Funny story: Chris Christie Complains About Vanity Towels at YMCA

Chris Christie Complains About Vanity Towels at YMCA

New Jersey - Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey was hear complaining loudly in the lobby of his local YMCA. The issue? Vanity towels. "He was upset to find out that he was not losing as much girth as he thought," said an employee on condition o...
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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Twenty

A True Diary of Woe - Part Twenty

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and poverty, starting in August 1947 Chapter 36 - Twenty feet below Prince Charles Yes, there I was, lying in a bed in the busy Ward E19 in the Queens Medical Centre, just after having had surgery, to repair a hernia, and treat prostate cancer. On the floor directly above the ward, was the ward where that Prince Char...
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Funny story: Iowa Governor to Pull the Plug on Grandma

Iowa Governor to Pull the Plug on Grandma

Des Moines (AP) According to Iowa's Commission on Aging, Governor Terry Branstad's six-month old Pull the Plug on Grandma initiative is exceeding all expectations. This Des Moines pilot program, enacted last March to address the slothful behavior of...
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Funny story: Carpe Diem - Dullness And Mediocrity Sieze The Day In Satire Hell - Says Local Man

Carpe Diem - Dullness And Mediocrity Sieze The Day In Satire Hell - Says Local Man

In a totally uninspiring speech this evening at Grosvenor House, self styled and absolutely unfunny local man, Martin Shuttlecock (Who apparently faces a raft of real life issues, such as having false teeth, a drink problem, a wonky knee, homosexual...
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Funny story: Mother Nature Brings An End To Occupy Wall Street Protests

Mother Nature Brings An End To Occupy Wall Street Protests

New York, NY-- Swarms of fleas and other vermin from Mother Nature have brought a quick end to the Occupy Wall Street protests in Zuccotti Park. All of the dirty protesters found themselves being eaten alive by insect pests and hungry rats. Mother...
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Funny story: Local Man Claims To Have Been "Sloffensibly Blurred" - Whatever That Means

Local Man Claims To Have Been "Sloffensibly Blurred" - Whatever That Means

Local man, wastrel, ne'er do well, habitual drunkard, gambler, closet homosexual, dwarf, malcontent, former football hooligan, philanderer, alleged rapist, and alleged torturer of puppies and kittens, Martin Shuttlecock, this evening announced that h...
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Funny story: Local Man In Colonic Irrigation Nightmare

Local Man In Colonic Irrigation Nightmare

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, YouTube megadrunk, alcoholic word slurrer, wobbly bike riding runner-up (2008) and alleged 'dental bridge or denture victim' got the shock of his life today after going for his first colonic irrigation session at the Dr...
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Funny story: Oliver Letwin, the phantom rubbish bin thrower of olde London Town...

Oliver Letwin, the phantom rubbish bin thrower of olde London Town...

Westminster, LONDON: For years, Oliver Letwin, the Conservative MP has been hiding a secret. Many have known about it, but have not been able to disclose the details. Some have tried, but these details have been binned in public parks all over Lon...
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Funny story: FA Wayne Rooney Appeal, "Give Wayne a FIVE match ban!"

FA Wayne Rooney Appeal, "Give Wayne a FIVE match ban!"

FA Headquarters, Wembley, LONDON: Following the shock decision to 'ave our main striker Wayne 'Roonstone' Rooney, banned for three matches after his alleged lashing out at opposition forces, The FA have been deliberating whether to appeal against th...
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Funny story: England's Rugby Flops beat Australia at World Dwarf Throwing Championship.

England's Rugby Flops beat Australia at World Dwarf Throwing Championship.

England's woeful Rugby flops were celebrating last night after defeating reigning champions Australia at the World Dwarf Throwing Championship in Adelaide. After failing to progress beyond the Rugby World Cup quarter finals the England team were d...
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Funny story: Local Man Caught Up In Bicycle Without A Saddle Fiasco

Local Man Caught Up In Bicycle Without A Saddle Fiasco

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today became involved in a bizarre series of verbal exchanges after parking and locking up his bicycle in the local Co-Op car park. It seems that as Shuttlecock was in store, stocking up on Stella Artois in order to fue...
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Funny story: Seattle Superhero is not Superman, Batman or Spiderman!

Seattle Superhero is not Superman, Batman or Spiderman!

It has been confirmed that the Seattle Superhero is not Superman, Batman, Spiderman, or any of those other superheroes who people look to to save their miserable lives from the "baddies". Seattle's Superhero is just plain old Benjamin Fodor, alias...
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Funny story: Major League Baseball fines fans

Major League Baseball fines fans

Cracking down on unauthorized discussions, Major League Baseball began fining fans having "unauthorized discussions" of the games. "It's right there in the disclaimer," said Roger "Happy" Garris, MLB's legal representative. " 'Any rebroadcast, re...
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Funny story: Dream role for Rooney

Dream role for Rooney

Wayne Rooney has been offered a part in a west end show when the current football season ends and according to close friends he's considering it. "He's out of the first three qualifying games in the European championships so yes he has time to...
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Funny story: TV Sale: Hurry While Stocks Last!

