Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson To Quit At Man Utd

Sir Alex Ferguson To Quit At Man Utd

It's the news that many opponents have been longing for, for years now, and sources are suggesting to Skoob Sports News that Sir Alex Ferguson is all set to call it a day. Usually, Sir Alex plays managerial mind games par excellence, is tactically...
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Funny story: Wayne Rooney High Priestess of Voodoo Almost Got Prediction Right

Wayne Rooney High Priestess of Voodoo Almost Got Prediction Right

The High Priestess of Voodoo has claimed a victory with her predictions for the Champions League Final. Her original prediction was based on a ritual she carried out with chicken bones and vegetables and Pearl Barley. She stirred the pot of chi...
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Funny story: Sensation As Messi Hangs Up His Boots

Sensation As Messi Hangs Up His Boots

The world of football is in a state of shock with the news that Argentinian superstar Lionel Messi has quit the game. Just minutes after helping Barcelona to win the Champions League final against Sir Alex Ferguson's Man Utd, the 23 year old maest...
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Funny story: 21st Century Schizoid Britain's Got Talent

21st Century Schizoid Britain's Got Talent

Last night's edition of 21st Century Schizoid Britain's Got Talent was definitely the best yet. Judges Pol Pot, Richard Nixon and Bono were simply knocked out by the array of talent on show at the Stevenage Unspecified Meat Products Abbatoir. P...
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Funny story: Northern Ireland Government to import dried water

Northern Ireland Government to import dried water

The government of Northern Ireland is to overcome the water shortages by importing sachets of dried water from Russia. The dried water was developed by the Russians in 1986,to overcome a lack of drinking water in an area the size of Wales,followin...
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Funny story: Christians Accuse Muslim Convert Of Cheating At Golf: Part 2 Of A Series

Christians Accuse Muslim Convert Of Cheating At Golf: Part 2 Of A Series

One day after Dr. B converted to Islam he was accused of cheating while playing golf with his "Christian" golf partners. As you know, all practicing Muslims must kneel down five times a day facing Mecca and pray. By extraordinary coincidence, each of the five times Dr. Billingsgate knelt down his ball was either in the rough or under a tree branch that impeded his swing. By the time he had ren...
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Funny story: Barack Obanana - newest member of Muppets

Barack Obanana - newest member of Muppets

Barack Obanana is the newest Muppet to join the Muppet family. He previously served as an extra on 'Barney' shows and also worked as an extra on Froot o' The Loom commercials. A native of Honolulu, Hawaii, Barack Obanana is a graduate of the...
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Funny story: Tears For Torquay As Stevenage Promoted To League One

Tears For Torquay As Stevenage Promoted To League One

Old Trafford, Manchester - Stevenage Borough today triumphed in the League Two play off final against Torquay United courtesy of a one-nil victory, leaving the Torquay United fans in tears on the Stretford End. In the real match of the day, played...
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Funny story: Wayne Rooney To Score Winning Goal Says High Priestess of Voodoo

Wayne Rooney To Score Winning Goal Says High Priestess of Voodoo

The High Priestess of the Manchester Branch of The Voodoo Church has said that Manchester United are going to win their championship match tonight. She knows this because she had a premonition whilst carrying out a secret voodoo ritual last week.
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Funny story: Oprah To Become World Ambassador Of Hugs

Oprah To Become World Ambassador Of Hugs

Chat show host Oprah Winfrey is set to launch a new career in the diplomatic service as the first ever World Ambassador of Hugs. United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki Moon made the announcement to the world's press ; "The executive board of t...
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Funny story: Suicide Tourism To Continue in Switzerland

Suicide Tourism To Continue in Switzerland

Despite a national campaign to reign back on "suicide tourism", Swiss voters have resisted calls to prohibit assisted suicide for non residents. And the Swiss government is unveiling plans to make things easier for individuals considering travelli...
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Funny story: Amazon Jungle Tribe Has No Concept Of Time

Amazon Jungle Tribe Has No Concept Of Time

Researchers have reported that the Amondawa tribe, who were first discovered in the depths of the Amazon rainforest in 1986, have no notion of time as an abstract concept. Chris Sinha, Professor of Psychology of Language at the University of Ports...
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Funny story: UK Uncut attacks Banks

UK Uncut attacks Banks

Members of UK Uncut took direct action today against Banks held responsible for creating the economic disaster that has led to austerity measures, including the planned privatisation of the Health Service. A Banker, who did not want to be named, c...
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Funny story: Future News: NHS, Education Only Things Left Nationalised

Future News: NHS, Education Only Things Left Nationalised

(Published 2028) BIRMINGHAM CAPITALIS - The new government - only a week old - has decided to privatise everything, except education and health. The Conglomeracy Party - a party by transnationals, for transnationals - achieved a near 2:1 win over...
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Funny story: Man. United 'player' is to appear on an upcoming episode of Dr. Phil

Man. United 'player' is to appear on an upcoming episode of Dr. Phil

It has been reported that a Man. U. player has agreed to appear on an upcoming episode of Dr. Phil but has asked not to be named. He has also requested to appear in silhouette and have his voice disguised. The title of the show will be 'Infidelity...
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Funny story: Park to run Messi off the park

Park to run Messi off the park

South Korean Ji-Sung Park is being tipped to do a job on Lionel Messi at Wembley tonight. Expert Telly Venables sees Park as the man to muzzle Messi: "The Korean will be snapping at Messi's heels from the first whistle. It will be dog eat dog"...
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Funny story: Tour De France For Yorkshire?

Tour De France For Yorkshire?

