Funny story: "He tried to bite me" - Teenage girl's horror as date with vampire goes wrong

"He tried to bite me" - Teenage girl's horror as date with vampire goes wrong

Leesa, 16, of Alabama today told of her shock when a date with a vampire almost ended in disaster. "I thought he would write poetry and say really deep things" she sobbed "but he wasn't like that at all. Then he got all fangy and tried to bite me...
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Funny story: Dodge-Chrysler lands $1.6 billion contract to build military SUV's - for China!

Dodge-Chrysler lands $1.6 billion contract to build military SUV's - for China!

Chicago, IL---Chrysler announced today that it's award winning manufacturer of sport utility vehicles, Dodge, is going to be building heavy duty, military versions of the Durango for the Chinese military. In a move to bolster the fledgling Dodge l...
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Funny story: Two World Trade Center to be world's biggest Windows logo?

Two World Trade Center to be world's biggest Windows logo?

Suggestions that the design of the new building at Two World Trade Center in New York looks like a giant Microsoft advert have been strenuously denied by the designers. London-based Foster + Partners have said that the sloping roof of the building i...
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Funny story: Dale Farm pikeys play Ecuador trump card

Dale Farm pikeys play Ecuador trump card

Essex - Urgent questions have appeared tonight about the Amazon Defence Coalition's possible role in the latest Dale Farm eviction scam Six million quid has been demanded by feckless illegals to move from their occupation of the precious Green Be...
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Funny story: Top TV show "The Hour" to return in half hour episodes

Top TV show "The Hour" to return in half hour episodes

BBC ratings winner 'The Hour' which starred her from Atonement, him from the Wire, her from Four Wedding and a Funeral, and John Keats will return in half hour episodes in the Autumn. Mr Repeats on me as well, from the august institution explaine...
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Funny story: Hit TV game show "Is this your paperclip?" to be replaced

Hit TV game show "Is this your paperclip?" to be replaced

Following the demise of 'Is this your Sheep?' the BBC has revealed that a similar game show is also on its last legs. 'Is this your Paperclip?' which is currently hosted by Dermot O'Leary will not have its contract renewed. The programme has been...
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Funny story: Sue Pollard cast as Lady Macbeth

Sue Pollard cast as Lady Macbeth

80's favourite Su Pollard is to be cast as Lady Macbeth in a fringe production of the Scottish play. The actress best known for her work in 'Hi De Hi', 'Oh, my Artichokes, Oh, My Giddy Aunt', 'Whoops there goes another one', 'Penny Crayon' and 'Oh...
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Funny story: Man is surprised that he cannot trust politicans, the media, or anything he reads

Man is surprised that he cannot trust politicans, the media, or anything he reads

Mr Numpty, from the Roger Hargreaves collection of Mr Men books has revealed, in a rare face to face interview that he is surprised that we as a society can no longer trust our politicians, or our media. The amorphous blob of yellow, wearing a sma...
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Funny story: Round 1: Harry Ramsden's defeated by American gluttons

Round 1: Harry Ramsden's defeated by American gluttons

ORLANDO - Harry Ramsden's, the famous British fish and chip restaurant, "bit off more than it could chew" with their recent venture into the United States market. The landmark entry of Ramsden's into Walt Disney World at Orlando, Florida was accompan...
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Funny story: Philippine captured giant croc is related to Godzilla!

Philippine captured giant croc is related to Godzilla!

The largest saltwater croc known to living man has been captured in the Philippines and after taking his genes off, it has now been established that he wears the same one's as Godzilla the T Rex did millions of years ago. The local people believe...
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Funny story: UK Politician's Suitable Anagrams - 2011

UK Politician's Suitable Anagrams - 2011

We present to you, anagrams of some of the crooks... I mean MP's of this wonderfully riot torn, nepotistic, and crumbling Nation. You will find some members of the Conservative Party (Anag: Vast carnivore type), New Labour Party (Anag: An we bar poultry), and the Liberal-Democrat Party (Anag: Cry bedlam Proletariat) David Cameron: Prime Minister (Tory-Coalition) 'Odd, I crave man' Nicola...
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Funny story: John Kerry not sure what he will do with all his money

John Kerry not sure what he will do with all his money

Washington--John Kerry is really rich and not sure what he should do with all his wealth. Should he give it to the poor, find ways to get the economy going by investing it, or find creative ways to shelter his income from the evil IRS? "I joined t...
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Funny story: Wales manager vows to bring forward Englands Euro embarrassment by 9 months

Wales manager vows to bring forward Englands Euro embarrassment by 9 months

Wales manager Gary Speed has outlined his determination to bring forward the inevitable embarrassment that awaits the England team at Euro 2012 by 9 months in defeating the Three Lions in this evenings qualifier at Wembley. The former Leeds midfie...
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Funny story: Masturbation provides links to blindness cure

Masturbation provides links to blindness cure

Paris, France: A 22 year old blind man has had his eyesight miraculously restored after an eight hour masturbatory session. Initially baffled, scientists think they may have now identified a health benefit stemming from the world's oldest handshake.
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Funny story: Lords' oral questions about 'Men Who Have Sex With Men-And-African-Communities'

