Funny story: Elephant Found In Thriving Herefordshire Cabbage Patch

Elephant Found In Thriving Herefordshire Cabbage Patch

As Britain attempts to come to grips with a catastrophic cabbage crop, one smallholder from Hereford has reported that his single acre of land is yielding a record cabbage harvest, which he puts down to the mysterious appearance of an African bull el...
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Funny story: Relationship counselling for teenagers slammed

Relationship counselling for teenagers slammed

A new service offering relationship counselling for dating teenagers has been slammed by CHILD, the Children's Helpline In Lessoning Dependency. "Kids make and break relationships all the time," said Hillary Capillary. "It's part of growing up, l...
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Funny story: Cabbage Farmer Reduced To Begging In The Streets Of London

Cabbage Farmer Reduced To Begging In The Streets Of London

Horatio Hepplewhite, a cabbage farmer from Lincolnshire has resorted to holding out a begging bowl in the streets of London, following this year's catastrophic cabbage crop failure. "I was expecting to harvest about a hundred tons of cabbages," He...
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Funny story: UK Facing Catastrophic Cabbage Shortages

UK Facing Catastrophic Cabbage Shortages

Environmentalists and farmers issued an ominous statement on Sunday, to the effect that not only is the UK facing a double dip recession, but the nation is also likely to be blighted by a serious shortage of cabbages. One observer cited a shortage...
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Funny story: Governor Perry Loses Noodle While Noodling Catfish With His Noodle

Governor Perry Loses Noodle While Noodling Catfish With His Noodle

In Texas back in May, as thousands of teachers prepared to be layed off due to budget cuts Sen. Bob Deuell said he's never noodled, but that the bill needed to be passed for the "noodlers of Texas." What is noodling? It is simply one of the more b...
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Funny story: I'm a doctor. You're a doctor. Who's a doctor?

I'm a doctor. You're a doctor. Who's a doctor?

Doctorates A One-Act Play The curtain opens on a group of young students gathering around a rather old man downstage left. They are dressed as though they were from Ancient Greece. The surroundings are rather pastoral. Pupil 1: Tell us another story, Master. Pupils: Oh yes....please.....Yes, yes. A lesson.... Master: Well now....let me see...Ah! Yes! Pupil 2:...
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Funny story: Jackie Kennedy Obsessed With UFOs, Doctor Who

Jackie Kennedy Obsessed With UFOs, Doctor Who

Washington DC-- A new book about Jackie Kennedy is shedding an alien light on the mysterious former first lady. It turns out Jackie had only two interests in her life--flying saucers and Doctor Who. The intense obsession with both ruled her life...
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Funny story: Conservative Party Conference to Generate £27.4m for Manchester

Conservative Party Conference to Generate £27.4m for Manchester

It has been widely reported in the media (BBC, Telegraph, Manchester Evening News etc) that the current Conservative Party Conference will generate £27,000,000 for the local economy. A total of 13,000 delegates will each spend up to four days in t...
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Funny story: Illinois Man Captured by Amish Rebels Inside Iowa

Illinois Man Captured by Amish Rebels Inside Iowa

The State Department has confirmed that Illinois resident, Howard Johnson, has been captured and is being held for ransom by renegade Amish rebels in southern Iowa. According to a statement from the department, Mr. Johnson was enjoying a leisurely...
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Funny story: Draconian karma alert as Comet Giacobini-Zimmer-Frame meteor shower set for Yom Kippur

Draconian karma alert as Comet Giacobini-Zimmer-Frame meteor shower set for Yom Kippur

Tel Aviv - Will Jerusalem really be destroyed by a massive comet-induced earthquake on the Jewish Day of Atonement next week? A 108 year-old scare story from The Protocol of the Elders of Zion is causing widespread paranoia ahead of Yom Kippur nex...
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Funny story: Shaun the Sheep arrested in police sting

Shaun the Sheep arrested in police sting

Aardman Animations was today holding crisis talks with BBC executives after it was revealed the star of their award-winning series Shaun the Sheep had been charged with drug offences. Shaun, 28, claims he was the victim of entrapment when police r...
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Funny story: Cameron Wants Total EU Ban On Plastic Bags - Gas Companies Behind It Claims Ex-Minister!

Cameron Wants Total EU Ban On Plastic Bags - Gas Companies Behind It Claims Ex-Minister!

Due to the worsening economic situation, mainly in Britain but also affecting some other parts of Europe, David Cameron is to urge Brussels to ban totally the use of plastic bags throughout the European Union. Speaking by telephone from one of his...
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Funny story: Botox-Facelift Woman Sued by Repressed Emotions

Botox-Facelift Woman Sued by Repressed Emotions

Jocelyn Wildestein, the woman famous for spending tens of thousands of dollars on facelift cosmetic surgery and Botox enhancements is being sued by her repressed emotions. In a statement released earlier today top prosecuting attorney Mike 'you're...
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Funny story: Labour Party Conference Stolen in Liverpool

Labour Party Conference Stolen in Liverpool

Ed Miliband has admitted at the end of Labour Party Conference that holding it in Liverpool had been a bad idea. "We'd always assumed that the image of Liverpudlians as thieving scoundrels who'd sell their granny's cardigan in winter was nothing m...
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Funny story: UK obese musical genius farts Mozarts "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" perfectly!

