Funny story: Rainier Wolfcastle Admits He Is Arnold Schwarzenegger's Love Child

Rainier Wolfcastle Admits He Is Arnold Schwarzenegger's Love Child

Muscle-bound McBain star Rainier Wolfcastle, for years thought to be a thinly-veiled parody of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted this morning that he is Arnold's love-child. And, he's the first of many! "I believe my father, Arnold Schwar...
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Funny story: U.S. Nuclear director still annoyed at Japan comparisons

U.S. Nuclear director still annoyed at Japan comparisons

The following interview took place 150 miles away from the closest American Nuclear reactor. When Nuclear Regulatory Director Mr. Fallout was asked "Why did you choose to meet with the press at THIS location?" Mr. Fallout said "For safety reasons" Thinking that "Safety Reasons" might mean "Security Reasons", in the wake of Mr. Bin Ladens replacement possibly being named, I asked Mr. Fallout...
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Funny story: Huhne Briefs Commons On Emissions And Admissions

Huhne Briefs Commons On Emissions And Admissions

Coalition Energy Secretary Chris Huhne has briefed MP's on the government's green policy for the coming years. Huhne advised the Commons that not only would the UK change the way it produces energy, but he also committed the country to halving its...
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Funny story: IMF And Dundee United Keen On Swop Deal

IMF And Dundee United Keen On Swop Deal

The International Monetary Foundation and Scottish Premier League outfit Dundee United are locked in negotiations in an attempt to arrange a swop of their star men. The IMF's chairman and leading light Dominique Strauss-Kahn is currently in Rykers...
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Funny story: Olympic Torch Route Unveiled

Olympic Torch Route Unveiled

The 8,000 mile route along which the Olympic Torch will be carried in the UK before making its way to London 2012 has been unveiled by Lord Coe, chairman of the organising committee. The torch will travel for 70 days through all the major towns a...
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Funny story: Be kind to criminals, kick a cop

Be kind to criminals, kick a cop

Theresa May, UK, Home Secretary finished her speech to the Police Federation in Bournemouth by telling the federation: 'You are the finest police officers in the world and I trust you to get the job done.' She could have added, "but I'm still taking £4000 off your salary this year, despite telling you for months that this Government would not make cuts in Police Budgets." No one applauded an...
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Funny story: Queen desperately in need of a decent brassiere

Queen desperately in need of a decent brassiere

Dublin - Old HM Saggy-Boobs - as her hosts called her at Dublin Castle tonight - is in need of a major uplift. And hydraulically-engineered hoists should be built into her droopy 40GG-cup bra 'to stop the boobs dangling below elbow height'. "To...
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Funny story: 'Gary' Glitter attack on Pissed-As-A-Newt Gingrich

'Gary' Glitter attack on Pissed-As-A-Newt Gingrich

Minnesota - Wannabe Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich was showered with 'gay' glitter during a barnstorming book signing session today. Gingrich and his wife Callista (Flockheart? Nah! That's Harrison Ford's little bundle of bulimia.
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Funny story: 'Croak' Park two-finger crop circle says The End Is Nigh

'Croak' Park two-finger crop circle says The End Is Nigh

Dublin - A geometrically fiendish crop circle depicting a classic 'Up Yours' V-sign has appeared on the pitch at Dublin's Croak (sic) Park. It emerged from the nethers just as the Queen arrived to gawp at the scene of the 1920 Bloody Sunday massac...
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Funny story: Inventor of the Pink Pencil Eraser Admits Dubious Inspiration

Inventor of the Pink Pencil Eraser Admits Dubious Inspiration

Though there were others in the late 1800's who invented the vulcanized rubber that could erase a lead pencil mark, it was Boris Tadeth, tire design engineer and frequent patron of the Kit Kat Club in New Jersey, who created the round, pink pencil er...
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Funny story: Vampire Dairies Shut Down - Lobov And Winkelholder Devastated

Vampire Dairies Shut Down - Lobov And Winkelholder Devastated

Hereford based dairy produce manufacturers, Vampire Dairies, have been shut down by their co-owners, Nina Lobov and Damian Winkelholder, following a dramatic downturn in turnover. "It was regrettable, but we had to take drastic action," Winkelhold...
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Funny story: Liverpool star, Steven Gerrard, uses his wifes make-up before games, what a Scouse Bitch!

