Funny story: Queen to celebrate Diamond Jubilee by getting smashed

Queen to celebrate Diamond Jubilee by getting smashed

Queen Elizabeth II is to celebrate her 60 years on the throne by going on the mother of all benders with other members of the Royal family. She is hoping to start the day by getting twatted on champagne in the Bonapartes pub on Buckingham Palace R...
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Funny story: More cuddly toys as a child improves name memory

More cuddly toys as a child improves name memory

Loughborough University students have conducted the largest study into what allows some people to remember people's names better than others and have come to the remarkable conclusion that it is directly proportional to the number of cuddly toys owne...
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Funny story: Supreme Court Rejects Obamacare and Declares the Constitution Unconstitutional

Supreme Court Rejects Obamacare and Declares the Constitution Unconstitutional

After just a few days of discussing the Obamacare mandate, there has been a sudden and surprising turn of events. Not only has the court rejected the controversial mandate, it has also rejected the constitution. In a unanimous vote, the constitution...
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Funny story: Panic as Cameron's face appears on a slice of GCHQ toast

Panic as Cameron's face appears on a slice of GCHQ toast

London - A canteen lady at the UK's premier listening station nearly got the sack today after a slice of charred toast was mistaken for a deliberate April Fools prank. Mrs Doris Carnoustie was serving GCHQ CEO Sir Monty Dambusta his usual breakfas...
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Funny story: Male Spoof Writers Inundated By Sex-Starved Groupies

Male Spoof Writers Inundated By Sex-Starved Groupies

Male writers on satirical (yet not at all funny) website TheSpoof.co.uk appear to be having the time of their lives, as they are drowning in a sea of marriage proposals, date offers, and emails featuring a plethora of ladies in various states of undr...
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Funny story: David Cameron Is Not A Liar Claims Ex-Government Minister!

David Cameron Is Not A Liar Claims Ex-Government Minister!

A Tory ex-Cabinet Minister has sensationally claimed that ill-health is likely to force David Cameron to hand in his resignation as Prime Minister within the next few days. The claim was made by Ex-Austerity Minister Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenw...
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Funny story: Ambulance Ambiguity

Ambulance Ambiguity

The East Riding of Yorkshire's ambulance service has won an award for being environmentally friendly. The service -which is more famous for it's slow response time and high patient death ratio- began its radical environmental overhaul last year. "...
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Funny story: Dalglish For The Chop Following April Fool's Day Debacle

Dalglish For The Chop Following April Fool's Day Debacle

Insiders today reported that Kenny Dalglish faces the sack at his beloved Anfield, following yet another Liverpool defeat - their sixth in seven games - away to Newcastle United, with the Geordies running out easy winners by a 2-0 margin. In a dis...
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Funny story: Jeremy Lin's Knee Has "had it"

Jeremy Lin's Knee Has "had it"

In an interview with ESPN's Michael Breen Saturday, Jeremy Lin's left knee announced it's decision to suspend any and all rigorous physical activity on the part of its host in an attempt to "put some chill on all the 'Linsanity' bullshit." "Serio...
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Funny story: Mature Munters To Be Replaced By Sexy Asian Babes

Mature Munters To Be Replaced By Sexy Asian Babes

In a dramatic twist of editorial policy, marginally funny comedy website, TheSpoof.co.uk has announced that its wildly unpopular Mature Dating advertisements are to be replaced by more upmarket advertising campaigns featuring sexy Asian babes, and ho...
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Funny story: Bombastic 2012 Olympics about to become the greatest, most expensive Olympics ever; of course they're in England!

Bombastic 2012 Olympics about to become the greatest, most expensive Olympics ever; of course they're in England!

England, better known as the UK, are about to launch their version of the Olympics onto an innocent world of sports fans who enjoy people running, jumping, swimming, cycling, riding horses, playing silly buggars in swimming pools, etc, etc. But there...
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Funny story: Florida Bunny Killer says 'I was just making breakfast!'

Florida Bunny Killer says 'I was just making breakfast!'

WINTER HAVEN, FL (ABSNN) -A thirty-five year old Winter Haven, Florida man stands accused of serial murder today and faces years in prison. Reginald Owen Seer, Jr. claims the slaughter of the innocents was food preparation. His wife and Win...
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Funny story: AT&T Commercial Features Neurotic Teenage Stalker

AT&T Commercial Features Neurotic Teenage Stalker

AT&T has unveiled its latest TV commercial, "Silent Treatment." The spot is intended to celebrate the advantage of having AT&T's messaging plan. It opens with the new spokeswoman for AT&T, a neurotic teenage girl, sitting in her room...
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Funny story: Buddhist Admits Present Moment Not So Great

Buddhist Admits Present Moment Not So Great

After decades of Dharma talks, retreats, and solo meditation sittings - the sole aim of which was to fully experience the present moment - Buddhist Ken Foley finally admitted that the present moment was not so great. "I don't regret anything," say...
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Funny story: Mature Dating Woman Finds Romance In The Back Of White Transit Van

