Funny story: Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony

Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony

Barney & Friends and Wizards of Waverley Place star Selena Gomez is a self-confessed "huge animal lover", writes Dick Palmer-Humbert, Desperation Correspondent. So it is perhaps ironic that she is very close, if not actually intimate, with "Ca...
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Funny story: Was Vincent Tabak spying for the Russians? Tanja Morson denies all knowledge!

Was Vincent Tabak spying for the Russians? Tanja Morson denies all knowledge!

Bristol - (Hexed-Files): The American financial analyst is still in a state of shock following widespread news coverage of her boyfriend's arrest. Friends of Morson's at work said today that Tabak, a highly qualified architectural engineer, 'may...
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Funny story: H&R Block Escapees Hold "Got The F--k Out Of Dodge In Time" Reunion In Kansas City.

H&R Block Escapees Hold "Got The F--k Out Of Dodge In Time" Reunion In Kansas City.

For Thomas Bloch, the son of the co-founder of once-ethical tax preparation juggernaut H&R Block, Henry, leaving the company that kinda has his family's name.* "My father Henry Bloch, who will turn 178 this month, has witnessed the company suf...
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Funny story: Baby Bombshell: Queen Latifah And Her Girlfriend Have Decided To Have A Baby

Baby Bombshell: Queen Latifah And Her Girlfriend Have Decided To Have A Baby

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Summersetter Faxx has disclosed that she heard from a very close friend of 40-year-old Queen Latifah that the 6 foot tall actress and her good-looking longtime girlfriend Jeanette "Booty Cutey" Jenkins ar...
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Funny story: McDonalds to absorb Viacom

McDonalds to absorb Viacom

OAK BROOK, IL. - In a shocking announcement, McDonald's was pleased today to announce that it had acquired Viacom for $62.99 and as a result, Viacom will be absorbed into McDonald's. In addition to this, Viacom International announced that as of Janu...
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Funny story: H&R Block Loses Exclusive Contract With Wal*Mart To Jackson Hewitt: "Hey, we still have Sears. There's still some of them open, right?"

H&R Block Loses Exclusive Contract With Wal*Mart To Jackson Hewitt: "Hey, we still have Sears. There's still some of them open, right?"

H&R Block, the tax preparation company who has taken it in the proverbial rear this tax season --after losing refund anticipation loans, their sole source of income-- they now find out that Jackson Hewitt will be the exclusive provider of tax ser...
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Funny story: London Mayor Boris Johnson on the Warpath over Airports

London Mayor Boris Johnson on the Warpath over Airports

Boris Johnson, Mayor of London has set out on a 'collision course' with the Government. Boris has to face the electorate long before the Government and he wants expansion of airport capacity for London and the south east to be in his programme. Th...
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Funny story: HP drops Dell, picks up Dellbert's

HP drops Dell, picks up Dellbert's

PALO ALTO, CA. - In a surprise change of strategy, Hewlett-Packard dropped its contract to supply printers to Dell in order to partner with rival Dellbert's Computer Store of Hooteewayfield, Alabama. While the demand for new printers for Dellbert com...
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Funny story: Alexander Meerkat Signs For Chelsea FC

Alexander Meerkat Signs For Chelsea FC

In transfer news Chelsea have rocked the football world and signed Alexander Meerkat for an undisclosed fee. Alexander, 4, from somewhere quite cold, is probably best known for the hilarious adverts where loads of his friends appear and make funny no...
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Funny story: Megan Fox is Japanese Doll

Megan Fox is Japanese Doll

Talk about putting one over on the public and great advertising, the Japanese company "Itzu-tse" has created a masterstroke by faking out millions of people with a Megan Fox robot doll. No, there really IS a Megan Fox who plays that sexy lady in T...
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Funny story: Prince Charles In Rotten Veg Row

