Funny story: Wrapping Himself in 6 US Flags, Obama Pledges Millions to Egypt & Tunisia in New Middle East Check Book Diplomacy Ploy!

Wrapping Himself in 6 US Flags, Obama Pledges Millions to Egypt & Tunisia in New Middle East Check Book Diplomacy Ploy!

An ever magnanimous Barrack Obama, standing before a total of six (6) US Flags, and an enlarged copy of his 'birth certificate, in case anyone forgot he was a NATURAL BORN PATRIOT, delivered a major policy speech pledging millions of untold, and u...
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Funny story: Last ever football season comes to an end

Last ever football season comes to an end

Next week, Manchester Rovers fans will be celebrating, as not only have they won this season's premier football league, but they have won the English football. After 123 years and countless thousands of matches, the winners of the entire football lea...
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Funny story: Belgium introduces jelly rationing

Belgium introduces jelly rationing

As financial crises hit countries around the world, Europe has been particularly hard hit. But little is heard of poor Belgium, its small economy nestling hairily between the driving buttocks of Europe - France and Germany. While Portugal, Greece...
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Funny story: Satan Reveals He Will Use Euro Sign In Place Of '666' In Preparation For May 21st's Rapture

Satan Reveals He Will Use Euro Sign In Place Of '666' In Preparation For May 21st's Rapture

Satan --The Morningstar, the Overlord of Hell and Nancy Grace's stepbrother-- appeared on the late night talk show Chelsea Lately and announced that the Number of the Beast, 666, will be changed to the symbol for Euros, in preparation for the Rapture...
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Funny story: Fake Security Update Hits Apple's Single Mac User

Fake Security Update Hits Apple's Single Mac User

LOS ANGELES - A fake security update for Apple Mac has hit 100% of all Mac. Rod Jennens, was hit by the 'update'. "Man," he said, "Dude, I'm like, not able, to like, access my, like blog, man. I wanted to, you know, like, rant about the corpora...
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Funny story: Bonnie Tyler Averts Gas Disaster

Bonnie Tyler Averts Gas Disaster

Ever since Russia became concerned over Britain's ability to pay for its natural gas supplies, and installed a large coin operated gas meter at the main gas pipeline landfall at Great Yarmouth, there has been concern over whether the UK's utility com...
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Funny story: Song: "@TheMedia"

Song: "@TheMedia"

Another song, Mr/Ms reader. How about a rant? Everyone does a rant-y song. "@TheMedia" FUCK! Nothing makes sense, Ain't gonna think about it, All these events, Are reported so wierdly, it just confuses me, Builds things up, Break them down, Fooling the uneducated, Twisting those who aren't, The news is what you make it, You make it wrong, Blood-thirsty, Libelous, Mosquitoes...
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Funny story: Future News: No to PR Side Just as Stupid as 2011's No to AV Side

Future News: No to PR Side Just as Stupid as 2011's No to AV Side

(Published 2031) BIRMINGHAM URBEM - It is only one week before local elections in England, and the PR referendum. Both sides of the debate are gearing up for major campaigning for the battle. None more so than the No camp. However, political exper...
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Funny story: Guardian Reporter Sacked for Refusing to Write About Pattinson, Pippa, Piers, Pitt, Palin, Posh, The Prince or Kristen Stewart

Guardian Reporter Sacked for Refusing to Write About Pattinson, Pippa, Piers, Pitt, Palin, Posh, The Prince or Kristen Stewart

Rodney Hempstead, well known and respected 20 year veteran of The Guardian news service and more specifically, the Entertainment Section of the news desk, was unceremoniously sacked for refusing to write any more stories about popular celebrities who...
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Funny story: Howard Caught in Ferguson's Webb

Howard Caught in Ferguson's Webb

The Football Association may finally have to take action against Howard Webb after it came to light that his relationship with Utd manager Ferguson is closer than it ought to be. I was contacted by private investigators hired by an unnamed collec...
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Funny story: Bin Laden Thought Navy Seals Were "having a laugh"

Bin Laden Thought Navy Seals Were "having a laugh"

More than two weeks after the death of infamous terrorist Osama Bin Laden, details continue to emerge about the circumstances of his fatal shooting. Bin Laden, who was alleged to have been unarmed at the time of his death, had believed the landing...
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Funny story: New Legislation Looks Set To Abolish Human Resource Departments Everywhere

