Funny story: Trayvon Martin's Mother Files Paternity Action Against Obama

Trayvon Martin's Mother Files Paternity Action Against Obama

Sybrina Fulton, the mother of Trayvon Martin, the teen who was shot and killed by a self-appointed neighborhood security guard, has filed a paternity action against President Obama, seeking back child support for the 17 years of Trayvon's abbreviated...
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Funny story: Zimmerman's Conversation With Hannity Revealed

Zimmerman's Conversation With Hannity Revealed

Sanford, FL - In a bombshell press conference yesterday, defense attorneys Hal Uhrig and Craig Sonner revealed to the press that their former client, George Zimmerman, had spoken with Fox News commentator Sean Hannity. That same evening, Hannity...
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Funny story: Chad Smear - Animal Inseminator

Chad Smear - Animal Inseminator

Chad Smear, 44, works as an animal inseminator, and has been trying to encourage more people to follow him into the profession. It is a tough job, he says, but rewarding and with plenty of perks. This week, he is travelling to Peru, with a consignment of 7 gallons of llama semen. This is a typical week for Chad. "Oh yes," he says, "I have to collect the semen, bottle the semen, transfer the sem...
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Funny story: North Korea to launch rocket, but they don't know where it's going!

North Korea to launch rocket, but they don't know where it's going!

North Korea are about to launch a rocket and the world is holding it's breath at the eventual consequences, shock, horror! Obama, Cameron, Merkel, Sarkozy, Fred Bloggs, etc, have all warned North Korea not to do it, but as usual the North Koreans don...
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Funny story: National Humiliation New Logistical Key to Success

National Humiliation New Logistical Key to Success

ATLANTA - Wanna win a national championship? Get UPS to air a TV ad featuring your team getting crushed as an example of excellent logistics. Just ask the University of Kentucky. For the 2012 UK Wildcats men's basketball team, UPS did just tha...
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Funny story: North Korea Explains Planned Missile Launch Is Research for New Video Game

North Korea Explains Planned Missile Launch Is Research for New Video Game

After Secretary of State Hillary Clinton expressed grave concerns regarding North Korea's planned ballistic missile launch, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un explained that the missile launch is simply research for a new video game. "We are not a vi...
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Funny story: Bettany Hughes Admirers Warn Off Frustrated Alice Roberts Fans

Bettany Hughes Admirers Warn Off Frustrated Alice Roberts Fans

Admirers of historian Bettany Hughes are sending out warning signals to fans of rival TV boffin babe, Alice Roberts, as they prepare to watch her latest series, Divine Women tonight. As has been reported in these pages ad nauseum followers of anat...
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Funny story: Secret To Success Finally Revealed By Simon Cowell

Secret To Success Finally Revealed By Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell, high trousered music mogul and inventor of the sarcastic put-down to already inferior people, has sensationally revealed the secret to his fantastic success in everything he does. Parsnips. That's right, parsnips. And lot's of them.
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Funny story: Foyle's War Steps In As Midsomer Murders Goes Missing... Where's Barnaby When You Need Him?

Foyle's War Steps In As Midsomer Murders Goes Missing... Where's Barnaby When You Need Him?

Fans of hit TV sleuth show Midsomer Murders are up in arms today as their favourite series seems to have gone missing. Without a European Champions League match to show in their prime time 8pm to 10pm slot, ITV would normally be expected to screen...
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Funny story: Aceh quakes trigger massive gas bubble in Chevron's Barrow Island Gorgon project

Aceh quakes trigger massive gas bubble in Chevron's Barrow Island Gorgon project

Indonesia - Two huge shocks that rattled the quake-torn province of Aceh, Indonesia this morning may have dislodged vast sub-oceanic reserves of trapped natural gas off the coast of Western Australia according to reports. The Carnarvon Basin gas f...
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Funny story: Santorum bows out. Gingrich disappears from Google Search!

Santorum bows out. Gingrich disappears from Google Search!

