Funny story: Merriam-Webster changes definition of "Psychotic"

Merriam-Webster changes definition of "Psychotic"

Merriam-Webster have released their updates and revisions list today, and many linguists are up in arms over one particular change. The word "psychotic" and all of it's relations and roots have been changed to receive an additional definition. The...
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Funny story: Infamous Papparazzo Hoisted on Own Petard; Papped in Bunga-Bunga Hot Tub with Lady Ga Ga, Silvio Berlusconi, Elton John and A Player to be Named Later!

Infamous Papparazzo Hoisted on Own Petard; Papped in Bunga-Bunga Hot Tub with Lady Ga Ga, Silvio Berlusconi, Elton John and A Player to be Named Later!

A world famous celebrity paparazzo, who can't be named due to a last minute Super Injunction before the press rolled, was caught out in his own game being papped nude in compromising party activities during what is being called his Italian Waterloo...
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Funny story: Man from Carlisle Learns American Vulgarism

Man from Carlisle Learns American Vulgarism

Carlisle, UK - Local man, David Clarke, 35, recently learned the American vulgarism, "junk." Friends are amazed by his natural ability to pick up and use such an odd American euphemism. "I learnt it from Elizabeth, who is the funniest person o...
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Funny story: Pippa Middleton: "Blue Will Get My Vote Over Jedward For Eurovision But Robert Pattinson Can Kiss My Ass And Kristen Stewart Can Keep Him"

Pippa Middleton: "Blue Will Get My Vote Over Jedward For Eurovision But Robert Pattinson Can Kiss My Ass And Kristen Stewart Can Keep Him"

Pertly perfect Pippa Middleton, who has turned a nostalgic nation's heads after her dashingly demure derriere was the star of the show at the recent Royal Wedding, is a real Eurovision fan, according to Lydia Fawne-Groveller, Editor of Society Journals Inbred and Chinless and Posh Totty For Lantern-Jawed Bankers To Breed More Posh Totty For Lantern-Jawed Bankers To Breed More Posh Totty For Lanter...
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Funny story: Dead or Alive to re-release You Spin Me Round

Dead or Alive to re-release You Spin Me Round

Dead or Alive, the popular beat combo from the 1980s released several songs, but the only song people remember is You Spin me Right Round Like a Record Baby. Having recently fallen on hard times (Pete Burns spent all of the band's profits on cosme...
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Funny story: Lady Gras Gras turns into Milk Woman

Lady Gras Gras turns into Milk Woman

Despite her petite waistline, Lady Gaga has a been given a new title for her love of cholesterol particularly amongst the French, Lady Gras Gras. Although her outfits range from an enormous variety of accessories, one common theme for award shows...
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Funny story: Man Not Going to Deactivate MySpace In Case He Hurts Its Feelings

Man Not Going to Deactivate MySpace In Case He Hurts Its Feelings

LONDON - A local man, John Simmons, has stated to the press that he will not 'deactivate his MySpace' for the forseeable future. "After I heard that MySpace was losing hundreds of users a day, I felt kinda sorry for it, you know? I never use it -...
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Funny story: Downeast Maine Fisherman Confirms: Bin Laden 'dead as a Hake!'

Downeast Maine Fisherman Confirms: Bin Laden 'dead as a Hake!'

The Bangor, ME Daily News has confirmed, albeit a week late, that Osama Bin Laden is indeed dead and resting in a watery grave quoting local man Daryl McFaddon as the source. I caught up with that local man, Daryl McFaddon, he being of the McFaddon clan mostly bred and bedded on Beals Island, whilst he was indulging in a 'mess of smelts' he was frying up on his cook stove somewhere on 'paper...
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Funny story: "Can You Hear Me Now?" Obama Bin Everywhere Now On Your Cell Phone! Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm!

"Can You Hear Me Now?" Obama Bin Everywhere Now On Your Cell Phone! Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm!

