Funny story: Sarah Palin Ready to join a Convent?

Sarah Palin Ready to join a Convent?

Sarah Palin shocked the world today by announcing she has decided to convert to Catholicism and join a convent. According to Ms. Palin she is going to do this in order to heal her youngest son Trig (short for Trigonometry) of his "retard" affliction...
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Funny story: Fellow swinger reveals real reason why Sting likes to dress up Trudie Styler during their tawdry sex sessions

Fellow swinger reveals real reason why Sting likes to dress up Trudie Styler during their tawdry sex sessions

Even regular sex gets boring. No way you say. S'truth. Take Sting for example. Nothing much new and happening on the creative front. So it's back to the boring old sex life of two dried out prunes. Readers will remember a couple of years ago when Sting tried to regale everyone with his expertise on tantric sex - that mysterious Indian Kama Sutra thing that he claims to have mastered. Where...
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Funny story: Peter Fonda corpse mystery deepens

Peter Fonda corpse mystery deepens

Los Angeles - (Airbags): Just what's wrong with the people of Sunset Boulevard that a man, dead at the wheel of his car, goes unnoticed for three whole days? "It's not like he, er, died from boredom in a traffic jam," a LAPD patrolman admitted aft...
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Funny story: David Cameron to introduce new Nick Clegg shield to the MoD

David Cameron to introduce new Nick Clegg shield to the MoD

Prime Minister David Cameron is set to introduce a new Nick Clegg shield to the Ministry of Defence (MoD), as part of the government's commitment to the armed forces. The new Nick Clegg shield has been successfully trialled by David Cameron since...
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Funny story: F. Lee Bailey: OJ Simpson Did Not Turn His Wife Into A Pez Dispenser. And I'm Not Crazy.

F. Lee Bailey: OJ Simpson Did Not Turn His Wife Into A Pez Dispenser. And I'm Not Crazy.

Brainsick, disbarred former lawyer F. Lee Bailey's newest book, "Writings From The Booby House," articulates in detail --1,422 pages worth-- just how he can prove that OJ Simpson did not turn his wife into a Pez dispenser in 1994. How can there be t...
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Funny story: Harry Potter 8 to be published in May 2011

Harry Potter 8 to be published in May 2011

J.K. Rowling disclosed at a book signing today that she has secretly been writing the eighth book in the Harry Potter series. "I completed the manuscript last week and it's with the editors as we speak," said the wealthy author. When asked about...
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Funny story: The Messiah, King Kenny relieves the command of 'Anfieldgrad' siege, from Von Hodgson!

The Messiah, King Kenny relieves the command of 'Anfieldgrad' siege, from Von Hodgson!

This was 'Anfieldgrad', Liverpool: On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffering the fiercest cold Winter and were beleagured. The siege of 'Anfieldgrad' had been 'simmering' for six long months, with Von Hodgson's forces besieged on the banks...
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Funny story: Palin hits out at critics 'irresponsibly accurate' attribution of blame for Arizona shootings

Palin hits out at critics 'irresponsibly accurate' attribution of blame for Arizona shootings

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin has hit out at American commentators 'irresponsibly accurate' attribution of blame for the Arizona shootings by suggesting they were displaying the kind of 'damn fine shot' that was sadly lacking during the grocery...
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Funny story: Speaker Bercow tells Tory boy Pritchard "not to take a leak in my time"

Speaker Bercow tells Tory boy Pritchard "not to take a leak in my time"

John Bercow is one Speaker of the UK, House of Commons, who will not cow tow to the Government or their Whips. A Tory MP, Bercow was elected, as Speaker, by the Labour Party, who were the majority party in the House of Commons. Since then, the Tor...
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Funny story: Katie Price switches sports, cage fighting to boxing!

Katie Price switches sports, cage fighting to boxing!

Katie Price, Jordan, or UK's Nr1 bimbo, has decided to swap sports because cage fighting with her husband, Alex Reid, (otherwise known as Alexis Reid whilst dressed as a transvestite), is boring. Katie is famous for doing absolutely nothing, apart...
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Funny story: Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio States That Gays Are No Longer Welcome In Arizona

Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio States That Gays Are No Longer Welcome In Arizona

MARICOPA, Arizona - The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle recently spoke with Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio, who is probably the most well-known lawman in the entire United States. "Pinky" Arpaio, was given his unusual nickname by the inmates, pr...
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Funny story: Spoofer Accidentally Finds Extra-Terrestrials Using SETI Sceensaver

Spoofer Accidentally Finds Extra-Terrestrials Using SETI Sceensaver

BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - At 5.08pm GMT, spoofer Inhopeless has found alien life using his home computer. "Well," he said, "I just downloaded the screensaver. I went to get my memory stick from my coat, and that took some time. My computer screensaver ki...
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Funny story: Shylock Humes: The case of the missing Isle of Wight

Shylock Humes: The case of the missing Isle of Wight

Shylock, stood on the deck of HMS Arch Rumble. His stomach lay on the sea, wiping his mouth, he turned to the bridge. The Helmsman's face showed white through the porthole. Captain Horatio Belton approached the vomit covered Shylock. "Ya got no sea legs me lad!" He bellowed. Shylock steaded himself, "I have recieved a telegram about the missing Isle of Wight" "Yes", the captain ass...
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Funny story: Rush Doesn't Hate All Liberals

