Funny story: Smokers ring out the warning

Smokers ring out the warning

Streets outside offices will soon become much more noisy if the anti-smoking lobby get their latest suggestion passed into law. "What we want to do," said Ashley Holden, "is to have smokers warn healthy people who happen to be walking near by. Our...
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Funny story: Toddler Terrorism Trauma

Toddler Terrorism Trauma

Children were reunited with their parents today after a dramatic siege at the "Little Monkeys" play area in central Kettering. The drama began at closing time when several toddlers took action to stop, what they viewed, as a premature closing, and se...
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Funny story: Helping Men to Survive St Valentine's Day

Helping Men to Survive St Valentine's Day

On the only day in the year when men are able to please the woman in their life is of course St Valentine's Day - if they expect to get any...uh, make the fairer sex happy, then feel free to follow this short guide which we have prepared for you in time for next year so that you can be more au fait with the art of seduction. There are just six fundamental points to remember: Step One: Rememb...
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Funny story: Gary and the Gobshites to reform after 25 years

Gary and the Gobshites to reform after 25 years

The music world was in turmoil today when news broke that punk rock recluse Gary Gritter was intending to reform his first band complete with the original line-up. Gary and the Gobshites split up in 1987 following a long-running personality clash be...
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Funny story: NASA dubs GJ 1214b Super Earth 'Planet Cannabis'

NASA dubs GJ 1214b Super Earth 'Planet Cannabis'

Groom Lake, Nevada - A water-world with a 'thick and steamy' atmosphere was nicknamed Planet Cannabis at NASA HQ today. Reports have described it as a gigantic organic hydroponic ecosystem orbiting a red dwarf in the Ophiuchus constellation of The...
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Funny story: Jennifer Lopez, 42, Talks About The Joy of Her 24-Year-Old 'Boy-Toy'

Jennifer Lopez, 42, Talks About The Joy of Her 24-Year-Old 'Boy-Toy'

ST. BARTS, West Indies - Jennifer Lopez recently stated that she truly enjoys being one of the judges on the hit show American Idol. She noted that it gives her a tremendous sense of satisfaction and joy to be able to help young wannabe singers.
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Funny story: Jew Whisperer Bibi Netanyahu To Fight Barack Hussein Obama In Heavy Weight Rematch

Jew Whisperer Bibi Netanyahu To Fight Barack Hussein Obama In Heavy Weight Rematch

BILLINGSGATE POST - It is no secret that President Obama and Bibi Netanyahu are mortal enemies. Just observing them sneer at each other during contrived press conference photo-ops is enough to make lip-readers delirious. It was said that during the...
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Funny story: UK 7 year-old boy accused of being a racist because he asked his mate why his skin is a different colour!

UK 7 year-old boy accused of being a racist because he asked his mate why his skin is a different colour!

A UK 7 year-old from Hull, playing with his mate, who just happened to have a slightly darker skin, has been accused of being a racist because he innocently asked the boy if he came from Africa! A teacher overheard the boy asking the question and...
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Funny story: Young People Lead Fight against the Drought

Young People Lead Fight against the Drought

As the parched land threatens to engulf Britain into a drought to beat all drought, the Government has received help from the Young People of Britain. Their leader Joe Smelly (16) has pledged not to wash until the crisis is over. Young people in d...
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Funny story: Lansley's Publicity Stunt Backfires

Lansley's Publicity Stunt Backfires

Andrew Lansley, Unhealthy Minister, made a hash of his most recent publicity. Seeing a demonstration outside the Ministry of Health he decided to have a friendly chat with an old lady who 'wouldn't hurt a fly'. 'How are you , my dear?' he asked.
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Funny story: Don't Fret Armageddon

Don't Fret Armageddon

Consider this article a bit of an "I Have Nothing to Write Today" part deux. I say that because I did my morning routine again, listening to the news, poking around Internet news sites to grab the top stories and looking for something I could make light of. Spoofing I think, is truly an art. The talented writers who usually appear in the top 10 of TheSpoof(dot)Com's authors are considered, at...
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Funny story: 'Brave' Kate togged out in hideous crimplene

'Brave' Kate togged out in hideous crimplene

London - Global style icon and royal gravy train sponger Kate Middleton wowed Oxford crowds today with a hideous brown shirtwaister last seen on Coronation Street's Hilda Ogden. "All that was missing were some curlers and the ubiquitous headscarf,...
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Funny story: Shame of Boxers - Noble sport in trouble

Shame of Boxers - Noble sport in trouble

The boxing world was in uproar today after the unauthorised fight between David Haye and Dereck Chisora in Germany during a press conference. Boxing a noble and historic sport involves two men punching each other in the face repeatedly until one o...
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Funny story: Nobody expected the Pennsylvania Inquisition

Nobody expected the Pennsylvania Inquisition

Cardinal Risk Sanatorium of Pennsylvania, leading contender for the POP Primary race, accuses President O'Bama of Apostasy, and is planning an auto-da-fé this coming November to force him to be shunned by the members of religious groups, and then sub...
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Funny story: Woman's Pancake Day shock horror as Turin Shroud face appears in blini