Lords' oral questions about 'Men Who Have Sex With Men-And-African-Communities'

London - Today In Parliament's question time special has focused on a demographic hybrid previously omitted in pesky Local Authority gender preference-assignment questions. 'Men Who Have Sex With Men-And-African-Communities' has been identified as...
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Funny story: Rampant Pharmaceuticals sue state governors

Rampant Pharmaceuticals sue state governors

Rampant Pharmaceuticals are taking legal action against the Governors of Texas and Alaska afer these states banned their popular stiffening drug RIGID that outlasts Viagra and Cialis. The two Governors, Perry and Palin, are known affectionately...
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Funny story: Cameron Wants Gaddafi: Dead or Alive

Cameron Wants Gaddafi: Dead or Alive

David Cameron is keen to see the end of Mummar Gaddafi so that he can face his Tory Conference with the Colonel's head on a platter. Insiders at Tory HQ have for days been encouraging MI6 to take the second chance the PM is giving them to establis...
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Funny story: Brownian Motion Disproved

Brownian Motion Disproved

Every schoolchild will have, at some time, been shown Brownian Motion. Those little specks or motes dancing around on the surface of a liquid or even floating in the air. The original explanation was that jostling atoms are knocking these motes, c...
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Funny story: Celebrity chefs set to do new "Zoo dinners"

Celebrity chefs set to do new "Zoo dinners"

Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver and Anthony Worrall-Thompson are set to hit the TV screens this Autumn with a new show that follows them as they attempt to re-invent a fledgling Zoo's food. The three chefs began their quest in May 2011 after Splot Zoo...
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Funny story: Moron faces 21 charges in Parliamentary expenses fiddle

Moron faces 21 charges in Parliamentary expenses fiddle

Luton - A former Luton South Labour MP is to be indicted for £60,000 of dry rot fiddles at a Southampton home. Margaret Moran (sic) faces 15 false accounting and six forgery charges in what the CPS has described as a stellar career of milking the...
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Funny story: Hopes fade for Tasty Droitwich Harvest Festival 2011

Hopes fade for Tasty Droitwich Harvest Festival 2011

Worcestershire - Autumn gales have battered the ancient Spa town famous for its Dead Sea-comparable salinity and carnal - er..canal! - marina developments. This morning 75mp gusts decimated the local allotment society's show gardens sending severa...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton's Vagina Is Pissed Off

Paris Hilton's Vagina Is Pissed Off

Paris Hilton has once again proved what a shallow, calloused, self centered person she really is. Rumors have always abounded that Paris is a creature of popularity, only hanging out with the coolest of the cool. Once someone is, "not", instead of, "...
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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Will Be Watching Ex-Boyfriend Derek Hough When Dancing With The Stars Premiers

Cheryl Cole Will Be Watching Ex-Boyfriend Derek Hough When Dancing With The Stars Premiers

HOLLYWOOD - Season 13 of Dancing With The Stars will have it's season premier on September 19. The show which is one of the top ranked in the nation will return with Co-Hosts Tom "Jumpy" Bergeron and Brooke "Skinny Legs" Burke who says she wants t...
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Funny story: Vanessa Hudgens Addresses The Rumors About Her Brand New Tattoo

Vanessa Hudgens Addresses The Rumors About Her Brand New Tattoo

VENICE BEACH - One of the most widely known tattoo artist on the Left Coast is a tattooist known as Bong Bong. He has reportedly inked the bodies of some popular celebrities including Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, Eva Longoria, and Kat Von D. He...
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Funny story: Green Food Color in Gas Doubles Exxon Market Share

Green Food Color in Gas Doubles Exxon Market Share

Capitalizing on the huge amount of publicity given to "green energy", oil giant Exxon has doubled its market share by using food dye to physically color its gasoline green. The move has been accompanied by a fanfare of publicity around Exxon's "Cl...
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Funny story: Republican Office Worker Hits Horse Racing Trifecta Jackpot

Republican Office Worker Hits Horse Racing Trifecta Jackpot

Monmouth Park NJ: There is a new multi-millionaire in the Garden State today, as a New Jersey man hits it big on the sport of king's playing the trifecta. (A trifecta is a bet where the bettor must predict which horses in a race will finish first, se...
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Funny story: Libyan Townsmen Not Fooled by Giant Wooden Rabbit

Libyan Townsmen Not Fooled by Giant Wooden Rabbit

Bani-Walid, Libya - Citizens defending this stronghold of Muammar Ghadaffi thwarted a recent plot by members of the National Transitional Council (NTC) to infiltrate their city with a giant wooden rabbit. The rabbit, owned by the BBC, had been in...
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Funny story: Herman Cain's 999 Plan Nixed

Herman Cain's 999 Plan Nixed

The Tea Party has failed to support Republican hopeful Herman Cain's plan for tax reform. The plan, which calls for a 9% personal income tax, 9% federal sales tax, and 9% corporate tax, is referred to as the "999" plan. Despite the fact that this...
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