Prince Charles In Rotten Veg Row

Prince Charles has lost his royal appointment as supplier of fruit and veg to top supermarket Tesbury's. The family grocers have sacked the next in line to the British throne for his below par produce. The trouble began when a Scunthorpe pensio...
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Funny story: Jonathan Ross nominated, wins poll

Jonathan Ross nominated, wins poll

Following his appearance as host on this year's British Comedy Awards comedian and broadcaster Jonathan Ross is top of a new TV viewers poll. In Saturday night's programme the unshaven celebrity appeared to have gained yet more weight, while sport...
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Funny story: Gay Man Examines local Schoolboy's Tool

Gay Man Examines local Schoolboy's Tool

A gay man got a close up look at a young lad's tool while visiting the local school during an open day promoting evening courses for adults. Larry Sabu, 20, straddled a workbench as he prised open a young teenage boy's monkey-wrench and examined i...
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Funny story: Sexist Sky Sports Star's Suicide Story

Sexist Sky Sports Star's Suicide Story

In a triumph of alliteration, the two Sky sports presenters at the centre of the female official row have been placed on suicide watch. Richard (I've lost my) Keys and Andy (Shades of) Gray have been hauled over the coals for insinuating that fema...
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Funny story: Russia to hang up Iron Curtain again after Moscow airport attacks!

Russia to hang up Iron Curtain again after Moscow airport attacks!

Russia is paying an expensive price after the devolution of its ruthless "Iron Curtain" empire. After being forced into giving independence to most of its satellite states and leaving them in the lurch, many terrorist groups in such countries are...
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Funny story: Baroness Warsi reveals new party: the 'Toryban'

Baroness Warsi reveals new party: the 'Toryban'

Last week in a lecture given by Baroness Warsi, the Conservative party chair and Minister "without portfolio" has said that the Muslims are not taken seriously and are often the butt of after-dinner jokes. Of course, these are only assumptions becaus...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart Extremely Upset!

Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart Extremely Upset!

What would upset Robert Pattinson so much that he would not talk to anyone even over the telephone last week? Apparently it was the same news that is not very popular with Taylor Lautner or Kristen Stewart either. Their movie "Twilight: Eclipse...
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Funny story: Canadian Man With Life-Like Looking Silicone Doll Arrested For Assault and Battery

Canadian Man With Life-Like Looking Silicone Doll Arrested For Assault and Battery

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - David Hockey a 57-year-old Canadian man recently vacationed down in sunny Mexico with one of his seven life-like looking silicone dolls named Bianca. Hockey, who says that his wife, who is a real biological woman, said tha...
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Funny story: Big Society Problem Solved

Big Society Problem Solved

David Cameron approached me with a request for an urgent consultation. As his recently appointed Communications Director I immediately went to his office at No 10. The Big Society, Jim Womble, I need your input. Not a good idea. Why's that? Wooly. No one knows what it's all about. Come on. I've explained it clearly. No you haven't. At heart you may have a good idea. People are no...
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Funny story: Fried Squirrel Replaces Bean Soup at Senate Cafeteria

Fried Squirrel Replaces Bean Soup at Senate Cafeteria

The US Senate cafeteria has been renowned for its bean soup. In a bulletin released today, cafeteria management announced that it is replacing the famous bean Soup with fried squirrel. The statement reads in part: "In an effort to keep up with th...
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Funny story: J-E-T-S! Suck, Suck, Suck!

J-E-T-S! Suck, Suck, Suck!

‎"That's it, Mark, take your cleats off for Daddy," coach said, his breath coming in ragged bursts, his forehead damp with sweat. "Take the sock off. That's right... Now, dip it in this Thousand-Island dressing... Now, some of Taco Bell's new salsa verde... some bacon fat... (Nom, nom nom) Yes... yesssss." When did the Jets find out the game was today? Which NFL QB once said to Satan, ‎"So,...
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Funny story: After Losing Playoff Game, Tom Brandy Admits the Patriots Chances of Winning the Super Bowl are Slim

After Losing Playoff Game, Tom Brandy Admits the Patriots Chances of Winning the Super Bowl are Slim

Foxborough, Ma - In an interview with ESPN Monday Patriots quarterback Tom Brady says he hasn't given up hope of winning the Super Bowl quite yet. "Sure, we lost the game," said Brady, "Still, I'm still not sure how this affects our Super Bowl chance...
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Funny story: Rat pack in 10 Downing St. discovered, time for some "pussy" says Cameron!

