Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 8th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 8th August 2012

Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has caught the mood of the country when it comes to cycling, riding a smart new sky-blue bike to City's training ground. (Metro) Rumours he bought the bike from Arsene Wenger for £2 million have been denied by sources at City. AC Milan have joined Liverpool and Arsenal in the race to sign Turkish international Nuri Sahin from Real Madrid after Jose Mour...
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Funny story: Huge fans will be used to rid the Olympics of pollution

Huge fans will be used to rid the Olympics of pollution

With the sun finally coming out for the final few days of the Olympics, a new problem has emerged, with pollution set to make breathing dangerous for athletes. "Ozone levels are so high," said Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, who has decided to rem...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton, The Mastermind Behind Stephan Feck's, "The Worst Dive In Olympic History".

Paris Hilton, The Mastermind Behind Stephan Feck's, "The Worst Dive In Olympic History".

Once again the world at large has been deviously deceived by none other than the Queen of sensation publicity, Paris Hilton. As I reported before Paris has opened a covert, underground publicity agency that only caters to specific, willing cliente...
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Funny story: Romney Tax Returns Found

Romney Tax Returns Found

Mitt Romney's tax returns were found Wednesday stacked in a recycling bin outside a fish market in Lucerne, Switzerland. The thousands of pages of documents were being used to wrap carp, catfish, and a variety of other ichthyoids by a fish monger who...
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Funny story: Bloomberg issues UZIs to toll keepers

Bloomberg issues UZIs to toll keepers

Mayor Bloomberg, stymied in his efforts to regulate consumption of sugary drinks and his insistence on women suckling their new born, is now poised to issue Uzis to the toll collectors on the City's bridges. This follows his moves to have all toll...
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Funny story: Engand football team move to third in world rankings

Engand football team move to third in world rankings

Wembley HQ, England: With Team GB consolidating their third position in the Olympic tables, now it is time to shout a big "Hurrah" for the England Football team, who are third best at infighting, shagging each others wife's, getting boo'ded at by th...
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Funny story: Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Aries March 21st - April 19th Your must win at any cost attitude must be kerbed this September, for the sake of the less violent people around you, and to help prevent the high risk levels from the 4th to the 11th, of your making yourself look a bigger prat than usual. Especially if fail to think before talking! Your silent but deadly passing of wind, will reach new heights around the 14th,...
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Funny story: London Olympics Voted Best Ever!

London Olympics Voted Best Ever!

London, England-- Although they haven't ended yet, the 2012 Olympic Games in London seem destined to go down in history as the best! Everyone seems to agree there are three things that make it the most beloved Olympics ever--the weather, the food, a...
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Funny story: David Beckham confirmed as derney rider in Olympic Keirin event

David Beckham confirmed as derney rider in Olympic Keirin event

While many are still stunned about David Beckham's omission from Team GB's football team, it has been confirmed that the former Manchester United and England star has been taking part in London 2012 after all. However, his role has surprised many...
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Funny story: Stonehenge bouncy castle rattles Barking Druids

Stonehenge bouncy castle rattles Barking Druids

Isle of Dogs, London - The erection of a 50 foot blow-up Stonehenge replica at Barking Park is causing ructions among indigenous Druids. They fear whordes of stoned New Age nuts amassing at the inflatable monument are f++king up the natural cosmic...
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Funny story: Quentin Kelp MP - Donkey Sports & The Olympics

Quentin Kelp MP - Donkey Sports & The Olympics

Dear Constituents I have had a very hectic week and am now way behind with my Newsletters. This is because I have been focussing hard on my training for the 2016 Olympic Games. I reckon four years should be enough for me to qualify for Team GB although we first need to get my sport recognised by the IOC. As a sport, donkey dressage, donkey cross-country and donkey show jumping is not as r...
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Funny story: Fifty Shades of Beige

Fifty Shades of Beige

The story so far… Analicia Cobalt is a young woman, recently graduated and on a teacher training assignment in her home town of Watford. When she goes to the job centre to tell them she is no longer looking for work, she meets Marcus Beige, a dashing young man to whom she is immediately attracted. Following a date at a coffee shop, Marcus invites Analicia back to his house. They chat in the...
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Funny story: The New Rodney Dangerfield: Patriot Coach Bill Belichick

The New Rodney Dangerfield: Patriot Coach Bill Belichick

Pity the humorist that is thought to be sober-sided and dull. In New England for years we have heard the hue and cry that Bill Belichick is the most humorless person in sports and that his deadpan delivery kills them in the aisles. No one has s...
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Funny story: Isn't It Time To Shoot The Elephant In The Room?

Isn't It Time To Shoot The Elephant In The Room?

Following the recent shootings in Colorado and Wisconsin, isn't it time that the US stood back, took a good long look at itself and focused the telescopic sight on the elephant in the room? The pro-gun lobby rants about the fact that lone nutters will always kill people, regardless of gun controls. Psychiatrists will tell you, and rightly so, the lone nutters are relatively rare and that there...
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Funny story: Olympics Spur On Local Gymnastic Hopefuls

Olympics Spur On Local Gymnastic Hopefuls

A local playground is the centre of Great Britain's hopes for gymnastic gold in 2016 and beyond. While groups of yummy mummies and alpha mums look on with pride, toddlers and youngsters barely out of nappies are learning the ropes on the apparatus...
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Funny story: Latest NASA blockbuster a flop!

Latest NASA blockbuster a flop!

Box office records for the latest NASA blockbuster based on an unmanned landing on planet Mars have proved disappointing. Filmed at the massive open air studio known as 'Area 51', the latest would be blockbuster was shot in the barren desert there...
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Funny story: Town Folk Tired of Local man Thanking Everybody For Their Service

Town Folk Tired of Local man Thanking Everybody For Their Service

Whatabout,ID-Micheal "Micro" Shoft thanked a returning soldier he met at a restaurant and a firefighter he met in line at the grocery store. He even thank the garbage man for his service when he met him at the curb one morning after forgetting to set...
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Funny story: The KKK Is Having To Outsource

The KKK Is Having To Outsource

TUCSON, Arizona - The sad state of the nation's economy is having an adverse affect on everyone and the Ku Klux Klan is no exception. The Arizona chapter of the KKK is reporting that due to a tightening of their budget they will be having to do so...
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Funny story: Tom Cruise and Eva Longoria Spotted At SalsaLand

Tom Cruise and Eva Longoria Spotted At SalsaLand

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Tom Cruise appears to be feeling a little bit better about his divorce from Katie "The Kid" Holmes. Cruise and the sultry Latina Eva Longoria were seen dancing and doing a bit of bumpin' and thumpin' at the SalsaLand Dance Hall.
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Funny story: 10 Product Spin-Offs That Failed

10 Product Spin-Offs That Failed

Every year hundreds of corporations throughout the United States spend millions of dollars trying to capitalize on already existing products in the hopes that they will be as successful as the originals. And every now and then some of these consumer product spin-offs make it and they are wholeheartedly accepted and embraced by the American buying public. But sad to say, most of the times the...
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Funny story: Dykes On Bikes And Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence Endorse President Obama

Dykes On Bikes And Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence Endorse President Obama

BILLINGSGATE POST - The San Francisco Chapter of Dykes on Bikes announced today that they were joining with The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in endorsing President Obama in the November election. In 1976, a small group of women motorcyclists ga...
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