Funny story: Kim Kardashian to become a Novice in Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity

Kim Kardashian to become a Novice in Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity

CALCUTTA, INDIA (ABSNN) - In an unexpected and wholly surprising move to the life of a religious nun, Kim Kardashian and Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity announced jointly today that Ms. Kardashian will become a Novice in the Order as of April...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover Something Terribly Wrong With Time

Scientists Discover Something Terribly Wrong With Time

Houston, TX-- A stunning disclosure from NASA today is confirming what most people already know--time passes much more quickly than it used to. Astronauts left very precise clocks on the moon during the late 1960's and early 1970's to test how time...
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Funny story: MI5 Restaurant a surprising success

MI5 Restaurant a surprising success

MI5's Oxford Street restaurant has proven to be a massive and amazing success, but the owners, John and Joan Smith, cannot for the life of them explain why. "We are a real restaurant," said Joan Smith. "We have ten covers, and the restaurant can s...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga's New Easter Outfit Provides a Peeps Show

Lady Gaga's New Easter Outfit Provides a Peeps Show

Make no mistake. It's not a "peep" show. Take your mind out of the gutter and see that we're talking about peeps. Y'know those soft marshmallow candies (yellow chickens and pink bunnies are the most popular) that folks either love or love to h...
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Funny story: Royal Wedding merchandise floods eBay

Royal Wedding merchandise floods eBay

Large handled mugs, mismatched saucers, too small plates, celebratory foot muffs and Wills and Kate wigs are just some of the items that have been appearing on eBay over recent weeks. All of the items have one thing in common, they are Royal Wedding...
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Funny story: Look Out, Small Fry! The Big Tuna Returns

Look Out, Small Fry! The Big Tuna Returns

Fans of the NFL coaching turnstile may want to check the expiration date on that can of Old Tuna sitting on the shelf since the Dolphins started to rebuild. Yes, reports are now circulating that the Big Tuna himself, Bill Parcells, is about to go...
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Funny story: Price For 'Dinner With The PM' To Be Reduced!

Price For 'Dinner With The PM' To Be Reduced!

The Prime Minister has announced that the £50,000 per head price being charged to have dinner with him at 'Number 10' is to be reduced to just £20,000. The decision to significantly reduce the dinner prices follows adverse publicity over the weeke...
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Funny story: Bank of America Announces New Customer Offerings: "Daylight Savings Account" and "Accelerated Affluence Attainment (AAA)" Securities

Bank of America Announces New Customer Offerings: "Daylight Savings Account" and "Accelerated Affluence Attainment (AAA)" Securities

Bank of America sustained a number of blows to its public reputation over the past year, most recently in a class action lawsuit by defrauded customers, which resulted in a settlement of $410 million. Nevertheless, in a press conference yesterday in...
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Funny story: All Our Yesterdays: Revolution!

All Our Yesterdays: Revolution!

Cliveyenko Sergeyevich Dantonov alighted from the train and looked at his watch. He was a little early but he had expected crowds. If not for him, then surely to greet the great man who would lead the workers to freedom. So, time to kill. Here we were at last - a day that would go down in history. And he was part of it. No longer would he be the butt of practical jokes - not he, Dantonov. Hence...
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Funny story: Woman Loses Touch with Reality after Watching Weeklong Reality Series

Woman Loses Touch with Reality after Watching Weeklong Reality Series

TOPEKA, Kansas - A local woman was transported to KVC Psychiatric Hospital Sunday evening after neighbors called 911 to report a crazed woman trying to build a "doomsday bunker" in her back yard. Norma Lee Fein, 58, was busy using a chainsaw t...
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Funny story: Three dead after taking the water cure at Hog Jaw, Arkansas

Three dead after taking the water cure at Hog Jaw, Arkansas

HOG JAW, ARKANSAS (ABSNN)-Three people are dead today following their consuming the waters at the recently opened Hog Jaw Hot Springs according to state officials. Apparently, the waters are just for bathing and not at all meant to be drunk.
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Funny story: Ron Paul said to be victim of Spontaneous Human Combustion!

Ron Paul said to be victim of Spontaneous Human Combustion!

DALLAS, TX (ABSNN)-Ron Paul, Texas Congressman and Republican Presidential also-ran, burst into flames this morning while awaiting an interview with Today's Matt Lauer. His body was completely consumed while sitting in a make-up chair prior to the 9...
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Funny story: David "Pratt" takes his head out of Mancini's butt to play mind games!

David "Pratt" takes his head out of Mancini's butt to play mind games!

Assistant Man City trainer, David "Pratt", actually removed his head out of Manager Mancini's butt to play mind games with "mastermind", Sir Alex Ferguson. David, in all of his innocence thought it would be a grand idea because having his head stu...
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Funny story: Hitler makes come-back as shampoo model!

Hitler makes come-back as shampoo model!

Notorious Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler has been reincarnated and can now be seen modelling Turkish shampoo! He decided to turn-over in his grave once more because the product, Biomen, is for real men and not for "fairies". Also his fee was pretty hot,...
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Funny story: God's and Satan's reconciliation finalized!

God's and Satan's reconciliation finalized!

