Funny story: Richard Dawkins Converts To Islam

Richard Dawkins Converts To Islam

In recent years Richard Dawkins has made a mark for himself as the world's foremost atheist and evolutionary evangelist, however it has come to light that the formerly staunch critic of religion has now undergone a full conversion to Islam. "In re...
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Funny story: Inflation is rising fast, say economists

Inflation is rising fast, say economists

Economists are turning to cosmologists to keep track of inflation, it is rising that fast. "It's going up so quickly," said Esme Duvet, economist for the London School of Economics Economy Department, "that we've been told that future economists w...
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Funny story: Grossbook - the new social network website for fatties is launched

Grossbook - the new social network website for fatties is launched

Today saw the launch of Grossbook, the new social network site specially for the clinically obese, overeaters and the world's general fast-food junkies. Jane Lardbucket, a 32 stone professional eater from Glasgow had the idea when she was trying t...
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Funny story: Dog Sh*t Sniffers out in force in London

Dog Sh*t Sniffers out in force in London

The Government has unveiled its latest weapon against the rising tide of dog owners who do not pick up after their dogs have placed one on the pavement or in the park. The roll of the sniffers will be to sniff the dog turd, and using highly traine...
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Funny story: Too Soon? A New Study Says Never

Too Soon? A New Study Says Never

A new study from Oxbridge University has shown that when it comes to comedy, it can never be too soon. The study, which was conducted in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, examined the reactions of 150 parents when told a joke about their newborn's l...
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Funny story: Fruit Bats can not be trusted

Fruit Bats can not be trusted

Bastards, that about sums them up. They eat fruit all day and night, then shit where they hang. "What's the problem?", You may ask, I will fukin' tell you mate! When your bed is directly under them, it don't bode well because the detritus sticks to clothing and skin. After a night of being shit on, I resemble a leper that has been in a nude paintball fight. Covered in it, I am. Then, the li...
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Funny story: Man Backs Down in Internet Argument

Man Backs Down in Internet Argument

It was reported today that a man was seen 'backing down' in an 'internet argument'. He has since been arrested for performing the said 'act' in an open forum, often visited by children. The incident took place between the hours of midnight and 2a...
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Funny story: Inflation affects "It's A Pound" shops

Inflation affects "It's A Pound" shops

Due to rising inflation, "It's A Pound" shops throughout the UK are having to consider major changes to their business. There are many different chains of "It's A Pound" shops, including the original "It's A Pound", "I Can't Believe This Only Cost...
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Funny story: Dick Cheney Writes In His Book That He Had Nothing To Do With The Weapons Of Mass Destruction But Reveals Who Did

Dick Cheney Writes In His Book That He Had Nothing To Do With The Weapons Of Mass Destruction But Reveals Who Did

KEYSTONE, South Dakota - Former Vice-President Dick Cheney was visiting The Mount Rushmore National Memorial where he was accompanied by his long time gardener Chang Fu Bang. Chang Fu has been employed by Cheney for 40 years. In fact, Mr. Bang nam...
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Funny story: Human crap found inside St Paul's

Human crap found inside St Paul's

London - Pikey elements among the ragbag of Occupy protesters have been blamed for taking a dump on the red carpet at St Paul's. Clerics wielding disinfectant, mops and rubber waders are said to be fuming after human waste was discovered near the...
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Funny story: IAEA Iran's Leader calls for Nukes in His Book!

IAEA Iran's Leader calls for Nukes in His Book!

This week Secretary Clinton said "We don't even know who is in charge of Iran." We don't even know who is in charge of Iran? What is the CIA'S budget? Isn't General Petraeus supposed to be the wunderkind? The IAEA is the International Atomic Energ...
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Funny story: Vatican City Steps In To Avert Economic Armageddon

Vatican City Steps In To Avert Economic Armageddon

In a week that has seen the leaders of the most powerful countries in the world skitting around like loose sheep on a motorway, one of the most powerful and least understood nation states has finally made a decisive move. As the Eurozone countrie...
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Funny story: Rick Pitino Unleashes his controversial Chicken's Nest Defense.

Rick Pitino Unleashes his controversial Chicken's Nest Defense.

Basketball innovator Rick Pitino has recently unveiled a new defense that is sure to turn college basketball upside down and leave opponents scatterbrained and hard-boiled, in that order, verbatim. It is called the Chicken's Nest Defense. Watch out f...
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Funny story: Local Man Adopts Snow Leopard, Private Investigator, And Fruit Bat Colony

Local Man Adopts Snow Leopard, Private Investigator, And Fruit Bat Colony

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today felt it necessary to explain how he has adopted a snow leopard, a Sherlock Holmes loving private detective and a colony of fruit bats - who all currently reside in his loft - even though nobody with any sense is r...
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Funny story: Wills and Kate can't afford £5 million Kensington Palace rent

Wills and Kate can't afford £5 million Kensington Palace rent

London - The £100,000 per week rent is way out of their league a Palace spokesperson admitted today as Red Top nutz talked up reports about Princess Margaret's former home being handed on a sliver platter to hoaxer royals Wills and Kate. A 2002 Go...
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Funny story: Landon Donovan 'Can I Be Bothered?' Over Re-joining Everton FC.