When Rick Santororum bowed out of fhe presidential race yesterday, the media immediately began seeking a comment from Newt Gingrich. He was nowhere to be found! As the journalists frantically tried to find him, one enterprising reporter did a Google...
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Funny story: Cheap pubs adopt cheap flights business plan

Cheap pubs adopt cheap flights business plan

A new brewery chain has introduced really cheap drinks at pubs throughout the U.K. EasyCheap Breweries now offer beer and wine at rock-bottom prices in more than ten pubs. Customers who book in advance are able to obtain the cheapest drinks. A...
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Funny story: Final Straw As Dudley Cowboy Has Horse Clamped

Final Straw As Dudley Cowboy Has Horse Clamped

Swayne O'Garrett, the UK's last surviving cowboy, has sensationally hung up his spurs, as a run of bad luck left him 'tormented and disillusioned'. O'Garrett became a talking point around his home town of Dudley, West Midlands, after parading the...
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Funny story: Sherri Shepherd Will Quick Step On Back To "The View" After Getting Eliminated From "Dancing With The Stars"

Sherri Shepherd Will Quick Step On Back To "The View" After Getting Eliminated From "Dancing With The Stars"

HOLLYWOOD - The Dancing With The Stars ballroom is beginning to look more like a professional hockey arena as two of the top dancers are nursing injuries. Maria Menounos, who is paired with Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough, last week broke two ribs...
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Funny story: Eating disorders proven to be hoax

Eating disorders proven to be hoax

The Government today released a statement declaring that eating disorders are not/have never been real, and instead have been an elaborate hoax, created by two friend's in the 1980's. "It is a shame that so many people have chosen to fall for this...
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Funny story: Charities Fear Losing Large Donors

Charities Fear Losing Large Donors

Following Downing Street's threats to close loopholes used by the rich to avoid tax, charities fear they may lose their largest donors. Prime Minister David Cameron said that multi-millionaires were using donations to charities that do little work...
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Funny story: Slicing the Red Sox Baloney

Slicing the Red Sox Baloney

Carl Crawford has taken a page out of the Josh Beckett medical encyclopedia. The latest issue is Carl Crawford's newly discovered sore elbow. This is totally unrelated to his thumb or his sore wrist that was surgically repaired. The Sox injurie...
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Funny story: Hadrian's Wall Given £500,000 Boost

Hadrian's Wall Given £500,000 Boost

English security services and locals were celebrating today after they learned that Hadrian's Wall had secured a £500k SITA grant. The £537,185 grant has been made to help fund a project, managed by Hadrian's Wall Heritage. Said a Heritage spok...
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Funny story: Co-operation causes bigger brains - claim guess who!

Co-operation causes bigger brains - claim guess who!

By now regular readers of this reporters stories will detect a tedious pattern to my stories. There seems to be a remarkable trend in so called science reports which turn out to be nothing more than half baked evolution propaganda. Today's whimsical...
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Funny story: Toys for foetuses are set to be the next big thing

Toys for foetuses are set to be the next big thing

Babies like to play. As any third trimester mother will tell you, they like to start playing before they are even born. From swinging off the placenta to going through the dance routine from Grease, they never stop moving. With the latest range of...
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Funny story: Prenatal Brain Training? There's an app for that

Prenatal Brain Training? There's an app for that

Parents want their children to grow up super intelligent, despite the bullying that will ensue at school. Although there is no scientific evidence that brain training games allow people to be better at anything other than brain training games, it is...
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Funny story: My week as a woman - day four

My week as a woman - day four

I had somehow managed to almost strangle myself during the night, and I woke up as tired as when I went to sleep. The nightie was described as sexy. I now appreciate that the moniker was attached by somebody who had never worn it. Red lace may leave little to the imagination, but it should not, under any circumstances be worn by anyone with skin. Lace may be the sexiest material on the planet, but...
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Funny story: Bubba Watson, Dr. Watson, and IBM Computer Watson Star in New TV Show

Bubba Watson, Dr. Watson, and IBM Computer Watson Star in New TV Show

It's a Reality Show. Its name, you ask? The Three Watsons, of course! Early reports say that the three celebs are having a difficult time getting along with each other. No problem, experts say, as controversy fuels Reality TV. But maybe not...
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Funny story: The Bartholomew Uttersthwaite Column: Local Elections Survey

The Bartholomew Uttersthwaite Column: Local Elections Survey

Nottingham freelance news-hound and reporter Bartholomew Uttersthwaite (69), has been out on the streets of the City Centre, to get the views of the local proletariat on the upcoming local elections in three weeks time. It was originally intended for him to go on his '1954 Raleigh Superbe Roadster' pushbike, to enable him to get around the new pedestrian routes to interview the public. But one...
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Funny story: Artificial Intelligent Intellectual Pen 3000 - an advertisement

Artificial Intelligent Intellectual Pen 3000 - an advertisement

Can't write? Can't muster up that urge of literary brilliance that adorns the page like a symphony of unwritten prose just waiting for ink to touch parchment. Just write and go. The new Artificial Intelligent Intellectual Pen 3000 now with new improved Creative AI (tm). For all those moments when your feeble human brain says, "Fuck you higher functions! I ain't playing ball. I want to destroy...
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