Funny story: More winter energy saving tips

More winter energy saving tips

1. If your wife keeps turning up the thermostat, start collecting guns, just to let her know you mean business. 2. You remember that guy that never wore a heavy coat and said he was always comfortable. He died of pneumonia. 3. In the depression people burned their homes' inside doors for warmth. Luckily that could never happen again. 4. You can turn off your refrigerator if...
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Funny story: X Factor Winner To Receive Obscurity Counselling

X Factor Winner To Receive Obscurity Counselling

ITV executives have confirmed that this year's X Factor winner will be given obscurity counselling to help them deal with the intense pressures of anonymity. Producers of the show have taken this unusual step after a survey revealed that 80% of th...
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Funny story: Local Man Denies Having Sexual Relations With Fruit Bat

Local Man Denies Having Sexual Relations With Fruit Bat

Following a series of spurious internet allegations, local man, Martin Shuttlecock today categorically denied any and all allegations that he has been conducting an illicit and improper sexual relationship with a fruit bat. Up the loft. "I neve...
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Funny story: Congress passes law requiring congress to do stuff

Congress passes law requiring congress to do stuff

On capitol hill today, Congress passed a law called the "American Congressional Activity Recovery Act" also known as the 'piece of shit'. This new law would require congressmen and women to actually do stuff when at work on capitol hill rather th...
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Funny story: Due to Twitter embarrassment, CBS to downsize to 'One and a Half Men'

Due to Twitter embarrassment, CBS to downsize to 'One and a Half Men'

HOLLYWOOD, Calif.--Just when you thought their troubles were over, the producers of Two and a Half Men are once again ripping the hair out of their skulls due to a Tweet Ashton Kutcher made in support of recently fired Penn State coach Joe Paterno.
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Funny story: Herman Cain: Where's the beef?

Herman Cain: Where's the beef?

Republican presidential hopeful and former CEO Herman Cain has been under fire for allegations of trying to slip the hot beef injection to a few of those annoying white women. In recent interviews he has been quoted denying the allegations saying,...
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Funny story: National Weather Service Bored, Takes Month Off from Weather

National Weather Service Bored, Takes Month Off from Weather

WASHINGTON, DC - Speaking candidly from his desk in the nation's capital, Rusty "Snowball" Harrington glances peacefully through the open window located behind him. Raising his nose, he sniffs at the breeze wafting through the screen, and he dramati...
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Funny story: Gary Neville 'Not Coping Well' With Revelation That He's Really A Scouser

Gary Neville 'Not Coping Well' With Revelation That He's Really A Scouser

Former Manchester United and England full back, Gary Neville, is apparently having a hard time dealing with the revelation by chubby TV presenter James Corden, that his great great great grandparents, or somebody, were actually born in Liverpool.
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Funny story: Mary Poppins attacks Spoof headquarters!

Mary Poppins attacks Spoof headquarters!

In an unprecedented attack on Spoof headquarters, Mary Poppins swooped across the chimney stacks and frosty roofs of a certain Lancaster town with her umbrella swinging, armed with a kalashnikov and peashooter. She then stormed the building. Mark,...
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Funny story: PFA chief Gordon Taylor disappointed at being disappointed by prolific Man City disappointment

PFA chief Gordon Taylor disappointed at being disappointed by prolific Man City disappointment

PFA Chief, Gordon Taylor, has admitted to his disappointment at being left disappointed by a player so synonymous with disappointing those who have taken him on his word, that the name on the back of his shirt is stuck on with Velcro. The player,...
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Funny story: Residents caught out in Council Tax bank scam

Residents caught out in Council Tax bank scam

Council tax payers have been conned out of many tens of millions of pounds a month in an elaborate scam which claims to maintain living standards by delivering services to boroughs across Britain, a survey suggests. The scam, which affects every s...
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Funny story: Perry and Cain Check-In to the Ronald Reagan Memory Clinic

Perry and Cain Check-In to the Ronald Reagan Memory Clinic

Simi Valley, California - Republican presidential contenders Rick Perry and Herman Cain have checked themselves into the Ronald Reagan Clinic for Memory Intervention. Publicly embarrassed by critical memory lapses last week, the two candidates are...
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Funny story: US troops to guard Chevron's Gorgon gas fields in Western Australia