Mature Dating Woman Finds Romance In The Back Of White Transit Van

Veteran mature internet dating woman, Cindy Lott, 56, from Hackney has finally announced on her Arsebook wall that after six months of desperate searching, she finally struck gold and copped off with a garage mechanic in the back of a white Transit v...
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Funny story: French scientists: Heterosexual houseflies pair up and remain faithful

French scientists: Heterosexual houseflies pair up and remain faithful

A team of scientists at France's Lyons University has found that houseflies, just like humans, fall in love and live in twosomes. Unlike humans though who often remarry after the death of a spouse, houseflies find the loss of a partner so immense...
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Funny story: April Fools: Your Mother Is Dead

April Fools: Your Mother Is Dead

BREAKING (WTFM) - In the single most tasteless attempt at a joke fate could muster, your mother has died on April Fool's Day. You receive the call from your sister around 3:00 AM - a particularly sadistic time because of the fact that you...
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Funny story: Herbert Saddoh marries blow-up doll, first wife not happy

Herbert Saddoh marries blow-up doll, first wife not happy

Herbert Saddoh of Dorking has married his favourite blow-up doll, Cindy nee Mark Three, in a civic ceremony at Dorking Town Hall. Unfortunately, Saddoh is now being sued by his first wife, Cindy nee Mark Two, whom he failed to divorce prior to the se...
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Funny story: Miracle: Man's Memory Instantly Restored

Miracle: Man's Memory Instantly Restored

CHESTER, Pa. (WTFM) --- It was a hot, summer afternoon in mid-August, 1962, when a twelve-year-old Robert Tiller and his younger brother, Pete, decided they would bury a jar of pennies in their backyard. Two years later, they decided to dig it...
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Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E 1st April 2012 - with comments

Selected Political News for W/E 1st April 2012 - with comments

Monday 26th March: Topic: David Cameron - NHS Dementia is a national crisis like HIV and cancer, says David Cameron Source: The Telegraph The Prime Minister is likely to argue that dementia is a "scandal" being ignored, as he unveils a doubling in funding for research into the illness to £66 million by 2015. In a speech in central London, he will describe dementia as a "quiet crisis that stea...
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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 1st April 2012 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 1st April 2012 - with comments

Monday 26th March: Topic: This is Nottingham Poll "After watching Channel 4 show Coppers, has your opinion of Nottinghamshire Police..." Source: Coppers - Nottingham Poll results: Improved - 60% Worsened - 26% Remained unchanged - 14% Comment:Take a peep at the source link video, see what you think. I have no views to air on the subject, but if I do ever see policeman in my area who is n...
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Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 1st April 2012

My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 1st April 2012

Monday 26th March: * Up early as usual, encourage to be so by the chest pains, I got a cuppa then went on laptop to the Spoof, then made a humorous graphic, posting link to the Spoof forum. Pleased with myself, I paid a visit to the WC... to find I'd left the heater on all night once again! Monday 26th March: * Walked into the city to getbird seed. Got the bus home, got in... and wondered wh...
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Funny story: 40 One-liner views on Individual UK Politicians - old & new!

40 One-liner views on Individual UK Politicians - old & new!

(1) Ken Livingstone "I don't think he is a fool: but what's my opinion compared to that of millions of others!" (2) Nick Clegg "His supporters would follow him anywhere... mostly out of morbid curiosity!" (3) Ed Miliband "He doesn't let his mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own!" (4) Theresa May "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet!"...
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Funny story: Jackie Mason Forgives Gal pal for Alleged Assault

Jackie Mason Forgives Gal pal for Alleged Assault

Comedian Jackie Mason is now willing to forgive and forget what police say was an assault on him by his decades-younger girlfriend. Mason even joked about the case, using a slight variation on a famous line of the late Borsht Belt comedic genius Hen...
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Funny story: Life In A Parallel Universe

Life In A Parallel Universe

Scientists working at the National Radio Astronomy Observatory (known as the Very Large Array or VLA) near Magdelena, New Mexico called a news conference today to make a startling announcement. Following is a transcript: "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. My name is Dr Ellie Arroway, chief scientist and spokesperson for the NRAO here in New Mexico. We've called you here today to announce an...
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Funny story: Maryland Housewife Loses Lottery

Maryland Housewife Loses Lottery

Baltimore, MD - Despite six days of careful planning, Janet McNary learned Wednesday that she will not be receiving a lottery jackpot of over two-hundred million dollars. The 34-year-old McNary, a financially concerned housewife from the suburbs of...
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Funny story: Teen who crashed wedding found not guilty

Teen who crashed wedding found not guilty

The teenage boy who crashed the wedding of Chloe Moretz has been found not guilty of all charges against him. In summing up the judge, Ernest Borgnine, stated: 'This is the best damn show I have seen in ages, and I wish I had been there.' The b...
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Funny story: Joan Rivers Denies That Her And Rush Limbaugh Were Once Lovers

Joan Rivers Denies That Her And Rush Limbaugh Were Once Lovers

MANHATTAN - Joan Rivers was back at her old stomping grounds in the Big Apple visiting a couple of old friends; her gynecologist, Dr. Abdul Goldengrass and her cellulite specialist, Dr. Okaloosa Luluette Lickachevski. Rivers, who is known as "The...
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