Funny story: More Letters To The Editor About Phone Hacking And Marsupials

More Letters To The Editor About Phone Hacking And Marsupials

Dear Sir, it's a damned queer affair about these colonial johnnies from Australia, what? Not content with stealing sheep and loaves of bread from honest shopkeepers in the 19th century, what do they do when they get transported to the world's most God-forsaken hell-hole? They make it into a veritable University of Crime, that's what the sewers do. First they hunt the aboriginals to extinc...
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Funny story: Budget Cuts at the Ministry of Defence

Budget Cuts at the Ministry of Defence

The Ministry of Defence has announced job cuts in the armed forces of over one hundred thousand front line men and women. "This may sound, at first, like terrible news," said Brigadier Brian Gardener. "It's a huge number of soldiers. What we're ac...
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Funny story: Man Threatens "not" to Sue Anyone

Man Threatens "not" to Sue Anyone

A San Diego, California man has threatened he will not sue anyone at all for any reason whatsoever. Forty two year old Jerry Don Looney has been barricaded in his house since yesterday afternoon. Police have the entire building surrounded and have been trying to get Mr. Looney to surrender peaceably. The incident started harmlessly enough when a neighbor of Looney's, Sally Post, accident...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks to star in Last Night I Went to Wapping Again

Rebekah Brooks to star in Last Night I Went to Wapping Again

Sexy, flame haired, femme fatale Rebekah Brooks is to star as a modern day Rebecca in an updated film version of the classic Daphne Du Maurier melodrama. The blockbuster movie, Last Night I Went To Wapping Again, will be directed by talented neig...
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Funny story: Google named as third party in divorce settlement

Google named as third party in divorce settlement

A landmark court case today has sensationally named the search engine Google as the third party in the divorce of Alsie and Laslie Harpoon of Yorkshire. Alsie filed for divorce, citing Mr Harpoon's "obsession" with the search engine "unreasonable".
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Funny story: Red Top Mystery Deepens Over NOW Reporter Allegedly Found DOA in Locked Luggage!

Red Top Mystery Deepens Over NOW Reporter Allegedly Found DOA in Locked Luggage!

Nobody ever said the Brits weren't tidy, as yet another high profile public figure was found dead in a locked gym back in his apartment, according to Scotland Yard, who found 'nothing remotely suspicious' in the discovery. The body, found bagged a...
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Funny story: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie To Star In Their Own Reality Show "Brad and Angie Plus 6"

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie To Star In Their Own Reality Show "Brad and Angie Plus 6"

PROVENCE, France - It is no secret that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's relationship has been one big gigantic roller coaster ride with enough ups and downs to make even the greatest die-hard roller coaster enthusiast dizzy. Reports surface that Br...
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Funny story: Agoraphobia Set To Become An Epidemic

Agoraphobia Set To Become An Epidemic

Experts predict that by the year 2099, eighty percent of the UK's population will suffer from agoraphobia. By then most shopping will be done on line and with unemployment forecast at 90 percent, people will have no reason to leave the house, resu...
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Funny story: New Smart Technology Announced for Any Device, Any Time, Anywhere

New Smart Technology Announced for Any Device, Any Time, Anywhere

Buying the lion's share of available technology patents from Nortel Corporation, a consortium of industry leaders including Apple, IBM, and Microsoft have launched a new company that offers complete information access and deep monitoring services to...
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Funny story: Curse of Wapping strikes again as NOTW whistleblower Sean Hoare found dead

Curse of Wapping strikes again as NOTW whistleblower Sean Hoare found dead

London - The search for the illusive 'smoking gun' in the NewsCorpse hacking scandal took a macabre twist today. Ex-NOTW writer Sean Hoare - who first fingered Andy Coulson in a New York Times hacking expose - was found dead at his home in Watford...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Isle of Moan

Isle of Wight News - Isle of Moan

The Isle of Wight has tied with the Isle of Man to become England's whiniest places. "I think it's a disgrace," said spokesperson for Tourism and Excuses, Tom Bowler. "This survey has been conducted by some Australian group who came at it from the...
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Funny story: Casey Anthony Has Been Offered The Lead Part In The Movie "What??? - The Casey Anthony Story"