New Legislation Looks Set To Abolish Human Resource Departments Everywhere

New legislation aimed at trimming the fat that exists in the business world looks set to spell the end of Human Resources Departments everywhere. The shock news comes in the middle of one of the biggest financial crises the world has known; when ever...
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Funny story: The Word on The Streets of L.A. Is That There May Be A Few More Little Arnold Schwarzenegger's Running Around

The Word on The Streets of L.A. Is That There May Be A Few More Little Arnold Schwarzenegger's Running Around

LOS ANGELES - Reports coming out of Tinsel Town are that Charlie Sheen is one very upset dude. He called up Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight and expressed that he is fit to be tied, although not in the literal "Goddess" sense of the phrase.
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Funny story: Obama Rushed To Hospital After Major Speech

Obama Rushed To Hospital After Major Speech

US President Barack Obama has been rushed to hospital only minutes after making a major speech on the Arab Spring. Obama spoke at the State Department this morning on the democratic movements in North Africa and the Middle East and laid out his v...
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Funny story: "Twit" Rooney being stalked by a Scouse "Nutter Twit"!

"Twit" Rooney being stalked by a Scouse "Nutter Twit"!

Wayne Rooney's twitter site is very popular, but has been attracting many weirdo's (it's the nature of the animal!). The majority of Looney's visiting Rooney's (site) obviously come from Liverpool, the red side there of. It's bad enough for FC Liv...
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Funny story: Donald Trump's Wig Goes On The Lam Following White House Upset

Donald Trump's Wig Goes On The Lam Following White House Upset

In sensational news today the NYPD has issued an APB on Donald Trump's wig, following its owner's decision to withdraw from the race for The White House earlier this week. The ginger frizz-ball is believed to be armed and dangerous and members of the...
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Funny story: You Win Loser of the Year Award

You Win Loser of the Year Award

LOS ANGELES - At the International People of the Year Awards 2011, you won the Loser of the Year Award. Ben Stiller presented you with the award stating: "This person has been such a loser that the fact the person even got here without getting injured is a miracle." You gracefully stumbled down the aisle to the stage, where you mumbled a few words of thanks. "I didn't really feel surprise...
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Funny story: Navy Corpsman Confirms: Bin Laden Burial Bath First He Had in Years!

Navy Corpsman Confirms: Bin Laden Burial Bath First He Had in Years!

A retired Marine Corpsman confirmed what is now seeping out on the internet, that Osama Bin Laden was a very 'dirty' fifty-four year old Terrorist who refused to shower, terrorized women and was addicted to Porn! Confirming the charges is a new bo...
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Funny story: There Are No Black Holes In Outer Space Says Pope

There Are No Black Holes In Outer Space Says Pope

Vatican City - Pope Benedict XVI has declared that there are no black holes in Outer Space, and that most of modern physics is 'bullshit'. The pope has also stated the story of the Big Bang is a 'fairy tale invented by fairies.' The frank word...
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Funny story: FA declare May 21 2011 is Judgement Day

FA declare May 21 2011 is Judgement Day

The Football Association have told fans that May 21 2011 will be Judgement Day. Bigwigs at Wembley are believed to have seen written,audio and video Bible teachings that prove the world will end on this day. The much anticipated 'Survival Sunda...
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Funny story: Gingrich's Dog Lifts Leg on Master! He Quits Campaign!

Gingrich's Dog Lifts Leg on Master! He Quits Campaign!

Political pundits were having a field day this week after Newt Gingrich's roll-out of his 2012 presidential campaign. "Stumbled getting out of the gate," said Chris Matthews on his Crossfire show. "Not a pretty picture," commented David Gregory...
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Funny story: Coffee the New Fountain of Youth

Coffee the New Fountain of Youth

Following an extensive study about the health benefits of drinking coffee, initial results show that regular consumption will dramatically reduce risk for prostate cancer, some heart related illnesses and will improve general stamina at work, around...
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Funny story: The Celestial Thermostat Setting For Carnage

The Celestial Thermostat Setting For Carnage

A distant planet that orbits a red dwarf star has revealed evidence so startling it has resulted in fashion and television personality Gok Wan and R 'n' B singer Chris Brown being hauled off to an underground prison. Government officials from both Br...
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Funny story: DSK signs million-dollar deal with publisher for hotel guide book

DSK signs million-dollar deal with publisher for hotel guide book

Disgraced Dominique Strauss-Kahn, currently a guest of the United States government, has signed a $1 million book deal with a major American publishing company. The former IMF head and French presidential hopeful is to write a guide book on hotel...
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Funny story: Shock French Poll: 70% of Socialists Claim DSK Framed! Only 30% Refuse to be 'Arsed!"