Rat pack in 10 Downing St. discovered, time for some "pussy" says Cameron!

Ever since the rat-catching cat Humphrey died it seems that rats have been creeping their way back into the Primeminister's residence at Nr 10. Under Tony Blairs regime many a rat was discovered (they shall remain nameless) and his successor, Gord...
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Funny story: Blind Squirrel Finds Nut In White House

Blind Squirrel Finds Nut In White House

White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, confirmed today that a blind squirrel named "Morris" had "surreptitiously entered the White House this past week, and indeed had found a nut in the Oval Office." Denying the report published in Supernatur...
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Funny story: FCC: It's My Yeast Infection, And I Want it Gone Now.

FCC: It's My Yeast Infection, And I Want it Gone Now.

The FCC is tripping over itself, trying to respond to the myriad complaints they've fielded over a promotion for torturous syndicated show "The Doctors", which ran nationwide today: "The FCC is currently investigating certain statements made while...
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Funny story: Sharon Osbourne Disses Fellow 'America's Got Talent' Judge Piers Morgan's Brand New Talk Show

Sharon Osbourne Disses Fellow 'America's Got Talent' Judge Piers Morgan's Brand New Talk Show

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Sharon Osbourne wife of rock and roll's 'Prince of Darkness' Ozzy Osbourne was asked by TV ClickerWorld's Grandiosa Littlehampton what she thought about Piers Morgan's new talk show Piers Morgan Tonight. Sharon who is not shy when...
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Funny story: Karren Brady for Sky Sports

Karren Brady for Sky Sports

Karren Brady, West Ham Vice Chairman, has been given the extra role of Director of Sky Sports on the personal direction of Rupert Murdoch who has rushed back to the UK from America to sort out the crisis caused by sexist remarks by football pundits A...
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Funny story: Attention Americans: Stop Trying To Pronounce Spanish Names Like You Were Born In Cuba And Floated To The US On A Door.

Attention Americans: Stop Trying To Pronounce Spanish Names Like You Were Born In Cuba And Floated To The US On A Door.

Attention Americans: Ours is a nation filled with the wretched refuse of others' teeming shores. There are just as many people named Sanjeep, Ulixes and Kai in this country as there are named Courtney or Eric. And it doesn't matter whether your name is Jose, or if it is spelled with four Z's, an umlaut, three Q's and the number 8, we will find a way to Americanize it just enough to be able t...
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Funny story: The Queen won't meet the Middletons 'because she'll be dead'

The Queen won't meet the Middletons 'because she'll be dead'

London - (Prenup): The Palace's Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon said today HM had accidentally sent them a 'Sorry To hear You Are Leaving' card by mistake at Christmas "although it was festooned with festive robins and holly, heheh!" Apparently...
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Funny story: Vincent Tabak's Girlfriend Tanja Morson To Appear In PlayGuy Magazine

Vincent Tabak's Girlfriend Tanja Morson To Appear In PlayGuy Magazine

LONDON - The London Morning Mincer Revue is reporting that Tanja Morson, girlfriend of Vincent Tabak has agreed to appear in a four-page nude photo layout for PlayGuy Magazine. Morson who is 34 told LMMR reporter Reginald T. Oxfordshire that she t...
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Funny story: Email your symptoms to your doctor - you know it makes sense!

Email your symptoms to your doctor - you know it makes sense!

