Funny story: Old Boomer Hit Parade: Aged Man

Old Boomer Hit Parade: Aged Man

Back by popular demand, here is yet another great oldie to add to your collection. While most of us know the tune to the Kinks' "Apeman" song, I am linking it here to help you fit my words to the melody, with a slight variation. Kinks' "Apeman" Aged Man (Sung to the Kinks' "Apeman" I know I am growing older cause my hair is getting gray like an octogenarian. But I'm hanging onto...
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Funny story: Rowling's Last Interview

Rowling's Last Interview

On the crest of a wave after her apparent victory over the Willy the Wizard team in New York when Judge Shira Scheindlin threw out their case against US publishers Scholastic J.K.Rowling gave a rare impromptu interview to a lone reporter at her Edinburgh mansion. She had assumed wrongly that Hanzoff Miwerk co-editor of one of Holland's leading intellectual mazazines had flown in to ask her quest...
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Funny story: Somali Islamists ban men from shaking hands with women after sex

Somali Islamists ban men from shaking hands with women after sex

That's it - another official edict issued by Islamist fatwa-ists. There is no fun in fundamentalism. Militants in war-torn southern Somalia have issued another ridiculous so-called religious edict. This one bans men from shaking hands with women...
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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth - Slave Driver - Gordon Ramsay comments

Queen Elizabeth - Slave Driver - Gordon Ramsay comments

Queen Elizabeth is - it appears - a Royal slave driver. Apparently she will NOT be giving staff at the 'Palaces' the day off on William and Kate's Wedding Day. Naturally, they are all pretty upset, which is putting in mildly. No wonder she is hav...
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Funny story: The Palin Gravy Train May be Grinding to a Halt

The Palin Gravy Train May be Grinding to a Halt

Not even 24 hours after the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords and her supporters at a Saturday event, The Learning Channel (TLC) announced that the show Sarah Palin's Alaska would not be renewed for another year. Although it seems the decision not to...
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Funny story: Shylock Humes and the case of the missing cod

Shylock Humes and the case of the missing cod

Shylock arrived at the house in Gibbon road Hackney. He hit the unpolished lions head knocker which hit him back with the words, "easy guvnor". Recovering his composure, which he had dropped, Shylock, again, knocked on the door. Waiting no more than a few seconds, the door was opened, and before him stood Mrs Edna Spanky, the ninety year old Soho stripper. "Yerssss, kin eye elp yoos"? "...
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Funny story: Celebrating last birthday as commoner Kate Middleton confesses she's a big fan of The Spoof.com spoofers

Celebrating last birthday as commoner Kate Middleton confesses she's a big fan of The Spoof.com spoofers

Loved by the bourgeoisie; hated by the proletariat; despised by self-righteous class abjurers - she who will be Queen of England celebrates her last birthday on Sunday, as a commoner before she officially becomes British royalty. It is understood...
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Funny story: Misplaced Magnetic North Murdered Migrating Masses

Misplaced Magnetic North Murdered Migrating Masses

Meteorologists and Air Traffic Controllers (ATC) in Tampa, Miami, USA believe that they may have solved the mystery of the untimely demise of flocks of birds. Flight crew on board several aircraft preparing to land on runway 36 at Tampa Airport ha...
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Funny story: Sky High

Sky High

Andy Coulson, David Cameron's Communications Director and former editor of the 'News of the World' was unable to comment on fresh allegations concerning journalists at the NoW who allegedly gained illegal access into the phones of a number of celebri...
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Funny story: Victoria's secret: Posh 'n' Becks expecting twins in July

Victoria's secret: Posh 'n' Becks expecting twins in July

London - (Reuterus): And yes, it's twin girls - just as the IVF doctor ordered - sisters for Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz. Today's announcement follows months of speculation that industrial strength sticking plaster is holding together the Beckhams' m...
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Funny story: Liverpool Boss Kenny Dalglish To Partner Fernando Torres For Rest Of Season, Whilst He Rebuilds 1980s Side

Liverpool Boss Kenny Dalglish To Partner Fernando Torres For Rest Of Season, Whilst He Rebuilds 1980s Side

In sensational fake news fresh from Anfield, new Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish has announced that he, himself, will partner the Reds' striker Fernando Torres for the rest of the season, whilst trying to recreate the dominant side of the 1980s. Dal...
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Funny story: "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" To Be Read on Floor of US Congress!

"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" To Be Read on Floor of US Congress!