Shock French Poll: 70% of Socialists Claim DSK Framed! Only 30% Refuse to be 'Arsed!"

In a shocking new opinion poll taken in Paris, 57% of respondents think charges of Sodomy against former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn are contrived, including 70% of those admitting to being Socialists. DSK, seen as the front runner in the el...
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Funny story: Dominique Strauss-Kahn 'to call UK Justice Secretary Ken Clarke as a character witness'?

Dominique Strauss-Kahn 'to call UK Justice Secretary Ken Clarke as a character witness'?

New York - His sex crime views are the stuff of misogynist rapture amid a mounting press furor. Today a groundswell of pubic opinion is backing Clarke to take the stand supporting the beleaguered IMF ex-CEO. "Ken would make an ideal expert witn...
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Funny story: Bug-eyed massive-breasted Beckham accuser Irma Nici wades in on D$K

Bug-eyed massive-breasted Beckham accuser Irma Nici wades in on D$K

New York - The Bosnian tramp at the core of widely discredited sex video smears against footballer David Beckham has yet to reveal her Daily $mearer interview fee. However her red top rant published today daubing Dominique Strauss-Kahn a 'rough an...
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Funny story: Arnie Schwarzenegger's New Movie Set to Break Records

Arnie Schwarzenegger's New Movie Set to Break Records

The movie is a biographical account of his most turbulent years up until the present. It charts his early childhood in a hamlet in Austria, his rise to eminence as a body builder and his screen success in America that paved the way for his subsequent...
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Funny story: UK Gang Culture 'Not Just Limited To City Slums' Say Police Chief

UK Gang Culture 'Not Just Limited To City Slums' Say Police Chief

As the UK falls deeper in to despair, gang culture has hit an all time high, with police this week uncovering a huge ring, involving hundreds of members across the country. Raids took place this week at numerous locations around the British Isles,...
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Funny story: An Unemployed Poet In Manchester Claims To Have Seen An Image of One of Pippa Middleton's Breasts In His Crumpet

An Unemployed Poet In Manchester Claims To Have Seen An Image of One of Pippa Middleton's Breasts In His Crumpet

MANCHESTER - An unemployed poet named Chippington Vexhill, 66, informed his grandmother Dulcinea Vexhill, 102, that as he was reading his copy of The Manchester Morning Manc he suddenly looked down at his plate and got a bit of a fright. Vexhill said that he had to do a double take, ala Benny Hill, as right there in the middle of his blueberry crumpet he clearly saw an image of one of Pippa Mid...
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Funny story: John Edwards' Baby Mama Rielle Hunter Denies That She Is The Mother of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Love Child

John Edwards' Baby Mama Rielle Hunter Denies That She Is The Mother of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Love Child

FORT LAUDERDALE, Florida - Rielle Hunter, the mother of Senator John Edward's love child, is denying that she is also the mother of former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child. The skinny blonde who is no stranger to the world of controvers...
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Funny story: Wrexham Pony "Usually Travels By Bus", Claims Man

Wrexham Pony "Usually Travels By Bus", Claims Man

The owner of a pony who tried to board a train at Wrexham General railway station yesterday, claims that the animal has never before travelled by train, and much prefers going by bus. Dai Boony, 51, was taking his pony, Trigger, for a day out to C...
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Funny story: At Last, A Banker Is Arrested For Screwing the Public... Dominique Strauss-Kahn's Top Six Alibis

At Last, A Banker Is Arrested For Screwing the Public... Dominique Strauss-Kahn's Top Six Alibis

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the head of the International Monetary Fund, was arrested in New York this week for allegedly raping a chambermaid in his hotel room. It looks like the IMF chief's visit to America is going to be a long one because these are the best alibis that the lawyers came up with: 1. Was auditioning housekeepers for his friend Arnold Schwarzenegger. 2. Goes crazy when he h...
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Funny story: CSI Actress Marg Helgenberger Catches Hell For Saying That Working With Justin Bieber Was Like Being At A Day Care Center

