Funny story: Royal Wedding to go ahead in London despite radiation

Royal Wedding to go ahead in London despite radiation

Prince William and Kate Middleton will wear full nuclear radiation protection for their wedding in London on April 29th following the news that radiation particles have already reached Britain from the nuclear disaster in Japan. The happy couple...
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Funny story: Thanks to Obama, Al-Qaeda in Libya Swears to NOT Blow-up Freedom Center

Thanks to Obama, Al-Qaeda in Libya Swears to NOT Blow-up Freedom Center

The recent announcement, from the Obama administration, that the CIA and Pentagon will begin to covertly arm the rebels in Libya has set off alarm bells in some quarters. Why? Because creditable sources have confirmed that many of the rebels are a...
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Funny story: Japan Accidentally Evacuated After Nuke Tech Misreads LCD

Japan Accidentally Evacuated After Nuke Tech Misreads LCD

Japan was temporarily evacuated yesterday afternon after experts working at the stricken Fukushima Die Itchy power plant accidentally reported that radiation levels outside the plant were 10 million times higher than government safety levels. Air...
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Funny story: SuBo fanatics stage Quiltethon!

SuBo fanatics stage Quiltethon!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies are today staging their 24 hour live Quiltethon. The Quiltethon, broadcast live on the 'Happy Clappy Channel', will raise funds for the fanatic's next invasion of Blackburn, SuBo's hometown, due to t...
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Funny story: TheSpoof.com, World News Outlets Strike April Fools' Deal

TheSpoof.com, World News Outlets Strike April Fools' Deal

BERLIN - At a meeting between Mark, the owner of user-generated site theSpoof.com, and several major news outlets, a deal was made. The BBC, CNN, Reuters, AP, AFP, and a consortium of major newspapers and others agreed that for April Fools' Day, t...
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Funny story: NASA, ESA Joint Venture Delayed Out of Habit

NASA, ESA Joint Venture Delayed Out of Habit

WASHINGTON & BRUSSELS - A joint venture between NASA and ESA (European Space Agency) has been delayed because it's 'kinda like ritualistic'. The rocket was supposed to launch at 2.30pm GMT yesterday at the Florida base, carrying a payload of t...
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Funny story: Heidi Montag And The "Bachelor" Brad Womack Caught "Tongue Fu Diving" At Rob Pattinson's "Twilight" Party

Heidi Montag And The "Bachelor" Brad Womack Caught "Tongue Fu Diving" At Rob Pattinson's "Twilight" Party

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The star of the Twilight movies Rob Pattinson recently threw a "Twilight" party for several dozen of his best friends and one of those friends was Heidi Montag. Montag has recently taken somewhat of a bad rap on account of the fa...
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Funny story: Andrew Lloyd-Webber unable to ever have sex again - writing new musical on subject

Andrew Lloyd-Webber unable to ever have sex again - writing new musical on subject

Andew Lloyd-Webber is open about the fact that he can never have sex again. This is a side effect of having received treatment for prostate cancer. Many people cannot have sex for a variety of reasons but don't go shouting it off rooftops. Many a...
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Funny story: Arizona Law Makes English the Official Texting While Driving Language

Arizona Law Makes English the Official Texting While Driving Language

Phoenix, AZ - The Arizona Legislature today overwhelmingly passed the "English Only Texting While Driving" law. The new state law would make it illegal in Arizona to text in any language other than English while operating motor vehicles on state...
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Funny story: Big Bang Bustup!

Big Bang Bustup!

Scientists at Cambfordshire University have announced that they are still working on the theory of the so called 'Big Bang'. Fresh interest has been focussed on this tenuous proposition following a dangerous outbreak of common sense at a lecture given by opinionated 'expert' Dawkin Richards at the community centre in Woodtrip on the nase, Birmingdon Boffins claim that along time ago, the universe,...
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Funny story: Missing cobra in New York causes havoc in Central Park as it attacks a bitch!