News that Yorkshire is to bid to host the opening stages of the 2016 Tour De France has met with mixed feelings among Yorkshiremen. The race's first two days are held in a new location outside France every two years and tourist body, Welcome To Yo...
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Funny story: The Whole World Will Be Watching Manchester United vs Barcelona In The Champions League Final at Wembley Stadium

The Whole World Will Be Watching Manchester United vs Barcelona In The Champions League Final at Wembley Stadium

LONDON - The much anticipated Champions League Final game between Manchester United and Barcelona will be watched by billions of football fans throughout the entire civilized world. Reports are that the tiny African country of British Bamboobanda...
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Funny story: Did Alex Ferguson Barbeque a Meerkat?

Did Alex Ferguson Barbeque a Meerkat?

Alex Ferguson has been sensationally accused today of serving up Barbecued Meerkat to guests at a Pre-Championship party at his Manchester home. This news has come as a total shock to another creature called Alex. Yes, Alexandr Meerkat got so sh...
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Funny story: Love Rat Manchester United Football Player Dropped By Meerkat Sponsors

Love Rat Manchester United Football Player Dropped By Meerkat Sponsors

The company behind a successful advertising campaign has discontinued a sponsorship deal worth millions of pound with a prominent Manchester United player. The deal was believed to have been made with the United player at a time when his image, on...
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Funny story: Football scandal grows as Man Utd WAGs reveal bedroom secrets

Football scandal grows as Man Utd WAGs reveal bedroom secrets

It had to happen one day, Manchester United's WAGs found a way to earn extra spending money by selling some of their 'bedroom secrets' to a reporter. Players' names weren't mentioned for obvious reasons, but the players in question will recognize...
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Funny story: Lithuanian white water rafter to cross Atlantic on prize-winning sex doll!

Lithuanian white water rafter to cross Atlantic on prize-winning sex doll!

Vilnius - "So long as sharks don't bite off the nipples from my prizewinning doll Vaida I'm confident of breaking the world record!" Liudas Pestininkas told reporters this weekend. The champion of the National Men's Day water race - where contende...
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Funny story: Britain to stop dropping cabbages on Tripoli and start using bombs

Britain to stop dropping cabbages on Tripoli and start using bombs

The Ministry of Defence has announced that British fighter planes will step up their bombing campaign against Libya by switching from cabbages to bombs. The announcement comes weeks after the military campaign to stop the Libyan Government's attac...
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Funny story: EU gravy train rides on

EU gravy train rides on

Today, I had the privilege of riding with the privileged on the EU's own parliamentary train. The train runs from Strasbourg to Brussels twice a week, and despite these times of austerity, it is full of Euro-bureaucrats stuffing their faces to relieve the stress of the impossible job of running Europe. Due to environmental regulations, the train is not permitted to run on diesel. Instead it run...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Vacationing In Hawaii And Necking On The Beach Like There's No Tomorrow

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Vacationing In Hawaii And Necking On The Beach Like There's No Tomorrow

HONOLULU - The Pacific Ocean waves were cascading onto the scenic beach as the Hawaiian evening breeze blew ever so gently causing the majestic palm trees to sway in the flaming crimson Polynesian sky. And laying out on an isolated portion of the beach were heartthrob sensations Justin Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez. The two had rubbed suntan lotion on each other and were oblivious to t...
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Funny story: Cuts protests cut

Cuts protests cut

The protest group UK Uncut have shifted their focus recently from being anti-circumcision to being against government spending cuts. A number of them have gathered in central London today to hold another protest. Today's gathering was defiant aga...
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Funny story: Big Stink In Mugabe Regime

Big Stink In Mugabe Regime

A terrifying and ferocious assault on Robert Mugabe's toilet has led to an army officer being jailed in Zimbabwe. The country's leader is known to be a jealous man and he has never been one to share his loo. One officer in the Zimbabwe military he...
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Funny story: Gigi Goyette Says She Also Played 'Hide The Salami' With Arnold Schwarzenegger But Has No Love Child To Prove It

Gigi Goyette Says She Also Played 'Hide The Salami' With Arnold Schwarzenegger But Has No Love Child To Prove It

CUCAMONGA - Gigi Goyette says she is tired of hearing all of the entertainment media talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger's maid and their love child. She said that she and the man she refers to as the 'Peckernator' spent quite a bit of nights and day...
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Funny story: Scientists studying new addictions - reality show addicts causing the breakdown of family life as we know it

Scientists studying new addictions - reality show addicts causing the breakdown of family life as we know it

Scientists have been conducting studies on people who watch reality shows on t.v. and how their lives differ from those who DO not watch these reality shows. It has been discovered that people who do NOT watch reality shows are, indeed, living in...
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Funny story: Feds Regret Issuing Mock "Zombie Attack" Alert

Feds Regret Issuing Mock "Zombie Attack" Alert

Washington,D.C.-Just weeks after issuing a mock "Zombie Attack" alert the Department of Homeland Security has issued a real alert stating that an all out zombie attack is imminent. The official bulletin states: This is not a drill nor a mock ex...
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Funny story: FC Barcelona will keep their superstitions for the euro final

FC Barcelona will keep their superstitions for the euro final

All sports persons have some sort of strategy (some call superstitions) they use in the world of sports Psychology on the build-up to their specific event. These rituals are certain behaviours an athlete performs with belief that these habits have...
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Funny story: New football rules for the 2011-2012 season-Ronaldo's style is being encouraged

New football rules for the 2011-2012 season-Ronaldo's style is being encouraged

Football managers and coaches have been holding special meetings in which they are discussing how to get more fans to attend 'matches' - especially those teams who are at the bottom of the EPL table. One suggestion is that they really DO need all games to be entertaining for the fans. The fans deserve value for money and it doesn't always come in the form of goals, wins etc. In Canada and A...
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