Funny story: Smaller Professional Soccer Pitches Being Considered By FIFA!

Smaller Professional Soccer Pitches Being Considered By FIFA!

Professional football stadiums will have to use much smaller pitches than are currently used for playing matches if FIFA, the governing body of the sport, passes a new rule currently being considered in Zurich. The idea to make the professional socce...
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Funny story: Michele Bachmann Admits That She Accidentally Voted For Chaz Bono On Dancing With The Stars

Michele Bachmann Admits That She Accidentally Voted For Chaz Bono On Dancing With The Stars

DETROIT - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour rolled into the Motor City where she hopes to pick up some votes from unemployed auto workers who wouldn't mind having a female president. As she spoke to a crowd of fourteen (14) tha...
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Funny story: Surprise Striker Selection For Manchester United Vs Basel

Surprise Striker Selection For Manchester United Vs Basel

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has announced a surprise selection for his named striker in the Champion's League match against Basel at Old Trafford. After losing stars Wayne Rooney and Javier Hernandez to injury, Ferguson was said to be...
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Funny story: Rosie O'Donnell Warns Jesse James That He Had Better Keep His Tattooed Hands Off Her New Sexy Girlfriend

Rosie O'Donnell Warns Jesse James That He Had Better Keep His Tattooed Hands Off Her New Sexy Girlfriend

NEW YORK CITY - Rosie O'Donnell just found out that Jesse James and Kat Von D are no longer together again for the third or fourth time this year. She quickly stated that "Messy" Jesse better keep his grungy tattooed hands off of her new girlfrien...
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Funny story: New, All-Nude Episode Of 'Star Trek' Discovered

New, All-Nude Episode Of 'Star Trek' Discovered

Hollywood, CA-- A new episode from the original 'Star Trek' series has turned up in a vault in Hollywood. It's actually a partial episode--and very controversial. Something happened in the middle of filming, and the show never made it to TV. The F...
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Funny story: Fukushima: The Musical

Fukushima: The Musical

The disaster at Fukushima, that saw much of the East coast of Japan destroyed and millions left homeless, is to be dramatised in a new musical production it was announced today. The all-star cast will include Justin Bieber as the forty-three year...
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Funny story: Border Patrol Serenades Janet Napolitano:

Border Patrol Serenades Janet Napolitano:

CHICKITIN: Dr. BILLINGSGATE wishes to thank Guy Lombardo for providing the inspiration for "The Immigration Song." It is a variation of "The Chicken Song" that was quite popular back in the '40's and '50's and was sung by the vocalist for Guy Lombardo's band. THE IMMIGRATION SONG Cock-a-doodle-doo, bless our illegal immigrants They bypass our borders the best they kin Sometimes nine an...
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Funny story: Cleggie's piles reappear after long absense

Cleggie's piles reappear after long absense

We are all very sad to hear that Deputy Prime Minister Clegg's piles are bleeding again. We heard it on the grapevine, please pardon the pun. The problem, which began during his public school days, has returned with a vengeance. The painful expres...
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Funny story: Global financial crisis a 'banking error'

Global financial crisis a 'banking error'

President of the International Monetary Fund Patsy Laggard has admitted that the Global Financial Crisis is a banking error. Speaking from her Washington DC office Ms Laggard explained: "Mai oui, but yes, we are vereee soreee, we made a beeg...
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Funny story: Crocodile Ejected From Cheapy Jet Plane

Crocodile Ejected From Cheapy Jet Plane

A crocodile has been ejected from a flight to Egypt. The Crocodile said he was just trying to go on holiday when he was picked up by the tail and thrown out of a window. He then tried to go on holiday on a boat but the captain of the ship threw...
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Funny story: 95% of House of Windsor 'on anti-psychotics or Valium' - report

95% of House of Windsor 'on anti-psychotics or Valium' - report

Statistics from the Royal Freak Hospital published today show everybody 'except the Duke of Gloucester and his family' are on the chemical cosh after massive misbehaviour issues. And latest recruit to the Nazi tribe Kate Middleton is thought to be...
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Funny story: David Cameron deeply regrets own goal at QPR

David Cameron deeply regrets own goal at QPR

Aston Villa fan David Cameron has expressed his regret and outrage after a late own goal by defender Richard Dunne cost his team 3 valuable points against QPR. "That donkey Dunne has let the whole country down and ruined my weekend" stated the Pr...
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Funny story: Wall Street raid is off target: cops arrest protesters instead of the perps

Wall Street raid is off target: cops arrest protesters instead of the perps

New York - A special police task force swooped down on Wall Street this morning to arrest hundreds of investment and high-finance executives accused of defrauding and possibly destroying the world's economic system. But the cops were distracted by...
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Funny story: Mexican kidnappers kidnap Dimitar Berbatov!

Mexican kidnappers kidnap Dimitar Berbatov!