The Federal Communications Commissions (FCC) acting in consort with the Democratic National Committee (DNC) have mandated cell phone manufacturers include a special Obama Chip in each new Cell Phone in order for the President to 'stay in touch' in t...
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Funny story: Boring Blue Set To Be Boo'd off Eurovision Song Contest Stage

Boring Blue Set To Be Boo'd off Eurovision Song Contest Stage

A group of real music fans have vowed to boo pop band Blue off the Eurovision song contest stage. They will do this in protest at the formulaic song Britain has produced for the Eurovision Song Contest. The real music fans, who call themselves...
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Funny story: Jedward Favourites to Win Eurovision Song Contest

Jedward Favourites to Win Eurovision Song Contest

A leading betting shop has announced that Jedward are now the favourites to win the Eurovision Song contest. The shock announcement comes just one day after their fantastic appearance in the Euro Semi Finals. That appearance proved to the world...
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Funny story: Navy Seals Did Not Take Down Osama bin Laden

Navy Seals Did Not Take Down Osama bin Laden

Navy seals did not take down Osama bin Laden. Quack News is in agreement with Bush administration's claim to be totally responsible for the capture and death of Osama bin Laden. Water boarding, (done seven years ago) works! Water boarding set the...
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Funny story: Jedward have at last proved that the Eurovision Song Contest is utter crap!

Jedward have at last proved that the Eurovision Song Contest is utter crap!

Most people already know, apart from a 150 million brain-damaged European viewers, that the Eurovision song contest is utter crap, but now, once and for all, it has been proven, Jedward have qualified! The twins with more hair than talent decided...
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Funny story: Twitter Crashes Again Under An Avalanche Of Absolute B*ll*cks

Twitter Crashes Again Under An Avalanche Of Absolute B*ll*cks

The UK's Twitter network crashed again this teatime, as the network gave way under the pressing weight of what has been tentatively described as "an avalanche of absolute bollocks." Millions of UK Twitter users could only gawp helplessly at their...
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Funny story: Pippa Middleton's Arse Voted As Iconic As Naked Britney & Kylie Lesbo Sex-Romp Tape. Oh Yeah And Something About Justin Bieber And That Vampire Thing Twilight With Robin Pattinson

Pippa Middleton's Arse Voted As Iconic As Naked Britney & Kylie Lesbo Sex-Romp Tape. Oh Yeah And Something About Justin Bieber And That Vampire Thing Twilight With Robin Pattinson

In what is quite frankly a blatant attempt to get his name higher up the writers' chart of the online satirical 'newspaper' The Spoof, contributor, Duff, has penned this points-grabbing article complete with headline to match. Speaking from his di...
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Funny story: When and where exactly was the grass greener?

When and where exactly was the grass greener?

Ahead of Andy Murray's charge to inevitable victory in this summer's Wimbledon the sometimes British though primarily Scottish tennis star is showing the perfect form in the build up. Murray became the first player from these shores, since the la...
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Funny story: Jeremy Clarkson Or Piers Morgan Could Be Nina Dobrev's Secret Boyfriend - Ian Somerhalder "Gutted"

Jeremy Clarkson Or Piers Morgan Could Be Nina Dobrev's Secret Boyfriend - Ian Somerhalder "Gutted"

Reports coming in today suggest that Brit wrinklies, Jeremy Clarkson or Piers Morgan could be 'Vampire Diaries' starlet Nina Dobrev's secret boyfriend, and VD co-star Ian Somerhalder is said to be 'gutted' by the revelation. In a world where nobod...
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Funny story: Bum Rage Erupts As Anneka Rice Insists She Had A Nicer Arse Than Pippa Middleton

Bum Rage Erupts As Anneka Rice Insists She Had A Nicer Arse Than Pippa Middleton

A startling new phenomenon appears to have permeated celebrity circles, and the goss columnists are calling it "Bum Rage." Apparently it started this afternoon when sources close to former 'Treasure Hunt' tight trousered helicopter woman, Anneka R...
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Funny story: Queens Park Rangers promoted to Premier League - Spoof Writers excited - new WAGS to write about

Queens Park Rangers promoted to Premier League - Spoof Writers excited - new WAGS to write about

