Funny story: Cost cuts much more difficult when they affect us, admit government

Cost cuts much more difficult when they affect us, admit government

The government has admitted sweeping public sector cost cuts are much more difficult to deliver. This follows the results of a study conducted by an independent think tank, which revealed that the move would affect the lives of MPs, and not just the...
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Funny story: Judge me by my on-field displays of childish petulance, pleads Ashley Cole

Judge me by my on-field displays of childish petulance, pleads Ashley Cole

Chelsea and England defender Ashley Cole says people should judge him on the childish displays of petulance that have punctuated his footballing career, not the equally repulsive manner in which he allegedly conducts his private life. Cole, who ha...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie dating Justin Bieber

Angelina Jolie dating Justin Bieber

Angelina Jolie stopped into an internet cafe earlier today and not only opened up about her relationship with Justin Bieber, but confirmed it! She was wearing a small, pink dress with blush on her cheeks and her hair was tied in two pony tails. "...
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Funny story: Scientists develop bioplastic

Scientists develop bioplastic

Scientists in Point Lees University, Keele, have developed a new plastic that is biodegradable, made from renewable sources and versatile. "This is the ultimate plastic," said Teresa Plant, lead materials science officer at Point Lees's chemistry...
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Funny story: Flying Ants - Helpful Tips And Money Saving Solutions With Martin Shuttlecock

Flying Ants - Helpful Tips And Money Saving Solutions With Martin Shuttlecock

Flying ants eh? What do you do with them? Good question. On the face of it, flying ants are fucking useless. But are they? We sent Skoob Magazine's very own Martin Shuttlecock out to investigate. He unearthed the following facts down the pub: * The best way to deal with them, is to stamp on them, or hit the fuckers with a rolled up newspaper. *If there are literally millions of the bug...
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Funny story: Fergie's Husband Josh Duhamel Denies He's Cheating With Transformer's Co-Star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Fergie's Husband Josh Duhamel Denies He's Cheating With Transformer's Co-Star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - The Black-Eyed Peas broke the attendance record at The Cheddar Cheese Convention Center, formerly known as The Cheddar Cheese Arena with their recent performance. The newly-remodeled convention center went from having a seat...
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Funny story: All Innit Together, Dave: Rebekah Brooks reminds PM Cameron

All Innit Together, Dave: Rebekah Brooks reminds PM Cameron

London - The Red Top mobile hacking scandal took a reassuring turn for the better today. News International boss and personal 'Big' Dave Cameron pal Rebekah Brooks invoked some legendary Dunkirk spirit with a gentle All Innit Together, Dave! nudge...
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Funny story: McCain's Space Shuttle hijack foiled: FBI cancels senator's 'mission to Mars'

McCain's Space Shuttle hijack foiled: FBI cancels senator's 'mission to Mars'

Cape Canaveral, Florida - The FBI has thwarted a plot by Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona) to hijack the final mission of the US space shuttle and fly the craft to Mars. "You can take the sky away from an old Navy pilot, but you can't take the old Navy...
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Funny story: Pippa Middleton has yearning to be a WAG

Pippa Middleton has yearning to be a WAG

A reporter from 'The Daily Tacky' revealed some surprising news in the 'Tacky' this morning. Apparently Pippa Middleton has been following news about the WAGs and admitted that she has been harbouring a secret....she has had a yearning to be a WAG s...
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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Reveals His Secret Crush To Co-Stars Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder

Rob Pattinson Reveals His Secret Crush To Co-Stars Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder

HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Twilight series Rob Pattinson is starring with Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder in a motion picture which is based on their hit show The Vampire Diaries. The movie which is being directed by Manolo Middlezuck is entitled...
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Funny story: "You Can All F*ck Off!" Letters To The Editor From People Who Say "You Can All F*ck Off"

"You Can All F*ck Off!" Letters To The Editor From People Who Say "You Can All F*ck Off"

LIVERPOOL FC Dear Editor, I'm not usually one to tell people to 'f*ck off' but I feel that it's necessary to tell all the non-Scousers who support Liverpool Football Club to 'f*ck off.' It may well be that I've grasped the wrong end of the stick here, so I don't object to Liverpool supporters gobbing off, providing they're proper Scousers. I can't be doing with Australian Scousers, or New Je...
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Funny story: Chavvy Hugo gets de-loused in Cuba

