Funny story: LA DA says 'Bieber too big a pussy to have hurt a guy in a fight last May'

LA DA says 'Bieber too big a pussy to have hurt a guy in a fight last May'

LOS ANGELES, California (ABSNN) - The LA County District Attorney's office declined to charge "tween star" Justine Bieber, 18, for a "fight" he had with a photographer last May. According to an Assistant District Attorney, "In all seriousness, we c...
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Funny story: Alien cloning factory found near US Ambassador's Residence

Alien cloning factory found near US Ambassador's Residence

London - "Looks like ET was planning on flooding the world with hundreds of General Petraeus lookalikes and Mitt Romney clones," the head of the UK Diplomatic Protection Racket Corps said today as the news broke, "we even found their original Paula...
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Funny story: OJ on ID documentary: 'Why hire a killer to do what I was willing to do myself?'

OJ on ID documentary: 'Why hire a killer to do what I was willing to do myself?'

NEVADA STATE PRISON (ABSNN) - O. J. Simpson refused all press requests (except ours, of course) to comment on tonight's Investigation Discovery documentary: "My Brother the Serial Killer," that claims Simpson hired a serial killer to break into his...
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Funny story: Doctors seek huge rise in ice in drinks

Doctors seek huge rise in ice in drinks

Leading British medical bodies, concerned about high levels of alcohol-related health problems, are calling for more ice to be used in drinks. An increase of 50 per cent more ice in an average glass of beverage bought in pubs and bars would reduc...
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Funny story: Local buses face axe

Local buses face axe

Big wide buses in Gateshead are being cut down in size to make way for cyclists. Massive Megabuses, popular with many obese bus passengers, have been knocking too many cyclists off their bikes. So Gateshead council have recommended that all these...
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Funny story: Zlatan Ibrahimovitch could still play for England

Zlatan Ibrahimovitch could still play for England

Football Association officials were keeping positive today when they announced that Swedish flavour of the month Zlatan Ibrahimovitch could still qualify to play for England, despite scoring four times against the Three Lions in an international frie...
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Funny story: Rafa Benitez guarantees Chelsea top four finish

Rafa Benitez guarantees Chelsea top four finish

Rafa Benitez was appointed interim Chelsea manager today following the dramatic sacking of Roberto De Matteo, who in six months as manager had won the FA Cup and Champions League double, but was replaced after a poor run which saw defeats to Manchest...
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Funny story: My life as a man #31

My life as a man #31

God damn you merry gentlemen! What I've learned in my 61 years is that if you spend too much time in the past, you get trapped there, especially if the past is all you have to get you through the day. I am as much a historian as anything I may be. But the past is the past. And while I admire those who plan well for their futures, I am also smart enough to know that a significant number of th...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney takes Job at Wal-Mart!

Mitt Romney takes Job at Wal-Mart!

You can't stop this guy. After parleying the biggest chunk of cash ever spent on a presidential election into a losing lottery ticket, Mr. Romney has powerballed his way into the Kalamazoo, MI, Wal-Mart to spend his Thursday nite paving the way...
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Funny story: Downtrodden Obama "Accidentally" Puts Himself on Kill List

Downtrodden Obama "Accidentally" Puts Himself on Kill List

In a shocking Wikileaks disclosure, it was revealed late last night that President Obama, who the New York Times reported maintains a "kill list" of persons targeted for assassination, recently put himself on the kill list - by accident. Or was it...
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Funny story: Black Ops Friday

Black Ops Friday

Black Friday is about to get a whole lot darker and uglier. Ex-marine Lieutenant John "Take-em'-out" Maverick is training a group of shoppers in hand-to-hand shopping techniques in expectation of the annual bloodbath that is Black Friday. The shop...
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Funny story: Queen Sedated After Massive Fire On Her Island of Jersey!

Queen Sedated After Massive Fire On Her Island of Jersey!