Spoof Writers are especially excited to find that Queens Park Rangers have won promotion to the English Premier League. Not only will they have new players to Spoof but a whole new set of WAGS too. Spoofers just can't wait. The QPR players a...
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Funny story: Boris Johnson stars in Scottish Higher English exam

Boris Johnson stars in Scottish Higher English exam

It is a big day today for all the young students in Scotland. Exam fever has taken over as they begin their "Highers". That's not quite an "A" level but then Scotland always has to be different. Imagine thousands of nervous students opening their...
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Funny story: Pippa Middleton Suns Her Bum In The Back Garden Near The Shed

Pippa Middleton Suns Her Bum In The Back Garden Near The Shed

Nosey neighbours revealed today that they had seen the lady with the world's most talked about posterior, Pippa Middleton, taking advantage of the midday sun by donning a skimpy bikini and doing a spot of sunbathing in her back garden. Near the sh...
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Funny story: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley And Cameron Diaz Spotted Riding A Tandem Around Hollywood By Cheryl Cole

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley And Cameron Diaz Spotted Riding A Tandem Around Hollywood By Cheryl Cole

Plymouth UK born FHM Hot 100 chart topper Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has been spotted riding a tandem around Hollywood with fellow FHM hottie, the actress Cameron Diaz. According to X-Factor USA judge, Cheryl Cole. Providing the reports coming in f...
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Funny story: Monet Garden Job Goes To Scouser

Monet Garden Job Goes To Scouser

A gardener from Merseyside has landed one of the prize jobs in horticulture - tending Claude Monet's garden. Fred Compost has to keep the garden, at Giverny, Normandy, in the condition it was when the impressionist master lived there. Some of M...
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Funny story: Ex Liverpool footballer slams "anorexic fairies"

Ex Liverpool footballer slams "anorexic fairies"

Ex Liverpool ace Jan Molby has called the current crop of players "anorexic fairies". The Danish Scouser claims they have no appetite for the game and wouldn't have survived in his day. "Only the Argie Carlos Tevez could have competed at our le...
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Funny story: Spencer Tunick hires Pippa Middleton for naked Dead Sea shoot

Spencer Tunick hires Pippa Middleton for naked Dead Sea shoot

Jerusalem - "That Abbey cakewalk last month was just an audition," Tunick told Meggido Bikini & Burkhini News Illustrated reporters this morning. "I plan to position Pippa slap bang in the middle of the lake, surround by hundreds of tanned lov...
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Funny story: Blue Peter Pet Death Angers Animal Rights Activists

Blue Peter Pet Death Angers Animal Rights Activists

News that Mabel, the Blue Peter dog, has died has been received angrily by animal rights campaigners. Mabel, a border collie, was a rescue dog and joined the BBC children's magazine show 14 years ago. She had the unusual condition, heterochromia -...
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Funny story: George Osborne backs the £2.50 play park entrance fee

George Osborne backs the £2.50 play park entrance fee

Wandsworth, London: Children, all dressed in the latest play park friendly, designer gear from the Slide and Swing fashion house, are to be heard, screaming and whooping derision at less well off kids from the latest must have status symbol. Chanc...
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Funny story: Madonna to Star in New Movie about Opus Dei Founder

Madonna to Star in New Movie about Opus Dei Founder

Pop tart Madonna, who has reportedly ditched Kabbalah and joined Opus Dei, announced that she will star in the sequel to "There Be Dragons," a movie released this Friday about Opus Dei founder Saint Josemaria Escriva. "I have always been fascinat...
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Funny story: A-Level and GCSE Standards Fall To Alarming Levels

A-Level and GCSE Standards Fall To Alarming Levels

Exams standards watchdog, Ofqual, is to launch an investigation into the standards of exams taken every year by youngsters. This will be the largest inquiry by the regulator and is expected to cover annual rises in grades, the perceived difficulty...
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Funny story: US Sources Claim, Bin Laden has Cloned Himself 12 Times

US Sources Claim, Bin Laden has Cloned Himself 12 Times

President Barack Obama announced today with a very bad 'We Killed Bin Laden' hangover that he had bad news to impart to the press. "Geez', started the president in front of the presses' microphones. "This is a really bad one. Honestly, I swear I keep seeing Donald Trump standing in front of me 50 times strong. I mean, damn, I've had 20 McDonald's hamburgers and 10 Bloody Mary's and everyone...
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Funny story: American Idol - The Favorite To Win It All James "Heavy Metal" Durbin Is Amazingly Voted Off The Show!