Casey Anthony Has Been Offered The Lead Part In The Movie "What??? - The Casey Anthony Story"

ORLANDO, Florida - According to the attorney for Casey Anthony a producer from Denmark Svendborg Bingaloft has asked Anthony to appear in a motion picture based on her life story. The producer at first offered the part to Jessica Alba but she turn...
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Funny story: British 'welly boot' manufacturer importing 'wellies' from Europe preparing for record downpours

British 'welly boot' manufacturer importing 'wellies' from Europe preparing for record downpours

'Rubber Boots R Us' has completely sold out of wellington boots, affectionately referred to by many as 'wellies'. CEO of the largest Rubber Boot company in England, Willy 'Wellie' Gumshoe, tells of employees working 24/7 shipping 'wellies' from wa...
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Funny story: Shylock Humes. And the case of the pink Oboe Player

Shylock Humes. And the case of the pink Oboe Player

Shylock woke with a start. His colostomy bag had leaked and he had recieved a nasty shock from the electric blanket. "Blast!" Shylock exclaimed, as he empted the colostomy bag into the wash basin situated in his room. "What would Mrs Miggins, his Landlady think, if she knew what he had done"? mused Shylock. Mrs Miggins rose from the sodden sheets and towled herself down. "You mus learn t...
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Funny story: Pippa Middleton Has Agreed To Appear As A Guest Judge On 'America's Got Talent'

Pippa Middleton Has Agreed To Appear As A Guest Judge On 'America's Got Talent'

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of America's Got Talent have confirmed that Pippa Middleton the sister of Prince William's wife Princess Kate has agreed to appear on America's Got Talent. Pippa, who is known in America as "PipMiddy" recently spoke with...
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Funny story: Teaching Hospitals open wards in order to study detoxing 'News of the World' readers

Teaching Hospitals open wards in order to study detoxing 'News of the World' readers

A number of Teaching Hospitals have opened wards for the sole purpose of admitting and performing scientific studies on former News of the World readers who are not coping at all well with the closing down of their favourite newspaper. A Professor...
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Funny story: They Died With Their Work Boots On

They Died With Their Work Boots On

The latest film by the Coen Brothers, is to be a modern day re make of the 1941 classic Raoul Walsh western, They Died With Their Boots On. Where as the original followed the life of General George Armstrong Custer up to his death at the Little B...
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Funny story: News of the World readers "in mourning"

News of the World readers "in mourning"

Millions of people across the UK were said to be in a state of mild depression this Sunday. It is the first weekend since the phone-hacking, muck-raking tabloid the News of the World was scrapped. Sales of rival publications "Hello!" and "Readers'...
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Funny story: China Calls Mortgage on White House, Blames Sinking Real Estate Values and Binging First Family!

China Calls Mortgage on White House, Blames Sinking Real Estate Values and Binging First Family!

The Peoples Bank of China (PBOC), the country's central bank, and holder of most of the US debt, today sent shock waves through the international monetary system when it called the mortgage loan on The White House, downgraded US Treasury bonds to 'ju...
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Funny story: Anthony hiding out in the White House

Anthony hiding out in the White House

An undisclosed source today revealed that First Lady Michele Obama has invited Casey Anthony, recently released accused child killer, to "hide out" in the White House in Washington, D.C. Mrs. Obama stated, "Barack and I are never there, so someone...
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Funny story: LeAnn Rimes Answers A Pregnant Question

LeAnn Rimes Answers A Pregnant Question

NASHVILLE - LeAnn Rimes and her husband, Eddie Cibrian recently visited a guitar repair shop in Nashville. While at the store she and Eddie had a nice chat with the store's owner, Kinkaid "Bubba" Pluckershank who it turned out had attended high sc...
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Funny story: Malaury Martin, 22 yr. old French mid-fielder excited to be signed by Middlesbrough FC volunteering to help clean up Saltburn beach

Malaury Martin, 22 yr. old French mid-fielder excited to be signed by Middlesbrough FC volunteering to help clean up Saltburn beach

