Funny story: Bill O'Reilly Comes To Blows Over War On Christmas

Bill O'Reilly Comes To Blows Over War On Christmas

WASHINGTON -- For years, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly has been trying to save Christmas from all the pinheads who want to destroy the country by wishing people "Happy holidays." He has called the greeting "insulting to Christian America" and bemoaned...
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Funny story: Snakebite in the Wrong Place, or Watch Where You Sit

Snakebite in the Wrong Place, or Watch Where You Sit

Larry King of Montana experienced one of the most painful ailments that any man could wish for--or not wish for, depending on whether said man is a masochist. He experienced a snake-bit scrotum when he squatted down to relieve himself in the woods.
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Funny story: New Weapon in U.S. Arsenal in Fight Against Terror

New Weapon in U.S. Arsenal in Fight Against Terror

The states have begun to step up to the plate as the federal government continues to become less adept at fighting the war on terror. Colorado led the charge by legalizing marijuana for recreational use. This was followed by Washington state.
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Funny story: Al-Qaeda Apologizes for Deadly Attack on Hospital

Al-Qaeda Apologizes for Deadly Attack on Hospital

SANAA, YEMEN--A spokesman for al-Qaeda today apologized for a deadly attack on a hospital in Yemen that left dozens of the patients dead or injured. Said the spokesman, who remained anonymous, "We are so sorry for killing those innocent patients,...
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Funny story: Tom Brady: I May Be Greatest Quarterback Ever

Tom Brady: I May Be Greatest Quarterback Ever

In a modest statement from Tom Brady, he says he may well be the greatest ever at his NFL position. Most people think Brady is still upset at being fined $10,000 for kicking a Baltimore Ravens player. "These guys go beyond trying to defeat you...
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Funny story: Obama Girls Upset With Dad Over Denmark P.M.

Obama Girls Upset With Dad Over Denmark P.M.

It has become obvious that President Obama's daughters, Sasha and Malia, are taking their mother's side over the recent events at the Memorial for Mandela in Africa. According to those close enough to hear, the girls are pretty upset. "He told...
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Funny story: Customers Frustrated With Sizing of Clothing

Customers Frustrated With Sizing of Clothing

And the debate goes on: Are clothes getting smaller, or are we as a population getting bigger? Experts from several industries met at the Hotel Louisville. As they gorged on crab cakes, steamboat roast beef, potatoes, chili, green bean casserole,...
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Funny story: American Psychiatric Association Regrets Latest Update on their DSM

American Psychiatric Association Regrets Latest Update on their DSM

The Diagnostic Statistical Manual, or DSM, has served psychiatrists the world over with advise on how to diagnose the patient sitting in their office. However, success in diagnosing the harried, the quirky, the quiet, the quitter, and the trollop hav...
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Funny story: Mama Kardashian Bemoans a Slow News Week

Mama Kardashian Bemoans a Slow News Week

"Those Duck Dynasty guys have ruined my week! We haven't had one news item on TV, online, or in print in an entire seven days!" Kris Kardashian complained to her daughter Kim and North West's baby-daddy Kanye West. "Mom, these Duck guys are done. They're cooked. Just like a cooked goose," Kim said. "Yeah, I don't think they'll be entering the hip-hop scene anytime soon," Kenye snipped. "Unle...
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Funny story: "Assholism" Proposed as New Personality Disorder

"Assholism" Proposed as New Personality Disorder

The American Pyschological Association (APA) is formally considering adding "assholism" as an official personality disorder to the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, as announced by a leading psychiatrist, who...
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Funny story: Pussy Riot freed!

Pussy Riot freed!

After being slammed in a Russian slammer for not causing a riot, Pussy Riot have been let loose because Putin needs the Winter Olympics to be clean, non-corrupt and a sign to the world that Russia is a modern-day democracy run by a dictator. The a...
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Funny story: White Christmas Dream Comes True after Flour Truck Overturns

White Christmas Dream Comes True after Flour Truck Overturns

A truck carrying sacks of flour overturned on the I-64 ramp as it exits onto I-65. It spilled its load onto the highway below, and the high winds that blew east south east served to spread the snowy white holiday cheer. Several lanes of traffic were...
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Funny story: "Worst Congress" flees into desert following speeches and banquet at annual celebration

"Worst Congress" flees into desert following speeches and banquet at annual celebration

Yesterday, with a nine percent approval rating as the "worst Congress in history," current members proceeded to their annual celebration somewhere in the Arizona desert. All did not end well, however, as Senator Reid explained, staring gravely int...
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Funny story: Why is North Pole, Inc. Changing Their Business?

Why is North Pole, Inc. Changing Their Business?

Major events at North Pole, Inc. are driving speculation about stability at the company. Over the last week, the company has made layoff announcements, had visits from government and business leaders, and met with Sara Palin (see "Sara Palin Visits Santa Claus"). Last week, the stock price fell 8% on fears of that Santa Claus, CEO of North Pole, Inc, cannot do the belt-tightening needed to keep...
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Funny story: Sara Palin Visits Santa Claus

Sara Palin Visits Santa Claus

During an interview publicizing her Christmas book, Sara Palin discussed her trade mission to the North Pole, Inc.'s headquarters. She said, "I can see the reindeer barn from my backyard. Since the best part of Christmas is the gift giving, I wanted...
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Funny story: Adele pulls out of Roman Abramovich lavish $10million New Year's Eve bash