In an ongoing trial, some 6,000 patients from Cornwall, Kent, and East London, who are known to have long term illnesses, are having to email in their symptoms rather than get an appointment to see a qualified doctor. It is the intention of th...
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Funny story: Drunk pilot forgot where he was flying

Drunk pilot forgot where he was flying

We've all been there after having one or two drinks, walking into the kitchen only to stop and think:' what did I come in here for? Was it to make some toast after feeling a little peckish, pour myself another glass of Merlot or fly to New York?'...
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Funny story: Famous QC Dame Nora Titzoff to defend accused Dutchman Vincent Tabak

Famous QC Dame Nora Titzoff to defend accused Dutchman Vincent Tabak

Bristol - (Smoke N Mirrors): The Old Bailey veteran has been booked to demolish 'a trumped up case' against the architect accused in the Rest-in-Pizza murder case. Dame Nora's hiring comes amid claims a wicked witch-hunt has fingered Tabak. At...
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Funny story: Cosmopolitician Reveals How to Have 30 Orgasms in a Row!

Cosmopolitician Reveals How to Have 30 Orgasms in a Row!

The Cosmopolitician magazine's latest issue is one that will sell out as soon as it hits the stands so they have printed double the usual number and have them ready to do an extra copy with other stories being different but this lead story repeated e...
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Funny story: Rapper Nicki Minaj's London tour hexed by hotel eviction and police car chase

Rapper Nicki Minaj's London tour hexed by hotel eviction and police car chase

London - (Barbz Barbs): The Trinidadian-American rapper is hopping mad after top knobs' hotel The Whorechester threw her out after an affray. A London police car chase then saw Minaj corralled outside Buckingham Palace where she posed for paps in...
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Funny story: Miranda's Comedy Awards Baffle Producers

Miranda's Comedy Awards Baffle Producers

Miranda Hart's success at the British Comedy Awards at the weekend has left producers completely baffled. Hart picked up three awards for her show Miranda - Best Comedy Actress, Best New TV Comedy and The People's Choice Award. The show, which...
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Funny story: Andy Gray's "Balls On A Platter" Please Says Female Colleague In Sky Row

Andy Gray's "Balls On A Platter" Please Says Female Colleague In Sky Row

Sky Sports football presenters Andy Gray and Richard Keys are likely to feel the wrath of their female colleagues when they return to work today. In recordings leaked to the media, they can be heard whining about the appointment of a female refere...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber swap heads!

Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber swap heads!

Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber have swapped heads in one of the worlds most extraordinary experiments. The record companies want to see if the head swap will detract fans from buying records. Social psychologists have monitored there progress and h...
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Funny story: Olympunk Games 2012

Olympunk Games 2012

As you may know, East London will be hosting the Olympic Games in 2012. What you may not know is that many aspects of the games have been specially 'altered' to embrace the culture of the area. A copy of the changes has been leaked from Government sources and is reproduced below. OPENING CEREMONY: The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of...
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Funny story: John Travolta Furious At Ricky Gervais For Insinuating That He Is Gay - Gervais Replied "Get Over It Missy!"

John Travolta Furious At Ricky Gervais For Insinuating That He Is Gay - Gervais Replied "Get Over It Missy!"

BEVERLY HILLS - Actor John Travolta was getting his hair styled at the famed Haven of Hair Salon which is owned by FuFi Fondue when according to FuFi a customer in the next chair identified as Baxley Prattfickle, 29, asked Travolta about The Golden G...
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Funny story: Ashley Greene's Vampire Movie "Lady Labia - The Scourgess of The Carpathian Mountains" Is #1 In Holland, Cuba, Iran, and Kenya

Ashley Greene's Vampire Movie "Lady Labia - The Scourgess of The Carpathian Mountains" Is #1 In Holland, Cuba, Iran, and Kenya

HOLLYWOOD - Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that Bandini Borrapelli's vampire film Lady Labia - The Scourgess of The Carpathian Mountains which stars Ashley Greene has only been out for one week and it has already been named the number one film in...
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Funny story: La Regle Du Sundances With Wolves In Sheep's Clothing Jue: Festival Dispatches Part 6