UK obese musical genius farts Mozarts "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" perfectly!

A musical genius has been discovered farting Mozart's symphonies (and others) perfectly. He is an obese gentleman from Hampstead and discovered that he had received this God-given talent by farting on the bog of a local McDonald's restaurant after de...
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Funny story: Advice to anyone visiting Nottingham's once peaceful, picturesque Arboretum

Advice to anyone visiting Nottingham's once peaceful, picturesque Arboretum

The following statement was given to the Nottingham police, by a 65 year old, 5'3" tall, made redundant, overweight, bald, bespectacled, hearing aids wearing, depressed, cardiac suffering, arthritic, lesser endowed man, after he'd decided to take a walk for the first time in years through the Nottingham Arboretum, to feed the ducks, in an effort to cheer himself up a bit. On Friday 1st October,...
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Funny story: Myanmar Dumps China And Embraces Paris Hilton

Myanmar Dumps China And Embraces Paris Hilton

Nyapyidaw - In a bizarre twist of events the south east Asian nation of Myanmar has dumped it's longstanding trading partner China in favor of American celebutante the stunning Paris Hilton. The split between Myanmar and China made headlines this...
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Funny story: Greece declared bankrupt, relaunches as Greece AFC

Greece declared bankrupt, relaunches as Greece AFC

Greece have finally bitten the bullet and accepted a compulsory voluntary agreement. This is the first stage in bankruptcy for the country. The Greek National Government has taken the bold move after seeing how British football teams deal with...
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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifteen

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifteen

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and poverty, that started in August 1947 Chapter 30 - The Rats I was working at the Nottingham Cooperative Society's Co-op House on Upper Parliament Street, in the food hall, as general dogsbody, and goffer. I was sent down to the cellars below, to lay mouse traps and rat poison, in an effort clear the place of the lit...
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Funny story: 11 Essential things to tell your child, to ensure they fit in with other UK kids!

11 Essential things to tell your child, to ensure they fit in with other UK kids!

Eleven Essential things to tell your child, to ensure they fit in with other kids! 1) Explain to him/her/them: How to fire bomb a Police Station without getting caught. 2) Explain to him/her/them: Drill it in that they must use the F & MF words in every sentence spoken. 3) Explain to him/her/them: If you catch him/her/them paying attention in school or at home, point out the rarity...
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Funny story: New 'Carry On Up the Coalition' film details!

New 'Carry On Up the Coalition' film details!

Film Credits for the new comedy movie 'Carry On Up the Coalition' have been released to the public in advance, in an effort to appeal to the voters who did not vote for the Coalition to govern the country, and that includes everyone on the electoral role. This movie was filmed in Nottingham, where the unemployment and firearm crimes are second only to London, and it was cheaper to make there, a...
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Funny story: Boston-area parents sue Red Sox for child cruelty

Boston-area parents sue Red Sox for child cruelty

BOSTON, Mass.--World Championships of '04 and '07 be damned: scores of parents have filed a joint lawsuit against the Boston Red Sox for scarring yet another generation of fans. The wheels fell off in the month of September, leading to a 7-19 reco...
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Funny story: Justin Timberlake Caught Cheekily Cheating On Jessica Biel With Scarlett Johansson

Justin Timberlake Caught Cheekily Cheating On Jessica Biel With Scarlett Johansson

NEW YORK CITY - Justin Timberlake seems to have taken the title of Cad With The Nads from Jesse James as he was spotted in a compromising situation with Iron Man 2 actress Scarlett Johansson. Timberlake who has just recently returned back into the...
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Funny story: Obamacoccus Outbreak Hits the USA

Obamacoccus Outbreak Hits the USA

Atlanta GA: The Center for Democratic Containment (CDC) announced that the Obamacoccus virus, sometimes called the Democratic liberal left disease, has made a comeback after a 30 year absence. The new vicious strain of the virus is known to cause hum...
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Funny story: Street Cleaners Blamed For Effects Of So-Called 'Global Warming'

Street Cleaners Blamed For Effects Of So-Called 'Global Warming'

In a sensational outburst, local Conservative MP Harold Smedley-Martin-Lipps, told a public committee that the cause of rising sea levels was nothing at all to do with global warming, but could in fact be laid firmly at the feet of Britain's street c...
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Funny story: Fat Bottomed Girls, You Really Do Make The World Go Round, Fact

Fat Bottomed Girls, You Really Do Make The World Go Round, Fact

A study by leading scientists has confirmed that fat bottomed girls really do make the world go round. The lyrics to the popular Queen hit were always taken with a pinch of salt, rather like the fries that the name checked stars of the rock classi...
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