Youngster Malaury Martin (22), a recent signing for Middlesbrough FC (The Boro) is excited to be joining the club and looks foward to helping get the club back into the EPL. Martin said that The Boro is always thought of as a Premiership Club in F...
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Funny story: Police Refuse to Disclose that Casey Anthony is Hiding out in a House on Florida's Diamond Isle

Police Refuse to Disclose that Casey Anthony is Hiding out in a House on Florida's Diamond Isle

Sergeant Donald AfterThought, disclosed to an anxious press that he, nor any of the people involved with the release of Casey Anthony, will never disclose that she is staying in a small secluded beach house on Florida's Diamond Isle. "Listen", pro...
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Funny story: Essex euthanasia scandal. Day two

Essex euthanasia scandal. Day two

The village green at Landfill Tawny which up until recently echoed to the sound of leather on willow and the voices of young children at play now drones to the sound of generators feeding electricity to the plethora of press and TV vans. The usual...
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Funny story: Robert Plant Mistaken For Rebekah Brooks, Briefly Arrested

Robert Plant Mistaken For Rebekah Brooks, Briefly Arrested

London, England-- Rock star Robert Plant was taken into custody yesterday by Scotland Yard in a case of mistaken identity. The legendary singer of Led Zeppelin was mistaken for Rebekah Brooks, the central figure in the Rupert Murdoch hacking scandal...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks meets Carrot Top in secret

Rebekah Brooks meets Carrot Top in secret

Rebekah Brooks recently heard about the resemblance noted between herself and US Comedian 'Carrot Top'. She was so intrigued that she set up a secret meeting with Scott (his real name). They sat down at a small table in a basement cafe downtown L...
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Funny story: Carol Burnett says Rebeka Brooks Giving Redheads a Bad Name!

Carol Burnett says Rebeka Brooks Giving Redheads a Bad Name!

US comedy star Carol Burnett is furious over the UK scandal involving former News of the World editor (sic) Rebekah Brooks, saying the unkempt redhead is bringing disrepute to the small minority of redheaded women seen favourably in the public eye.
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Funny story: Craig Bellamy to face Celtic

Craig Bellamy to face Celtic

In an effort to force Craig Bellamy to hand in a transfer request, Roberto Mancini has told Bellamy that he must face a series of non-league teams in pre-season friendlies. "I have already told him to play against Altrincham," said Mancini. "To hi...
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Funny story: BBC Spends £1m On Actors To Train Managers To Face Angry Staff

BBC Spends £1m On Actors To Train Managers To Face Angry Staff

Derision was being heaped on the BBC today after it emerged that the broadcaster had spent £1 million on training managerial staff how to talk to angry staff. The Corporation engaged the talents of React Acting For Business, whose actors trained b...
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Funny story: David Beckham is a "Twit-ter-er" and proves it by "twittering" the new baby!

David Beckham is a "Twit-ter-er" and proves it by "twittering" the new baby!

New daddy, David Beckham, is over the moon about his new daughter, Harper (?) and because he's a "Twit-ter" decided to twitter photos of the new born baby so the world can also enjoy his happy moments (just like any other dad basically). David use...
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Funny story: Darren Clarke Wins British Open, Refuses Breathalyzer Test!

Darren Clarke Wins British Open, Refuses Breathalyzer Test!

Forty-two year old Irishman Darren Clarke, who is said to fancy a pint now and then as well as a good cigar, waltzed home at 5 under par to taken home the Claret Jug at Royal St. George at Sandwich! The win sent Irish country men rushing to their...
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Funny story: Prison Policy Breakthrough

Prison Policy Breakthrough

Ken Clarke has come up with a policy that should reduce the prison population considerably, thus enabling the treasury to organise a tax cut for those earning over £100,000 a year. Clarke, in private discussions that I somehow overheard, has decid...
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Funny story: Captain Mainwairing:

Captain Mainwairing: "Dad's Army Territorials to be expanded, to make up for cuts to regular soldiers."

