Funny story: Olympics: David Beckham misses out on Stuart Pearces 'Team GB Squad'

Olympics: David Beckham misses out on Stuart Pearces 'Team GB Squad'

The world of British sport was in shock today when Team GB Olympic Football team boss Stuart Pearce named his squad for the Games and local lad made good David 'OBE' Beckham wasn't on it. 'Pearcy' had to reduce his squad down from 35 to 18, and co...
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Funny story: Despite Being Released on a Free Transfer Louis Saha Still Turns up For Training

Despite Being Released on a Free Transfer Louis Saha Still Turns up For Training

Former Manchester United, Fulham and Everon striker Louis Saha who was released by Tottenham at the end of the season after just five months still turns up at Tottenham's training ground, wearing his Spurs top and carrying his own ball. The 33-ye...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton releases her perfume Snatch Paris

Paris Hilton releases her perfume Snatch Paris

Paris Hilton has just released an unusual new fragrance, Snatch Paris, and she is starring in a new commercial for the scent. The commercial shows Paris Hilton in an elevator, spraying the perfume under her wrist. As the elevator moves up, her sim...
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Funny story: Bob 'Rough' Diamond is the new Rupert Murdoch

Bob 'Rough' Diamond is the new Rupert Murdoch

London - The Barclays boss is the City's latest fallen idol being cattle-prodded into a Leveson-style public inquiry about endemic rot under his watch. Tonight he's adamant there's no resigning issue in his running of a huge, corrupt, casino-style...
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Funny story: Gerry Anderson Has Alzheimer's Disease

Gerry Anderson Has Alzheimer's Disease

The creator of Space 1999 and UFO, Gerry Anderson, has revealed he has Alzheimer's Disease. Mr Anderson was diagnosed 18 months ago but has spoken about it publicly for the first time after forgetting he was diagnosed with the disease. The 83...
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Funny story: British Celebrity Claims She Was Snubbed to Perform at Jubilee Celebrations Because She is Black

British Celebrity Claims She Was Snubbed to Perform at Jubilee Celebrations Because She is Black

A British singer and popular celebrity is claiming that she was not asked to perform at Queen Elizabeth's recent Jubilee celebrations because she is Black. Despite being one of the most popular and recognizable faces in the UK and having topped...
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Funny story: Sebastian Coe Heartbreak after Being Omitted from Team GB

Sebastian Coe Heartbreak after Being Omitted from Team GB

Sebastian Coe has not been selected for Great Britain's Olympic Athletics Squad which was announced today. The 55-year-old former two time gold medal winner of the 1500m said in May he thought he had a "good chance" of running at London 2012.
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Funny story: 'Department of Common Sense' Would Rescue America

'Department of Common Sense' Would Rescue America

Washington DC -- A group of activists, academics and other concerned citizens is calling for the creation of a cabinet-level "Department of Common Sense" to improve the quality of decision-making in the nation's capital. "America is in near crisis...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga dated Jenny Shimizu

Lady Gaga dated Jenny Shimizu

Jenny Shimizu described an intimate relationship she had with Lady Gaga, claiming that Gaga would fly her to destinations across the world for sexual liaisons. "I was her secret 'booty call' available any time of the day or night for secret sex s...
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Funny story: David Beckham: "The Olympics are cancelled!"

David Beckham: "The Olympics are cancelled!"

After tirelessly campaigning to bring the 2012 Olympic Games to London, David Beckham was distraught today when it became clear he had not been picked for the British Olympic football team. Stuart Pierce who has been charged with putting the team to...
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Funny story: Kevin Garnett: No Shades of Gray in His Retirement Picture

Kevin Garnett: No Shades of Gray in His Retirement Picture

Boston Celtic star Kevin Garnett has found a fountain of youth somewhere, according to friends like Kendrick Perkins and Shorty Rondo. Seventeen years in the NBA would turn a man to dust, but not the amazing Mr. Garnett. He became the Boston Celti...
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Funny story: An Upskirt Photo of Kate Gosselin Appears on The Internet and Boyfriend Russell Brand Is Not A Happy Camper

