Funny story: Brad Pitt to star in Bugger Bognor zombie film

Brad Pitt to star in Bugger Bognor zombie film

Brad Pitt has been on location in Bognor Regis preparing to shoot scenes for his latest zombie film Bugger Bognor. The post-apocalyptic horror movie is based on the true story of retired deckchair attendant Ted Snivel who fought off flesh eating...
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Funny story: Superhero study: very revealing

Superhero study: very revealing

In the largest study of its kind, indeed, the only study of its kind ever carried out, the Marvellous Applied Comic Knowledge course at Milton Keynes university has discovered a remarkable correlation between superheroes. The better their super po...
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Funny story: Saudi whistleblower exposes underground oil production factories

Saudi whistleblower exposes underground oil production factories

(Riyadh, Saudi Arabia) I was granted an exclusive interview with a retired Saudi oil baron who wishes to remain anonymous exposing secret underground factories converting rubbish into crude oil. According to the baron, these conversion factories w...
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Funny story: Another 2 trillion is added to the existing $12 trillion National Debt - It's the start of the end of the United States of America's economy

Another 2 trillion is added to the existing $12 trillion National Debt - It's the start of the end of the United States of America's economy

Federal Reserve Bank, Printing Press Division: A trillion dollar here and trillion dollar there. The US is "running out of time" to reach a deal on raising the country's debt ceiling to avert a possible early August default. It took the United S...
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Funny story: Tight Scottish couple win Euromillions and promise not to spend a penny!

Tight Scottish couple win Euromillions and promise not to spend a penny!

A very tight Scottish couple have won 161 million GBP on the Euromillions lottery and have promised not to alter their lifestyle. They are devoted scrooges and winning the millions will not change a thing. Scottish people are renowned for their ti...
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Funny story: The Former Mrs. Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren Seen Sensuously Snuggling Up A Storm With A Swedish Billionaire

The Former Mrs. Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren Seen Sensuously Snuggling Up A Storm With A Swedish Billionaire

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Elin Nordegren has long since forgotten about old Tiger what's-his-name. She has not heard the words Cadillac Escalade, GolfGate, or WeenieBoy mentioned in a long time. Since leaving the man who became known throughout the nati...
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Funny story: Man arrested in Germany, he was caught laughing in public!

Man arrested in Germany, he was caught laughing in public!

Bitburg, Germany: A man walking in a Bitburg shopping precinct was arrested yesterday, ha was caught laughing in public an offence which is punishable in Germany. It seems the man left a pub stinking heavily of Bitburg beer (very tasty brew by the...
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Funny story: Rupert Murdoch hacks his own phone to find out what he is thinking

Rupert Murdoch hacks his own phone to find out what he is thinking

New York - Under fire from a phone hacking scandal that threatens to destroy his communications empire, media mogul Rupert Murdoch today admitted that he routinely hacks his own phone daily "just to keep up with what's going on." "Once you turn 80...
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Funny story: Billy Bragg agrees to have vocal chords removed

Billy Bragg agrees to have vocal chords removed

The "singer" and lefty songwriter Billy Bragg, who has repelled audiences for decades with his grating voice, has agreed to have his vocal chords removed after accidentally hearing one of his own records. He claims to have never heard his own voic...
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Funny story: Ministry of Intelligence finally reveals what happened to MI1, MI2, MI3 and MI4

Ministry of Intelligence finally reveals what happened to MI1, MI2, MI3 and MI4

Harry Shepherd (an alias), the minister for intelligence - an incredibly secret post within the government - has emerged from the shadows under intense scrutiny to reveal why MI5 and MI6 are not called MI1 and MI2. "You see," said Shepherd (not hi...
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Funny story: Grossly obese Scots couple scoop £161m Eurosquillions rollover

Grossly obese Scots couple scoop £161m Eurosquillions rollover

Glasgow - A pair of middle-aged chinless blobs from Lard - er...Largs! - in Ayrshire won the record breaking jackpot after a seven week-long rollover. Chris and Colin Weird (sic) said today they would be investing some of the dosh in gastric band...
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Funny story: Gold Falls, Breaks Fifth Metatarsal

Gold Falls, Breaks Fifth Metatarsal

Amid reports of the strengthening U.S. Dollar, and reports of financial market adjustments proposed by Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke, the price of golf fell significantly in open trading today, forcing at least one man to be rushed to hospit...
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Funny story: Mosquito Dies After Failing To Bite Man

Mosquito Dies After Failing To Bite Man

Reports are emerging from the Thai capital of Bangkok that a mosquito has died after unsuccessfully trying for hours to bite a man, after which it collapsed and subsequently expired through sheer exhaustion. Moys Kenwood, an English 'teacher', had...
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Funny story: Clorox Claims Icahn's Offer and Shirt Aren't Clean Enough

Clorox Claims Icahn's Offer and Shirt Aren't Clean Enough

Rejecting the $12.6 Billion offer from investment guru, Carl Icahn, Clorox Company representatives claim that Icahn's offer could have been better, if it had been prepared properly in advance of the media wash and spin cycle. Commenting on the ter...
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Funny story: San Francisco Offers Sanctuary, Sex Change, & Security to Hounded Diva Casey Anthony!

San Francisco Offers Sanctuary, Sex Change, & Security to Hounded Diva Casey Anthony!

