Funny story: Eurozone crisis: War breaks out!

Eurozone crisis: War breaks out!

As a response to the escalating finance crisis in the European Union, Germany and France have declared war on each other. "It's the only thing we can think of," said German Chancellor, and now Fuhrer Angela Merkel. "We've tried everything else, so...
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Funny story: German Speaking Sepp Blatter Backs Down Over Poppy Ruckus

German Speaking Sepp Blatter Backs Down Over Poppy Ruckus

Sepp Blatter, the German speaking head of FIFA, originally stated that the England National football team could not wear poppies on their football kits during their international match on Saturday. "This has nothing to do with Germany losing the w...
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Funny story: Shocking Survey Result - Most People Use The Internet To Access Porn

Shocking Survey Result - Most People Use The Internet To Access Porn

As shocking as it may be, exhaustive survey results have revealed that the vast majority of internet users only use the facility to access internet pornography. It appears that in this enlightened day and age, the casual observer would rather watch s...
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Funny story: Vlinsky Modern Times

Vlinsky Modern Times

Greetings! Your trusted pal Maltram here with more stories of captivation from our Island of Vlinsky. Today, story of painful misfortunes for your beguilement. Enjoy my faithful friends. Just about one year ago Georgy Pestramovic (44), Vlinsky, fell down a flight of stairs, breaking his arm and two front teeth which had only recently grown back. To add to this he also badly burned his hand o...
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Funny story: Now Romney Declares His Sexual Harassment By Cain

Now Romney Declares His Sexual Harassment By Cain

In another shocking turn of events promising to further mess up the primary field, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney has come forward with allegations that Republican frontrunner and former Godfather's Pizza czar, Herman Cain, sexually harass...
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Funny story: Stamp Collecting: By J.R. Henty

Stamp Collecting: By J.R. Henty

I started my stamp collection in 1945, the first stamp I purchased was a Penny Black that my Great Great Great Grandfather sold to me for a penny. Then, I got another stamp, and another one, and another one, and that's how it became my collection proper. I put them in stamp albums, spending hours indexing big stamps, small stamps, medium stamps, stamps from every country in the world, small...
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Funny story: Driving test pass rates up amid claims of dumbing down

Driving test pass rates up amid claims of dumbing down

The Vehicle and Driver Licensing Agency (VDLA) have announced that pass rates for their driving licence exams are up to 98%. Pass rates have risen every year since 1970, which the agency claims are "an indication of its exceptional teaching of drivin...
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Funny story: Fly Fishing: By J.R. Harty

Fly Fishing: By J.R. Harty

I 'ave bin a-fishin' for many years. I has fly fished in every stream an' lake aroun' thar country. Ev'ry one of me flies 'as bin made by me, rolled on me leg, hours an hours an hours of bendin' an' a-twining 'til I gits it reet. Then, there's me rods, 'undreds of em I ave, big ones, small ones, medium ones, ones wiv small rings, ones wiv big rings, ones wiv medium rings. Forty nine ye'rs I...
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Funny story: Times crossword baffles Romanian immigrants!

Times crossword baffles Romanian immigrants!

Romanian immigrants who managed to cross the great divide, 25 miles from there to here, illegally, and after being round-up are being given the chance to stay in the UK if they can fathom out one Times crossword in 48 hours. Otherwise they will be se...
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Funny story: The Oscars Plagued by Loss of Another Guest Host; First, Ghadafi; now, Murphy. Who next?

The Oscars Plagued by Loss of Another Guest Host; First, Ghadafi; now, Murphy. Who next?