A massive fire on the Channel island of Jersey last night has torn through the island's wasp breeding nest fields owned by the Queen destroying them all. The loss of what would have been an estimated 100 million fully fledged wasps ready for Her M...
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Funny story: San Franciso bans nekkidness--'All nekkidness'

San Franciso bans nekkidness--'All nekkidness'

SAN FRANCISCO, California (ABSNN) - The City Board of Supervisors of San Francisco voted 6-5 Tuesday to prohibit Bay Area residents ever again getting nekkid. Even showering in the nude is now a felony crime. "All forms of nekkidness is hereby and...
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Funny story: Rex Ryan Versus Bill Belichick: It's Only a Game

Rex Ryan Versus Bill Belichick: It's Only a Game

Rex Ryan did the unthinkable. He defended this week's opposing coach to media criticism. Hearing that Coach Bill Belichick was under withering attack for playing Rob Gronkowski in garbage minutes. When a star player is seriously injured during a g...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Melissa, Shawn, and Kelly Going To The Finals

Dancing With The Stars: Melissa, Shawn, and Kelly Going To The Finals

HOLLYWOOD - After nine weeks of intense competition on Dancing With The Stars, Tom Bergeron announced which three dancing teams of the original thirteen will be competing in the shows finals. The witty host stated that the Mirror Ball Trophy will...
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Funny story: Political Satirists Gather to Mourn the Loss of Romney Jokes

Political Satirists Gather to Mourn the Loss of Romney Jokes

Washington, DC - Satirical writers from around the country gathered in a candlelight vigil at the base of that big stone penisy thing, in the middle of Washington DC, to say goodbye to yet another Republican Presidential candidate that provided more...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy Deny The Baby Bump Rumors

Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy Deny The Baby Bump Rumors

HOLLYWOOD - During the 14 seasons that Dancing With The Stars has been on the air there has never been a dance couple who have become closer than Val Chmerkovskiy and Kelly Monaco. The very petite Kelly, who was named after the color; Kelly Green,...
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Funny story: Obama's Gaff during Concession Calls

Obama's Gaff during Concession Calls

Washington, DC - In the tradition of good sportsmanship, no matter how hard it may be for the losing candidates, it has become almost mandatory that the losing party phone the winning side, to concede the election results, usually by the time the fi...
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Funny story: Kirstie Alley's Tell-All Book Tells It All

Kirstie Alley's Tell-All Book Tells It All

BEVERLY HILLS - Kirstie Alley's new book certainly blows the lid off of her countless romantic interludes, relationships, affairs, and circus-like physical antics. The 61-year-old former star of Cheers and Dancing With The Stars states in her reve...
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Funny story: Christina Aguilera's Secret Email To Jessica Simpson

Christina Aguilera's Secret Email To Jessica Simpson

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Christina Aguilera of the Voice appeared on the American Music Award Show and it was no secret that she has put on a bit of poundage. Miss Aguilera does not try to hide the fact, especially since anyone can physically see it. H...
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Funny story: "Gangnam Style" Star Repeatedly Mistaken for Waiter at AMA's

"Gangnam Style" Star Repeatedly Mistaken for Waiter at AMA's

Los Angeles, CA - In his first (and probably last) trip to the American Music Awards on Sunday, Korean-Pop sensation Psy, had an experience that he'll never forget, even though, most in attendance will probably forget him. The Pop Star's first maj...
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Funny story: Spoof Exclusive! First Ever Interview With The Master Spy Of All- JAMES BOND!!!!!

Spoof Exclusive! First Ever Interview With The Master Spy Of All- JAMES BOND!!!!!

The Spoof has succeeded in scoring the first ever interview with that icon of masculinity and daring do, that virile epitome of super secret spydom, that name that causes gorgeous women's inner plumbing to contract in excited anticipation, the one, the only, JAMES BOND, British Agent Number 007, who has a license to kill and to thrill. We tracked Mr. Bond to his latest dwelling, the M.Z. Mone...
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