Funny story: Denver Broncos Vice President John Elway Has Just Taken Out A $96 Million Insurance Policy on Peyton Manning

Denver Broncos Vice President John Elway Has Just Taken Out A $96 Million Insurance Policy on Peyton Manning

DENVER - After Denver Broncos Vice-President John Elway signed former Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning to a 5-year, $96 million contract, many sports writers, reporters, and fans remarked that Elway was a much better passer than he is a...
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Funny story: Tory Co-Treasurer Peter Crud-Arse in 30 pieces of silver NewsCorpse plot

Tory Co-Treasurer Peter Crud-Arse in 30 pieces of silver NewsCorpse plot

London - The Tory Party co-treasurer and Prince's Truss 'Enterprise Fellow' has been outed in a prime monsterial arse-pimping scam. A weekend broadsheet videoed Peter Crud-Arse saying a £250,000 donation would get you intimate side-saddle time wit...
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Funny story: Animal rights to visit Anfield, Liverpool, as concern mounts over 11 donkeys!

Animal rights to visit Anfield, Liverpool, as concern mounts over 11 donkeys!

This is ANFIELD, Liverpool: Animal rights investigators have instigated an investigation in the Anfield area of Liverpool, after reports that 11 donkeys and their old Scottish handler were forceably fed humble pie for over 90 minutes, on Saturday 24...
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Funny story: Virulent strain of graffiti gripping the country

Virulent strain of graffiti gripping the country

A dangerously ugly strain of graffiti is threatening to sweep major cities in the North. It is believed to have been brought back by British tourists returning from the Spanish Costas, where it has been rife in recent years. In the last week, t...
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Funny story: Little Bo Peep charged with Capital murder in East Sussex!

Little Bo Peep charged with Capital murder in East Sussex!

NINFIELD, EAST SUSSEX (ABSNN) - Little Bo Peep, the unfortunate stewardess of sheep in this small East Sussex enclave did not lose her sheep, not according to the Lord High Sheriff of Ninfield. "She killed them, everyone," claimed the arrest warrant...
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Funny story: The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Seven

The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Seven

The story so far: It's still quite dull really. It's just a load of old toss about a bunch of upper crust kids who drink a lot and do drugs occasionally. It seems at this point that it has no idea where it's going, much less what it wants to be. All that's really happened so far is that The Spiffing Six - of whom there are only four (five if you include the priapic dog, Stiffy, who we hardly ev...
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Funny story: Obama recognizes Billy Graham as reason for his being "born again"

Obama recognizes Billy Graham as reason for his being "born again"

WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama broke his silence today regarding his religious, "Born Again" conversion on April 25, 2010 at the hands of the Reverend Dr. Billy Graham. Dr. Graham has been the unofficial Christian counselor to t...
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Funny story: Fire In The Hole At Goosey Holler, Kentucky (Bluegrass #9)

Fire In The Hole At Goosey Holler, Kentucky (Bluegrass #9)

Melvin is driving over to eat a plate of tacos after smoking some joints out in the middle of his wife's garden when he sees Ralph running around his Cement Garden Ornaments with his pants down and screaming like a banshee until he slams into a concrete item that looks like a big bee, knocking himself flat on the ground. "What's the matter, Ralph? If there was anything chasing you, I can't see...
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Funny story: Jimmy Carter Named Director of Homeland Carpentry!

Jimmy Carter Named Director of Homeland Carpentry!

Partly to give him something to do and partly to keep him out of trouble, losing votes for President's re-election campaign in the South, former President Jimmy Carter of Plains, Georgia has been named 'Director of US Homeland Carpentry!' "I promi...
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Funny story: Peru Woman Gives Birth To 16-Pound Baby!

Peru Woman Gives Birth To 16-Pound Baby!

Forget the 13 and 14-pounders, this lady should be awarded a medal of some kind as she gave birth to (according to scales and witnesses) a sixteen pound baby boy. Through an interpreter the lady, Chaska Lemila, told a reporter from Reuters News th...
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Funny story: 'The Human Brain Rewrites "Boring" Speech', Claims Study

'The Human Brain Rewrites "Boring" Speech', Claims Study

The human brain has the ability to make even the most boring stories vivid and entertaining, a leading brain scientist claims. This is because the brain's 'inner voice' can talk over even the most tedious speaker, according to Professor Jens Convo...
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Funny story: Local Man Left Gobsmacked By Jacket Potato Flavoured Crisps

Local Man Left Gobsmacked By Jacket Potato Flavoured Crisps

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was left gobsmacked at the factory where he works this week as a work colleague produced a packet of 'Jacket Potato' flavoured crisps at breaktime. The man, who we shall call Matt for the purposes of journalistic lice...
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Funny story: Kate is virtually bald says celeb hairdresser

Kate is virtually bald says celeb hairdresser

London - "Underneath she's bald as a Coutts bank manager, hehe," Kensington crimper to the stars Ray 'Mr Queasy-Squeezy' Bessone Jr said this weekend. Apparently Kate's had weeks of Wayne Rooney-style surgery that transplanted a pesky mustache ont...
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Funny story: Going Nude! Small Town's Whole Population Go Nude

Going Nude! Small Town's Whole Population Go Nude

A small town (Population 1200) in Arkansas, which doesn't want to reveal it's name or location, has been forced to go nude for the past two weeks, reports a passer-through. "It's really pitiful to see them try to go about their normal business unc...
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Funny story: Peyton Manning's Top Ten Little-Known Demands Added To His Denver Contract!

