Funny story: New explanation for the Pennines

New explanation for the Pennines

A controversial new theory has been unveiled to provide a new reason for the Pennines, the range of hills in the UK that are home to - at any one time - three thousand lost ramblers. The mainstream theory is that Scotland banged into England, and...
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Funny story: Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry Console Each Other

Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry Console Each Other

LOS ANGELES - Katy Perry and Rob Pattinson both know how horrible the ending of a Tinsel Town relationship can be. Both celebrities have riches, fame, material things, and the adulation of millions of their fans but both are as they say in Paramus...
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Funny story: Swarming mosquitoes threaten Saturday's Last Night of the Proms in Hyde Park

Swarming mosquitoes threaten Saturday's Last Night of the Proms in Hyde Park

London - Millions of mosquito larvae in the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain have suddenly hatched in the glorious September sunshine like a colony of Pthirus pubis - pubic crab lice - on the Old Queen Mum's snatch. This morning a swarm of the lit...
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Funny story: Location of third Heathrow runway revealed

Location of third Heathrow runway revealed

Leaked news from Balls House, headquarters of the Labour Party, has revealed Mr Milliband's preferred outcome of the airport review project. In an attempt to court support from all parties the Leader of the Opposition (sic) has asked his advisers to...
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Funny story: Judge Not Too Dredd Like

Judge Not Too Dredd Like

The Great British justice system has done it again; a man has been spared jail after burgling three houses in five days. Justice Bowers listened to how the "poor lamb" had developed a heroin problem and was merely stealing so he didn't have to work a...
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Funny story: 101 Non-Emergency Number To Be Scrapped

101 Non-Emergency Number To Be Scrapped

Following literally some consultation the UK Home Office has decided to scrap the Single Non-Emergency Number (SNEN). Introduced in 2006 by the last Labour government, the public, who are notoriously idiotic found it virtually impossible to decide...
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Funny story: Candy Corn-Fed Cows Are Much More Hyper

Candy Corn-Fed Cows Are Much More Hyper

PADUCAH, Kentucky - Atticus Grumpletoy, 71, owner of The Hoot & Holler Cattle Ranch located on the Kentucky-Illinois border recently stated that he has been feeding his 2,000 head of cattle candy corn since the first week in August. Grumpletoy...
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Funny story: UK's Last Mackeson Well Runs Dry

UK's Last Mackeson Well Runs Dry

Britain's last remaining Mackeson well, located in Stepney, East London has finally run dry after 105 years of production. Mackeson, a sweet milk stout, is probably best known for the TV catchphrase: 'It looks good. It tastes good. And by golly it...
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Funny story: Clinton 'knew Monica Lewinsky is ex-Italian PM's Silvio Berlusconi's daughter' says D 'N' C consultant

Clinton 'knew Monica Lewinsky is ex-Italian PM's Silvio Berlusconi's daughter' says D 'N' C consultant

Washington - A top makeover consultant hired by successive Administrations has revealed what NATO geneticists have always suspected, that former President Bill Clinton 'was 100% aware' of Monica's Italian bloodline. Dilation and curettage [D-'n'-C...
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Funny story: Usain Bolt to turn out for United against Celtic

Usain Bolt to turn out for United against Celtic

Usain Bolt, the fastest man on two legs, asked Sir Alex Ferguson if he could play for Manchester United, and the dour Scot has agreed to let him trial at an upcoming friendly. "I know he can run," said Sir Fergie. "I saw him in the Olympics. But c...
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Funny story: Reshuffled cabinet members named

Reshuffled cabinet members named

Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced the new members of his cabinet. Out go the old, and in come the, er, old, into jobs they know nothing about, mainly to afford them a substantial increase in salary and pension contributions between now...
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Funny story: Patriots Sign Hoomanawanui After Considering Kafka

Patriots Sign Hoomanawanui After Considering Kafka

If Bill Belichick believes in any philosophy, it must be surrealism. Unlike Bobby Valentine who lives a surreal professional life in the Red Sox dugout, Bill keeps his humor in tact by driving writers and media people into fits of madness. Whe...
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Funny story: Valentine Receives Press Briefing Advice from Bill Belichick

