Funny story: Extra shoulder pads hide that the Queen's a hunchback says royal couturier

Extra shoulder pads hide that the Queen's a hunchback says royal couturier

London - Nifty use of crafty shoulder pads conceals that 'Hunchback of Notre Dame' look that's plagued Queen Elizabeth ever since her wedding night back in '47. Apparently some nuptial gymnastics on a Buckingham Palace four poster dislocated her a...
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Funny story: The Film "Battleship" Sinks - Rihanna Is So Devastated It Is Affecting Her Singing Voice

The Film "Battleship" Sinks - Rihanna Is So Devastated It Is Affecting Her Singing Voice

HOLLYWOOD - There wasn't an iceberg in sight but the blockbuster alien invasion naval action flick has capsized. Luckily there were plenty of lifeboats on board and stars Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson, Kyle Kim Shimabukuro, Hyoe Joe Takaha...
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Funny story: Selena Gomez in shock as Charles names Kate Middleton 'Justin Bieber's birth mother'

Selena Gomez in shock as Charles names Kate Middleton 'Justin Bieber's birth mother'

Toronto, Canada - A chance remark by Prince Charles to Canadian riff raff on his Jubilee Tour this afternoon has backfired horribly. On a VIP Toronto walkabout he told Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty that he hoped doe-eyed Disney Channel beauty S...
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Funny story: Shylock Humes: and the case of the missing watch. Part One.

Shylock Humes: and the case of the missing watch. Part One.

Shylock Humes lay on the bed. The Briar burned slowly filling the room with the sweat aroma of brandy soaked tobacco. Silence engulfed him as his heavy eyelids began to close. "No smokin in ere mate" whispered a voice. "Oh, sorry" answered a startled Shylock. "Surgeons don't like it when they are operating" said a nurse. "What the hell is going here then"! Sir Spittle Spungion the surg...
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Funny story: Dorking man charged for dumping nuclear waste in wrong bin

Dorking man charged for dumping nuclear waste in wrong bin

A Dorking man, Rod Cooling, has been charged for using the wrong recycling bin for his nuclear waste. Cooling, who experiments with radioactive materials in his spare time, mistakenly put depleted uranium into his orange bin instead of the expected y...
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Funny story: Escaped Penguin Suspected of Pranking Tokyo Zoo

Escaped Penguin Suspected of Pranking Tokyo Zoo

The Humboldt Penguin whose daring escape from Tokyo's Sea Life Park in March, which shocked the world, is now suspected of pranking Tokyo Zoo. The Penguin, named Penguin No.13, who looks no different that Penguins 1-12, threw himself over a 13 foot...
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Funny story: Britain's last Teletext user now has it delivered

Britain's last Teletext user now has it delivered

2012 may not be the end of the whole world, but it was the final year that Teletext was broadcast in the UK. For those under thirty, Teletext was like the internet on a television, before there was internet on the television. Hundreds of pages of inf...
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Funny story: Storm in a "royal teacup" as UK tearoom owner ejects non-royalists!

Storm in a "royal teacup" as UK tearoom owner ejects non-royalists!

The tearoom owner of a UK royal tearoom was forced to eject 3 Oliver Cromwell followers frequenting her establishment because they refused to stand up when the national anthem was played. The tearoom owner plays her favourite song at 03.00 PM ever...
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Funny story: The Mitt Romney Lazy Boy Dog Kennel For Car Roofs

The Mitt Romney Lazy Boy Dog Kennel For Car Roofs

Paying homage to the Mitt Romney propensity to flip-flop, (placing luggage in a car and strapping the family dog to the roof of the car) the Lazy Boy Company has come out with a new design for dog kennels. "For extended family trips, the new Romn...
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Funny story: San Francisco to name street after Pelosi

San Francisco to name street after Pelosi

San Francisco Public Health Director Mike ("Stinky") Jones will rename a street after former-Speaker Nancy Pelosi today near San Francisco's solid waste transfer-station. "Pander Road" which connects Martin Luthjer King Jr. Drive and John F Kenned...
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Funny story: Mini named most inappropriately named car of the year

Mini named most inappropriately named car of the year

The Mini, the iconoclastic automobile has won another award to add to it's bulging trophy cabinet: most inappropriately named car of the year. "For a car called a Mini," said Jeremy Clarkson, co-presenter on BBC2's car magazine show, Top Gear!, "y...
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Funny story: John Travolta Remixes Single For Charity

John Travolta Remixes Single For Charity

Former Grease star John Travolta is rumoured to be in the process of re-releasing one of the most famous songs from the hit movie musical to raise money for his favourite charity 'Habbitat For Hunks'. The re-mixed version of the duet he sang with...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Blames Hurricane Alberto On President Obama

Rush Limbaugh Blames Hurricane Alberto On President Obama

WASHINGTON, D.C. - GOP radio talk show host and conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh, 61, and his much, much younger wife Kathryn, 35, recently attended a music concert at the District of Columbia's brand new Hail To The Chief Coliseum located on M...
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Funny story: Palmists study Rebekah Brooks' dabs

