Funny story: Ishmail On Sunday Makes Bid For News Of The World

Ishmail On Sunday Makes Bid For News Of The World

Leading Sunday newspaper, Ishmail on Sunday, has made a last minute bid for fallen flag ship floundering news rag, News of The World. The respected Sunday news sheet has put the money on the table and invited Rupert Morecock to hand over the print...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks Shares A Cell With Fizz Off Coronation Street - Prison Staff Confused

Rebekah Brooks Shares A Cell With Fizz Off Coronation Street - Prison Staff Confused

It hasn't been confirmed yet, and quite frankly, it sounds quite hard to believe - a bit like an article in the Daily Mail - but apparently, former head of the News Of The World, Rebekah Brooks, has been banged up in a cell at Strangeways prison, Man...
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Funny story: Ali Bullo Sacked By Alan Sugar On The Apprentice

Ali Bullo Sacked By Alan Sugar On The Apprentice

Local kebab shop and burger van entrepreneur, Ali Bullo, was today sacked by Lord Sugar before he ever even got on the telly on an episode of The Apprentice. Ali Bullo described the decision by the Amstrad supremo as "a bit silly really. Innit bru...
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Funny story: Rupert Bear and The Nerds Of The Wold. Part 1

Rupert Bear and The Nerds Of The Wold. Part 1

Rupert sat behind his huge desk, and wondered what orders he could give next. He had only been in the office an hour, and he had sacked fifteen people, closed four newsagents, employed a mate of Daffid Cameroon, for a consideration, and sold his mothers house without her knowing. "Ms Book, why do we have no black people working here?" Enquired Rupert, into his speaker phone. "You a racist Mr...
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Funny story: Casey Anthony Hiding in Mason's Office

Casey Anthony Hiding in Mason's Office

After being released from jail early this morning, the infamous Ms. Anthony is reportedly hiding temporarily in the downtown Orlando office of Cheney "Mumbles" Mason. Apparently, Mr. Baez is desperately trying to find a place for her to hide, but...
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Funny story: Top Gear have to use a German car

Top Gear have to use a German car

Top Gear have admitted that the English car they tried, an E-Type Jag, was not up to the job of pulling five caravans along a stretch of Britain's rail network, and had to switch to using an Audi, a German car. "We really wanted to use an English...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie was webbed up with Grant Mitchell

Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie was webbed up with Grant Mitchell

Revelations about the murky criminal past of Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie Brooks have rocked the Establishment. Charlie Brooks, now masquerading as an aristocrat novelist, is believed to have been involved in cocaine addiction, prostitution an...
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Funny story: Close friend of Rebekah Brooks reveals that Rebekah has a crush on Ireland's Darren Clarke. Oldest winner of Open Championship since 1967

Close friend of Rebekah Brooks reveals that Rebekah has a crush on Ireland's Darren Clarke. Oldest winner of Open Championship since 1967

A close friend of Rebekah Brooks has revealed that whilst other women are out there chasing after football stars, such as Chicharito and John Terry, Rebekah has a really big crush on Ireland's golfer, Darren Clarke, 42 years of age. Darren is the...
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Funny story: More Outtakes From Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

More Outtakes From Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence (how else could they look? did you ever hear of such a thing as a noisy look?). At length the caterpillar took the hookah pipe out of its mouth, and spoke to Alice in a languid drawl ('I've never been in a languid drawl before', thought Alice; 'it really is rather uncomfortable'). 'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. Thi...
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Funny story: Weather "Unsettled" - Nonsense, Says Local Man

Weather "Unsettled" - Nonsense, Says Local Man

An exasperated local man has described TV and radio weather reports as nonsense. Mr Danbert Plebiscite, of Spandex Gardens, Pittsville, is so fed up with the weather forecasts that he e-mailed a friend, Nobby, to complain. EIF News & Featur...
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Funny story: Irish Fella Lumps Ball Around Kent Field With A Stick And Wins A Claret Jug

Irish Fella Lumps Ball Around Kent Field With A Stick And Wins A Claret Jug

A Northern Irish fella named Darren Clarke was celebrating this evening after lumping a little white ball around a field in Sandwich, Kent, and knocking the little white ball down some holes, using a variety of longish sticks. With bits of metal o...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks vehemently denies that she has any knowledge of the Mystery Blonde's identity

Rebekah Brooks vehemently denies that she has any knowledge of the Mystery Blonde's identity

The rumour that Rebekah Brooks actually knows the identity of The Mystery Blonde is said to be just that, a rumour. Rebekah denies any knowledge of The Mystery Blonde although people are asking each other how Rebekah can be believed after all that...
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Funny story: Rebekah-of-Suny-Bay-Funny-Farm arrested in hacking scandal

