Funny story: Auntie Jean advises Mr. Completely whose arse is superglued to a toilet seat in McDonalds

Auntie Jean advises Mr. Completely whose arse is superglued to a toilet seat in McDonalds

Mr. Completely asks: Dear Auntie Jean, I am trapped in a McDonalds toilet in Liverpool with my arse well and truly superglued to the porcelain W.C. Someone spread the glue all over the W.C. and like a fool I just sat down on it. I am permanently welded to the toilet bowl now and what's worse is that there's no door on the cubicle and I nipped into the women's loo as the men's was full.
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Funny story: Real Reason Miley Cyrus Acting Strange

Real Reason Miley Cyrus Acting Strange

So what happened less than a year ago to Miley Cyrus to turn her into acting like a kid wanting to show off some goodies she just realized were very important as an adult? Psychiatrist Doctor Art Manning told us that this often happens with stars...
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Funny story: Most Stolen Item in America?

Most Stolen Item in America?

You'll have to guess several times as this writer gave it my beat shot! Believe it or not, it's hogs. I know you're thinking why so many hogs? Well, for one thing, an average sized hog can bring you $250 if you already have a customer ready to sl...
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Funny story: Twas the Night Before Congress (with apologies to Clement Moore)

Twas the Night Before Congress (with apologies to Clement Moore)

Twas the night before Congress, and all through the House Not a creature was stirring, except for some louse Who took down the stockings hung by the chimney with care In hopes that a square meal might soon be there. Poor children were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of breakfast danced in their heads. Their mom in her work clothes, and dad with no job Looked long at their chi...
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Funny story: Gay Couple Fight Over Viagra!

Gay Couple Fight Over Viagra!

"I know what the problem is", Granger told his wife, Henry. "We were all lovey dovey until the marriage then you just got used to me so now you have to take a Viagra pill every night!" Of course, Henry stated that it was because of all the medicat...
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Funny story: Nissan to enter Tour De France with Electric Bikes

Nissan to enter Tour De France with Electric Bikes

After Nissan's recent announcement that it would enter the Le Mans 24 hour motor race in 2015 if it is allowed to build a car outside of the rules that everyone else must abide by, it appears that they have also turned their sights on The Tour de Fra...
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Funny story: Before His Death, Actor Peter O'Toole Admitted He Couldn't Face Another Christmas Watching Lawrence Of Arabia Repeats

Before His Death, Actor Peter O'Toole Admitted He Couldn't Face Another Christmas Watching Lawrence Of Arabia Repeats

LONDON, UK - Actor Peter O'Toole admitted that he'd go mad if he had to face another Christmas watching himself in Lawrence of Arabia. "Open presents, Christmas dinner, then sit down and find the only thing on tele is Lawrence of Arabia. What kin...
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Funny story: Dogging: Britain's Dirty Secret. A Spoof Exclusive

Dogging: Britain's Dirty Secret. A Spoof Exclusive

An undercover investigation by our correspondents Paxton Quigley and Ivana Orgasmovich. Paxton writes from Balham: They say that only mugs volunteer and when the editor came into the newsroom looking for a volunteer for an undercover investigation suddenly everybody appeared to be extremely busy. I was the one who wasn't fast enough to come up with a plausible excuse for not undertaking the as...
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Funny story: Mayor Rob Ford Exposed As Jamaican Rastafarian Drug Kingpin At City Hall Christmas Party

Mayor Rob Ford Exposed As Jamaican Rastafarian Drug Kingpin At City Hall Christmas Party

TORONTO, Canada - Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto, was exposed by undercover detectives as a Jamaican drug kingpin who was thought to have died in a narc plane crash several years ago. The discovery was unhatched during a Christmas party at City Hall whic...
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Funny story: The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 2, Roy's Whinge

The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 2, Roy's Whinge

So, "England supremo" Roy Hodgson says playing a World Cup match in Manaus is "not ideal", but he does accept that games must be spread around Brazil. What a moaner, apparently temperatures there reach 30C, while humidity is about 80% so he thinks t...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Going Bald?

Justin Bieber Going Bald?

A Google Street View has been blown up and it confirms a recent rumor being passed around that no fan wanted to be true. Justin Bieber is going bald. The video shows Bieber with an unknown lady walking by and wearing a cap when a puff of wind blew...
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Funny story: Nothing exciting found by physicists

Nothing exciting found by physicists

Disappointments such as the Higgs Boson particle which doesn't do anything at all and dark matter which you can't see, are causing dwindling numbers of young people to choose Physics at school and major in it at college. "The days when lasers were...
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Funny story: Gibraltar is a meteorite - massive diamond deposits found in kimberlite 500 feet underneath the U.K. territory

Gibraltar is a meteorite - massive diamond deposits found in kimberlite 500 feet underneath the U.K. territory

The meteorite responsible for killing all the dinosaurs may be set to upset the world's diamond markets. Geologists have drilled 1000 feet underneath the British Rock of Gibraltar and found out that it is a whole meteorite which smashed into the eart...
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Funny story: Costa del Sol Criminals pay for Christ the Redeemer Ronnie Biggs mountain memorial

