Funny story: Woody Allen Propositions Lindsay Lohan With Contract She Can't Refuse - Adopting Her Rather Than Giving Her the Hoped for Movie Contract

Woody Allen Propositions Lindsay Lohan With Contract She Can't Refuse - Adopting Her Rather Than Giving Her the Hoped for Movie Contract

Oscar-winning writer and director, Woody Allen held talks last night with Lindsay Lohan, after she posted a twitter post asking for advice about her forthcoming film Liz and Dick, which looks at the life of Elizabeth Taylor. However US news editors t...
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Funny story: Racing: a mouldy Gray Pearl and the equine Pearly Gates

Racing: a mouldy Gray Pearl and the equine Pearly Gates

Newmarket - The mysterious owner of a filly that died at Newmarket's starting stalls rejoices in the name of Mr H R Mould. This afternoon Gray Pearl, the jewel in his crown of Thousand Guineas aspirations, was tragically struck down on the Rowley...
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Funny story: Holland Wins French Presidency

Holland Wins French Presidency

The people of France have spoken, in French, to send a stark message to their political parties by choosing another country to rule over them. In a remarkable turn of events, the country of Holland will assume the French presidency after defeatin...
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Funny story: The Dallas Mavericks Gets Swept Out Of The Playoffs By The Oklahoma City Thunder - Mavs Owner Mark Cuban Blames It On The "Kardashian Curse"

The Dallas Mavericks Gets Swept Out Of The Playoffs By The Oklahoma City Thunder - Mavs Owner Mark Cuban Blames It On The "Kardashian Curse"

DALLAS - Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban will soon hear a knock on the door of his ultra luxurious office and it will be representatives from the NBA who will be picking up The Larry O'Brien Championship Trophy. The Dallas Mavericks who stood at...
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Funny story: Death stalks the Kentucky Derby

Death stalks the Kentucky Derby

Kentucky - The discovery of an unidentified body in a barn close to the Churchill Downs track yesterday is sparking fears of a racing death hex. Police sources said the remains of a male were discovered in Lousiville trainer Angel Montano Senior'...
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Funny story: Comics That Got Away

Comics That Got Away

The Predictable Hulk. Bruce Banner: "Don't make me angry, Mr Kelly, you... Kelly: "Yeah... I know...I wouldn't like you when you're angry. Jeez - Do you ever give it a rest?" *** The Flasher Barry Allen and Iris West (who is unaware of Barry's secret alter ego, The Flash) have been to the movies and are walking home... "... Oh Barry! Not again! Do put it away, please!" ***...
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Funny story: Madonna Spotted Having Dinner with New Toy Boy Lover, Dictator Kim Jong-Un in Pyongyang - Fox News Calls Her Traitor

Madonna Spotted Having Dinner with New Toy Boy Lover, Dictator Kim Jong-Un in Pyongyang - Fox News Calls Her Traitor

Despite nearing 54, Madonna shows no sign of tiring of her toy boy fixation. Pictures have merged of Madonna enjoying a late night dinner with Kim Jon Un, the 29 year old chubby leader of North Korea, in the capital. According to celebrity gossip si...
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Funny story: Bruce Springsteen Gave Me A Guitar.

Bruce Springsteen Gave Me A Guitar.

So it dawns on me that, of course, the guitar must have been from Bruce. Springsteen. I'm not sure how I know… but I remember as we - I can't discern who's with me - approach the gig. It's like a large village hall with a balcony - or one of those non-conformist churches, but I can see no religious stuff. Anyway, we take seats on the floor to one side, under the balcony, thinking we won...
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Funny story: US Armed Services Endorse PTSD Name Change

US Armed Services Endorse PTSD Name Change

(Washington) It has been called shell shock, battle fatigue, soldier's heart and most recently, post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. Now, US military officers and psychiatrists are embroiled in a heated debate over whether to change the name of a...
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Funny story: The French Sabotage Olympics Through Excessive Farting - 2012 Events In Doubt and Europe on Verge of All Out War