Missing cobra in New York causes havoc in Central Park as it attacks a bitch!

The cobra that went AWOL out of the New York zoo has been located in Central park after several twitters led local snake hunters on a wild mongoose (they love snakes too) chase. It was spotted by two male New Yorkers escorting their bitch out for...
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Funny story: Spoofer in Forced Marriage as 'Partnership Credit' Passed by Tories

Spoofer in Forced Marriage as 'Partnership Credit' Passed by Tories

BIRMINGHAM - As the UK government passes the 'Partnership Credit' Bill in the House of Commons, many youths are being forced into marriage by money-hungry parents. Sadly, a Spoofer has been subject to this procedure. Inhopeless used to have a f...
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Funny story: Homeopathy works - Exclusive new evidence!

Homeopathy works - Exclusive new evidence!

For centuries the practice of homoeopathy has been ridiculed by real scientists, genuine doctors and other qualified medical practitioners on the grounds that there has never been one jot of evidence to support its efficacy. Not even a teeny weeny sp...
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Funny story: Police under suspicion for reggae star's death

Police under suspicion for reggae star's death

80s reggae musician Happy Ranker died this month during a police raid on his flat in the gritty east end of Bournemouth. He released two little known songs in the early 1980s called "Dat Good Ranking" and "Let Me Rank All Over Yo Face, Bitch". Fans a...
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Funny story: Donald Trump produces Silver Spoon That Was in His Mouth at Birth!

Donald Trump produces Silver Spoon That Was in His Mouth at Birth!

Appearing on 'The View' for the second time in two weeks, Donald Trump brought the silver spoon that was in mouth at birth. "This proves where I was born, said Trump." Whoopi Goldberg replied, "No, it doesn't prove where you were born. It just prove...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: The Season's First 'Casualty' Is "Psycho" Mike Catherwood

Dancing With The Stars: The Season's First 'Casualty' Is "Psycho" Mike Catherwood

HOLLYWOOD - The first Dancing With The Stars contestant to be sent home this season is the co-host of radio's Loveline "Psycho" Mike Catherwood. At the start of the DWTS season 97 percent of the shows viewers had never heard of him. But now af...
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Funny story: Saucy Nicki Minaj Subject of Hot Emails Between Mates

Saucy Nicki Minaj Subject of Hot Emails Between Mates

An admirer of Nicki Minaj asked a friend who was a school friend of hers to give him her email address. The Jack the lad was an admirer of the singer and said that she has 'a bum to die for'. He asked his friend Craig who used to go to a £9,000 a year boarding school with Minaj if he still had her email address. Jake Daniels said in his email "Nicki is so hot I love her big, sexy bum and...
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Funny story: Oprah Winfrey's Unbelievably Amazing Offer To Queen Elizabeth!

Oprah Winfrey's Unbelievably Amazing Offer To Queen Elizabeth!

LONDON - Oprah Winfrey the richest woman in the United States was recently invited by Queen Elizabeth to attend a dinner at Buckingham Palace in honor of legendary rhythm and blues artist Smokey Robinson, lead singer with one of Motown's greatest groups Smokey Robinson and The Miracles. The music legend who was born William Robinson, Jr., in Detroit has been performing for 55 years. And in that...
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Funny story: Moammar Gadhafi vs Barack Hussein Obama: Muslim Leaders Fight For "Dancing With Czars" Title

Moammar Gadhafi vs Barack Hussein Obama: Muslim Leaders Fight For "Dancing With Czars" Title

Not since Alexander the Great conquered the Persian Empire, some 300 years before the birth of Jesus, has there been a bigger fight to determine who should control the Middle East. In one corner, wearing Stars and Stipes mufti, the Muslim leader of...
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Funny story: Actor to commit suicide "in the public interest"

Actor to commit suicide "in the public interest"