Costa del Sol Criminals pay for Christ the Redeemer Ronnie Biggs mountain memorial

The late Great Train Robber, Ronnie Biggs is to be given a 200 metre high "Christ the Redeemer" type gold memorial statue on a mountain in the Costa del Sol. It will be funded by tabloid newspapers, train robbers and paparazi. Biggs who has topped...
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Funny story: Walmart Removes All of Their Megyn Kelly Bobblehead Dolls From Their Shelves

Walmart Removes All of Their Megyn Kelly Bobblehead Dolls From Their Shelves

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - Walmart, the largest retail chain in the entire world, has just made it known that it does not take kindly to anyone attacking the sanctity of Christmas or Santa Claus. Walmart spokeswoman Kimberley Silverlace stated that t...
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Funny story: Idaho Announces That Eating Potato Chips Actually Helps To Lose Weight

Idaho Announces That Eating Potato Chips Actually Helps To Lose Weight

POCATELLO, Idaho - The Idaho State Department of Food Commodities has just reported that eating potato chips can help an individual lose weight. Sharon "Cookie" Buttonbush, 52, with the ISDFC stated that research scientists have just discovered th...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un Invites Megyn Kelly To Visit North Korea And View His Collection of Missiles

Kim Jong Un Invites Megyn Kelly To Visit North Korea And View His Collection of Missiles

PYONGYANG, North Korea - The Rice Paddy News Agency has reported that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has a crush on FOX News reporter Megyn Kelly. And they further state that Kim Jong Un has extended a personal invitation to the 43-year-old Kelly...
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Funny story: Megyn Kelly: Santa Claus Is White and The Tooth Fairy Is Gay

Megyn Kelly: Santa Claus Is White and The Tooth Fairy Is Gay

NEW YORK CITY - FOX talk show host Megyn Kelly is sticking to her (laser) guns and is still insisting that Santa Claus is white. Kelly, the blonde with the pixie hairdo, that really belongs on an 8-year-old girl, added that the tooth fairy is gay.
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Funny story: Mississippi Names McDonald's Big Mac As The Official State Food

Mississippi Names McDonald's Big Mac As The Official State Food

JACKSON, Mississippi - The state of Mississippi is proud to disclose that it has just passed a vote in the Mississippi State Senate making The McDonald's Big Mac the official state food. Senator Roy LeRoy Witchboro [R-Pascagoula] commented that th...
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Funny story: The KKK Says They're Proud of Megyn Kelly

The KKK Says They're Proud of Megyn Kelly

TUCSON, Arizona - Megyn Kelly has managed to knock Obamacare, the Indiana Pacers, and The Tea Bag Party Christmas Party Fund Scandal off of the front page. The 43-year-old talking head with FOX News has stirred up a holiday hornets nest with her c...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Says Megyn Kelly Makes Ebenezer Scrooge Seem Like Mother Teresa

Miley Cyrus Says Megyn Kelly Makes Ebenezer Scrooge Seem Like Mother Teresa

HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus has stated that FOX News reporter Megyn Kelly needs to grow a pair and apologize to the American people for making her ignorant remark about jolly old St. Nick being white. The former Hannah Montana star told Hollywood Innu...
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Funny story: Governor Chris Christie Says He'll Run In 2016 And He'll Kick Sarah Palin's Puss All The Way Back To Alaska

Governor Chris Christie Says He'll Run In 2016 And He'll Kick Sarah Palin's Puss All The Way Back To Alaska

PARAMUS, New Jersey - Governor Chris Christie has made it perfectly clear that he wants to be the Republican presidential nominee in 2016. The popular New Jersey governor recently sat down with Amos Soursuckle of GOPicky Magazine at a local Burger...
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Funny story: President Obama Wants Megyn Kelly Investigated For UnAmerican Comments

President Obama Wants Megyn Kelly Investigated For UnAmerican Comments

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Well it appears that the FOX News talking head, Megyn Kelly, AKA Blondie, may have stuck her size 9½ high heel in her pretty little mouth. Those comments came from Savannah Bamboo, a reporter with Political Salad Bar Magazine.
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Funny story: Tensions Rising Between Smart Phones and Users; Autocorrect Cited as Problem

Tensions Rising Between Smart Phones and Users; Autocorrect Cited as Problem

A new poll taken by the Pew Research Center has shown growing distrust between Smart Phones and the people who use them. Among the 10,000 users surveyed, 7,843 (more than 78%) said that they trust their phone less than half of the time, often checkin...
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Funny story: Is The Guilt Chip® Right For You?

Is The Guilt Chip® Right For You?

If you're a mother like me, you have always hoped that you can instill strong self-confidence, a sense of security and an innate feeling of guilt in your child. There were nights I went to check on my son in his crib, watching him sleep and worrying that he would grow up to be someone who didn't feel guilty for the 18 hours of labor he had put me through. That wasn't something I worried about afte...
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