Walmington-On-Sea, East Coast, England: Some of the British population may be surprised to learn that in one part of England, martial law is still in place. Captain Mainwairing is still in charge, still believing an imminent invasion of the Nazi hordes is on the cards. Now that Liam Fox, the Defence Secretary, has announced the Army will be cut by a fifth from its current size of 102,000 to ar...
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Funny story: United Nations Approves Anus Printing Identification

United Nations Approves Anus Printing Identification

GENEVA-The United Nations has unanimously given approval for Governments to introduce a new form of personal identification known as anus printing at an annual meeting in Geneva, Switzerland. Anus printing involves taking a digital photo of the a...
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Funny story: Obama praised for rise in Buddhism

Obama praised for rise in Buddhism

HIS HOLINESS the Dalai Lama received a warm welcome in the White House during his recent visit and applauded the efforts of President Obama in continuing the work originated by his predecessor George W Bush. If current trends are maintained it is...
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Funny story: Murdoch Adds New Titles To His UK News Stable

Murdoch Adds New Titles To His UK News Stable

Despite the growing global controversy which is engulfing News International, Rupert Murdoch has surprised media watchers by adding yet a further notable journal to his UK stable. This comes at a time when Murdoch was expected to sell his UK titles a...
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Funny story: British Rail to introduce Contingency Catering

British Rail to introduce Contingency Catering

Following the recent surge in disruptive events and the number of trains held outside stations, a leading rail manufacturer has announced that it is developing a new range of emergency catering arrangements. The announcement from the press office...
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Funny story: News International Scandal - BBC Coverage Has Media Reporters Up In Arms

News International Scandal - BBC Coverage Has Media Reporters Up In Arms

Media reporting staff at the BBC are up in arms over the corporation's coverage of the News International crisis. For years, listeners to Radio 4's Today programme and viewers of TV news bulletins have been accustomed to listening to media corresp...
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Funny story: SpyGames in doubt as applications fall

SpyGames in doubt as applications fall

The future of the World Spy Games is in doubt this week as it has been revealed that following the collapse of the News Of The World, both the number of competitors applications and the sponsorship for the championships has fallen dramatically. Us...
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Funny story: Casey Anthony Catching a Ride to Texas

Casey Anthony Catching a Ride to Texas

Paineful News - After hiding in her attorney Cheney "Mumbles" Mason's office in downtown Orlando all Sunday, the infamous Ms. Anthony is now on her way to Texas, Paineful News learned this evening. According to our insider, a very relieved Jose Ba...
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Funny story: A Bachmann-Palin Ticket or is it a Palin-Bachmann Republican Ticket in 2012

A Bachmann-Palin Ticket or is it a Palin-Bachmann Republican Ticket in 2012

Tampa Bay FL: The 2012 Republican National Convention has selected Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as their standard bearers to run against Democratic President Barack Obama and VP Joseph Bidden. The v...
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Funny story: New Sunday Newspaper Editor - It Isn't Robert Louis Stephenson

New Sunday Newspaper Editor - It Isn't Robert Louis Stephenson

Well known TV spirit medium Colin Dye says he's been in contact with dead Scottish novelist Robert Louis Balfour Stephenson, has asked him if he's been offered the position of editor for a new Sunday newspaper, and says Mr Stephenson told him has has...
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Funny story: Casey Anthony's Male "Nanny" Calls it Quits

Casey Anthony's Male "Nanny" Calls it Quits

Paineful News - As previously reported by Paineful News, the infamous Ms. Anthony was last seen hiding at Cheney "Mumbles" Mason's downtown Orlando office in the care of a male "nanny" recruited from Mr. Mason's staff. The "nanny," who wants to re...
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Funny story: Casey Anthony Released From Prison And It Is Believed That She Will Go Into Hiding With Gilbert Gottfried

Casey Anthony Released From Prison And It Is Believed That She Will Go Into Hiding With Gilbert Gottfried

ORLANDO, Florida - Casey Anthony walked out of Orlando's Seedless Orange Prison For Women amid dozens of loud, boisterous chants consisting of every four letter word ever written. A reporter for The Big Apple Gazette Fitzwater Ribicoff reported th...
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