Palmists study Rebekah Brooks' dabs

London - Forensic chiromancists at the Met's digital fingerprinting division studying the Rebekah Brooks file have issued a statement about her simian crease. "It's a classic indicator of a non-fraternal twin," Professor Sir Moriarty Monkfish comm...
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Funny story: Obama Stooge Teachers Bully Students In North Carolina - Ignorance Rules In Our Public Schools

Obama Stooge Teachers Bully Students In North Carolina - Ignorance Rules In Our Public Schools

An extremely ignorant, bigoted, loud, bullying, unqualified "teacher" from North Carolina has been revealed to be an Obama 'Sleeper' mole, hell bent on destroying the liberties, free speech, free thinking youth of America by brain washing her studen...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney Has Said That If He Is Elected President He Promises To Provide Free Blow Dryers To Every American Family

Mitt Romney Has Said That If He Is Elected President He Promises To Provide Free Blow Dryers To Every American Family

TOLEDO, Ohio - GOP front runner Mitt Romney was in Toledo speaking at the yearly meeting of The Retired Ohio Blue Tip Kitchen Matches Factory Workers Union 1313. He told the crowd estimated at between 71 and 74 people including six babies, seven t...
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Funny story: Avery Bradley and Jacoby Ellsbury Shoulder the Load

Avery Bradley and Jacoby Ellsbury Shoulder the Load

Boston media are starting to draw a parallel between Avery Bradley of the Celtics and Jacoby Ellsbury of the Red Sox. As we know, both men suffered rather painful shoulder dislocation this season. For Bradley it happens every other game, keeping h...
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Funny story: Dorking WW2 Memorial Society. Shock discovery

Dorking WW2 Memorial Society. Shock discovery

Dorking WW2 Memorial Society discovered two Panzer Elite Troops hiding under the stage in their club house. The men, brewing Ersatz coffee forgot to open a small window they had made in the wall with the result that the smell filled the lounge bar an...
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Funny story: The Quentin Kelp Column - Your elected member

The Quentin Kelp Column - Your elected member

Dear constituents of mine, I have had a most hectic weekend. You'll all be pleased to hear I made it to Barcelona and back although the BA flight out was delayed. What a nightmare. We really should bring it back into public ownership. The champagne was dreadful. I'll speak to Vince about it. I mentioned in my last piece that I was only there for a quick check on the state of the Euro and...
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Funny story: Texting Codes for the over 60's Defined!

Texting Codes for the over 60's Defined!

Texting for the over 60's. The rioting, mugging, unemployed, alcoholic, smoking, drug-taking, spoilt youths and kids of today, have all their little SMS codes, like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes suitable for the more mature, decrepit, and coffin-seeking Senior Citizens of today. AFE - Another Fart Escaped ATD - At the Doctor's ATM - All The Medications BAS - Burnt Ano...
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Funny story: Xena Warrior Princess Movie Will Star John Travolta

Xena Warrior Princess Movie Will Star John Travolta

John Travolta will star in the highly anticipated Xena Warrior Princess movie as the leather clad Amazon Warrior a role Travolta says he was "destined" to play. Filming of the epic, based on the popular TV show, a favorite of teenage boys and midd...
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Funny story: Religious Tolerance Restaurant Opened

Religious Tolerance Restaurant Opened

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL (Acme World News) -- A new restaurant featuring religious tolerance and diversity was opened last May 12, 2012. The restaurant contained 14 areas, each related to different religions, with a specific menu on each area. For e...
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Funny story: Fundamentalist groups and Lady Gaga fans clash at concert venue

Fundamentalist groups and Lady Gaga fans clash at concert venue

MANILA, PHILIPPINES (Acme World News) -- Christian fundamentalist groups and Lady Gaga fans had a heated debate outside the SM Mall of Asia, where Lady Gaga will have a concert. The fundamentalists protest to cancel the concert because some songs...
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Funny story: New Windows Version planned, does not recognize autorun files

New Windows Version planned, does not recognize autorun files

Microsoft plans a new release of Windows this coming February 2, 2013 that makes the well-renowned operating system a bit easier for flash drive users. The new version has codename NEIN AUTORUN, meaning that autorun prompts won't launch everytime...
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Funny story: Anti-gravity kitchen utensils invented for arguing couples

Anti-gravity kitchen utensils invented for arguing couples

Panzer Kitchenware Ltd. has developed a new set of kitchen utensils that are not exclusive for cooking. The new line of kitchen set collection, known as Propaganda War Set, contain pots, pans, and plates that look normal, but they're not ordinary...
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Funny story: TV Networks petition gore films to be given X rating

TV Networks petition gore films to be given X rating

MYLITTLEPO, NY (Acme Quicknews) -- Many TV networks, including the Acme Network, made a petition for films that show the internal organs like some horror and cannibal films to be given an X rating, or disqualified for public viewing. During the press conference headed by three news anchors from three different TV networks who started the petition, namely, Otis from BarnTV's "Dateline at the Far...
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Funny story: Filesystem Squash FS Bank closed due to deposit and withdrawal error and lack of funds

Filesystem Squash FS Bank closed due to deposit and withdrawal error and lack of funds

DESPICABLE, ME (Acme Quicknews) -- Filesystem Squash FS Bank was closed last May 18, 2012 after a lack of funds to sustain the bank. The bank manager has posted a notice that after undergoing monthly or bi-monthly bank robberies and being unable t...
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