CSI Actress Marg Helgenberger Catches Hell For Saying That Working With Justin Bieber Was Like Being At A Day Care Center

LOS ANGELES - One of the stars of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Marg Helgenberger says that she did not enjoy working with teen singing sensation Justin Bieber one bit. Marg, who is a good-looking, mature, blonde woman divulged to Grandiosa Litt...
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Funny story: Tripoli Under Siege: Part 1 - The Bar Fly

Tripoli Under Siege: Part 1 - The Bar Fly

God it stunk to be in Tripoli with NATO bombs falling daily now. The Catatonic Bar was located near the port and thus had been spared thus far, yet there was the constant threat and badgering from Ghadaffi's swine, who all thought we should pay them not to bother us. The latest now lay in a dumpster out back when I discovered he was nothing of the sort, but a bastard friend of friend of a friend o...
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Funny story: 24 Jews Ascended Into Heaven Banished For Scalping Tickets for "Seats Close To God"

24 Jews Ascended Into Heaven Banished For Scalping Tickets for "Seats Close To God"

Heaven's celestial scribe revealed via his Twitter feed, DaMetatron, that 24 Jews that ascended into Heaven during May 21st's Rapture were banished for scalping bogus tickets for what they characterized as "Seats Close To God". "They're in here by...
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Funny story: Local Man In Wedding Anniversary Vigil Nursing Sick Cat

Local Man In Wedding Anniversary Vigil Nursing Sick Cat

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock had given up all hope on the family's only remaining cat last week. The cat, Scrappy, daughter of the legendary Beryl, suffered a serious trauma last Tuesday, spending all night in the back garden and refusing all attempts to coax her back indoors. Early indications suggest that she had been bitten, although there were no immediately obvious injuries. At some po...
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Funny story: Top Story For Today, May 21, 2011: Where The F--k Is Everybody?

Top Story For Today, May 21, 2011: Where The F--k Is Everybody?

News gathering agencies around the world are opening their reports today asking one vital question: "Where the f--k is everybody?" "It's May 21, 2011," said Today Show host Matt Lauer, apparently alone in the NBC studios, and operating his own...
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Funny story: The Truth Behind Exploding Melons

The Truth Behind Exploding Melons

China: The world was shocked to learn that entire fields of watermelons exploded this week in China. However, it comes to no surprise to botanists. When talking to head botanist at the University of Chicago, it seems it is fairly a common occurre...
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Funny story: A Charabanc Trip With Major And Mrs Percy Part 8 - The Alternative Ending

A Charabanc Trip With Major And Mrs Percy Part 8 - The Alternative Ending

Welcome dear reader to the alternative conclusion to the saga of the Major and Mrs Percy's epic charabanc day trip. Of course, the story came to a natural conclusion at the close of Part 7, so this additional episode is purely optional. It is for all the blood-crazed sadists out there who demand a violent conclusion to their entertainment. It contains bad language, flashing lights, scenes of extre...
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Funny story: US Supermarkets Suspend Debit Card Acceptance After May 21 In Favor of '666' Forehead Tattoo

US Supermarkets Suspend Debit Card Acceptance After May 21 In Favor of '666' Forehead Tattoo

In preparation for the Rapture, which, according to some nutball who sells T-shirts is set to occur on May 21st, major US grocery stores have suspended acceptance of debit cards in favor of the Number Of The Beast, 666, tattooed to customer's heads.
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Funny story: Dear Jewish Friends, When the Rapture Begins on May 21st...

Dear Jewish Friends, When the Rapture Begins on May 21st...

Dear Jewish Friends: When the Rapture begins on May 21st, you guys get to go first. (Not sure how you people worked that out, what with you guys not believing that Christ is our savior, and then killing him and all. I'm not sure how that works, but, ya know, whatevs. I guess the lawyers were working overtime on that deal, huh?) Do us a favor and save us some seats? I gotta get the kids dress...
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Funny story: DSK Moved to Rikers Medical Ward Suffering from Priapism: Erection Now in 2nd Day!

DSK Moved to Rikers Medical Ward Suffering from Priapism: Erection Now in 2nd Day!

Dominique Strauss-Kahn (DSK) under a suicide watch at Posh Rikers Island, was rushed into the emergency ward of the criminal holding center after his erection continued into the second day of his custody on sodomy and rape charges. "It's Priapism...
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