Now that Eddie Murphy has bowed out as the host for next year's Academy Awards telecast, the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences is again looking for someone who is able to deliver viewers to the most-boring Hollywood event of the year. T...
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Funny story: Mafia To Offer Berlusconi A Bail Out

Mafia To Offer Berlusconi A Bail Out

La Cosa Nostra, a Sicilian based business organisation have offered to step in to prevent Italy from slumping into financial meltdown. It is widely believed that the Mafia have offered the mother country a bailout package that the troubled nation...
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Funny story: Herman Cain - "I Have No Memory of Ever Being the Head of the National Restaurant Association"

Herman Cain - "I Have No Memory of Ever Being the Head of the National Restaurant Association"

Washington - In response to new allegations of sexual misconduct while the head of the National Restaurant Association, GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain said today he has no recollection of ever being the head of the National Restaurant Associati...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Denied Human Nature by Doctor in drug Thriller

Michael Jackson Denied Human Nature by Doctor in drug Thriller

Michael Jackson's doctor has been found guilty of manslaughter. Apparently, the doctor over-prescribed the King of Pop and told him 'Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough'. He was Working Day And Night, so the doctor thought he needed loads. The rest is HIStory. When asked about this, the medic replied 'I Can't Help It'. The evil physician was having a dull life at the time, and wanted publicity, thin...
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Funny story: Pope John Paul II still waiting for second miracle

Pope John Paul II still waiting for second miracle

Vatican--Pope John Paul II is still waiting for the second miracle to propel him to sainthood, and he is getting nervous that good Roman Catholics might have forgotten him. "It is real easy for a dead man to be forgotten, but I thought I lived an...
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Funny story: Modern Warfare 3 Traps; Beware the Kardashian IED

Modern Warfare 3 Traps; Beware the Kardashian IED

Hot on the heels of recently announced cheats and hidden super weapons for MW3 including barber shop head trimmers and the Dangerfield gas weapon, gamers have also found several traps that lure your shooter into an unrecoverable situation, the most n...
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Funny story: Bazaar Behavior: US Plans the World's Biggest Yard Sale in Iraq

Bazaar Behavior: US Plans the World's Biggest Yard Sale in Iraq

Baghdad - Iraq's capital city has never seen a shopping bazaar like this. As the US military starts to withdraw from Iraq, it's organizing the world's largest yard sale to liquidate its surplus of equipment and supplies in the Middle East. Col. Ch...
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Funny story: No Puppies says Blatter

No Puppies says Blatter

Fifa President and self appointed ruler of football Slap (me on the head) Blatter won't back down in the poppy scandal. The man who should be at home smoking a pipe and wearing slippers won't listen to anyone on the matter. "You want to wear lit...
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Funny story: Border Control Balls Up

Border Control Balls Up

Pressure is mounting on the Home Office to tighten up border controls after revelations that orders were given to reduce passport checks at major airports. Earlier, the Home Secretary answered questions in the House of Commons about the controver...
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Funny story: Johnny Robinson - Beaten But Unbowed On X-Factor

Johnny Robinson - Beaten But Unbowed On X-Factor

That's all folks. Johnny Robinson, the slightly effeminate yet absolutely charming gentleman, favourite of gay British satirists was finally voted off the X-Factor this evening. Voted off in favour of somebody with ripped fishnets and a hairy face.
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Funny story: NBA Plantation Workers Still Prefer the Aston Martin DB9

NBA Plantation Workers Still Prefer the Aston Martin DB9

NBA player attorney Jeffrey Kessler asserted yesterday, that his represented union based sports-entertainment employees were simply underpaid "plantation workers". Premium auto dealers around the U.S. might disagree, given recent sales of elite auto...
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Funny story: NASA Renames YU55 Asteroid to Kardashian-31

NASA Renames YU55 Asteroid to Kardashian-31

Taking advantage of previously released news events and an internet search frenzy that mixed YU55 asteroid news with a Kim Kardashian doctor visit, NASA has decided to take advantage of the added publicity by changing the name of the asteroid to Kard...
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Funny story: Modern Warfare 3 Hidden Dangerfield Weapon Found

Modern Warfare 3 Hidden Dangerfield Weapon Found

Following yesterday's revelation that four super weapon "cheats" were embedded in MW3 around the streets of New York, the oddest weapon, a toxic gaseous ghost of Rodney Dangerfield was reportedly located late last night. Found by two gamers workin...
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Funny story: UFO mothership snaffles up Russia's Phobos probe

UFO mothership snaffles up Russia's Phobos probe

Bloodyvostock - A $160 million Zenit-2SB rocket-powered Phobos-Grunt probe has been gobbled up by a 'massive mother******' just outside the Van Allen Belt distraught Russian space agency sources said today. The huge UFO mothership is known to lurk...
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Funny story: Mississippi "Personhood" Plebiscite Rejected