JURESALEM (ABSNN) EXLUSIVE TO THESPOOF-At long last it seems that The Almighty God and His Fallen Angel Satan have reconciled. After 6,000 or more years (millions according to Satan's right hand man, Frankie the J), the two have reached a rapprochem...
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Funny story: Government woes mount as Nick Clegg caught whining and dining Party sperm donor

Government woes mount as Nick Clegg caught whining and dining Party sperm donor

London - Apparently the donor is notorious for his awesome deposits the bulk of which are held on seven day call at the First Coalition Sperm Bank of Westmonster. This morning Nick Clegg said he'd done nothing wrong after getting caught feasting w...
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Funny story: Women Who Love Cleaning

Women Who Love Cleaning

A third of women secretly love cleaning, a survey has revealed. The results of research by pharmaceutical manufacturers, Thornton and Ross, show that many women find giving the house a once-over "satisfying" or a "therapeutic" expererience. But...
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Funny story: No Smell of Beer or Chicken on the Breath of Bobby Jenks

No Smell of Beer or Chicken on the Breath of Bobby Jenks

Bobby Jenks apologized to the Red Sox organization and his teammates for his deplorable overindulgence and bad judgment. He stated how he did not have a sip of alcohol. Police acknowledged that they found neither beer, nor chicken wings, in his c...
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Funny story: Santorum's "The First Book of Rick"

Santorum's "The First Book of Rick"

SCRANTON, PA --- A staffer to Republican Party presidential primary candidate, Rick Santorum thought it was only an Etch a Sketch he accidently left in a cab. Only, after entering the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company where his boss was to give a speech did he realize it was Santorum's entire 'playbook' for what he would do if elected President of the United States. Taxi driver, Julian Assange (no r...
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Funny story: Psychology Professor creates new syndrome in his lunch break

Psychology Professor creates new syndrome in his lunch break

I'm sitting in Starbucks sat opposite the man of the moment - Martin Gamble, Professor of Behaviour, Undestanding and Motivation at the University of Redbrick. Martin has a unique gift, he is able to create a new Psychological Syndromes in his lunch break I ask Martin how he does it? Martin laughs and throws back his lustrous brown hair. He has a warm laugh. It's like taking a bath in rich crea...
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Funny story: Cows are Evil

Cows are Evil

They look as innocent as babies in an advertisement for starving children. Large, moist eyes sit unblinking over lips as flat as the Midwest horizon. Flies buzzing about their heads fail to visibly perturb them, as if they are so resigned to their plight that their last, best revolt is to remain stoic and not give the flies the satisfaction of letting them know they are annoying. They are Zen-li...
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Funny story: It Looks Like Miley Cyrus' Lap Dancing Days May Be Over As Her and Boyfriend Liam Hemsworth of "The Hunger Games" Are Talking About The "M" Word

It Looks Like Miley Cyrus' Lap Dancing Days May Be Over As Her and Boyfriend Liam Hemsworth of "The Hunger Games" Are Talking About The "M" Word

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus and on-again, off-again, on-again boyfriend Liam Hemsworth appear by all accounts to be engaged and heading for wedded bliss. Liam Hemsworth the 22-year-old Australian star of The Hunger Games stated that he really fe...
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Funny story: Teachers who shouted 'STOP IT' to a pupil sacked.

Teachers who shouted 'STOP IT' to a pupil sacked.

A teacher who shouted 'STOP IT' to a pupil was sacked from the school she had been teaching and was given a 12 month prison sentence. Jane Harding, 47, was told by a Liverpool Court that just because the pupil was dealing drugs on school premises...
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Funny story: The Reason Why Ricky Gervais Turned Down Simon Cowell's Generous Offer To Be A Judge On X-Factor

The Reason Why Ricky Gervais Turned Down Simon Cowell's Generous Offer To Be A Judge On X-Factor

LOS ANGELES - Now that Simon Cowell has filled one of the two available judges positions on X-Factor with Britney Spears, the entertainment world is wondering who he will select to take the second vacant judges chair. Names that have been tossed a...
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Funny story: Records Reveal That Dick Cheney Never Received A Heart Transplant, Turns Out He Never Had One In The First Place

Records Reveal That Dick Cheney Never Received A Heart Transplant, Turns Out He Never Had One In The First Place

The Non-Associated Press released a surgeon's report detailing former vice president, Dick Cheney's "heart transplant". The operation was performed by two of the world's foremost surgeons, Drs. Foster and Schmick who actually aren't surgeons at all...
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Funny story: Old Blood And Guts Obama Vows To Remake USA Into North Korea

Old Blood And Guts Obama Vows To Remake USA Into North Korea

BILLINGSGATE POST - From the ramparts of Observation Point Ouellette, the closest point to the Demilitarized Zone that separates South Korea from North Korea, Barack Hussein Obama peered through his binoculars at the windswept no-man's land that was...
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Funny story: UFO Sighted Over the Nation's Capitol

UFO Sighted Over the Nation's Capitol

Washington DC: An extremely bright light was visually observed hovering high over the White House. The light could be seen as far away as Chicago IL, yet area air traffic control RADAR screens were completely blank. The light was definitely identi...
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