Adele pulls out of Roman Abramovich lavish $10million New Year's Eve bash

St Bart's, Caribbean - "She doesn't need fashion advice from someone named after one of Santa's bloody reindeer!" is how singer Adele's PR put it today following remarks by Russian mobster Roman Abramovich's current live-in squeeze Dasha Zhukova.
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Funny story: The Arizona Cardinals Upset The Seattle Seahawks 17-10

The Arizona Cardinals Upset The Seattle Seahawks 17-10

SEATTLE - The crowd at CenturyLink Field in Seattle was not a happy one as the final seconds tipped off and their Seattle Seahawks lost to the Arizona Cardinals 17-10. The Seahawks record now stands at 12-3, but as Seattle wide receiver Golden Tat...
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Funny story: Maksim Chmerkovskiy of Dancing With The Stars Dances Out of Swimsuit Model Kate Upton's Life

Maksim Chmerkovskiy of Dancing With The Stars Dances Out of Swimsuit Model Kate Upton's Life

LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that the fairy tale romance between the dancing man and the bikini babe has hit the end of the romantic road. Hollywood Innuendo is reporting that Maksim Chmerkovskiy proved to be too much of a jealous boyfriend for t...
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Funny story: NASA Sound Equipment Picks Up Snake Hissing Sounds On Jupiter

NASA Sound Equipment Picks Up Snake Hissing Sounds On Jupiter

HOUSTON - NASA is reporting that some extremely high tech sound equipment that it sent up to the planet Jupiter in April of 2009, has picked up what appears to be a snake hissing sound. Several of NASA's expert scientists have gotten together with...
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Funny story: Selena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Is The Reason She Cancelled Her Australian Concert Tour

Selena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Is The Reason She Cancelled Her Australian Concert Tour

BEVERLY HILLS - Selena Gomez, who is 21, has just announced that she has decided to cancel her upcoming tour of Australia. The former Disney star who appeared in the hit show The Wizards of Waverly Place talked to Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywo...
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Funny story: Kobe Bryant Hurt Again - Out For At Least 6 Weeks

Kobe Bryant Hurt Again - Out For At Least 6 Weeks

LOS ANGELES - There is no joy in LakerLand as their super star Kobe Brayant has once again gotten hurt. This time he received a fracture of his lateral tibial plateau as well as some bruising to his tongue. The injury is not a good one for a 25...
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Funny story: McDonald's To Introduce The McRibeyeburger In Order To Attract Richer Customers

McDonald's To Introduce The McRibeyeburger In Order To Attract Richer Customers

OAK BROOK, Illinois - McDonald's the fast food franchise that brought you the McEnchiladas and the McSushi has just developed another in a line of extraordinary menu items. Company Spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta stated that for the past seven months...
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Funny story: Megyn Kelly Addresses The Porn Movie Rumors

Megyn Kelly Addresses The Porn Movie Rumors

NEW YORK CITY - Santa Claus expert Megyn Kelly appeared on Live With Kelly and Michael. Michael (Strahan) asked her if she had any idea that the arrogant comment she made about Santa being white would have backfired on her the way that it did.
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Funny story: Chelsea Handler Says If Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Wasn't Married She'd Be All Over Him Like Mustard On A Hot Dog Wiener

Chelsea Handler Says If Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Wasn't Married She'd Be All Over Him Like Mustard On A Hot Dog Wiener

LOS ANGELES - The host of Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler has reportedly told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that she loves a man with a big beard like the one Phil Robertson has. Handler, who has a reputation of getting around in the hok...
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Funny story: NASCAR's Danica Patrick Admits She's As Happy As A Gopher In Soft Dirt

NASCAR's Danica Patrick Admits She's As Happy As A Gopher In Soft Dirt

NEW YORK CITY - NASCAR driver Danica Patrick was in the Big Apple doing some last minute Christmas shopping. She was approached by Taffeta Kixx with The Gossipette Gazette who asked her how she'd been feeling lately. Danica responded by saying...
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Funny story: Megyn Kelly Contemplating Running For The U.S. Senate

Megyn Kelly Contemplating Running For The U.S. Senate

NEW YORK CITY - Megyn Kelly, host of the FOX News program The Kelly File has dropped a hint to an unnamed source at FOX that she is seriously thinking about running for the U.S. Senate from New York. Kelly stirred up a hornets nest when she recent...
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Funny story: Toxic Cloud Release After Epic Taco Eating Contest

Toxic Cloud Release After Epic Taco Eating Contest

A noxious cloud of methane laced bowel gas was released in Louisville during business hours.It appears that a greenish brown cloud wafted out of the Burritos as Big As Your Head restaurant and into a nearby clothing store, sources at the scene say.
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Funny story: Walmart Admits Food Drive Was Simply Misplaced Compassion

Walmart Admits Food Drive Was Simply Misplaced Compassion

Walmart issued a rare apology today for the tasteless advertisement that claimed its workers were so needy that they could use donations from its customers in the United States. The Bentonville, Arkansas based company which advertises better li...
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Funny story: Local Businessman Lost His Yacht: He Simply Forgot Where He Put It

Local Businessman Lost His Yacht: He Simply Forgot Where He Put It

We often misplace things. Keys, wallets, even briefcases and laptops have gone missing simply by misplacing them temporarily. And this Louisville man, whose favorite gifts at Christmas is a bottle of Makers, or tequila. He misplaces things, too. A lo...
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Funny story: Epic Battle With Transmission Pan Gets Nearly Out of Hand

Epic Battle With Transmission Pan Gets Nearly Out of Hand

One unlucky Louisville man nearly found himself regretting the day he bought that cheap Mustang from an area dealership. It all started when he ordered a transmission pan from a retailer. The pan arrived without incident, and his troubles did...
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