La Regle Du Sundances With Wolves In Sheep's Clothing Jue: Festival Dispatches Part 6

PARK CITY, UTAH - And so it was. Still not sure why, maybe just because. All in all, business as unusual, I suppose. But, to show you just how much the whole have to be here muss and fuss has a way of paying off big time, Sony has already announced a major pickup deal of "Mudderized For Your Protection," with no wink promises to turn it into a major summertime tentpole. All of which will,...
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Funny story: Estonians Upset about Russian Theme Park Built in Estonia

Estonians Upset about Russian Theme Park Built in Estonia

An outraged Estonia was upset that Russia had built a theme park just inside Estonia's eastern border without their knowledge or permission. The park had apparently been constructed, literally, overnight. The people of Russia were shocked at Estoni...
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Funny story: MTV's New Teen Show "Skins" Has Already Lost Nine of Its Ten Sponsors

MTV's New Teen Show "Skins" Has Already Lost Nine of Its Ten Sponsors

NEW YORK CITY - The Big Apple Globe Gazette, a New York City based entertainment publication has stated that the new MTV show Skins may soon be cancelled. The show which recently premiered has already managed to offend the decency advocate group A...
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Funny story: Transplanted Heart Refuses To Be Put In Dick Cheney's Chest.

Transplanted Heart Refuses To Be Put In Dick Cheney's Chest.

Surgeons have had great difficulty with fitting former President of Vice Dick Cheney (aka- 'Tricky Dicky the Second') with a transplanted heart. Each attempt to put a foreign heart into the open breast of Mr. Cheney has resulted in rejection- not Mr...
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Funny story: Cougar issues statement

Cougar issues statement

A woman from a council estate in Barrow in Furness - alleged by neighbours to be a 'cougar' - a sexual predator with designs of a carnal nature on younger males - today issued a statement from the pathway of her dwelling to two little kids playing on...
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Funny story: Coventry Housing Problem Sparked By 'Silent Treatment'

Coventry Housing Problem Sparked By 'Silent Treatment'

Coventry, the UK city that was remorselessly and relentlessly bombed by Adolf Hitler's Luftwaffe during the Second World War, now has a huge housing problem due to the fact that, in recent years, so many people have been sent there after arguments.
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Funny story: Mike Martz Bombshell: I Designed That Reverse On My Old, Buzzing Coleco Electric Football Game

Mike Martz Bombshell: I Designed That Reverse On My Old, Buzzing Coleco Electric Football Game

Mike Martz, The Chicago Bears Offensive Collapse Coordinator, admitted during a impromptu interview with former hottie (and current "nottie") Pam Oliver that he was secretly hired by the Green Bay Packers, to give them an advantage during the NFC Cha...
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Funny story: Hull City Fans Celebrate Team's Success

Hull City Fans Celebrate Team's Success

Fans of Championship side Hull City were described as being in a state of "delirium" today, after it became clear that their team might well avoid relegation to League One this season! The Tigers are currently in a run of form that any promotion-s...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Admits he hates Selena Gomzez!

Justin Bieber Admits he hates Selena Gomzez!

Yesterday, he was spotted almost punching Selena in the face until a fan came up to them both to ask for an autograph. The fan says she saw Justin about to punch Selena and he was cursing at her so she got mad and made sure nothing else bad happened...
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Funny story: Nearly Nude Pics of Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola Came From Los Angeles Spa!

Nearly Nude Pics of Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola Came From Los Angeles Spa!

Los Angeles police have traced a calendar that sold on the streets for $25 back to it's source at a Los Angeles Spa, called "Take It Off!" Apparently the spa was secretly snapping photos of anyone famous that came by and gave out free first sessio...
View 'Nearly Nude Pics of Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola Came From Los Angeles Spa!'
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