The GOP Congressional Caucus announced today that due to the overwhelming approval by the public of the reading of the Constitution on the first day of Congress, they will read a book every day for the rest of 2011. Speaker of the House, John Boe...
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Funny story: Liverpool Boss Kenny Dalglish Oldest Manager In Premier League After 40 Years Added Onto His Age During Man Utd Defeat

Liverpool Boss Kenny Dalglish Oldest Manager In Premier League After 40 Years Added Onto His Age During Man Utd Defeat

Kenny Dalglish, the Liverpool manager newly-installed after the sad departure from Merseyside of his predecessor Roy Hodgson, is now officially the oldest manager in the Premier League, claims a report from his good lady wife, Marina. Dalglish, wh...
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Funny story: Green Hornet Movie Uses Vuvuzelas for Soundtrack

Green Hornet Movie Uses Vuvuzelas for Soundtrack

The producers and directors of the new Green Hornet movie, out later this week, have admitted that they used the soundtrack of thousands of vuvuzelas during the world games in South Africa in the new movie. "We had to do something because Seth Rog...
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Funny story: Oldham East & Saddleworth By-election Today

Oldham East & Saddleworth By-election Today

The pollsters have Labour running away with it in the Oldham East & Saddleworth by-election today. "The same, but completely different." - That's the electoral paradox that emerges from a couple of opinion polls on the Oldham East & Saddleworth by-election this morning. The Election at Oldham East & Saddleworth by-election today same, because both the Lord Ashcroft survey for the A...
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Funny story: Bird Droppings

Bird Droppings

Birds have been dropping out of the American skies and crashing deader than the genitalia of a 101 year-old Jesuit. Speculation is rife as to the reason. Why? The possibilities: They discovered that * Congress is back in session again. * Rascal Flatts are neither flat, nor rascals. They're kinda roly-poly and ugly. * Nancy Pelosi will be Miss July in the 2012 Congressional Cale...
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Funny story: Google Announces Plan to Index World Data

Google Announces Plan to Index World Data

PALO ALTO, CA - Google, holder of all data on the internet, will start indexing all data the Earth has to offer. "First we did websites," said CEO Larry Page, "then we made phones. Now, we'll collect data on everything about the Earth. Here's a ne...
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Funny story: Is Jo Yeates killer a woman?

Is Jo Yeates killer a woman?

Bristol - (Whodunnit): A 'crazed female nutter' may be the culprit as murder squad detectives dismissed calls today for mass DNA screening of Bristol males. Joanna Yeates' death circumstances are being compared to the 1974 unsolved murder of 20 ye...
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Funny story: Wrong Words For The Right Now Time: The Not Nice Ones May Disappear, But The Melody Lingers Wrong

Wrong Words For The Right Now Time: The Not Nice Ones May Disappear, But The Melody Lingers Wrong

NEWARK, NJ - Emboldened by the recently successful attempts of various politically correct watchdog groups to, at long last, finally have the dreaded "N" word removed from Mark Twain's landmark 19th Century All-American literary classic, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, numerous other "What about us?" players in the growing field of diversified perennial chip on their shoulder ethnic and/or so...
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Funny story: Prepaid Cab

Prepaid Cab

The governor of Punjab Province, Pakistan, Salman Taseer, was shot nine times on Jan. 4, 2011 in Pakistan by one of his guards. He had spoken out against the country's controversial blasphemy laws, under which a Christian woman is being sentenced to death for allegedly insulting the prophet if Islam. However, for many centuries, societies in Asia, Asia Minor, Middle East, Africa etc have exper...
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Funny story: Roy Hodgson "resigns" to the fact that Liverpool F.C. are crap!

Roy Hodgson "resigns" to the fact that Liverpool F.C. are crap!

Ex-Liverpool manager Roy Hodgson has "resigned" to the fact that Liverpool F.C. are crap and walked away in a mutual agreement. After a half a season and attempts to undo all the wrongs that predecessor, Benitez, had done; including buying over-pa...
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Funny story: The Spoof Taken Over by News Corporation

The Spoof Taken Over by News Corporation

LONDON - In a landmark decision today, News Corp, owner of The Times, The Sun and FOX News has bought out Britain-based satire site TheSpoof.com. As part of the deal, all current Spoof writers will be paid wages - i.e. £500 ($777) per story posted...
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Funny story: Flu Super Epidemic Leads to Everybody Dead

Flu Super Epidemic Leads to Everybody Dead

BIRMINGHAM - The nation has succumbed to the deadly influenza, as predicted by the media. Orthomyxoviridae B has wiped out nearly 100% of the UK population, with this reporter possibly the only one left in Birmingham. However, he too, is suffering...
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Funny story: "Shoot an M16, help remove Gabrielle Giffords from office": Spokesman for campaign rival sees "no connection" to Saturday's shooting

"Shoot an M16, help remove Gabrielle Giffords from office": Spokesman for campaign rival sees "no connection" to Saturday's shooting

Tucson, AZ - In the wake of the shooting of Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords, in which six people were killed and 13 others were injured, a spokesman for Giffords' Republican opponent dismissed claims that the 2010 campaign's heated rhetoric...
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Funny story: Cameron Declared nearly bankrupt!