TV Sale: Hurry While Stocks Last!

An offer to provide a TV set free for just the post and package of the set is being studied by a Government Committee set up to look into this and that. 'Rather more this than that' said Chief Executive, Moonie Ponkers. The Government wants the Th...
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Funny story: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - Kristen Stewart Talks About The Robotic Baby

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - Kristen Stewart Talks About The Robotic Baby

BEVERLY HILLS - Kristen Stewart was recently spotted in The Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive getting her hair done. She was overheard talking to her hairdresser FuFi Fondue, noted hair stylist to the stars, about her recent movie The Twilight Sa...
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Funny story: Dump in the park nails Oliver Letwin

Dump in the park nails Oliver Letwin

London - The time honored tradition invariably sees caught-short dumpsters reach for a handfull of grass from parks' prolific stinging nettle patches - unless of course some other, more absorbent material is handy. Today red-faced Cabinet ministe...
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Funny story: Banks Offer Bonuses to Protesters

Banks Offer Bonuses to Protesters

In an unexpected development Banks are offering high interest rates to protesters aiming to occupy the London Stock Exchange. It is thought that this crafty move will take the wind out of the protesters sails as they grab this opportunity to get rich...
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Funny story: New Filing System Shock

New Filing System Shock

Revealed today has been the new filing system used by Cabinet Ministers to deal with their correspondence. In future all documents are to be filed in dustbins marked RUBBISH. This is to economise on space in Minister's heads and to deal with cons...
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Funny story: Macca finds a new bride

Macca finds a new bride

Ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has married for the third time to a African Zulu slave, whose name is, apparently, Judy (hey Judy!). McCartney revealed that he had been dating this nineteen year old waif for a couple of months and was looking forwar...
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Funny story: Dictionary definition of 'religion' has changed in the latest edition

Dictionary definition of 'religion' has changed in the latest edition

The religions of the world are finally united thanks to a change in the definition of the word religion in the latest edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. The new definition reads: Religion (N): Any one of a set of delusional belief systems...
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Funny story: Google continues to misspell every Apple related word in light of new iPhone4S

Google continues to misspell every Apple related word in light of new iPhone4S

GOOGLE EARTH - There's one story that says Google is intentionally trying to damage Apple's name and sales revenue. There's another that says there are normal glitches in any search engine. Either way, the iPhone4S goes on sale today whether you hate it or glitch it. But this story is not about Apple and its pure brilliance. It's about Google and their spell check. For years, Google has tried...
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Funny story: David Beckham tells wife he wants to be Tiger Woods for Halloween

David Beckham tells wife he wants to be Tiger Woods for Halloween

LOS ANGELES - Star soccer player David Beckham told his wife that he wanted to dress up as Tiger Woods for Halloween. It had been in Beckham's mind ever since he met the golfer at a water-polo competition. Sources indicate that Victoria Beckham t...
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Funny story: World Bank decides to bail out Blackberry after new iPhone4S release

World Bank decides to bail out Blackberry after new iPhone4S release

WASHINGTON D.C. - The international financial institution sought for the first time in its history to bail out a private company whose revenue is arguably the size of ten small nations. Normally, it only lends to rich countries whom can afford to not...
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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Nineteen

A True Diary of Woe - Part Nineteen

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and poverty, starting in August 1947 Chapter 35 - Vehicular Venialia's Having owned many different types of motorbikes for many years, I thought it a good idea to buy a three-wheeler car, that I could drive with legally, on my motorbike licence. I eventually got a Reliant Robin (brown), W reg. Apart from still wanting...
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Funny story: Pharmaceutical Giant Chooses to Name its Next Drug Medication Hank William Jr.

Pharmaceutical Giant Chooses to Name its Next Drug Medication Hank William Jr.

A pharmaceutical giant has announced it will use Hank Williams Jr. as the name of their next drug medication on their list of narcotic experiments. Since the inception of the company, the only other health care product that came close to sounding...
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Funny story: Lady Googoo gagged by Lady Gaga

Lady Googoo gagged by Lady Gaga

An animated character from popular children's website, Moshi Monsters, has had a gagging order from international pop diva, Lady Gaga. "We're a little surprised," said Moshi Monster creator, and the brains behind Googoo, Sue Perb. "Although the na...
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Funny story: Kelly Osbourne Rekindles Her Nasty Feud With Christina Aguilera

Kelly Osbourne Rekindles Her Nasty Feud With Christina Aguilera

QUEENS, New York - Kelly Osbourne was in Queens visiting an old high school friend when she ran into Ashburn Wasabi a reporter for The Right Coast Illustrated Revue. Wasabi was having dinner with his girlfriend at a local Shanghi Sue's Sushi Sandw...
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Funny story: Multiple sources confirm that Iran behind assassination plot, condom factory among targets for retaliation

Multiple sources confirm that Iran behind assassination plot, condom factory among targets for retaliation

TEHRAN, Iran--Once again, Iran is in the shit. Only a few weeks after two American hikers were finally freed from captivity in Iran, multiple sources have confirmed that Iranian-based individuals plotted to kill the Saudi ambassador to the U.S., Adel...
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