Chavvy Hugo gets de-loused in Cuba

Hugo Chavez, the chubby Mexican ruler of some South American country, has returned from a trip to Cuba to cure an infection of a rather nasty STD. He claimed he didn't know where he caught the VD (Venezuela Disease), but unfortunately he had left it...
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Funny story: Scottish independence sparks windfall for English tax payers

Scottish independence sparks windfall for English tax payers

MP's voted today to give Scotland its long awaited independence. That's good news for English tax payers who have been subsidising Scotland for hundreds of years. It is estimated that each English tax payer coughs up £1,450 per year for our border c...
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Funny story: "Rihanna, Gaga, J-Lo, Beyonce Can't Sing For Sh*t Compared to Millie Jackson" Says Outspoken Local Man

"Rihanna, Gaga, J-Lo, Beyonce Can't Sing For Sh*t Compared to Millie Jackson" Says Outspoken Local Man

Local man, part time satirist and full time waster, Martin Shuttlecock, who according to his schoolteachers "would never amount to anything much" came out with this amazing statement as he took a break from digging out a subterranean ten room extensi...
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Funny story: The Spoof! Now A Crime In Progress

The Spoof! Now A Crime In Progress

Police from the London Met shut down The Spoof! and declared it a crime scene or to be a more exact the scene of a crime in progress. The police received the following tip off from spoofter Alex99 who wrote an email to them in which he described h...
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Funny story: Husband complains about my male colleague

Husband complains about my male colleague

Dear Bonnie Contention, I work in an office with mostly men and have become really friendly with one guy in particular. We just hit it off straight away and share loads of interests. We have a laugh, too, and our sense of humour is very similar. Although my husband's never met him he's always niggling at me jealously. He's even threatened to come round to the office and 'have it out'.
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Funny story: David Haye's broken toe and Sonny Liston's penis for sale on E Bay

David Haye's broken toe and Sonny Liston's penis for sale on E Bay

The broken toe of boxer David Haye is for sale on E Bay. The little toe is being offered for £24-95 with a £2-95 Standard Delivery charge. Boxers' body parts have been attracting lots of interest from fight fans. Collector Wally Nonce, who was...
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Funny story: Finger length gives clue to size of manhood, say scientists

Finger length gives clue to size of manhood, say scientists

THE length of a man's fingers gives a clue to the size of his manhood. An index finger that is shorter than the ring finger may indicate a longer penis, according to scientists. Previous studies have shown strong evidence that testosterone in t...
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Funny story: Has Cheryl Cole Gone Completely Mental Or What? - Local Man Asks After Seeing Twitter Message

Has Cheryl Cole Gone Completely Mental Or What? - Local Man Asks After Seeing Twitter Message

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, barely recovered from the dual ordeals of sausage flavoured lager and a malfunctioning mobile phone, this morning almost choked on his porridge when he accessed his Twitter account and saw a message posted by former Gir...
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Funny story: Press jump to conclusions

Press jump to conclusions

News International may have libelled Christopher Jeffries, who was arrested in connection with the murder of Joanna Yates. He is now hopefully on track to get massive compensation for articles which found him guilty when he had not even been tried. Thus to find a reporter on behalf of News International hacking a phone of missing schoolgirl Milly Dowler and then deleting her messages guilty bef...
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Funny story: Gives Us Yours Moneys Darlinglys

Gives Us Yours Moneys Darlinglys

Well, Nancy does not seem too bothered by having a prisoner as her true love. Amazingly her grammar improved dramatically when it came to the money shot. And I am left with a dilemma-shall I contact Standard Chartered in London or not? I now understand why Kim Jong Ill replied to Larry Chukwuemeka and why Bernard Bernanke responded to Damani Maru and why Greece is so bankrupt right now. Here...
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Funny story: Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez, Manchester United player, being stalked by sexy TAG

Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez, Manchester United player, being stalked by sexy TAG