Cameron Declared nearly bankrupt!

After gaining access to the Bank of England computer, the UBS cantonal Swiss Bank, BP shares records, the Haliburton executive details and Weapon Sales Bonus figures, the Stock Market Returns for 2010, the Bank of Scotland, several offshore account d...
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Funny story: UK Forecast In Prose for 2011

UK Forecast In Prose for 2011

What to expect for 2011.... It's not nice! Rich will get richer, the poor will become desperately poor, The prospering ones will be the Etonites, and the epicure, Politicians, Bankers, Investors, and MPs that's for sure, Haliburton with good sales of guns, missiles and armour, Prospects for the unemployed if any, will be very miniature, Workers will be like Oliver, not permitte...
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Funny story: The Truth Behind John "Weeper of The House" Boehner's Constant Crying

The Truth Behind John "Weeper of The House" Boehner's Constant Crying

CINCINNATI, Ohio - A man who went to high school with Speaker of the House John Boehner has told a reporter for The Cincinnati Afternoon Informant newspaper that he knows exactly why it is that Boehner is almost constantly crying when he is on televi...
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Funny story: Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins Seen French Kissing In L.A.'s Trendy Cafe La French Fry

Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins Seen French Kissing In L.A.'s Trendy Cafe La French Fry

WEST HOLLYWOOD - According to unnamed sources the co-stars of the film Abduction, Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins were spotted at the famed Cafe La French Fry where the couple was French kissing between taking bites of their order of Deluxe French Fr...
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Funny story: Tea Party Members Willing to Fund Witchcraft Over Education

Tea Party Members Willing to Fund Witchcraft Over Education

Salem - Tea Party Members working on their national planks for the 2012 Presidential Election have decided to declare their fear of the current education system early; they want it replaced with witchcraft. "We prefer Witchcraft over public educat...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Adopts 'Pretty Boy' Moniker as Gangsta Name

Justin Bieber Adopts 'Pretty Boy' Moniker as Gangsta Name

Now that Justin Bieber has a new haircut and looks 100% better according to just about everyone we asked, he has decided to name himself "Pretty Boy" after the infamous gangster Charles Arthur "Pretty Boy" Floyd. "I'm looking pretty good these day...
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Funny story: US Fatties Declare War

US Fatties Declare War

Chubby Butterworth head of the "Fat is Beautiful Society" of California has issued a statement on behalf of his half-million members. The society has been campaigning for years to end discrimination in America against fat and obese people. Chubby, who is not keeping well, issued the following statement from his hospital bed - wards two, three and four: "We, the calorie challenged people...
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Funny story: Man Staring Right At You, Wierdly

Man Staring Right At You, Wierdly

YOUR HOMETOWN - As you are sitting at an outside cafe near your place of work/education drinking hot chocolate and eating a muffin, you notice a man looking at you in disbelief. A source close to you, your conscience, says that this man is pretty...
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Funny story: Canada Declares War on the United States

Canada Declares War on the United States

Ottawa Canada: Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced today that Canada has declared war on the United States. A full page ad was also placed in the New York Times. This startling declaration of war only applies to the states of Texas, Arizona, New...
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Funny story: Brit who mocked wife who cried (because her goat died) forced to eat crow

Brit who mocked wife who cried (because her goat died) forced to eat crow

That's what happens when you are a somewhat aristo in jolly olde. You get to write a weekly column on absolutely nothing. So it was no surprise when a dreadfully boring columnist for an equally boring publication wrote a dreadfully boring piece on...
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Funny story: Man Charged With Hate Speech Crime for Calling Female Dog "A Dumb Bitch"

Man Charged With Hate Speech Crime for Calling Female Dog "A Dumb Bitch"

A San Francisco, California man was arrested and charged with a hate crime when he called a neighbors female dog "a dumb bitch". Apparently, 43 year old Jerry Dunston, was passing by the neighbor's fenced yard and saw the female dog named Hillary, w...
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