After a particularly heavy clobbering at the hands of the media, Hollywood Legend and piss-artist, actor Mel Gibson, has decided to call it a day with a once-in-a-lifetime selfless gesture which will shock his many fans. "I just need to stop being a...
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Funny story: Royal wedding cake bombs

Royal wedding cake bombs

London - Police reckon royal fruitcake Prince Charles is behind a multilayered wedding cake bomb intercepted at Manama Airport. Bahraini customs officers said today they became suspicious because the Victoria sponge and semtex confection was festo...
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Funny story: Comic Relief official song raises millions

Comic Relief official song raises millions

It was announced today that the official Comic Relief song, "Gold Forever" about a member of the public ripped off by sending their scrap to www.weconanyone.9ct.com has been a sure fire hit for the charity, raising hundreds of pence to help the needy...
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Funny story: Broccoli is not a vegetable

Broccoli is not a vegetable

Fresh from the controversy over the scientific rebranding of aubergines, peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers as fruit that forced a major reshuffle in supermarkets around the country, scientists have now announced that broccoli is not a vegetable either.
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Funny story: Scientists new study reveals we are all in danger if we eat packaged or canned goods, which can cause cancer, obesity and heart problems.

Scientists new study reveals we are all in danger if we eat packaged or canned goods, which can cause cancer, obesity and heart problems.

Some Scientists have been studying the materials used in food and beverage packaging and have discovered some disturbing facts. Certain chemical additives used in the packaging of food and beverages, including plastics and cans, have been found to be substances which can be harmful to our health. Side effects can include, obesity, heart problems and even certain cancers, to name but a few.
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Funny story: Christina Aguilera Coy About Nude Photos

Christina Aguilera Coy About Nude Photos

Pop diva Christina Aguilera has been coy when asked about what was on her 'memory card' which she left in a Paris hotel room. Apparently the feisty beauty had taken some candid camera shots of her and her man getting frisky. The pair frolicked an...
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Funny story: "Cheryl Who?" Asks Jennifer Lopez

"Cheryl Who?" Asks Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez has admitted that she has 'no idea' whom Cheryl Cole is but is 'willing to learn'. The Latin beauty has been hosting a rival talent show to the US X-Factor and doesn't have a clue who Cheryl is. It would appear that no one in the U...
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Funny story: Obama Slowly Going Mad From Satellite Transmissions

Obama Slowly Going Mad From Satellite Transmissions

President Obama is easily recognizable in even the worst photos and caricatures because of his enormous auditory apparatus, and he is said to be quite sensitive about the subject. Now an anonymous source within the White House says that the presiden...
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Funny story: Barry Happy With Ghana Performance

Barry Happy With Ghana Performance

Gareth Barry, who captained England for the first time in the 1-1 draw against Ghana last night, was a happy man at the post match press conference. The Man City midfielder, who was given the armband in the absence of John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, St...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell Has Meltdown Due To US X-Factor Stress

Simon Cowell Has Meltdown Due To US X-Factor Stress

A source has said that worried shrinks think that Simon is 'losing it' over having to make a decision about X-Factor panel on both US and UK shows. Apparently Cowell has had terrible migraines and is in a hell of indecision. Medics are worried that...
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Funny story: Cloned offspring milk and meat to enter food chain

Cloned offspring milk and meat to enter food chain

Following a decision by the European Commission milk and meat from the offspring of cloned animals will be allowed to enter the food chain and is expected to be on the shelves of supermarkets by the end of summer. A major concern, that the genera...
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Funny story: Urgent Brain Operation Required As Mother's Warnings Ignored

Urgent Brain Operation Required As Mother's Warnings Ignored

An Oxfordshire man lost his brain, as it spilled out on to the pavement outside Goldsmith's, in Oxford city centre today. The unnamed man, 33, was nonchalantly waiting for his wife to stop looking at necklaces, when he began picking his nose. As h...
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Funny story: Crack Whores Report Higher Than Expected 1st Quarter Earnings