An Upskirt Photo of Kate Gosselin Appears on The Internet and Boyfriend Russell Brand Is Not A Happy Camper

LA BREA - Russell Brand and Kate Gosselin were having dinner at the famed La Brea Tar Pits Diner when Russell went into his laptop and saw a photo of Kate on the Internet. The picture clearly showed her getting out of her car in a short plaid skir...
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Funny story: Taylor Swift Shocked At The Zac Efron Marriage Rumors

Taylor Swift Shocked At The Zac Efron Marriage Rumors

LOS ANGELES - Taylor Swift was sitting in her luxurious suite at The Mrs. Teddy Roosevelt Hotel in West Hollywood when she heard a comment on one of the local radio stations. The disc jockey had said that country music artist Taylor Swift and movi...
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Funny story: Hideous patterned cardie as Pippa Middleton does Wimbledon

Hideous patterned cardie as Pippa Middleton does Wimbledon

London - "Did you crochet it yerself, love?" was one linesman's quip as the pointless social climber arrived at Centre Court's royal box today. "Ooh, with so many clashing geometric lines it's bound to f++k up the Hawkeye functionality," another a...
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Funny story: Captain Janeway's USS Voyager-themed crop circle wows Alton Barnes

Captain Janeway's USS Voyager-themed crop circle wows Alton Barnes

Wilts - Straddling the wheat near an ancient White Horse chalk carving its 350ft 'contrail' of circular disks snakes the local Delta Quadrant that is Alton Barnes rapeseed fields. This morning's materialization of the Intrepid-class starship is th...
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Funny story: The BBC Unleashes New Antique Programs

The BBC Unleashes New Antique Programs

Excitement is mounting as two new BBC shows - Antiques Under the Hammer and Antiques hit the road - are being aired on TV this week. A BBC spokesperson said to me that there seems to be a great hunger for more antique programming, and that it is up t...
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Funny story: Student May Not Have Been Forced To Read More Than Headline

Student May Not Have Been Forced To Read More Than Headline

A girl often seen on the 120 bus was caught reading more than the headline of a Daily Mash story. Apparently. iPhone owning student Beany Goodstate seemed to be engrossed in the shocking news that Kermit the Frog is the lead singer of the band Fl...
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Funny story: Mafia Boss 'Didn't Know'!

Mafia Boss 'Didn't Know'!

Bob 'The Diamond' Banks claims he didn't know his staff were killing anyone who they didn't like. This extraordinary claim was questioned by News International newspapers. In an editorial in the Sun the editor wrote: 'It is about time those in charge of organisations took responsibility for the action of their employees'. In a Government statement David Cameron exclaimed that when someone w...
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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo's Penalty Miss Hilarious Says Expert

Cristiano Ronaldo's Penalty Miss Hilarious Says Expert

A top football expert has branded Spain's progression to the final of Euro 2012 'hilarious'. EIF News & Features sports editor, Thelonious Adidas, was watching the Portugal v Spain semi-final on TV at his home in West Wittering because we refu...
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Funny story: Robert Peston To Seek Hollywood Career

Robert Peston To Seek Hollywood Career

Top broadcast journalist Robert Peston has ambitious career plans for when the current world-wide financial crisis ends. The BBC's business editor is planning to take Hollywood by storm and star in a series of adventure blockbusters portraying the...
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Funny story: Peeping Tom 'Not Such A Bad Guy' Say Academics

Peeping Tom 'Not Such A Bad Guy' Say Academics

History boffins are calling for the rehabilitation of a legendary pervert who research suggests wasn't such a bad guy after all. Peeping Tom has been the nickname for pervert voyeurs ever since the middle ages when, according to legend, he looked...
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Funny story: Chancellor writes to Bob Diamond of Barclays to apologise for £290million fine

Chancellor writes to Bob Diamond of Barclays to apologise for £290million fine

Thanks to our contacts at the new News International business "Phonetaps'R'Us", located round the back of Fairfax Bus Station, I was exclusively sent a copy of a letter, which my gum-rubbing informant claims was sent to the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank, Bob Diamond, from the Chancellor yesterday. Dear Bob Trusting you and yours are well. Listen mate. Sorry the Financially Stupid Asse...
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Funny story: The Reason Rihanna Cancelled Her Nude Appearance In PlayGuy Mens Magazine

