Funny story: Controversial Cleric, Father Francois DuBois SJ Says "I Ain't Quittin' Yet! Losers!"

Controversial Cleric, Father Francois DuBois SJ Says "I Ain't Quittin' Yet! Losers!"

Warning - This article contains profanity - whatever the fuck that is - in abundance. The Editorial team apologize like motherfuckers for that. Please accept our motherfuckin' editorial apologies. Ass holes... Controversial West 'By God' Virginia...
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Funny story: Bedroom peeping proposed as new national pastime in GOP 2012 platform!

Bedroom peeping proposed as new national pastime in GOP 2012 platform!

A leaked memo from the Republican National Committee (RNC) states that one of the major platforms at the 2012 convention will be to make bedroom peeping the national pastime. "It is time to take our beliefs from word to deed," said a GOP spokesper...
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Funny story: News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter

News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter

The news out of Michigan this morning is that not all women in America are angry at Santorum financial backer, Foster Friess for stating that a safe and effective form of birth control for women is a simple aspirin placed between the knees. Women...
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Funny story: Apocalypse News - End of World to Occur Mid-November-ish

Apocalypse News - End of World to Occur Mid-November-ish

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - Major casinos and top gambling experts say November 2012 is when humanity will meet a fiery and horrific doom. Although the Mayan Calendar points to December 21, 2012 for some kind of epic world-changing event, the rise of several...
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Funny story: Android Ice Cream Sandwich to feature Lick-to-Unlock

Android Ice Cream Sandwich to feature Lick-to-Unlock

Following Apple's successful patent litigation concerning its Slide-to-unlock technology, other mobile device software companies will need to look for suitable alternatives. Google has been preparing for this eventuality by designing new unlock co...
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Funny story: Obamacare Church Compromise Carves Out Muff-Diving And Buggery

Obamacare Church Compromise Carves Out Muff-Diving And Buggery

BILLINGSGATE POST - Arguments over the proclamation by President Obama that mandates church affiliated employers provide birth control benefits to their employees reached a high fever pitch in the House of Representatives yesterday as lesbians and ga...
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Funny story: Bobby Brown to arrange catering at Whitney's funeral!

Bobby Brown to arrange catering at Whitney's funeral!

The list of celebs and VIP's has been drawn up for Whitney's funeral and it's a who's who of the pop, soul, blues world. Kevin Costner is to recite a eulogy stating how much fun it was being her bodyguard and having his ears bashed during breaks.
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Funny story: New vegetarian muesli set to hit shelves soon

New vegetarian muesli set to hit shelves soon

The makers of the Alpine brand of muesli have announced that they will soon be producing a vegetarian version of their famous muesli breakfast cereal. Whereas standard Alpine, and indeed most makes of muesli contain approximately two percent meat pr...
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Funny story: Secret Chinese-funded 'underground palace' scandal hits Prince Charles

Secret Chinese-funded 'underground palace' scandal hits Prince Charles

Gloucestershire - A lavish, but highly illegal, underground palace at Charles' Highgrove home has been discovered by builders working for the London Abasement (sic) Company in charge of excavations. Early reports suggest a whopping great big hando...
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Funny story: Dutch Prince hit by an avalanche, luckily he was in flat Holland at the time!

Dutch Prince hit by an avalanche, luckily he was in flat Holland at the time!

Dutch Prince Friso (pronounced Freezo) has been hit by an avalanche, but luckily he was in Holland at the time and it is a well known fact that Holland is as flat as a pancake, therefore it was not fatal. The Prince, who should have been skiing wi...
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Funny story: Distressed

Distressed

My furniture is all distressed It's unusually unstable The oak bookcase is quite depressed As is the coffee table The worktop has a thin veneer It seethes beneath the surface The taps know how low they can sink And think life has no purpose The painted window frame's been stripped... Of dignity. It's lacquered The blue front door's morale has dipped The cheese board is cream-cracker...
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Funny story: The Sun to appear on Sundays!

The Sun to appear on Sundays!

Rupert Murdoch, who believes he is God has decided to rewrite the Bible by allowing The Sun to appear on the seventh day. Once upon a time he preferred the "News of the world", but that was too naughty and not suitable any more for Sunday audiences a...
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Funny story: Dolly Parton Says Simon Cowell Has Asked Her To Take Paula Abdul's Place As a Judge On "X-Factor"

Dolly Parton Says Simon Cowell Has Asked Her To Take Paula Abdul's Place As a Judge On "X-Factor"

NASHVILLE - Country music icon Dolly Parton and her extremely private husband Carl Thomas Dean had just finished having dinner at The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse and were walking to their truck when they were approached by a reporter for Yip...
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Funny story: Yippee! New squeaky-clean Sunday Smearer to hit the news stands!