Peyton Manning's Top Ten Little-Known Demands Added To His Denver Contract!

10. Beeper in helmet that tells me defensive guy close behind me 9. Instead of a solid gold chain around his neck, he demanded a gold bolt through his neck. 8. Hold off all Tickle-Thons in the locker room, after a victory, until I leave. 7. No more towel-snapping in the locker room. Somebody's going to lose an eye! 6. No more "If that had been Eli" comments. 5. Center must...
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Funny story: Hollywood Versions Of Great moments In History - Almost!

Hollywood Versions Of Great moments In History - Almost!

Extracts from a selection of story outlines that came frighteningly close to becoming Hollywood movies... Edmund turned the key in the ignition and the tired old Toyota coughed into life. "Bloody wreck!" He silently swore. "Please just get me to Leicester. Please. "All right… never mind," he calmed himself. "We'll stick it to those bastard Yorkists at Bosworth, I get in good with Henry, t...
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Funny story: Liam Hemsworth and Nelissa Nelson Engaged

Liam Hemsworth and Nelissa Nelson Engaged

It seems that an engagement is on the horizon for British ballerina and model Nelissa Nelson who rose to fame playing Princess Odette in the widely successful Swan Lake. The 23 year old young star has been dating Australian actor Liam Hemsworth o...
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Funny story: Any Number Can Play-Except if You're Peyton Manning

Any Number Can Play-Except if You're Peyton Manning

Among the profitable moves made by monomaniac Peyton Manning was to usurp the retired number of Denver Bronco great Frank Tripucka upon signing with his new team. The long-retired Bronco didn't have much choice, and a new generation of disrespect cam...
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Funny story: Pubs have secretly been employing smokers

Pubs have secretly been employing smokers

Some enterprising pub landlords have, since the smoking ban, been employing smokers to stand outside their pub. "It's a good second income," said Sue Perkins, who has been standing outside the Red Lion in Stockport for the past two years. "You get...
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Funny story: Scandal As Kids Smoke 40 Tabs A Day, and more.

Scandal As Kids Smoke 40 Tabs A Day, and more.

Reports that an eight year old Indonesian boy has quit school, because it interferes with his ability to smoke 40 cigarettes a day, have caused global disgust and outrage, or at the very least upset a few Daily Mail readers. The boy's mother funds...
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Funny story: This Just In, Real Life Screws Recent College Grads

This Just In, Real Life Screws Recent College Grads

College is much better than real life. If I could pass on any advice, it would be to never graduate…. Stay in school FOREVER. In the spirit of making my life more difficult than necessary, I entered the work force before my official due date. I wish (as in I am begging you dear seniors) you would only do the opposite. With that being said, I have one piece of advice for you. Fail a final, loos...
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Funny story: The Hunger Games: The Outtakes Department

The Hunger Games: The Outtakes Department

VENICE BEACH - One of the stars of The Hunger Games, Liam Hemsworth was spotted having a plate of Crab Rangoon at a Fiery Tongue of The Dragon Chinese Restaurant in Venice Beach. Hemsworth who has been dating Miley Cyrus for quite sometime spoke w...
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Funny story: Newt Gingrich Gets Hold of Romney's Etch A Sketch and Shakes up the Republican Presidential Race

Newt Gingrich Gets Hold of Romney's Etch A Sketch and Shakes up the Republican Presidential Race

The entire Republican presidential race took an unexpected turn when Newt Gingrich got hold of Mitt Romney's etch a sketch and shook the crap out of it. The incident occurred at a Houma, Louisiana gumbo bar called Mumbo Dumbo's Gumbo where both cand...
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Funny story: All Our Yesterdays - Blazing Row In Wheelhouse Of RMS Titanic As It Almost Hits Iceberg

All Our Yesterdays - Blazing Row In Wheelhouse Of RMS Titanic As It Almost Hits Iceberg

11:33pm - 14th April 1912 - RMS Titanic... Latest News off the wires is that a furious row has just taken place in the wheelhouse of the White Star Line's RMS Titanic, currently approaching New York City from the north east, on her maiden voyage and possible blue ribbon winning trip, somewhere off Newfoundland. Skoob News's man on the scene, Gilbert Shuttlecock reported that a warning had be...
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Funny story: Man Pays Parents The Ultimate Tribute

Man Pays Parents The Ultimate Tribute

Nevada farmworker Gus Rismore has paid the ultimate tribute to his parents on the occasion of their 50th wedding anniversary - by eating them live on the internet. The 460 pound fat bastard, who owns the world motorcycle-eating record, invited tho...
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Funny story: United States to be Homogeneous by 2020

United States to be Homogeneous by 2020

Washington DC: President Obama has issued an Executive Order that the USA will become homogeneous by 2020 (next census). This new order does not exclude homosexuals (Gays and Lesbians) or transgender persons. President Obama was reading the 2010 C...
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Funny story: Broncos Fans Prepare To Transition From Ironically Claiming Their Quarterback Is The Best To Just Plain Meaning It

Broncos Fans Prepare To Transition From Ironically Claiming Their Quarterback Is The Best To Just Plain Meaning It

DENVER--Ever since the sports world was rocked by the signing of superstar Peyton Manning by the Broncos a few days ago, Denver fans across the country were left to wonder just how they were expected to handle such shocking news. "I suppose we sho...
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