The Reason Rihanna Cancelled Her Nude Appearance In PlayGuy Mens Magazine

SAN FRANCISCO - Rihanna was in the audience watching her good friend Beyonce perform before a cheering crowd at The Ipso Facto Coliseum. Half way through the show Beyonce asked Rihanna to join her on stage and she did. The two sang the old Beatles...
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Funny story: TV Gynecologist Discusses a Woman's (BLEEP) Problems

TV Gynecologist Discusses a Woman's (BLEEP) Problems

Washington DC: The US Supreme Court has ruled that the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) is not the obscenity police charged with keeping broadcast TV channels free of inappropriate language and nudity. The director of People for Relatively...
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Is Still Upset That She Cannot Fit Into Her Bikini Thongs

Jessica Simpson Is Still Upset That She Cannot Fit Into Her Bikini Thongs

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - It has just about been two months since Jessica Simpson gave birth to her first child who her fiancé Eric Johnson and her named Maxwell House Drew Simpson-Johnson. Little Max, as Jessica calls him, was born on May 1, and he weigh...
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Funny story: Brain Eating Virus Identified - Could Be Responsible For Cannibal/Zombie Attacks

Brain Eating Virus Identified - Could Be Responsible For Cannibal/Zombie Attacks

The Center for Diseased Conditions in Atlanta Ga. announced early Thursday that a mutant strain of the dreaded KMA2 nerve virus - which renders individuals incapable of coherent thought, and likely to react violently to things like flies and grey shi...
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Funny story: Euro 2012: Germany to be thrown out for ineligible player

Euro 2012: Germany to be thrown out for ineligible player

An unnamed Italian official today called on Germany to be expelled from the tournament for fielding ineligible players. Germany reached the semi-final by beating penniless Greece in the quarter-final, and won all three group matches, verses Portug...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Buy 1% Interest In The World Champion Miami Heat

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Buy 1% Interest In The World Champion Miami Heat

LOS ANGELES - One of America's happiest couples, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, has just become even happier. Bieber and Gomez have just been informed that their request to purchase 1% ownership in the recently crowned NBA champions the Miami Hea...
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Funny story: Johnny Depp Dumps Vanessa Paradis and Quickly Rebounds With The Erotically Sexy Amber Beard

Johnny Depp Dumps Vanessa Paradis and Quickly Rebounds With The Erotically Sexy Amber Beard

NEW YORK CITY - In a rebounding move that any NBA player would be proud of Johnny Depp has just dumped his girlfriend of 14 years, Vanessa Paradis and instantly jumped up and hooked up with the very attractive, sexy, actress Amber Beard. Pico de G...
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Funny story: Feminist Nora Ephron meets Jesus

Feminist Nora Ephron meets Jesus

Nora Ephron says she met Jesus Christ in her dreams and she was promised a man in heaven because she couldn't find one on earth. "I got desperate for a man because I was getting old and I was constantly being turned down for dates because of my age," Ephron continues "I had to visit heaven to get my man." Ephron said she hiked Mt. Ararat in desperation to enter the pearly gates to get to he...
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Funny story: Rosie O'Donnell Gets Extremely Offended At The Sex-Change Insinuation

Rosie O'Donnell Gets Extremely Offended At The Sex-Change Insinuation

OGALLALA, Nebraska - Rosie O'Donnell was in Ogallala where she was the grand marshal of The Annual Corn Cob Festival and Parade. She was having breakfast at a local Flat As A Pancake Pancake House with two of the town council members Flora Mimosa...
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Funny story: Martian Pompeii Discovered

Martian Pompeii Discovered

Houston, TX-- Tantalizing photos from the Red Planet are being received here in NASA headquarters tonight. Pictures from the orbiting Mars Express are showing images of a buried alien metropolis underneath the sands of Mars. The unexpected informat...
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