Liverpool star, Steven Gerrard, uses his wifes make-up before games, what a Scouse Bitch!

A make-up artist to the stars has revealed that several "hard-nut" soccer, Rugby, F1 stars, etc, have consulted him because they want to look even prettier whilst performing. (not a gay thing BTW, bitch) Scouser Stevie has come clean and admitted...
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Funny story: London Man Loses His Guinness and Will to Live

London Man Loses His Guinness and Will to Live

Spotted on the tattered roof of his upper flat in Dalston, Otto Franks, second generation German expatriate and local auto mechanic, reportedly a stable and friendly man by all neighbor accounts, had threatened to jump to his death after forgetting t...
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Funny story: Sandra Bollock Says Arnold Schwarzenegger Can Leave His Dirty Boxers Under Her Bed Anytime

Sandra Bollock Says Arnold Schwarzenegger Can Leave His Dirty Boxers Under Her Bed Anytime

Wolverhampton woman, Sandra Bollock (a dyslexic who changed her name by deed poll in 2006) has reacted somewhat excitedly to the news that the California Governor doesn't mind 'playing away from home' occasionally. Miss Bollock, 64, has long been...
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Funny story: Arnold Has Perfectly Good Explanation for Affair

Arnold Has Perfectly Good Explanation for Affair

The U.S. was shocked by yesterday's revelation that movie star and ex-California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger secretly fathered a child with a housekeeper ten years ago. The incident was seen as yet another glaring act of hypocrisy from a "family v...
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Funny story: FA Cunning Linguists ban Howard Webb

FA Cunning Linguists ban Howard Webb

Linguists at the Football Association have banned managers from using the words Howard Webb. Any reference to the bald policeman and top referee Howard Webb will incur a big slap on the wrist. Stoke manager Tony Pulis is the latest avant garde...
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Funny story: Ken Clarke Hits the Wrong Note

Ken Clarke Hits the Wrong Note

When Justice Minister Ken Clarke ambled into the BBC radio 5 live studio with his alto sax he offered to give listeners some of his best jazz licks. Modern jazz can have the odd dissonant note, at times it is nothing else, so not everyone was keen...
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Funny story: A Charabanc Trip With Major And Mrs Percy Part 7 - The Long Journey Home

A Charabanc Trip With Major And Mrs Percy Part 7 - The Long Journey Home

"I'd swear that was him," the Major says as they board the charabanc for the final leg of their journey, the home run. "Who?" Mrs Percy asks, although she doesn't really want an answer. She's out on her feet. Dead beat. Exhausted. Cream crackered. She just wants to go home to bed. "That chappie behind the bar there," the Major says. "I'd swear that it's the same ruddy chap who was running th...
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Funny story: Arsene Wenger to play Basil Fawlty

Arsene Wenger to play Basil Fawlty

Arsene Wenger is being tipped to play Basil Fawlty in the remake of the classic comedy Fawlty Towers. The Arsenal manager has just recovered from a quadruple bypass and is rumoured to be seeking a stress free lifestyle. The lanky Frenchman has...
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Funny story: Anger As Government Suggest Revamp Of Dogging Sites Across The UK

Anger As Government Suggest Revamp Of Dogging Sites Across The UK

In a move that has angered local citizens the length and breadth of the country, government ministers have put forward plans to revamp over thirty dogging sites across the UK. Whilst thousands of healthcare, childcare and other high profile servic...
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Funny story: Welsh footballer gets superinjunction against sheep

Welsh footballer gets superinjunction against sheep

A low profile Welsh footballer has secured a superinjunction against a sheep. The red faced Baadiff ace is determined to buy his anonymity on the basis that he is 'married 'to another sheep. But rumours are rife down in the valleys and on the...
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Funny story: Oil Billionairres issue "Warning", to American public

Oil Billionairres issue "Warning", to American public

Due to an increasing number, of consumer complaints, about skyrocketting gas prices, the oil Billionairres, at Exxon, Mobile, Amoco, and others, have issued a joint press release. "If these American whiners do NOT stop bitching, about gas prices,...
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Funny story: Jersey Shore Snookie's Mugshot Finally Released to Press