Rebekah-of-Suny-Bay-Funny-Farm arrested in hacking scandal

London - Rebekah Wade has been arrested for a series of sartorial horrors involving some truly horrendous hacking jackets. A series of disgraceful equestrian haute couture faux pas has seen the wife of ex-National Hunt trainer Charlie Brooks haule...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks's husband publishes Slags book

Rebekah Brooks's husband publishes Slags book

When Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie published his first book in 2009, David Cameron, Rupert Murdoch and Guy Ritchie attended the launch at Nincompoop, the West End nightclub. The complex novel,called Fillies, covered a world Brooks knew well as...
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Funny story: It's to late now for you to be sorry. Brits who decided to 'holiday at home' now wondering if they made the right decision

It's to late now for you to be sorry. Brits who decided to 'holiday at home' now wondering if they made the right decision

Nora and John Cushion are now wondering if they made the right decision to 'holiday at home' this year with five other couples in Stockton, England. Recent weather forecasts tell of record-breaking rainfall and winds up to 30 miles/hour in their '...
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Funny story: Lewis Hamilton To Marry!

Lewis Hamilton To Marry!

British Formula 1 racing driver Lewis Hamilton has announced he is to marry a cat. The twenty-six year old 2008 Formula One World Champion who currently drives for McLaren made the surprise announcement to the press yesterday following widespread rum...
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Funny story: Palin Blames Dismal Movie Debut on Witchcraft and Harry Potter

Palin Blames Dismal Movie Debut on Witchcraft and Harry Potter

Orange County CA (AP) Defeated Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin's new documentary "Undefeated" opened in selected theaters to abysmal ticket sales and largely negative reviews. The documentary, which some critics have termed, "a sickening self p...
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Funny story: No One in Rome Ever Had Anything to Do With Sejanus, Records Show

No One in Rome Ever Had Anything to Do With Sejanus, Records Show

Despite his meteoric rise to power, his total control of the Senate, Tribunes and the Praetorian Guard and also the vice-like grip he held over the city for over fifteen years, it emerged today that not one single person in Rome had had much to do wi...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks arrested by appointment? Or is it American comedian Carrot Top?

Rebekah Brooks arrested by appointment? Or is it American comedian Carrot Top?

Rebeckah Brooks continues to receive special treatment and was arrested 'by appointment' today. This is the headline in many Sunday Papers this morning. Police are not a liberty to name the person they arrested but this person does have flaming re...
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Funny story: Film Sequels to Be Considered by UK Government

Film Sequels to Be Considered by UK Government

The UK Coalition Government, realising they are losing popularity, and worried that this will affect their MPs prime directive - "To make as much money as possible", have come up with the idea of producing some famous film remakes, to star various members of the cabinet and opposition. Here we offer some suggestions, with the recommended member to star in the film: 'Carry on Regardless', 'Do...
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Funny story: Evil Man

Evil Man

There's a man I know about, and to be perfectly honest, he is evil. He isn't, if I'm correct in thinking this way, your normal idea of someone who has been tagged with this description; he hasn't raped or murdered anyone; he hasn't stolen an old lady's life savings; he hasn't, to my knowledge, supplied drugs to schoolchildren, and he hasn't shown extreme cruelty to any animals. Why, then, shoul...
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Funny story: Manchester United's Chicharito has received a postcard from The Mystery Blonde

Manchester United's Chicharito has received a postcard from The Mystery Blonde

Chicharito admits to having received a postcard from Niagara Falls last week, signed "See you soon, MB". Having followed stories about the Mystery Blonde and knowing one sighting of her was in Niagara Falls, he came to the conclusion that MB o...
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Funny story: Derren Brown tricks his way to the 140th Open Championship

Derren Brown tricks his way to the 140th Open Championship

Master illusionist Derren Brown has used his psychological tricks to win the 140th Golf Open Championship in Sandwich's Royal St George course. Despite never playing a stroke, he was declared the winner as being seven under par for the course, beatin...
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Funny story: Pixie Lott In Tiny Hotpants Ousts Rebekah Brooks Arrest Off The Front Pages

Pixie Lott In Tiny Hotpants Ousts Rebekah Brooks Arrest Off The Front Pages

So, if the rumours are to be believed, the police have finally arrested Rebekah Brooks in connection with the News Of The World phone hacking scandal, which could signal that Rupert Murdoch's vast media empire is about to collapse around him like the...
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Funny story: Bowie, Springsteen And Co Hunted By Publishers

Bowie, Springsteen And Co Hunted By Publishers

The race is on to sign the "big five" rock stars who have yet to pen memoirs. Following the success of autobiographies by Rolling Stone Keith Richards and top-hatted, corkscrew-haired axeman Slash, publishers are keen to snap up more big names.
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Funny story: Old Testament cemetery discovered on the dark side of the Moon

Old Testament cemetery discovered on the dark side of the Moon

Groom Lake, Nevada - There are unconfirmed reports this weekend that the Apollo space program was part of a 'massive cover-up' of Biblical prophets' graves discovered on the Moon's Sea of Tranquillity. Secret archive film footage from NASA's Roswe...
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Funny story: Proctologist exam rooms across globe hacked by Murdoch tabloid!