Yippee! New squeaky-clean Sunday Smearer to hit the news stands!

London - Rupert Murdoch said today his new Sunday organ will be staffed with 10 journalists 'who have never been caught in any hacking scandal'. The NewsCorpse red top will be edited by a well-known beautiful woman noted for her sharp wit, endeari...
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Funny story: Republicans to Outlaw Birth Control for Single Women

Republicans to Outlaw Birth Control for Single Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. (UPI) Following the recent congressional hearings on the inclusion of birth control pills under health insurance prescription coverage, republican committee members co-sponsored new legislation to address what they called the "religi...
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Funny story: Howard Stern's First Day On America's Got Talent, Show Marred by Horrendously Unintelligible Audio, Can you Hear Me Now???

Howard Stern's First Day On America's Got Talent, Show Marred by Horrendously Unintelligible Audio, Can you Hear Me Now???

From the parking to the live production I just have to say AGT's presentation or lack of it, is one hot mess. You say well it's free what do you want? Free? well sorta. You ultimately pay in other ways. First we got there and started scouting the parking lots for what was suppose to be free parking. After many locations and much conversation with non English speaking lot attendants, no free...
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Funny story: Adele Mistranslated By Prestige Magazine

Adele Mistranslated By Prestige Magazine

Multi-award winning songstress Adele was so happy at winning six Grammys she could barely contain herself. "Mum! The girl done good," she hollered from the stage in her delightful north London lilt. However, international commentators were left...
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Funny story: Olympics 'Mess' Right On Schedule says Boris Johnson

Olympics 'Mess' Right On Schedule says Boris Johnson

Cartoonish London Mayor and stereotyped upper class twat Boris Johnson has expressed his delight that plans for the London 2012 Olympics to turn into a mess of epic proportions are 'Right on Schedule'. Speaking to the press outside a heavily conge...
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Funny story: Question Time Triggers Latest Exploding Head Outbreak

Question Time Triggers Latest Exploding Head Outbreak

A top medical expert has hit out at broadcasters following another outbreak of exploding head syndrome on Thursday night. The latest spate occurred during the BBC1 political debate show Question Time. Emergency services started to receive calls...
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Funny story: Charlie at MI5

Charlie at MI5

The FBI in the United States has asked the MI5 to assist them in establishing that Charlie Chaplin was a Communist. Despite pointing out that the 'The Great Dictator' showed Charlie was keen on the fascists, the MI5 could only discover that Charlie w...
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Funny story: YouTube Being used to Recruit Hamsters to Terrorize the US

YouTube Being used to Recruit Hamsters to Terrorize the US

After watching a YouTube video of a Swedish bunny herding his master's sheep, local Washington, DC bully, Bugger Maloney's hamster named Chippy was reported to have herded the members of Congress into the Capitol to do something more than run their m...
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Funny story: Newt Gingrich sets off metal detector at New York airport

Newt Gingrich sets off metal detector at New York airport

New York, NY. - In an effort to look more like the common man, Newt Gingrich grounded his private jet and booked a commercial fight to his weekend retreat in the Hamptons forcing him to suffer the same pat-downs and rectal probe we all do when we f...
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Funny story: New York Knicks Star Jeremy Lin Says Kim Kardashian Asked Him Out On A Date

New York Knicks Star Jeremy Lin Says Kim Kardashian Asked Him Out On A Date

NEW YORK CITY - New York Knicks rookie sensation Jeremy Lin informed Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly that he received a phone call from Kim Kardashian. The 23-year-old Lincredible player said that Kardashian told him that she got hi...
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Funny story: Royal Couple Finds Cure For Cancer, Steals Global Spotlight Back From America

Royal Couple Finds Cure For Cancer, Steals Global Spotlight Back From America

LONDON-In what is being hailed as the most significant news since the death of Osama Bin Laden several months ago, which in itself was the biggest news since the royal wedding a couple days before that, the royal couple has dumbfounded scientists the...
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Funny story: Harry Redknapp Promises Fans 'Raand' Balls If He Becomes England's Manager!

Harry Redknapp Promises Fans 'Raand' Balls If He Becomes England's Manager!

Harry Redknapp promised fans yesterday that if he becomes the next England manager he will be inspecting the balls to be used for England's matches personally to ensure they are the same round shape as was used when England won the World Cup in 1966.
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Funny story: Apple Wins Slide To Unlock Case

Apple Wins Slide To Unlock Case

When an eight-year-old girl decided to enter a competition for a garden climbing frame and swing set, she had no idea that she would win the second prize. Neither did she guess for one minute that it would lead on to breaking one of the most puzzlin...
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