US troops to guard Chevron's Gorgon gas fields in Western Australia

Washington - International Space Station monitoring programs have detected pesky Iranian submarines attempting to nuke Chevron's Gorgon and Wheatstone gas fields off the Western Australian coast. Initial reports said the subs 'were camouflaged wit...
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Funny story: Obama appoints himself 'CEO of everything'

Obama appoints himself 'CEO of everything'

Since the economic collapse, many businesses were saved by the government bailout machine. Many "economists" believe that the government taking over General Motors was a disastrous move. However the Administration of Americas Saviour in Chief thinks...
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Funny story: Sky recover signal from Gaga

Sky recover signal from Gaga

Lady Gaga left Sky customers furious following her interesting choice of headgear at the 2011 EMA's. She appeared on stage wearing a satellite on her face, which caused interruption for Skyviewers causing them to lose satellite signal from their...
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Funny story: Ron Paul Says That NBA Commissioner David Stern Needs To Stop Playing His Silly Playground Bully Games

Ron Paul Says That NBA Commissioner David Stern Needs To Stop Playing His Silly Playground Bully Games

ROCHESTER, Michigan - Ron Paul, who says that he knows much more about the game of basketball than he does about the game of politics, remarked that NFL (sic) Commissioner David Steenburgen (sic) needs to stop making his spoiled brat, playground bull...
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Funny story: Gursky Photograph sells for $4.3m

Gursky Photograph sells for $4.3m

An image of the Rhine taken by German artist Andreas Gursky has sold for $4.3m (£2.7m) in New York, breaking the auction record for a photograph. Glass-mounted panoramic colour print Rhein II, created in 1999, is one of an edition of six works.
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Funny story: Neymar reveals Short Term Memory Loss Condition

Neymar reveals Short Term Memory Loss Condition

In a not so surprising development, Brazilian football starlet Neymar, who has been widely touted as the next big thing in football, has revealed that he has a short term memory loss condition. Neymar, 19, read out a pre-written statement at a press...
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Funny story: As Greece defaults on loan payments, Bailiffs move in

As Greece defaults on loan payments, Bailiffs move in

In a surprise move by banks across Europe, bailiffs have started the process of evicting the Greeks from their country. 'The small print on the secured loans was very clear' Bob Holbourn, head bailiff told us. 'It clearly states that 'your count...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Found On Top of Australian

Tiger Woods Found On Top of Australian

With the first round handily notched in his bedpost, Tiger Woods finds himself exhausted, sweaty but perhaps a bit satisfied as he rests comfortably on top of the beautifully manicured and inviting Australian Open. "Nobody can grip a shaft like Ti...
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Funny story: Fried chicken franchise sorry over cannabis toddler

Fried chicken franchise sorry over cannabis toddler

Fried Chicken Franchises (FCF) have apologised to the mother of a toddler after she found cannabis in her child's mouth on one of its premises. Stacy Rush complained when she discovered her daughter with the drug at the fast food chain's Newbury r...
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Funny story: Ashton Kutcher Is So Upset About His Recent Way Out-of-Line Tweet That He Has Imposed A One Week Tweeting Ban on Himself

Ashton Kutcher Is So Upset About His Recent Way Out-of-Line Tweet That He Has Imposed A One Week Tweeting Ban on Himself

HOLLYWOOD - Ashton Kutcher says he now knows how people who put their big fat feet in their mouths like Gilbert Gottfried, Billy Bob Thornton, and Joaquin Phoenix, who are all currently in the Witless Protection Program feel. Kutcher, the roving b...
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Funny story: Neil Warnock's teeth

Neil Warnock's teeth

QPR fans are chewing over the formation of their manager's new teeth. "Sir Neil's Hampsteads don't seem to fit, he looks like Dick Emery's vicar" proclaimed lifelong QPR fan Ginger Vitis, a dental hygienist from East Acton. Warnock guided his...
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Funny story: Ex-PM John Major squirms over latest paternity claims

Ex-PM John Major squirms over latest paternity claims

London - Daft-as-brush ex-UK Prime Monster John Major is embroiled in a sordid DNA check on some 'bastards' who've tested positive to be his brats. At a Chatham House stink tank talk last night the hasbeen waxed lyrical about the US-UK 'special re...
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Funny story: It's a thriller that they're all shook up in Brighton!