Jersey Shore Snookie's Mugshot Finally Released to Press

Following her original arrest in 2010 and a frantic effort by her publicist to hold back New Jersey police bookiing photos, the reality show potty mouth who calls herself Snookie got more attention today when her bad-hair day police photo was pirated...
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Funny story: International Bank for Deconstruction & Embezzlement CEO 'may be next' IMF warns

International Bank for Deconstruction & Embezzlement CEO 'may be next' IMF warns

London - Shadowy world government string-pullers behind global money scams 'may all be potential pervs'. That's the message from Interpol as it starts reviewing appointment procedures favoring dodgy megabux fatcats for highly dubious international...
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Funny story: Was Singing Nun who recorded 'Dominique' the birth mother of IMF CEO Strauss-Khan?

Was Singing Nun who recorded 'Dominique' the birth mother of IMF CEO Strauss-Khan?

Belgium - In a promising week for international conspiracy theories the Singing Nun's emergence as the possible mother of Dominique Strauss-Khan has not seen anyone batting so much as an eyelid. But the former nun's 1963 smash hit 'Dominique' may...
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Funny story: Last Refuge House Reveals More Shocking Bin Laden Secrets

Last Refuge House Reveals More Shocking Bin Laden Secrets

US officials, trawling through the last personal remnants of terror leader Osama Bin Laden at his hideaway in Abbottabad, have made yet more shocking discoveries about the man. In an un-mailed letter the bearded chief of hate claims he * Did...
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Funny story: FA charges against Roberto Mancini

FA charges against Roberto Mancini

The FA have charged Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini with being too handsome. Football Association supremo Arthur Slaphead-Mason claims the dashing Italian is bringing the English game into disrepute. "There are too many pretty boys runn...
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Funny story: Same old Nazi Tories police conference warns

Same old Nazi Tories police conference warns

Bournenmouth - The Tories want 'revenge' on the police for the 1993 humiliation of 'pervs' like Prime Monster John Major a police conference heard today. Delegates were warned that the Conservatives, previously dubbed the nasty/Nazi party, were fo...
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Funny story: Dominique Strauss-Kahn: "Just say...Oui!"

Dominique Strauss-Kahn: "Just say...Oui!"

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, head of the International Monetary Fund, arrived in NYC to open his campaign to bring French culture to the United States of America. The theme of the timely and forward looking campaign was: "Just Say Oui!" His plans have be...
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Funny story: DSK: I did not have sex with that maid; it was Bin Laden's ghost who did

DSK: I did not have sex with that maid; it was Bin Laden's ghost who did

Disgraced IMF head and French presidential hopeful, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, has told the Bronx cops exactly what happened in Suite 2806. His testimony reads "It wasn't me who'd gone and done that to that poor dear cleaning lady. It was Bin Lade...
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Funny story: Company Executive Thrown Off Train For Talking Loudly

Company Executive Thrown Off Train For Talking Loudly

In this age of political correctness and lack of patience for one's fellow man, things seem to have dipped to a new low. Barry Ludlow, 37, a high ranking executive in a city firm, was unceremoniously removed from a train on his way to work last Mo...
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Funny story: British Soap Awards 2011 - TV Extravaganza

British Soap Awards 2011 - TV Extravaganza

ITV is expecting massive viewing figures tonight for their screening of the British Soap awards. Advertising revenues from the event could help to rescue the broadcaster's bottom line this quarter so they have pulled out all the stops. The two-...
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Funny story: Princess Beatrice's Wedding Hat Up For Auction

Princess Beatrice's Wedding Hat Up For Auction

The bizarre hat worn by Princess Beatrice at the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton has been put online for auction. The highest bid currently stands at £18,500 and the auction runs until May 22nd. All proceeds will go to the charity...
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Funny story: The Pebble with a Red Streak - Part IV

The Pebble with a Red Streak - Part IV

Of course, none of the remedies worked. If bleeding stopped temporarily, it was due to clotting system. Neither the mother nor the boy knew that during bleeding the head should not be lowered; therefore, a pot was always placed on the floor under the boy's chin to collect the blood to save his only shirt. The boy did not see his father around or visiting him, of which the boy was glad. The boy...
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Funny story: Electing The New "Bin Laden"

Electing The New "Bin Laden"