The French Sabotage Olympics Through Excessive Farting - 2012 Events In Doubt and Europe on Verge of All Out War

The London 2012 Olympic events are in disarray, as the list of countries pulling out of the Olympics mounts - following fears of toxic level of French methane gas hovering over the capital - fearing for the safety of their sports stars and the air qu...
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Funny story: Legoland Windsor shut after bosses 'failed to pay electricity bill': report

Legoland Windsor shut after bosses 'failed to pay electricity bill': report

Berkshire - Officials said this morning a 'power failure' has closed the attraction [sic] due to a sub-station outage caused by recent local flooding. However a mystery phone caller to Radio Free Windsor claimed at lunchtime the theme park has fai...
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Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E: 6th May 2012

Selected Political News for W/E: 6th May 2012

Sunday 29th April 2012 Topic: Recession "David Cameron blames UK double-dip recession on eurozone" Source: The Guardian Extract David Cameron on Sunday held out the prospect of the UK economy being dragged down for years, as he predicted the euro crisis was "nowhere near half complete" and warned the single currency may yet break up. He also admitted efforts to move the UK economy away...
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Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 6th May 2012

My Senior Moments for W/E: 6th May 2012

Monday 30th April 2012 * Went over to see disabled mate Stewart and Margaret, his, appealing, sensuous, loin-activating carer. Stew was out at his Social Centre, but I had a gossip and cuddle with Margaret. (Phoar!) * Happily hobbled off to QMC for me INR Warfarin level blood test. Level still too high - got to go back again tomorrow. * Tuesday 1st May 2012 * Up and on computer ear...
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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E: 6th May 2012

Nottingham News for W/E: 6th May 2012

Sunday 29th April 2012 Topic: Development - Asda "Asda plans to regenerate derelict site in St Ann's, Nottingham" Source: BBC News Extract: Plans to build a supermarket and homes in a "run-down" area of Nottingham are to go on public display. Asda has earmarked a site on Carlton Road in St Ann's for the store, which it said could create 200 jobs. The company said the store, which...
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Funny story: Greater Manchester police free a teenage sex slave

Greater Manchester police free a teenage sex slave

Police in Greater Manchester raided a house in Levenshulme in the early hours of Saturday morning after neighbours reported that a teenage boy was being held captive by a gang of girls and used for sex. "It was constant," said neighbour, Gary Dory...
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Funny story: Spontaneous breast growth in a Cumbrian hotel

Spontaneous breast growth in a Cumbrian hotel

The Windermere Vista Hotel in the Lake District, Cumbria, is at the centre of a scientific investigation after it was discovered to be the centre of an outbreak of spontaneous boob growth. "People have been adding up to two cup sizes to their brea...
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Funny story: Dead leprechaun found at Fort Knox

Dead leprechaun found at Fort Knox

Fort Knox - The army reports a dead leprechaun was found in the vault at Fort Knox among the gold bars, according to Colonel Jimbob. The cause of death could not be determined, as leprechauns have never been captured, dead or alive before; their bi...
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Funny story: Clooney to marry at last

Clooney to marry at last

Hollywood, Los Angeles. In mind blowingly staggering news today, middle aged has-been George Clooney has proposed to decrepit 95 year old Hungarian legend Zsa Zsa Gabor. Many pundits claim that Clooney is seeking to lift his profile by marrying Gabor...
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Funny story: Rooks Droft Part one: What Zulu's?

Rooks Droft Part one: What Zulu's?

On the 22nd of January 1879 a company of Royal Logistics corps found its way to the Buffalo River on the boarder of the Natal Province and Zulu Kingdom. They had been filling in the shit pits at a camp in Isandlwana when a pride of lions had mistaken them for short legged Spruce Gazelles. Being British soldiers first and shit shovelers second, they did the honourable thing and legged it. "What...
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