Funny story: Celebrity Seniors Seek Seniority in Organ Transplantation

Celebrity Seniors Seek Seniority in Organ Transplantation

Should Hugh Hefner get a dead person's working kidney to replace his own faulty one just because he's a national treasure? Yes, according to a group of senior celebrities led by Betty White. "We even think non-celebrities who are elderly should be...
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Funny story: Brady the Sequel to Follow Tom Brady in Foxboro

Brady the Sequel to Follow Tom Brady in Foxboro

Brady Quinn may be the biggest loser of the Peyton Manning sweepstakes. Yes, all eyes have watched Peyton going through the practice motions before the all-knowing eye of John Elway. Watchers in the thorny world of the NFL have gazed upon Tim T...
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Funny story: UK Undercover Binge Drinker

UK Undercover Binge Drinker

The time is 6 pm, and my location is Leeds, West Yorkshire, England. I have been commissioned by this magazine to investigate the British phenomenon of binge drinking. I will be reporting my experiences electronically in real time to our head office. Unfortunately, to infiltrate this world, I need to drink copious amounts of alcohol. This will enable me to be totally accepted by the local sharp...
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Funny story: Manhattan Woman Takes Crappy Job to Pay Bills

Manhattan Woman Takes Crappy Job to Pay Bills

In a move that horrified her spiritually-minded friends, 32-year-old Kim Lewiston, who resides in New York's East Village, decided to take a crappy job in order to pay her mounting bills. The decision did not come easily to Kim, who's always been...
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Funny story: Sex-Addicted Apes Facing Extinction, Have Sex Every Few Minutes

Sex-Addicted Apes Facing Extinction, Have Sex Every Few Minutes

The Bonobo "Whoopee" Apes in the Democratic Republic of the Congo are becoming extinct even though they have sex every few minutes, even while they're eating. "It is an amazing fact", stated Penelope Swinger of one Bonobo Sanctuary in the central...
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Funny story: Santorum: I Will Tax Woodies, Condoms, Semen

Santorum: I Will Tax Woodies, Condoms, Semen

RED BANK, NJ (AP) While stumping in New Jersey, Rick Santorum (R-13th Century) proposed new legislation that he says will simultaneously reduce abortions, pay off the national debt, and promote traditional marriage. The new law, titled "Life Begins a...
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Funny story: D L Misty On The History Channel's New Mini-Series

D L Misty On The History Channel's New Mini-Series

I have been charged with the solemn duty of reporting to you on the new mini-series which will be aired on television's History Channel from next week, entitled Extreme Patisserie in HD. It was the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard who said: 'Patisserie must be eaten forward, but it can only be understood backward.' Whereas it was Henry Ford the motor car salesman who said: 'Patisse...
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Funny story: US Bar That Sold "Irish Car Bomb" Drink On St Patricks Day To Market "Twin Tower Cocktail" on Sep 11

US Bar That Sold "Irish Car Bomb" Drink On St Patricks Day To Market "Twin Tower Cocktail" on Sep 11

The Lauderdale Grill in Fort Lauderdale Florida has announced it will serve Twin Tower Cocktails every September 11 to commemorate the victims of the attacks on the World Trade Center after receiving nothing but praise for advertising their $6 "Irish...
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Funny story: Invisible Children Co-Founder Suffers Invisible Underpants Embarrassment

Invisible Children Co-Founder Suffers Invisible Underpants Embarrassment

Jason Russell, the co-founder of the 'Invisible Children' charity behind the "Kony 2012" video that went viral on youtube, is set to launch a sister charity called 'Invisible Underpants' and release a video about the embarrassing phenomenon of disapp...
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Funny story: When Irish Eyes Are Bloodshot - The Terrible Truth About St Patrick's Day

When Irish Eyes Are Bloodshot - The Terrible Truth About St Patrick's Day

Health Chiefs today advised that the real reason why so many Irish people, and people of Irish descent have bloodshot eyeballs is mainly because it's Saint Patrick's Day, and most will have been guzzling alcoholic beverages with unbridled gusto since...
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Funny story: Rupert Murdoch tells how he almost closed down Man United

Rupert Murdoch tells how he almost closed down Man United

Rupert Murdoch has revealed how he considered closing down Manchester United after recent embarrassing results, before Charlies Angel wife Wendi pointed out that he doesn't own them. Writing on twitter yesterday he declared "Getting old, was going...
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Funny story: Lady Macbeth hexoplasm a grim Mother's Day Omen-II

Lady Macbeth hexoplasm a grim Mother's Day Omen-II

London - Some spectral hexoplasm shaped like a sleepwalking Kate Middleton has slid out from the Queen's vagina sending terrified royal flunkies stark raving bonkers. The apparition emanated in the monarch's bedchamber close to midnight after a tr...
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Funny story: Zimbabwean Big Game Hunter Plugs Rampaging Bull Elephant With Pellet Gun In Southampton

Zimbabwean Big Game Hunter Plugs Rampaging Bull Elephant With Pellet Gun In Southampton

The last of the Zimbabwean big game hunters, Clayton LeMoors, one time sausage vendor based in Portsmouth but living in Southampton was called in today by Hampshire Constabulary to deal with a rampaging bull elephant situation, in Above Bar, Southamp...
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Funny story: Bend & Jerry's Introduces "Apple-y Ever After", "Chubby Buddy" To Celebrate Legal Gay Marriages!