Now that the former head of global al Qaeda has become fish bait, leaders of the various al Qaeda families are jetting to the Sistine Cave in the wilds of Pakistan to elect the new Mr. Big Laden. Once they enter the Cave, al Qaeda soldiers will r...
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Funny story: Levein Announces Squad For Carling Nations Cup

Levein Announces Squad For Carling Nations Cup

Scotland boss Craig Levein has announced his squad for the upcoming Carling Nations Cup games. Scotland play Wales and Northern Ireland on May 25th and 29th respectively and the former Dundee United manager has used the opportunity to include 2 mo...
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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Invites A Heartbroken Pippa Middleton To Go Down With Her and Boyfriend Derek Hough To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Cheryl Cole Invites A Heartbroken Pippa Middleton To Go Down With Her and Boyfriend Derek Hough To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Cheryl Cole was sitting in the Double H mansion, Casa Cha Cha Cha that she shares with her future-husband Derek Hough, of Dancing With The Stars. She had read in The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette about Pippa Middleton getting dumped by her porn star boyfriend Ron Jeremy and the fact that she was extremely heartbroken. "Chezza" as her family and close friends call her, told...
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Funny story: Steven Tyler Squashes The Rumor That He And Fellow American Idol Judges Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson Are Feuding

Steven Tyler Squashes The Rumor That He And Fellow American Idol Judges Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson Are Feuding

LOS ANGELES - Steven Tyler sat in a booth at his favorite restaurant The Fiery Tongue of The Dragon. He was partaking of a plate of Lemon Chicken with a side order of Osakan Egg Rolls and Crab Rangoon when he was asked by Hoopla Diddly of TV ClickerWorld about the reported incident during a recent edition of American Idol. Tyler asked if he was referring to the show where he became so angry...
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Funny story: The Stars of The Vampire Diaries, Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Explain Their Recent 'Wow Moments'

The Stars of The Vampire Diaries, Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Explain Their Recent 'Wow Moments'

MALIBU BEACH - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder recently celebrated the huge success of their television show The Vampire Diaries at the beach house of their good friend the Twilight Saga star Robert Pattinson. Pattinson has a reputation for being...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars Kicks The Original Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, Off The Show

Dancing With The Stars Kicks The Original Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, Off The Show

HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars is now down to the final three couples as Ralph Macchio, the original Karate Kid, was sent home. Macchio and his partner Karina Smirnoff [pronounced SMIRN-OFF] had a pretty bad week as Ralph had gotten his uvula...
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Funny story: New Study Shows Left Brained People Just aren't Right

New Study Shows Left Brained People Just aren't Right

A new study published this month in the New England Journal of New England Medical Journals suggest that people who are predominately left brained are almost always first class ass holes. And to make matters worst the study shows they don't know they're ass holes either. So how can you, a person of impeccable standards, determine if you're left brained and consequently an ass hole? The first q...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Reveals That Porn Star Ron Jeremy Has Dumped Pippa Middleton Who Quickly Runs Into The Arms of Twilight Star Robert Pattinson

Kristen Stewart Reveals That Porn Star Ron Jeremy Has Dumped Pippa Middleton Who Quickly Runs Into The Arms of Twilight Star Robert Pattinson

LOS ANGELES - The world's most infamous woman, Pippa Middleton, has just had her heart broken. The younger sister of Kate Middleton, who is now known as the Duchess of Cambridge, is reportedly devastated according to Paprika Pittfauster with The W...
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Funny story: Local Man Loses Will To Live And Says: "It's All B*ll*cks Anyway"

Local Man Loses Will To Live And Says: "It's All B*ll*cks Anyway"

According to sources, local man, Martin Shuttlecock has announced that he is losing the will to live after being subjected to continuous abuse on what was once his favourite internet website, TheSpoof.com Long suffering wife Anne, looking grievous...
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Funny story: Local Writer Loses Train of Thought Whilst Writing Headline Now Can't Remember Subject of Story or His Name!

Local Writer Loses Train of Thought Whilst Writing Headline Now Can't Remember Subject of Story or His Name!

A local writer, who must remain nameless because he can't remember who he is, suffered a severe case of writers block whilst only half way through a 6 paragraph headline on a story he was preparing to submit to a well known satire site, on a topic h...
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