It's a thriller that they're all shook up in Brighton!

The King of rock and roll and the King of pop have teamed up to run a fish and chip shop in Brighton on the South Coast of Great Britain. "EPMJ' was thought to be a company name from Mexico but we can exclusively reveal its Elvis Presley and Michael...
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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Says That She Will Definitely Not Be Returning Any of The Wedding Gifts

Kim Kardashian Says That She Will Definitely Not Be Returning Any of The Wedding Gifts

BEVERLY HILLS - According to Kim Kardashian's hair stylist FuFi Fondue the reality show maven and blushing bride of 72 days has made it abundantly clear that the wedding presents will not be returned to their rightful owners. Kimmy, as Carson Kres...
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Funny story: Christmas is cancelled

Christmas is cancelled

Euro leaders are to decide if they should cancel Christmas or not. The state of the economy looks like it may be a yes. "The Italian Prime Minister always buys the Greek Prime Minister a Christmas present and so the other way round but this year i...
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Funny story: Markets Recover on Canadian Beer Industry Bailout News

Markets Recover on Canadian Beer Industry Bailout News

Impacting the S&P, Nikkei and European markets today, news of last night's announcement over the Canadian Beer Industry bailout saw stock futures climb sharply at each market's opening bell. Canadian Senate members approved the bailout after a...
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Funny story: Kate borrows Mrs Speaker Bercow's bedsheet

Kate borrows Mrs Speaker Bercow's bedsheet

London - "Perhaps she thought it was a toga party," a St James's Palace reception guest said today as pix of Kate sporting a tousled bed sheet appeared in UK red tops nationwide. Satrorial columns soon picked up tell-tale signs of little burn hole...
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Funny story: Paranoid Polish numerology nutz close Egyptian Pyramids in 11/11/11 scare

Paranoid Polish numerology nutz close Egyptian Pyramids in 11/11/11 scare

Giza - Crystal-rattling numerologists from Dar Swiatowida (Global Psychic Vision) have freaked out Egyptian antiquities curators into closing the Great Pyramid on Armistice Day. The Polish quartz cabal had applied to the Supreme Council of Antiqui...
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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - to the St Anns area

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - to the St Anns area

In 1958, as a young lad of about 12 years of age, I took a walk from the Parliament Street bus depot, to Cathcart Street, just off of St Anns Well Road, to visit an Aunt. I was met with about 1000 bodies fighting in the streets and alleyways. Here, I was first introduced to the effectiveness of the West Indians machete's, and the razor's of the Teddy Boys, as they fought with ferocity. Today...
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Funny story: Fart Causes Dow Jones to fall 1 Million Points

Fart Causes Dow Jones to fall 1 Million Points

A loud fart that occurred on the floor of the Estonian Parliament ignited panic and pandemonium on Wall Street, leading to a mass selloff of stocks by investors causing the Dow Jones Industrial Average to drop more than 1 million points, most of whic...
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Funny story: Herman Cain Denies That He and Nancy Pelosi Once Shared A Taco Pizza Down In Tijuana, Mexico

Herman Cain Denies That He and Nancy Pelosi Once Shared A Taco Pizza Down In Tijuana, Mexico

ROCHESTER, Michigan - After the latest in a series of 179 scheduled GOP Presidential Debates, Herman Cain was asked about the rumor concerning him and former Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi. At first Cain told Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld tha...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber complains about religion

Justin Bieber complains about religion

In an interview with TXM news media, Justin Bieber complained that tax free status should be repealed for churches, and there are a number of reasons why. Bieber says the constitution specifically bars the I.R.S. from giving churches tax exempt s...
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Funny story: 11 Digit Phone Numbers Coming to U.S.

11 Digit Phone Numbers Coming to U.S.

Murray Hill, NJ 11/11/11 - Long before we run out of oil, clean water, or helium, we will run out of phone numbers. Since the first direct-dialed long distance phone call was placed on November 10, 1951, the "ten digit dialing plan" has worked relia...
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