American Idol - The Favorite To Win It All James "Heavy Metal" Durbin Is Amazingly Voted Off The Show!

HOLLYWOOD - Backstage after the latest edition of American Idol had just eliminated James Durbin, Jennifer Lopez, who could not stop crying, hugged James and told him not to worry because he was going to be the next big super star. J.Lo handed Jam...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart To Appear As Snow White In The Film, "Snow White And The Horny Vampire Hunters of Hungary"

Kristen Stewart To Appear As Snow White In The Film, "Snow White And The Horny Vampire Hunters of Hungary"

LOS ANGELES - The word coming out of the motion picture studios at Miramix Pictures is that Kristen Stewart, the star of the Twilight movies series, will be portraying Snow White in the Charleen Belle Pinnzucker production of Snow White And The Horny...
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Funny story: A Furious Queen Elizabeth Issues An Official Directive Stating That Buckingham Palace Does Not Condone Any of Pippa Middleton's Actions

A Furious Queen Elizabeth Issues An Official Directive Stating That Buckingham Palace Does Not Condone Any of Pippa Middleton's Actions

LONDON - A high ranking employee of Buckingham Palace has stated that the word at Buck House is that the queen is as angry as a disturbed hornet. The source said that ever since way before the Royal Wedding the queen has been extremely stressed ou...
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Funny story: Bronx Zoo Peacock Discusses Life Over the Fence

Bronx Zoo Peacock Discusses Life Over the Fence

The female peacock who escaped from the Bronx Zoo, but was captured after a few days, held a press conference at the zoo today. She said that her freedom was okay while it lasted, but she had always meant it to be just a brief sabbatical. She m...
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Funny story: Spoof Writers planning a Sexy Nude Spoofers' Calendar for 2012

Spoof Writers planning a Sexy Nude Spoofers' Calendar for 2012

We have only just heard the breaking news that some Spoof Writers are planning to put together - and sell - a 2012 Calendar featuring sexy nude photos of Spoof Writers themselves posing in a variety of positions. There will, of course, be a screening process by a panel of 'judges' because it is well know that there are some pretty ugly Spoofers out there who think they are 'all that' and MORE.
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Funny story: Kermit the Frog to abandon possible presidential run

Kermit the Frog to abandon possible presidential run

In a joint update, from the Hensen Creature shop, and Sesame Street, It seems that Kermit the Frog will NOT be a nominee, in the 2012 Presidential race. In a prepared statement, Mr. Frog told a media gathering that his decision was NOT based upon...
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Funny story: Hollywood Producers Going Mad To Sign Up Pippa Middleton, Michelle Keegan And Sacha Parkinson After Stunning Bikini Photo Pics Reveal That Britain Really Does Have Talent

Hollywood Producers Going Mad To Sign Up Pippa Middleton, Michelle Keegan And Sacha Parkinson After Stunning Bikini Photo Pics Reveal That Britain Really Does Have Talent

It seems that Hollywood movie moguls have finally woken up to the reality that Britain really does have talent, after casting an eye over holiday snaps of Pippa Middleton, Michelle Keegan, Sacha Parkinson and others papped in skimpy bikinis. It ap...
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Funny story: UPS and FedEx trucks "officially" found

UPS and FedEx trucks "officially" found

In an update to a previously reported story, it turns out that the "missing" delivery trucks turned out NOT to be "missing" after all. According to Review expert Agatha Scrutinizer, whom the Department of Homeland Security assigned, to find the mi...
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