Landon Donovan 'Can I Be Bothered?' Over Re-joining Everton FC.

We spoke to American Major Soccer League star Landon Donovan about a possible loan move back to Everton in January yesterday. Here's what was said: (We arrived at his flat and i accidentally pressed the bell for flat number 178 instead of Landon's flat) Me: Hello, this is the English press. Angry old git: P*** off, you've just woke me up. Me: We need to interview Landon Donovan. AOW: That's...
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Funny story: Chris Evans, The Zombie Propaganda And The Alien Brain Beetle Project

Chris Evans, The Zombie Propaganda And The Alien Brain Beetle Project

Secret Government Records have today revealed that a man called Chris Evans has been in secret talks to become the spokesman for the Tory Government's Zombie, Alien Brain Beetle Project. As we know from previous encounters with Alien brain Beetl...
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Funny story: Asteroid set for fly-past of Earth particularly scary for those with depth perception issues

Asteroid set for fly-past of Earth particularly scary for those with depth perception issues

HARFOLD, Vt.--This week, an asteroid 1,300 feet in diameter will pass between Earth and the moon. Traveling at about 30,000 miles per hour and 200,000 above Earth, the normal, everyday person will be none the wiser. For those, however, with depth...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Vagina Quits

Lindsay Lohan's Vagina Quits

Embarrassed beyond belief Lindsay Lohan's vagina has called it quits. "First it was the whole I'm a virgin bullshit then it was the public displays flashing, flashing, flashing and now it' the prospect of some big bull bike dyke having her way with m...
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Funny story: Political News for W/E 6 Nov 2011 - with comments

Political News for W/E 6 Nov 2011 - with comments

1 Nov 2011: Jack Straw took undeclared cash from car insurance industry The former Labour cabinet minister Jack Straw was paid £5,000 by the motor insurance industry for a speech and question-and-answer session - a payment he did not declare when amendments affecting such firms were tabled last week. Well, I am surprised! 1 Nov 2011: Cuts to education, benefits and pensions Likely to lea...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus To Appear As Amanda Knox In "Ravioli Again? - The Amanda Knox Story"

Miley Cyrus To Appear As Amanda Knox In "Ravioli Again? - The Amanda Knox Story"

HOLLYWOOD - Cripple Creek Pictures in association with TouchRock Films has informed the entertainment media that filming will soon begin on the motion picture Ravioli Again? - The Amanda Knox Story. The movie which is being filmed on location in B...
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Funny story: Jill Filipovic Get Your Freak On Girl?

Jill Filipovic Get Your Freak On Girl?

A Slavic newspaper reported an incident of a TSA worker who left a personal note in a woman's luggage. The TSA worker, who is a lesbian, left a note in Jill Filipovic's luggage with the words, "Get Your Freak On Girl." To understand the mean...
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Funny story: What Animal Ethicists Did To Make Reese Witherspoon Cry

What Animal Ethicists Did To Make Reese Witherspoon Cry

BEVERLY HILLS - Actress Reese Witherspoon was recently approached by an undercover agent for an animal rights group as she shopped at Millions and Millions of Shoes, a local Beverly Hills shoe store. The individual representing a group campaigning...
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Funny story: Occupy Wall Street Transforms a Wealthy Executive and His Son

Occupy Wall Street Transforms a Wealthy Executive and His Son

The drama of Occupy Wall Street has changed many lives and only now are the stories becoming public. This poignant account of the forced re-education of a corporate executive who informs his Ivy League preppie son that he too will be forced to join the revolution, has now been made public in this letter sent from father to son..... Together they face the evil of capitalism and the need for...
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Funny story: Andy Rooney Writes His Own Obituary

Andy Rooney Writes His Own Obituary

Andy Rooney was found dead in his office yesterday sitting in front of his keyboard. Rooney 92 was best known for his down home observations on the long running news magazine 60 Minutes. Rooney had retired about a month ago so it seems he saw the han...
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Funny story: Detroit Ready For Devils Night

Detroit Ready For Devils Night

With Halloween less than 24 hours away, the citizens of Detroit are anxiously awaiting what will be the biggest party of the year, Devils Night. Tomorrow evening, residents of the city will take to the streets and set fire to anything and everything...
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Funny story: Electronic Engineer Reveals Cable Television Boxes See and Hear Into Your Livingroom

Electronic Engineer Reveals Cable Television Boxes See and Hear Into Your Livingroom

Ever get the creepy feeling that someone is watching you when your in you house? Ever wonder if the Big Brother paranoia was more than just paranoia? Ever feel like technology could be used for evil purposes? Well it appears your worries and fears...
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Funny story: 25 Years Of Sir Alex Ferguson - Thanks For The Memories Boss

25 Years Of Sir Alex Ferguson - Thanks For The Memories Boss

From a Red It wasn't always good. 26 years without winning the league. An FA Cup win over Palace, and the following season, a wet night in Rotterdam when we beat Barcelona in the Cup Winner's Cup final. At last - a European prize. Following five years of oblivion. A failed title challenge, culminating in embarrassment at Anfield - to the delight of the Scousers. Leeds win the league...
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