Bend & Jerry's Introduces "Apple-y Ever After", "Chubby Buddy" To Celebrate Legal Gay Marriages!

The famous Bend & Jerry's nationwide ice cream empire are adding a few new flavors in celebration of new legal marriages in their home state of Vermont. "We think that this is the right move towards civil rights for everyone", stated Bend. "So...
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Funny story: Ask them greedy corporate mercenaries

Ask them greedy corporate mercenaries

Although our stomach is well-equipped with a mechanism against gastric acid, sometimes its mucus gets badly hurt, allowing the acid to penetrate, violating a code of conduct called discipline. Earlier this week Staff Sgt. Robert Bales, 38, married, two children, aged 3 and 4, twice injured in combat, with an exemplary military record, is accused of killing 16 Afghan villagers, some children. B...
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Funny story: Rachel Allen Celebrates St Patrick's Day With Some Zingy Hot Irish Sauce

Rachel Allen Celebrates St Patrick's Day With Some Zingy Hot Irish Sauce

Top blonde Irish telly chef Rachel Allen celebrated St Patrick's day today by smothering her breasts in hot zingy chilli sauce, in an innovative recipe suggestion sent in by avid fan, Martin Shuttlecock. "I was in a bad mood when I woke up this mo...
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Funny story: The Sun Sweeps The Board In Today's Piffle Prize Awards With More Underwear Related Nonsense

The Sun Sweeps The Board In Today's Piffle Prize Awards With More Underwear Related Nonsense

"If you are a big fan of underwear, stars in their underwear, or even Z-List celebs in their underwear, then you need look no further than today's edition of The Sun," guest speaker, Pixie Lott told an enthralled audience at today's Piffle Prize Awar...
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Funny story: Local Man Uses Saint Patrick's Day As A Convenient Excuse To Get Bladdered Again

Local Man Uses Saint Patrick's Day As A Convenient Excuse To Get Bladdered Again

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed that he would probably get utterly, spasmodically, terminally bladdered to hell and back today, because it's Saint Patrick's Day. "It's traditional innit," Shuttlecock announced. Long suffering wife...
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Funny story: Man United To Play Like Athletic Bilbao In Title Run-In

Man United To Play Like Athletic Bilbao In Title Run-In

CARRINGTON - Man United insiders have revealed that Man United are to model their Premiership title charge on the team who finally booted them unceremoniously out of European competition. Athletic Bilbao. Sir Alex Ferguson offered no excuses fo...
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Funny story: Grumpy Yorkshireman Plans Chips N Gravy Airdrops For Syrian Rebel Forces

Grumpy Yorkshireman Plans Chips N Gravy Airdrops For Syrian Rebel Forces

Grumpy Yorkshire 'Chips N Gravy' campaigner, Ken Mither, 69, of Cleckhuddersfax has announced plans to airdrop emergency supplies of chips and 'proper' gravy to beseiged Syrian rebel fighters in the city of Homs. Announcing his plan in a press con...
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Funny story: Queen mudder abducted by Alien Skoob1999!

Queen mudder abducted by Alien Skoob1999!

LONDON (ABSNN)-Our beloved queen mudder was abducted by the nefarious skoob1999, an alien from the planet Marz Friday evening at 2335 GMT. She was attending séance at the West London home of Ms. Sarah Alton, a little know, but exceptional Physical M...
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Funny story: Local Man Gets Up Early - Denies Bed-Wetting

Local Man Gets Up Early - Denies Bed-Wetting

Just in, like Justin, the man with the one inch willy - local man Martin Shuttlecock appears to have changed his ways, turned over a new leaf, done it all for Jesus, and probably pissed the bed, (Although he vehemently denied the charge) as it was an...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney Excommunicated by Mormon Church! Becomes a Methodist

Mitt Romney Excommunicated by Mormon Church! Becomes a Methodist

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney, the front runner in the chase for the Republican nomination for President of the United States was excommunicated from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Mormons, after it was revealed Sat...
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Funny story: Meghan McCain Talks About Sarah "Snowflake" Palin, Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter, and Rush "Limpy" Limbaugh

Meghan McCain Talks About Sarah "Snowflake" Palin, Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter, and Rush "Limpy" Limbaugh

LOS ANGELES - Meghan McCain, the daughter of Senator John McCain and his elderly Barbie-looking wife Cindy McCain appeared on the daytime talk show The View. She talked about her latest political tell-all book titled My Days and Nights On The 2008...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer Goes From Gags to Riches

Spoof Writer Goes From Gags to Riches

London UK: Harry Phelps on his way to work at "The Spoof" was nearly hit by a chauffeur driven Bentley, as he stepped off the curb in front of the Bank Street Underground station. Harry was dusting himself off and cursing that he had looked to th...
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Funny story: Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas à Becket to be assassinated in December by four drunken knights; ridding kingdom of "that turbulent priest" and creating yet another 'Martyr Stop & Shop' for the British tourist industry

Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas à Becket to be assassinated in December by four drunken knights; ridding kingdom of "that turbulent priest" and creating yet another 'Martyr Stop & Shop' for the British tourist industry

Thomas à Becket, 52, was appointed the Archbishop of Canterbury in 1162. In a statement on his website, the head of the 85 million-strong Anglican Communion said serving as archbishop had been "an immense privilege". He said that news of his...
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