Mississippi "Personhood" Plebiscite Rejected

Jackson - In a rare and unprecedented show of moxie, Mississippi voters turned back a referendum establishing life at acquaintance, as well as denying all forms of contraception except abstinence, solitary confinement, jerkin the gherkin and spousal...
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Funny story: Blackpool not among England and Wales's clean beaches

Blackpool not among England and Wales's clean beaches

A RECORD nine out of 10 English and Welsh beaches meet new EU standards for water quality - but ­Blackpool's are not among them. The resort's central and south beaches failed to match basic cleanliness standards, as did those at Llandudno in C...
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Funny story: Euro Appeal

Euro Appeal

An urgent message has gone out from the European Central Bank for paper to print billions of euros in an effort to stave off financial disaster and the end of the euro as a currency. Tree felling in Scandanavia is at record levels, endangering eff...
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Funny story: Frankie Cocozza's drug stash seized: It's just sherbet

Frankie Cocozza's drug stash seized: It's just sherbet

X-Factor producers have re-instated disgraced contestant Frankie Cocozza after a police report concluded that the 400g of white powder found in his possession was in fact sherbet. The beehive-sporting party animal apparently had no idea that he h...
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Funny story: The Sun to print THE TRUTH!

The Sun to print THE TRUTH!

The Sun newspaper is finally ready to start printing true news stories after years of making things up. "We've decided to take a new line on reporting and start telling the truth. It's early days yet and we'll have to see how our readers feel abou...
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Funny story: UFO falling from sky is actually the U.S. economy

UFO falling from sky is actually the U.S. economy

An unidentified flying object was spotted slowly falling from the sky nearly five years ago. The nature of the object has been under scrutiny since it was first seen by a Georgia homeless man. To some the object was a chance to learn about the un...
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Funny story: Pat Robertson Tells Christians "Don't Be Rebellious"

Pat Robertson Tells Christians "Don't Be Rebellious"

Reporter: "Do you think that Christians should get involved in the protests going on down on Wall Street?" Pat Robertson: "In my opinion, these protester down there on Wall Street are just plain rebellious. Christians should have nothing to do with anything like that. It'll just give us all a bad reputation." Reporter: "So you are saying that you don't think that Jesus would have had anythin...
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Funny story: Row Row Row your boat

Row Row Row your boat

World leaders are to invest in rowing machines as the 'new energy saver'. Its thought every household in the Western world will be given a rowing machine and some even two or three depending on the size of the house. "Energy is often wasted by p...
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Funny story: Herman Cain Says If These White Women Keep Accusing Him of Stuff He's Gonna Quit The GOP Presidential Race

Herman Cain Says If These White Women Keep Accusing Him of Stuff He's Gonna Quit The GOP Presidential Race

CHATTANOOGA - Herman Cain brought his Republican presidential campaign into Chattanooga, Tennessee, the town where Cousin Connie's Confederate-Style Cornbread was first baked back in 1864. He spoke before a half-cheering crowd of 22 in the parking...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Nancy Grace Is Finally Sent On Her Merry Way

Dancing With The Stars: Nancy Grace Is Finally Sent On Her Merry Way

HOLLYWOOD - Television legal commentator Nancy Grace is the latest contestant to be sent home on Dancing With The Stars. Grace who told reporters that she really and truly lasted a lot longer than she ever dreamed she would said that she enjoyed g...
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Funny story: The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro

The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro

TORONTO, Canada - The director of The Toronto Zoo, Pierre F. Toulouse has stated that a recent story about two gay zoo penguins has ignited quite a firestorm. Mr. Toulouse told Taffeta Kixx of iRumors that the zoo purchased two male African pengui...
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Funny story: Gloria Allred Says Herman Cain "A Discredit To His Race"

Gloria Allred Says Herman Cain "A Discredit To His Race"

SCOTTSDALE - Herman Cain reached out to the Nation this afternoon in an effort to put behind him allegations that he put his hand up Sharon Bialek's skirt while attempting to go where no man had ever gone before. Saying unequivocably that Ms. Bial...
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