Funny story: Canadians plan on changing their accent

Canadians plan on changing their accent

Canadians are planning on changing their accent to make it more distinct from the American accent. "Y'all think we're from the You Essay," said Saskatchewan Spokesman, Brad Hanson. "So were gonna go change our accent and get our own identity, ya k...
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Funny story: Scientists Monkey Around with Evolution

Scientists Monkey Around with Evolution

The scientific community is ostracizing those scientists who publicly admit they do not believe in the theory of evolution. this was revealed to me by two men who have suffered "Toweling" at the Royal Society. Professor Madd said, "It was totally...
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Funny story: Electric Pineapple Launches 50th Anniversary Tour Part 1

Electric Pineapple Launches 50th Anniversary Tour Part 1

March marks the beginning of Electric Pineapple's 50th Anniversary Tour. While Day 1 I was waiting for the lads on the tarmac at Heathrow South. The 50th anniversary tour was on. We had waited...50 years for this moment and here I stood with our equipment, waiting for it to be loaded onto the charter for our flight to America. Much like the Beatles must have felt, I thought to myself. I...
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Funny story: Science Succeeds in Solving Age Old Mystery

Science Succeeds in Solving Age Old Mystery

After years of investigation and millions of dollars in government grants, an age old question has been answered using in depth probing that science has become so expert at. Professor Ima Schmitor, PHD, MAD, SOB, Dean of Snooker University, Chairm...
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Funny story: Someday Times That's Rich! list peddles same old bollox

Someday Times That's Rich! list peddles same old bollox

London - The usual suspects have been trolled out as top of the UK's filthy lucre pile. Rankings compiler Sir Peregrine Tosspot has included the FBI's Ten Most Wanted under a series of false identities 'such as the Duke of Westmonster'. Alleged...
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Funny story: Huge sinkhole suddenly swallows up Diana burial island

Huge sinkhole suddenly swallows up Diana burial island

Northamptonshire - "Sounded like someone flushing a gigantic bog," one of the Althorp House groundsmen said today as news of the disaster broke. Witnesses described how the burial island 'went down the plug hole' as a downpour wiped out the Prince...
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Funny story: World Exclusive - New Jeremy Hunt leaked email

World Exclusive - New Jeremy Hunt leaked email

A first draft of Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt's statement to the House of Commons has been leaked, reacting to the proposed take over of BSkyB by NewsCorp before it was 'polished' by Party officials. The recipient of the email is a certain DC, however DC is not David Cameron or even anyone closely associated with David Cameron, nor even anyone with the initials 'DC' according to a statement...
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Funny story: Chinese Dissident Faked Blindness to Escape

Chinese Dissident Faked Blindness to Escape

Escaped political prisoner Chen Guangcheng is getting the last laugh on his former Chinese captors. "I can see perfectly well through these magic sunglasses," Chen chuckled at a post-escape press conference in San Francisco. "Those stupid priso...
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Funny story: Battleship 'Iowa' Becomes Museum: what are the possibilities?

Battleship 'Iowa' Becomes Museum: what are the possibilities?

In the long tradition of ship museums the US battleship Iowa is to become a museum in Los Angeles. The UK has many warship museums (HMS Victory, the Mary Rose, HMS Warrior and HMS Belfast). The USA has a growing number as well. The latest is the Iowa; which, although even older than me, was still an operating warship until relatively recently. Thus controversy has inevitably followed the decisi...
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Funny story: UNESCO Protection of Film Heritage?

UNESCO Protection of Film Heritage?

A few days ago I came across the following news headline. "Titanic wreckage to become Unesco heritage" Do my eyes deceive me or has the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation entered the world of film criticism. I know Titanic was never popular with the critics, but 'wreckage' is a bit harsh. But to give it UNESCO protection is a ground breaking move. This is no do...
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Funny story: Guy Makes a Fortune When Laundry Card Machine Breaks

Guy Makes a Fortune When Laundry Card Machine Breaks

Thursday started off pretty damn shitty for New York City's Danny Suds. When he got to work at his job as a stock broker at U.B. Sucker he was told he was being fired for not once screwing any customer over in the five years he had been with the fir...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell Launches a Rival to "The Voice" - With Laxatives and Indian Curry

Simon Cowell Launches a Rival to "The Voice" - With Laxatives and Indian Curry

In a move that has stunned the entertainment world, Simon Cowell has shown that he is still one step ahead of the competition. From LA to London, media were reporting on one story which broke early morning LA time, about a brand new TV format that is...
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Funny story: Fowl Play suspected in good eggs from Cambridge Chicken Research Facility

Fowl Play suspected in good eggs from Cambridge Chicken Research Facility

Supporters of free range eggs got a boost this week when scientists at Cambridge discovered that chicken eggs, laid by chickens allowed to play and run and dance whilst listening to classical music and pod casts by Stephen Fry, produced eggs that wer...
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Funny story: Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round Up Day 7

Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round Up Day 7

The draw for the second round includes a few science, film and musical references to keep us interested.. Higgins v Hendry. Perry v Maguire - Show Me The Money?? Jones v Higginson Carter v Trump Williams v O'Sullivan Gilbert v Robertson - (shouldn't it be Gilbert v Sullivan?) Day v Yupeng Stevens v Hawkins... The games are already underway and Robertson is the first man into the last...
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Funny story: Dorking Anti-Counterfeit Police Raid Art Class

Dorking Anti-Counterfeit Police Raid Art Class

Fifteen people were arrested last night when Dorking Police swooped on the Our Lady Mary RC school to break up a "notorious" currency counterfeiting operation. Officers from Dorking Central Division, accompanied by dog handlers and an armed respon...
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Funny story: Sunday Times Rich List Features Local Tycoons

Sunday Times Rich List Features Local Tycoons

The annual bible of the UK's richest people will feature a group of local media magnates for the first time when it is published tomorrow. The Sunday Times Rich List logs the ups and downs the country's richest people, listing the annual incomes f...
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Funny story: Gareth Williams murder detectives call in an expert to help

Gareth Williams murder detectives call in an expert to help

London Metropolitan police have called in an expert to help solve the mystifying mystery of the mysterious death of mystery man Gareth Williams. "What we know," said Detective in Charge, DI Sue Tecase, "is that he was in a bag, dead, and worked fo...
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Funny story: Delmon Young Traded to Tel Aviv Lightning for Rabbi Akiva

Delmon Young Traded to Tel Aviv Lightning for Rabbi Akiva

Today the defending AL Central Division Champion Detroit Tigers announced that they have traded outfielder Delmon Young to the Tel Aviv Lightning for Rabbi Akiva. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad vowed to wipe the Israel Baseball League off the...
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Funny story: Man "pumped full of Mayonnaise"

Man "pumped full of Mayonnaise"

Horror overtook shoppers in an Altrincham ASDA, where a man slipped on a discarded Plum, and skidded head first into a pallet of Mayonnaise. For the next twelve minutes, the man, a local embalmer, Toby Lion, was encased in the pallet, and with no...
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Funny story: Nation mourns over Cheryl Cole fart

Nation mourns over Cheryl Cole fart

At three o'clock on Saturday, football grounds will fall silent, as news expanded out of Huw Edwards, announcing that Cheryl Cole had expelled a rather foul smelling gas, after having a rather noxious Curry during the all you can eat buffet at Mad Mu...
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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Five

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Five

A diary of one man's (Using the term loosely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 98: After a great night out I was so proud when I was invited to a company 'do', and received my 'City & Guilds' in Fresh produce retailing certificate. Unfortunately it was on a Friday night, after I'd just done a 15 hour shift at work...
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