Woman's Pancake Day shock horror as Turin Shroud face appears in blini

London - Barking resident Mrs Hilda Ricketts has spoken of her dismay after a Pancake Day mix-up with her husband's ashes saw a Turin Shroud-like apparition pop up in her blini. Apparently she mistook a jar of the late Jock Ricketts' cremated rema...
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Funny story: Gingrich Proposes Term Limits on Marriage

Gingrich Proposes Term Limits on Marriage

Detroit, MI - Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich today announced a controversial plan to place term limits on marriage. During a campaign stop in Detroit, Gingrich was overheard telling an attractive blonde female supporter that if e...
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Funny story: University Challenge: Manchester And Clare Duke Out A Classic

University Challenge: Manchester And Clare Duke Out A Classic

As Lord Liverpool may well have ejaculated on hearing Wellington's despatch reporting the victory at Waterloo: "Bloody hell! What a stonker!" This was quarter-final last chance saloon for these sides, both of whom had already lost one match, and they served up a spectacular, high-scoring tight finish. The outfit from Cambridge, featuring the deeply intense Daniel Janes, got off to a slow sta...
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Funny story: Brad Pitt Warns Angelina Jolie To Cool It With Billy Bob Thornton Or Else It's Goodbye, Adios, Arrivederci, and See Ya!

Brad Pitt Warns Angelina Jolie To Cool It With Billy Bob Thornton Or Else It's Goodbye, Adios, Arrivederci, and See Ya!

BERLIN, Germany - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie recently attended The Berlin International Film Festival. Jolie was being honored for her directorial debut for the film In The Land of Blood and Honey. According to Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San...
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Funny story: Americans Quickly Losing Faith in Politicians: Emilio Estevez Accidentally Surges in Polls

Americans Quickly Losing Faith in Politicians: Emilio Estevez Accidentally Surges in Polls

WASHINGTON D.C.-- In a recent Rasmussen poll, 4% of registered American voters can name any one of the ballot candidates running for President, including current President Barack Obama. This indicates that America has lost hope in the traditional two...
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Funny story: Iran Announces Further Curtailment of Crude Oil Shipments

Iran Announces Further Curtailment of Crude Oil Shipments

(Tehran) This morning, Iranian Oil Minister Ali Oxen Free announced additional bold policy changes in response to sanctions against his country by Western nations. Following on the footsteps of Iran terminating all contracts to export crude oil to Br...
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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Desperately Reaching Out To Ex-Boyfriend Derek Hough

Cheryl Cole Desperately Reaching Out To Ex-Boyfriend Derek Hough

NEW YORK CITY - Cheryl Cole visited the Big Apple to see about a shoe modeling opportunity that she had been offered. The English singer has been keeping a bit of a low profile since she left America after getting dumped from Simon Cowell's X-Fact...
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Funny story: Dating Hell

Dating Hell

It's not often when our editor comes out of his office, but he came out a few weeks ago and shouted, "James, I have a story for you!" He proceeded to tell me his brilliant idea for a Valentine's Day story, and he wanted me to chronicle my dating life for our readers. I reluctantly agreed only because I had become so tired of being angry and cynical due to the fact that my ex left me for his...
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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Four - The Inspector Calls!

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Four - The Inspector Calls!

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 87 - The Inspector Calls Well.. he was expected to! The manager of the Tesco I was working at in Nottingham on what was then called Granby Street, but later became Maid Marion Way, informed me that the new Area Inspector (of Tesco stores) Mr P...
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Funny story: Celebrity Seniors Seek Seniority in Organ Transplantation

Celebrity Seniors Seek Seniority in Organ Transplantation

Should Hugh Hefner get a dead person's working kidney to replace his own faulty one just because he's a national treasure? Yes, according to a group of senior celebrities led by Betty White. "We even think non-celebrities who are elderly should...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney Begins Smoking Weed Again

Paul McCartney Begins Smoking Weed Again

London, England-- Sir Paul McCartney started smoking cannabis again today, only one day after pledging to give up the weed. The ex-Beatle says he smoked marijuana every day for fifty years, and thought that he had 'had enough'. Less than twenty-fou...
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Funny story: Disney Organization to Purchase San Francisco

Disney Organization to Purchase San Francisco

San Francisco CA: The Walt Disney Company announced today that the organization will purchase the City by the Bay from the State of California. A specific cost has not been mentioned, but analysis indicates that an offer of roughly California's curre...
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Funny story: Elderly Man Gets Pulled Into Bank's ATM Along With His Plastic Card!

Elderly Man Gets Pulled Into Bank's ATM Along With His Plastic Card!

A 93 year old East London man was taken to hospital yesterday afternoon after he was pulled into a bank's ATM machine along with his bankers card when trying to use it to withdraw money from a hole-in-the-wall cash dispenser machine outside a bank in...
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Funny story: WWE Comes To Buckingham Palace

WWE Comes To Buckingham Palace

The Queen was said to be 'most excited' today as she welcomed some guests to her Buckingham Palace home. But these guests were not dukes and earls - they were the wrestling stars of WWE. In an attempt to boost the royal coffers to finance her Diam...
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