Girl on the run Casey Anthony, who skated from her murder conviction involving her two year old daughter due to a prosecutorial miscalculation over evidence, is now considering all her options for a new life. Public outrage over her acquittal has...
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Funny story: Charlie Gilmour jailed for 16 months for being son of Dave Gilmour

Charlie Gilmour jailed for 16 months for being son of Dave Gilmour

Charlie Gilmour, who, along with others, was arrested for rioting during the protests over student fees in December 2010, has been sentenced to 16 months in prison. This is for the more serious crime of being related to Dave Gilmour, guitarist with...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks resigns as boss of human scum filth abattoir

Rebekah Brooks resigns as boss of human scum filth abattoir

After days of mounting pressure, Rebekah Brooks has resigned as chief executive of the venal, pus-filled, cancerous appendage for which she had been responsible. Sounding tearful and full of remorse, she said at a press conference 'I have enjoyed...
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Funny story: James Murdoch a dead ringer for 'Allo, 'Allo! Gestapo officer Herr Otto Flick

James Murdoch a dead ringer for 'Allo, 'Allo! Gestapo officer Herr Otto Flick

London - A new career beckons for the troubled NewsCorpse chief as a casting company recruiting for a remake of the iconic TV comedy asked James Murdoch to audition today. A remarkable facial likeness to the original 1982 character Herr Otto Flick...
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Funny story: Blue people demand to be treated as equals

Blue people demand to be treated as equals

Blues United For Freedom (BUFF) have approached the British government and demanded that they no longer be treated as second class citizens in the UK. "We're people too!" exclaimed BUFF's spokesperson, Papa Smurf. "We are fed up of being excluded...
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Funny story: The Tricks of Tabloid Journalism Revealed

The Tricks of Tabloid Journalism Revealed

Former News of the World journalist Baryl Scrape reveals the secrets of being a top tabloid news reporter. Until the paper was closed recently, I was a top journalist at the News of the World. To make it as a top news reporter you have to be able to break the stories that no-one else is even aware of, its all about being the first on the scene, otherwise you're just playing catch-up with yeste...
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Funny story: Alabama Smith and the Temple of Doom

Alabama Smith and the Temple of Doom

After watching an episode of the Life of Mohammed shown on BBC2 this week, an archaeologist from Barnsley, known as Alabama Smith (not to be confused with Indiana Jones) saw something which sent shivers down his spine. He had seen something which was...
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Funny story: Government of the people, by the people, for the people, does not exist in the UK.

Government of the people, by the people, for the people, does not exist in the UK.

Houses of Parliament, Westminister, London: According to what we have all been taught in textbooks at school and university, the British constitution worked along these lines. Britain was a representative democracy; the police were reasonably hones...
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Funny story: Then and Now - 1959 vs 2011

Then and Now - 1959 vs 2011

One of the old farts who contribute their pathetic rubbish to our magazine, (we've tried to discourage him) has sent in yet another of his 'Odes' - this time about the downhill differences he finds himself suffering from 1959 to 2011. Being as we rejected to git's previous three pieces of crap, we thought we'd better include this one, as it is not as bad as his usual offerings. The place I now...
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Funny story: Rick Stein: Give The Fish A Rest!

Rick Stein: Give The Fish A Rest!

A top TV critic has lashed out at celebrity chef Rick Stein's latest TV show. Rick Stein's Spain launched on BBC2 yesterday and promised to investigate the little-known cuisine of the country's regions over four episodes. Viewers were treated t...
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Funny story: Ron Paul Sex Doll On Sale Next Week

Ron Paul Sex Doll On Sale Next Week

LOS ANGELES: Republican presidential hopeful Ron Paul, is gearing up for a State-wide tour of California to promote a new life-sized blow-up doll of himself. The 74 year-old Paul is hoping the doll will appeal to liberals in the Democratic party,...
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Funny story: Texas Governor Rick "The Stick" Perry Says If Harold Camping Dares To Set Foot In Texas He'll Have His Lying Butt Arrested Faster Than He Can Say "Huh?"

Texas Governor Rick "The Stick" Perry Says If Harold Camping Dares To Set Foot In Texas He'll Have His Lying Butt Arrested Faster Than He Can Say "Huh?"

AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry and his lovely wife Anita were enjoying a nice meal of fajita tacos at a local Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos in Austin when he was asked about radio talk show personality Harold Camping. Buck Yazoo, a reporter wit...
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Funny story: The TSA Says That Their Pat Downs Are Going To Get Even More Intimate After They Find A Grenade Launcher On A Flight Bound For Arizona

The TSA Says That Their Pat Downs Are Going To Get Even More Intimate After They Find A Grenade Launcher On A Flight Bound For Arizona

LOS ANGELES - Transportation Security Administration Spokesperson Clovis Baxter Shamnoodle met with the members of the media at LAX Airport. He informed them that due to the fact that a co-pilot aboard a recent Trans Air Arizona flight found a gre...
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Funny story: Casey Anthony to Live as Suburban Housewife

Casey Anthony to Live as Suburban Housewife

In order to escape the limelight, Casey Anthony will eventually be relocated to a far distant part of the country and guarded around the clock by pit bulls dressed up as mutts. Unimpeachable sources say she will live in a disguise under a fake na...
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Funny story: Hacker Confession Latest - "We All Wear Pork Pie Hats"

Hacker Confession Latest - "We All Wear Pork Pie Hats"

In the wake of the News Of The World phone hacking scandal, and numerous computer hacker attacks on various secure websites and databases, one question which puzzled investigators, was: How do you recognise a hacker? And by logical extension: How...
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Funny story: The Weiner Diaries

The Weiner Diaries

After Representative Anthony Weiner resigned from Congress a cleaning crew was sent to his office to prepare it for another occupant. One of the cleaners found Mr. Weiner's diaries from 1998 to present. The following are excerpts from the Congressman's diaries: June 11, 1998 - Decided to run for Congress, must find way to relate to the younger voters! January 3, 1999 - First day in Congres...
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