Crack Whores Report Higher Than Expected 1st Quarter Earnings

Going into this afternoon's earnings report, analysts had been expecting to see crack whores report earnings of 50 cents per share. Excluding one time items, crack whores stated their quarterly earnings were 54 cents. During the same period last y...
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Funny story: Sheen Meltdown - In Latest Rant Calls Ex-Wife, Denise, "A Vile Dog Thief"

Sheen Meltdown - In Latest Rant Calls Ex-Wife, Denise, "A Vile Dog Thief"

In his latest rant Sheen has branded his ex-wife Denise Richards as a 'kidnapper and a vile dog thief.' Sheen said the would attack her with 'napalm and dragon's blood'. In a worrying new 'melt down' Sheen has threatened Denise and referred to he...
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Funny story: A New Feature - The Gerry McFoote Exclusive

A New Feature - The Gerry McFoote Exclusive

Today we have the first in a series of exclusives from Scotland's most popular sports writer - the one and only Gerry McFoot The writer that's done for balanced journalism what Mary Whitehouse has done for nudity...... "You know what really gets on my goat (apart, of course, from not being knighted) - the countless small clubs that are sucking the lifeblood out of the game up here. Yes, t...
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Funny story: "Geeky" Ed Miliband To Wed But Brother David Will NOT Be Best Man

"Geeky" Ed Miliband To Wed But Brother David Will NOT Be Best Man

Geeky Labour leader Ed Miliband is set to marry in May. However, he has not asked brother David to be his best man and is not having one at all. Cynical political journalists are saying the wedding is just 'a stunt' to please any old 'fuddy duddi...
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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Addresses The Rumor That He Will Not Be Appearing In Any More &quotTwilight" Movies

Rob Pattinson Addresses The Rumor That He Will Not Be Appearing In Any More "Twilight" Movies

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Rob Pattinson, the star of the Twilight series of movies, jetted down to El Cabo, as the 'Jet Set' calls it, to get away from all of the hustle and bustle of the Tinsel Town limelight. He sat at the bar of the famed Whole Enchilada Hotel and Spa reading all about the ongoing mess in Libya in which Libyan dictator Colonel Moaamar Gadhafi has angered his people by placing...
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Funny story: Ohio Man Finds Japanese Reactor Core in His Backyard

Ohio Man Finds Japanese Reactor Core in His Backyard

Cleveland, OH - Rodger Ailes of Dawson, Ohio, woke up to quite the surprise Thursday morning when he found a super hot glowing chunk of metal in his backyard. It was quickly identified by local authorities as the radioactive core of a Japanese Nucle...
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Funny story: Nation Celebrates Joe Patroni Day

Nation Celebrates Joe Patroni Day

Chicago, IL - Amidst all the economic turmoil and other doom and gloom, the nation paused today to celebrate Joe Patroni Day. Named after the man whose indomitable spirit and refusal to give up in the face of fifty snowplows bearing down on him while...
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Funny story: Welbeck Accuses Fans of Racism

Welbeck Accuses Fans of Racism

England striker Danny Welbeck has accused Ghana's fans of racism after a Granny Smith apple was thrown at him on his debut at Wembley on Tuesday night. Welbeck, who was eligible to play for Ghana on account of his Ghanaian parents, elected to turn...
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Funny story: Cross burning in California

Cross burning in California

A black man stole an 11-foot cross from the Saint John's Lutheran Christian Church and set it on fire next to the home of a black family as a prank. He was upset with a 19-year-old woman who lives at the home because she had turned down his sexual ad...
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Funny story: Bonds: Testicle Shrinkage Due to Sex Change

Bonds: Testicle Shrinkage Due to Sex Change

Former baseball slugger Barry Bonds acknowledged today that his sperm-manufacturing organs did indeed atrophy-but not because he was taking steroids to make him more powerful at the plate. Bonds said he suffered the retracted gonads because he w...
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