The Daily Tacky today published a disturbing story Chicharito of Man. U. is apparently being stalked by a sexy member of the newly formed TAGs group (Tarts And Girlfriends of football fans). This is a strange move as the TAGs spokeswoman did say t...
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Funny story: BBC Weather Forecasters' Stressful Life

BBC Weather Forecasters' Stressful Life

Spare a thought for the weather men and women on the BBC - we expect so much from them, they are losing sleep... and worse. Ever since Michael Fish assured the nation there was no hurricane on the way just hours before 1988's "storm of the century...
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Funny story: Kate and Wills to visit long-lost reptilian relatives

Kate and Wills to visit long-lost reptilian relatives

Alberta - Genetic efforts to find the missing link between the royals and their four-legged cold-blooded relations are set for a big boost. The couple will visit The Alberta Reptile and Amphibian Society on Thursday in an unscheduled trip to conne...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber To Appear On Girlfriend Selena Gomez's Show 'The Wizards of Waverly Place'

Justin Bieber To Appear On Girlfriend Selena Gomez's Show 'The Wizards of Waverly Place'

NEW YORK CITY - The executives of the hit television show The Wizards of Waverly Place are happy to announce that teen singing sensation Justin Bieber will be appearing on an upcoming episode of their show. The shows producer had no problem gettin...
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Funny story: Schadenfreude as Blair Screws up his Peerage

Schadenfreude as Blair Screws up his Peerage

Today Blair was today frantically scrabbling around trying to get back in favour as it dawned on him that he has probably pissed on his chips when it comes to the whole "Lord Blair" thing. Sources close to Blair have indicated he does now realise...
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Funny story: Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts Reveal Why Their Movie "Larry Crowne" Flopped

Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts Reveal Why Their Movie "Larry Crowne" Flopped

HERMOSA BEACH - The two super stars of the movie Larry Crowne were in Hermosa Beach promoting their latest movie which by early accounts will not be around very long. Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, two names who use to practically guarantee that a f...
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Funny story: Some Kind of Reply to Nancy Paulson

Some Kind of Reply to Nancy Paulson

Well, I am a bit tardy in replying to my fan mail. As promised to my readers this is my reply to Nancy Paulsons ,'Me Love You Thong Time' email. You will note that I have included a Russian email address in the hope that the Nigerian scamsters will rip off the Russian mob and start an international turf war. You never know and can always live in hope. I will of course publish Nancy's reply because...
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Funny story: Ke$ha Explains The Britney Spears Lesbian Rumors

Ke$ha Explains The Britney Spears Lesbian Rumors

HACIENDA HEIGHTS - Ke$ha recently spoke with Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight at a Pizza Gal Restaurant in Hacienda Heights. The singer who had a big hit with her song "We R Who We Say We R" and then with her follow up song "We B Who We Sa...
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Funny story: Doris Day Survives Cat Mauling

Doris Day Survives Cat Mauling

Renowned animal lover and cat collector Doris Day treated herself at home after she was scratched multiple times in what she claims was a coordinated attack by scores of cats that lived in two of the bedrooms of her three-bedroom $1.3 million dollar...
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Funny story: Freddy the Frog Jumps into US Presidential Race

Freddy the Frog Jumps into US Presidential Race

In a surprise occurrence, a previously unknown candidate has jumped into the race for the 2012 United States President. The announcement was made at an afternoon press conference by Freddy the Frog's campaign manager Bubba Croaker. Freddy the Fr...
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Funny story: German Neo Nazi's Ditch Skin Head Look by Wearing Burkas Instead

German Neo Nazi's Ditch Skin Head Look by Wearing Burkas Instead

In an effort to blend in mainstream society German Nazis are switching to burkhas. The new Nazi uniform is pink and purple and it was chosen via a secret straw poll in a Berlin shopping centre.'I think that we look beautiful,' said Adolph Goebbels...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Ill Assassinated At Long Last!

Kim Jong Ill Assassinated At Long Last!

Fifty rabbits were slaughtered at the church of satan led by Magus Last Emperor Kim Jong Ill during the BBC's first ever Songs of Praise broadcast at Hell's Kitchen on July 3rd. One of our reporters was present at the service because he wanted to int...
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