Proctologist exam rooms across globe hacked by Murdoch tabloid!

As news of the hacking of proctologist's offices across the globe hit the airwaves late last night, even hard boiled newsmen were shocked and disgusted. "This trash media has just gone to far" said a spokesman for the National Enquirer. "Our society...
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Funny story: Pie Charts toppled from the best of the the best graphs chart

Pie Charts toppled from the best of the the best graphs chart

In a comparison of forty different kinds of graphs, the pie chart has been declared the most popular with ordinary people who don't understand graphs. "There is something visually appealing about a pie chart," said Hillman Impclub, chief statologi...
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Funny story: Giant Marijuana Farm The Size Of Kansas Found In Kansas

Giant Marijuana Farm The Size Of Kansas Found In Kansas

Ganja, KS-- An enormous marijuana farm covering the entire state of Kansas has been located by the DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency). Over 100 trillion marijuana plants were spotted using infra-red satellites and a fleet of DEA helicopters. The farm co...
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Funny story: Collapse of News International will be catastrophic, claims designer

Collapse of News International will be catastrophic, claims designer

INTERIOR Design guru Linda Barker has called on David Cameron to cease investigations into the activities of the Murdoch dynasty stating that a complete closure of all of it's publications would lead to a major shortfall in floor-coverings in Keighle...
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Funny story: Curry Restaurants to Stop Serving Meals at 11pm!

Curry Restaurants to Stop Serving Meals at 11pm!

If next month's trial period - when all Indian, Bangladeshi, and other Asian style restaurants in and around selected towns along Britain's coast will have to stop serving food after 11pm - returns positive feedback from police and residents of those...
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Funny story: Man arrested in Italy after pissing up the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

Man arrested in Italy after pissing up the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

Pisa, Italy: A man stumbled out of a local ristoranti in Pisa yesterday, totally loaded with Chianti and pizza. He made a bee-line for the tower and felt nature call and could not resist pissing up the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The local Carabinieri...
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Funny story: News of the World's New multi part factual programme to be shown on BBC1, Fox News, and all other channels

News of the World's New multi part factual programme to be shown on BBC1, Fox News, and all other channels

A new fact based programme about the News of the World is to be shown across most channels for the foreseeable future said a Television Spokesperson. 'It is our belief' said Peter Twinkletoes 'that Rupert Murdoch will be showing these documentarie...
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Funny story: Sloths call for name change

Sloths call for name change

Lazy Harry, a Sloth in London Zoo has called for his species to undergo a name change. Speaking to us at a very slow speed the formerly white, but now algae tinted mammal told us: 'I think it is very bad for our self esteem to be called by one of...
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Funny story: Meryl Streep to be played by former Neighbour's star

Meryl Streep to be played by former Neighbour's star

A former Actress from Neighbours and Home and Away that was not Kylie Minogue, Natalie Imbruglia, Russell Crowe, Guy Pierce, or the bloke from House or any one who was not wasting their time on the show is all set to play award winning actress Meryl...
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Funny story: "Looney" Man Utd fan watches Liverpool training in a Utd shirt and Rooney twittters, "he's a legend!"

"Looney" Man Utd fan watches Liverpool training in a Utd shirt and Rooney twittters, "he's a legend!"

A slightly distorted and rather "Looney" Rooney fan actually had the balls to turn up at Liverpool's training ground wearing a Man Utd shirt and guess who's name was written on his back? Rooney! The Man Utd fan had just spent 6 weeks locked up in...
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Funny story: Harry Potter 8 Story line revealed

Harry Potter 8 Story line revealed

'Oh' said Harry, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 'I had the most weird dream last night. I dreamt that the world knew who I was, and what I was doing.' 'That's alright, Harry' said Davina. 'We have been watching you carefully.' 'Oh' replied Harry. 'Who are you?' 'I am Davina McCall. Please do not swear. We have locked you in the Big Brother house for 10 years, under the influence of he w...
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Funny story: Jeremy's New Ironing Business

Jeremy's New Ironing Business

Jeremy Iron's, the thinking woman's older Alan Rickman has set up a new business. 'Jeremy Irons' will see the award winning actor plugging in an iron, and tackling shirts, wrinkles and folds with the same vigour in which he attacks the roles that...
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Funny story: Incredible Hulk Realises People prefer him when he is angry

Incredible Hulk Realises People prefer him when he is angry

David Banner, the Incredible Hulk, has spent his life warning people that they would not like him when he is angry. Now, however, he realises that he has been wasting his life with this ridiculous lie. 'I realised it quite recently' said the mild...
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Funny story: DJs to have a Minute's Silence