Valentine Receives Press Briefing Advice from Bill Belichick

Bobby Valentine called Bill Belichick for advice on holding press conferences. As the master of dyspeptic answers, Belichick is well-known for putting his press followers to bed before the latest edition. Advice from the Patriot head coach came a...
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Funny story: Cabinet Reshuffle sees Justice Minister Ken Clarke replaced by Judge Dredd

Cabinet Reshuffle sees Justice Minister Ken Clarke replaced by Judge Dredd

Perhaps the biggest surprise of the Prime Minister's Cabinet reshuffle on Tuesday was the replacement of veteran MP Ken Clarke with ruthless law enforcer Judge Dredd. Sources close to David Cameron say Clarke's approach to the Justice Minister rol...
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Funny story: U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech

U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech

A bill explicitly stating that citizens will be allocated 1 second of free speech for every $10,000 of pre-taxable income they earn per year has made its way through the Senate subcommittee process. The following is a transcript of the final hearing. 2012 A BILL TO CODIFY, GUARD, AND BOLSTER FREE SPEECH RIGHTS IN THE UNITED STATES HEARING BEFORE THE SUBCOMMITTEE ON THE CONSTITUTION,...
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Funny story: U.S. Senate Bursts into Spontaneous Verse

U.S. Senate Bursts into Spontaneous Verse

The U.S. Senators gathered for today's floor debate unexpectedly and unintentionally broke out into verse in the middle of their proceedings. The following is the official Congressional transcript of what occurred. CONGRESSIONAL RECORD PROCEEDINGS AND DEBATES OF THE 112TH CONGRESS, SECOND SESSION WASHINGTON, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 2012 SENATE MORNING BUSINESS The Senate met at 10...
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Funny story: Is Kim Kardashian Pregnant With A Little Kanye?

Is Kim Kardashian Pregnant With A Little Kanye?

BEVERLY HILLS - The Tinsel Town hairdresser, who is known as the Hair Stylist to The Stars, FuFi Fondue has just dropped a bombshell. Fondue, who knows more about more Hollywood starlets than anyone else in LaLaLand stated to Fajita San Guacamole...
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Funny story: Jesus makes a surprise appearance at the Democratic National Convention

Jesus makes a surprise appearance at the Democratic National Convention

Jesus stunned politicians with a surprise appearance and a short speech at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, on Wednesday afternoon. He talked about how U.S. government and politicians have to rediscover true values...
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Funny story: U.S. House of Representatives Votes to Abolish Satire

U.S. House of Representatives Votes to Abolish Satire

The United States House of Representatives has recently conducted a bipartisan vote to abolish all forms of satire within the country in a move clearly designed to belie the widely held notion that Congress is the place where good ideas go to die. The following are transcripts from the subcommittee hearing and floor debate that led to the aforementioned vote. 2012 A BILL TO PROTECT THE INTEG...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Cristiano Ronaldo has rejected accusations he said he is "sad" at Real Madrid to get more money from the club. (BBC Sport) Its hair gel. He wants more hair gel. Trust my sources on this one Liverpool supporters' union Spirit Of Shankly has called on the club's American owners to appoint a chief executive based in the city. (ESPN) The problem is, if they did appoint a local CEO, they'd proba...
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Funny story: Local Woman Sells Husband For £1.99 Online

Local Woman Sells Husband For £1.99 Online

Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, long suffering wife of renowned idiot, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed that she has sold her intolerable other half for £1.99 online. In a statement issued to reporters, Anne Shuttlecock revealed that the final st...
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Funny story: Man Crashes Car into Food Stand at Airport Concourse

Man Crashes Car into Food Stand at Airport Concourse

A Miami, Florida man smashed his car into an Einstein Brothers food stand on the second floor concourse of the Miami International Airport while parallel parking between a set of stationary tables. Fortunately there were no casualties except for the...
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Funny story: Universe Held Together by Bozo Particle

Universe Held Together by Bozo Particle

The super-fast camera can show a bullet-shaped pulse of light travelling from one end of a laboratory flask to another in a fraction of a second. That might make interesting fodder for Boob-Tube videos,but now they are putting that very same super-fa...
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Funny story: Diplomacy at the US Department of State Takes a Bizarre Turn

Diplomacy at the US Department of State Takes a Bizarre Turn

Washington DC: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is away in Asia being mercilessly beaten up by Chinese officials during talks about Syria, Iran, North Korea and settling territorial disputes. While the cat's away, the mice will play! The US Dep...
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