Voodoo Woman

Jessica Simpson Desperate To Get Married May Consult A Voodoo Woman

HOLLYWOOD - Jessica Simpson is 33, and she has told some of her intimate friends that she has become extremely desperate to get married. Simpson recently met with Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle at a Giggling Guacamole Restaurant in Redond...
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Funny story: China Rejects NASA's $7 Billion Loan Request

China Rejects NASA's $7 Billion Loan Request

HOUSTON - NASA has just received word that the Republic of China has turned down their loan request. China's Foreign Minister Kong Hong Liebowitz gave NASA Spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb the bad news. Mr. Liebowitz stated that China regretted ha...
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Funny story: Michigan State Knocks Off #2 Ranked Ohio State To Capture The Big Ten Conference Championship And Head Out West To The Rose Bowl

Michigan State Knocks Off #2 Ranked Ohio State To Capture The Big Ten Conference Championship And Head Out West To The Rose Bowl

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana - The Ohio State Buckeyes got their butts handed to them by the Spartans in green from Michigan State 34-24. Michigan State was ranked #10, but they played like they were ranked #1. They clawed their way to victory turning th...
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Funny story: Arizona To Build A Mental Health Facility That Can House 30,000 Patients

Arizona To Build A Mental Health Facility That Can House 30,000 Patients

PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer has just made a much anticipated announcement from her governor's mansion in Phoenix. She told the assembled news media that plans have been finalized on a new 30,000 mental patient facility to be built just outside t...
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Funny story: Canada Tells Argentina That The Northwest Territories Are Not For Sale

Canada Tells Argentina That The Northwest Territories Are Not For Sale

OTTAWA - The Canadian government has sent President Fernando Ginobili of Argentina a message in regards to his request to purchase the Northwest Territories. President Ginobili (who is no relation to San Antonio Spurs guard Manu Ginobili) was than...
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Funny story: The #3 Ranked Auburn Tigers Beat The #5 Ranked Missouri Tigers And Are Now Headed For The National Championship Game

The #3 Ranked Auburn Tigers Beat The #5 Ranked Missouri Tigers And Are Now Headed For The National Championship Game

ATLANTA - The Auburn Tigers defeated The Missouri Tigers in the Georgia Dome to capture The Southeastern Conference Title. In what was called an old-fashioned shootout by Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine the Tigers of Auburn came ou...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Has Been Invited To Visit The White House

Lindsay Lohan Has Been Invited To Visit The White House

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The so called Tinsel Town Bad Girl, Lindsay Lohan has just stated that she has received an invitation to attend a White House dinner in honor of President Obama supporter and civilian adviser George Clooney. Lohan said that she wa...
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Funny story: The Baylor Bears Stomp The Texas Longhorns 30-10 In The Deep In The Heart of Texas Bowl

The Baylor Bears Stomp The Texas Longhorns 30-10 In The Deep In The Heart of Texas Bowl

WACO, Texas - If you are a Texas Longhorn fan the outcome of the Baylor - Texas game surely had you shaking your head and wondering what the hell? Well the Bears of Baylor who are ranked #9, kicked the Longhorns of Texas, who are ranked #25, all t...
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Funny story: Close Up Photos of Saturn Reveal What Appear To Be Motorcycle Tire Tracks

Close Up Photos of Saturn Reveal What Appear To Be Motorcycle Tire Tracks

HOUSTON - The National Aeronautics and Space Administration has just released some astounding information to the general public. NASA Spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb said that recent close up photos of Saturn have revealed what appear to be motorcyc...
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Funny story: The Oklahoma Sooners Upset The Oklahoma State Cowboys 33-24 To Capture The Battle of Oklahoma

The Oklahoma Sooners Upset The Oklahoma State Cowboys 33-24 To Capture The Battle of Oklahoma

STILLWATER, Oklahoma - The Sooners swooped into Cowboy country and when all the fussin' and fightin' was done the #17 ranked team from Oklahoma University had defeated the #5 ranked team from the University of Oklahoma State 33-24. The Oklahoma So...
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Funny story: After Death Of Mandela: Pope To 'Crank up the bass.'

After Death Of Mandela: Pope To 'Crank up the bass.'

'After paying tribute to Nelson Mandela, Pope Francis says it's time to, "crank up the bass and blow up a stereo."' A Vatican spokesperson. 'After Mandela's passing, I felt compelled to celebrate his life. So I instantly thought about subwoofe...
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Funny story: Warhol's $12million portrait of Farrah Fawcett 'is a forgery' O'Neal lawsuit told

Warhol's $12million portrait of Farrah Fawcett 'is a forgery' O'Neal lawsuit told

New York - The Charlie's Angels star always knew the painting was a cheap copy an expert art witness told a packed court hearing this Friday, "much like the, uh, subject matter herself, Your Honor." Valued at around $12million the portrait belongs...
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