DJs to have a Minute's Silence

DJ's across the country are set to have a Minute's Silence for the News of the World on Sunday. Drive Time Dave from Radio Kipper said: 'Me and my DJ mates will really miss the News of the World. All of that hate and bile spilling out made our day...
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Funny story: Essex euthanasia clinic investigated

Essex euthanasia clinic investigated

The sleepy Essex village of Landfill Tawny was thrown into the media spotlight today surrounding allegations of serious wrong doings at the Moonfruit Euthanasia Clinic. Landfill Tawny, a small village usually only mentioned in tourist guides is no...
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Funny story: The Effect of this Abuse of Simon Cowell Literally Cannot be Quantified

The Effect of this Abuse of Simon Cowell Literally Cannot be Quantified

In the face of mounting public dislike, Simon Cowell has spoken candidly about the amount of distress he suffers on a day to day basis. "I'm a multi millionaire", Cowell remarked, "Everyone does what I says, the money keeps coming in. I live in a...
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Funny story: Murdoch Permanently Shuts Down Fox News

Murdoch Permanently Shuts Down Fox News

Citing the recent and growing scandals throughout his worldwide media empire, multi-billionaire Rupert Murdoch announced he was permanently shutting down FOX News effective Monday, July 18th. The somewhat shocking news comes on the heels of Murd...
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Funny story: US Presidential Candidate, Freddy the Frog Slapped with a Class Action Paternity Suit: His Lead in the Polls Increase

US Presidential Candidate, Freddy the Frog Slapped with a Class Action Paternity Suit: His Lead in the Polls Increase

What started out being a bad day for US Presidential Candidate, Freddy the Frog, ended up being a good day with him actually increasing his lead in the polls over his rivals. The day started when it was revealed that Mr. Frog had been slapped with...
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Funny story: I Don't Feel it's Time for Me to Stop Travelling, You Know?

I Don't Feel it's Time for Me to Stop Travelling, You Know?

Hey there! I was sitting around the other day, at my parents, rolling a fat one, and I just thought to myself - "I'm not just not ready to stop travelling yet, I think I'll head off to Asia or the Pacific or something." I was comparing the life I had last year, when I was backpacking around Egypt to the one I have now, you know, trying to find a job, get a bond together to move out of my par...
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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth II Accepts Invite to U.S. Marine Corps Ball

Queen Elizabeth II Accepts Invite to U.S. Marine Corps Ball

First it was Mila Kunis, then Justin Timberlake, each accepting a Marine's invitation to the Marine Corps Ball to be held in November in Greenville, North Carolina. Now it's been revealed that there's at least one other famous invitee who has acc...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell Says He Can Hardly Wait For 'X-Factor' To Premier Because He Has Missed Acting Like An Arrogant, Sarcastic SOB!

Simon Cowell Says He Can Hardly Wait For 'X-Factor' To Premier Because He Has Missed Acting Like An Arrogant, Sarcastic SOB!

HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell says that most people do not know it but he is really two different people. The first one is the dark T-shirt wearing pompously snobbish hateful Sultan of Sarcasm that he was when he was the judge on American Idol. The...
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Funny story: The Evolution of Duct Tape

The Evolution of Duct Tape

Like most modern day inventions, we have to give credit to the US military for Duct Tape. It is said that Army personnel in 1942 created it in order to keep water from leaking in ammunition cases. Before that, soldiers would use medical tape. While medical tape was great for adhering bandages to skin, it was not great for patching up things blasted by bombs. Gli Acquedotti Romani: Come Son...
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Funny story: LeBron James Leaves Heat to Play for Local Little League Team

LeBron James Leaves Heat to Play for Local Little League Team

The NBA has just received news that LeBron James, from the Miami Heat, has already left the NBA and is now playing for a local basketball league that was formally reserved for 12 year olds. The event actually occurred on July 1st at the onset of t...
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Funny story: Miserable (Not to be confused with Stephen King's 'Misery')

Miserable (Not to be confused with Stephen King's 'Misery')

It's hard being a writer. Don't let anybody tell you any different. Contrary to popular belief, most writers would prefer to sit facing a blank wall, rather than overlook a paradise beach in the Caribbean. There are no distractions when you sit facing a blank wall, so in theory, the writing comes easier. I didn't introduce myself, did I? My name is Mike Shuttlecock, and I'm a novelist.
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Funny story: Pulled Over for Drunk Driving? You May Have To Drive Yourself to the Police Station!

Pulled Over for Drunk Driving? You May Have To Drive Yourself to the Police Station!

The government is to consider changing the drink driving laws in Britain. For a trial period in and around London from next month traffic police officers will no longer have to accompany drivers to police stations after they've been pulled over when...
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