Dimitar Berbatov has been kidnapped by Mexican kidnappers demanding that he remains on the bench at United and when allowed to play, play like he did Saturday, crap! The kidnappers are members of the dangerous, brutal and very nasty gang called: T...
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Funny story: Vikes Vow "No More Halftime Keggers"

Vikes Vow "No More Halftime Keggers"

A 3AM pity party turned into a press conference for one when Minnesota Vikings coach Leslie Frazier announced there would be no more halftime keg parties. "It's obviously interfering with our performance on the field," Frazier said. During the pr...
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Funny story: Boeing's greenest ever 787 Screamliner 'made from lightweight compost materials'

Boeing's greenest ever 787 Screamliner 'made from lightweight compost materials'

Chicago, Illinois - "Passengers can expect cabins with much greater humidity," Boeing's head of communications said today, "especially when the plane's windows are open over the Pacific Ocean!" The PR blurb issued by the aircraft manufacturer's US...
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Funny story: Local Pub Offers Delivery Service

Local Pub Offers Delivery Service

A village pub in the heart of Oxfordshire is to offer a free delivery service to the surrounding villages, in a bid to drum up some much needed trade. Badger Smeaton, landlord of the Mutilated Pig Inn and Carvery in Tumbledown Moreton, has seen tr...
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Funny story: Inventions that should be invented but won't be

Inventions that should be invented but won't be

In part four of this series, we continue our look at inventions that will probably never be invented, but should be. Invention One: Jiffy Bags with the bubbles filled with helium instead of nitrogen. This is a similar idea to filling car tyres with helium in an attempt to reduce weight that we saw last week. The biggest plus point with this particular approach, in that postage is very e...
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Funny story: Nibiru To Make Closest Approach To Earth This Wednesday

Nibiru To Make Closest Approach To Earth This Wednesday

Houston, TX-- There is grim news today from NASA headquarters about a star called Nibiru. NASA scientists have calculated that Nibiru will make its closest approach to earth within only 48 hours. NASA has already notified the military, and Presiden...
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Funny story: Freed hikers Bauer and Shourd announce wedding plans, Fattal pissed off

Freed hikers Bauer and Shourd announce wedding plans, Fattal pissed off

MANHATTAN, Ny.--Whether it was the ordeal that drove them together or not, Shane Bauer and Sarah Shourd, two of the three hikers who'd been arrested in Iran for allegedly spying, are getting married. Josh Fattal, the third hiker, is not taking his...
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Funny story: World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28

World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28

Clarke B Dingwall, the worlds tallest recorded dwarf, died last night in a tragic accident. Dingwall, 28, was last recorded at a height of 6'3", making him easily the tallest dwarf in the world, the next closest being Samuel N'gbab of Nigeria at a...
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Funny story: Travellers in Basildon still there

Travellers in Basildon still there

A week after the bailiffs arrived to evict a group of travellers from Basildon, the travellers are still there. "We're not going anywhere," said George Atasda, from the other side of a big wall. "We like it here." Currently, the law is against...
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Funny story: Chicago Gays welcome Christian prophet into their bars!

Chicago Gays welcome Christian prophet into their bars!

It seems that God, after losing many of his earthly flock (except the blue-rinse brigade) has decided to recruit in other areas because the Christian churches are pretty empty these days. He has sent his prophet, Andrew Mann (straight by the way)...
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Funny story: Charlie Sheen heading back to two and a half men

Charlie Sheen heading back to two and a half men

Two and a half men supremo, Chuck Lore, has announced that Charlie Sheen is heading back to the award winning sitcom to reprise his role as jingle writer, Charlie Harper. Sheen, who's on screen character was killed off, after a public falling out...
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Funny story: ABBA Changes Name to BAAB for New Album

ABBA Changes Name to BAAB for New Album

After decades as, Agnetha, Björn, Benny, and Anni-Frid, the members of ABBA have decided to re-name the group BAAB. "We have fell baad all of these years," said Agnetha, "That Bjorn and Benny are sandwiched in the middle. So we changed it to BAAB...
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Funny story: My Futile Search

My Futile Search

This is self-explanatory! My Futile Search I'm told there is talent in our political system But I've looked pretty hard and it seems that I've missed 'em I took myself off through the corridors of power It made me depressed and got worse by the hour 'Cos all of the members to whom I was presented Acted like kids or were clearly demented The place was just full of these crushing old bor...
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Funny story: Justin Theroux Tells Brad Pitt To Stop Talking About Jennifer Aniston and Concentrate On Angelina Jolie And The Bratty Half Dozen

Justin Theroux Tells Brad Pitt To Stop Talking About Jennifer Aniston and Concentrate On Angelina Jolie And The Bratty Half Dozen

NEW YORK CITY - Justin Theroux says that he has just about had enough of Brad Pitt chiming in with remarks regarding Jennifer Aniston. Brad dumped Aniston back in 2005 when he went off to film the motion picture Mr. & Mrs. Smith with Angelina...
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Funny story: The Reasons Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins Ended Their Relationship

The Reasons Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins Ended Their Relationship

LOS ANGELES - The star of the Twilight series Taylor Lautner and his Abduction co-star and girlfriend Lily Collins have just announced that they are no longer a couple. Speaking with an entertainment media reporter at the famed Grauman's Chinese T...
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Funny story: Obama Vs Barebottom Reaches the US Supreme Court

Obama Vs Barebottom Reaches the US Supreme Court

Washington DC: In late January 2013 the Supreme Court delayed hearing the Affordable Health Care for America Act (ObamaCare) individual mandate challenge and opted to hear Obama Vs Barebottom. The San Francisco CA City Council passed an ordinance...
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