Rush Doesn't Hate All Liberals

Washington - Rush Limbaugh doesn't hate all liberals, he made that point on his radio show today. "I like those liberals that let me off for that little drug problem I had. A conservative probably throws me in jail for a couple years." Rush said...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly All Tell Sarah Palin To Please Not Call Them For A While

Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly All Tell Sarah Palin To Please Not Call Them For A While

NEW YORK CITY - The Tittle Tattle Tonight news program is reporting that GOP mouthpieces, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly have each personally asked Sarah Palin to please not call them until this "CrosshairsGate" things blo...
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Funny story: Lost Shakespeare Play a Hit

Lost Shakespeare Play a Hit

A play by English Bard, William Shakespeare, found recently in an attic in Lesser Crumble, has become a hit sensation. The person who found the play, John Cribb, has made a fortune over the rights he has on the manuscript which he has allowed Holl...
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Funny story: Shock Flood Hits Village

Shock Flood Hits Village

A village yet to be named in Yorkshire has suffered a shock flood. Pensioner, Bill Trout, decided to have a bath yesterday and whilst listening transfixed to Question Time in the House of Commons he forgot to turn off his taps. He was yelling a...
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Funny story: Finally: A Midwestern Patriot Militia That Isn't Crazy

Finally: A Midwestern Patriot Militia That Isn't Crazy

A right-wing patriot group, unfazed by left or right-wing political rhetoric and 100% sane, was found by Tawdry Soup busily training for Armageddon just beyond the Wabash County line. The rag-tag militia consisted of two guys walking down a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. They were wearing Sputnik era fatigues and weighed down with so much crap they looked like a walking army surplus store.
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Funny story: BBC Response To Ageism Charges Goes Awry

BBC Response To Ageism Charges Goes Awry

Attempts by the BBC to prove it is not ageist or sexist when it chooses on-screen presenters is having some dubious results. The broadcaster is urgently putting older faces on screen after it lost the industrial tribunal brought by Miriam O'Reilly...
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Funny story: Tarrant to bounce back!

Tarrant to bounce back!

A red eyed and tearful Chris Tarrant finally came out from his Ascot mansion this morning (Thursday) to face reporters waiting outside the large iron railings of his front gate eager to hear his reaction to the news that the TV quiz show he presents called 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' is likely to be axed due to a sharp drop in viewing figures. "Sorry to keep you all waiting ou...
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Funny story: Name for new Beckham baby announced

Name for new Beckham baby announced

David and Victoria Beckham, announcing the expectation of their fourth child, have pre-empted the media and revealed exclusively to all newspapers as well as Hello, OK and, by a special request from David Beckham, Exchange and Mart Magazine, the name...
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Funny story: Naked Male Pygmy on Cover of National Geographic Receives 10,000 Marriage Proposals

Naked Male Pygmy on Cover of National Geographic Receives 10,000 Marriage Proposals

A naked male pygmy from the Ituri Forest in the Congo has received over 10,000 marriage proposals from women and 200 from men all around the world after appearing on the cover of the National Geographic. Although the magazine uses a black box over...
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Funny story: House of Commons Speaker in 'shagging royalty' row

House of Commons Speaker in 'shagging royalty' row

London - (Reuterus & Royal Ass): Is House of Commons Speaker John Bercow 'up the Palace's arse?' The filthy row exploded over reports of Bercow 'being in bed with Prince William' following Tuesday's vote on sovereignty. Deputy chair of the...
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Funny story: China insists that giant death ray is not a threat to U.S.

China insists that giant death ray is not a threat to U.S.

After the successful test of its first ever Giant Death Ray, China has reiterated to U.S. officials that it is in no way meant to challenge or threaten American military interests in the Pacific or elsewhere. In a statement released during Defens...
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Funny story: Palin: "Where is everybody?!"

Palin: "Where is everybody?!"

In a Palin rally planned today for Tucson, Arizona, Sarah Palin strode onto the stage and looked out at an empty parking lot. The only reporter at the event was a seventeen-year-old intern from Fox News. "Where is everybody?," shouted Palin.
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Funny story: Easy on the mayo, guys, as dead meerkat found in sandwich

Easy on the mayo, guys, as dead meerkat found in sandwich

Kent - (Lettuce Prey): The body of a dead meerkat, missing from a Kent wildlife park, has been found inside a sandwich. Local shoppers say bits of the furry roadkill were seen protruding from the £2.50p organic wholegrain toastie at St Bart's Roa...
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Funny story: Hugh Hefner Engaged to Himself, Simultaneously Comes out of the Closet

Hugh Hefner Engaged to Himself, Simultaneously Comes out of the Closet

Los Angeles- Startling friends and former lovers and former playmates and former lovers of playmates and former friends of lovers of playmates, and former lovers of friends of playmates, Hugh Hefner announced today that he is marrying himself and co...
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Funny story: Goldmans and KKR back UK bid to buy out Euro

Goldmans and KKR back UK bid to buy out Euro

George (Ozzy) Osbourne, UK Chancellor, revealed today that at his recent meeting with Jean-Claude Trichet, President of the European Central Bank he had tabled a bid to buy out the Euro for 1 Trillion UK pounds. The bid is backed by Goldman Sachs...
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Funny story: 1066 and all that Jazz!

1066 and all that Jazz!

Being utterly incapable of lateral thinking once again David Cameroon and his motley crew of well britched imbeciles blunder ever forth with one naff policy after another. As Phil 'the sage' Schofield would say, "and in no particular order here are the results of the Coalition Governments barnstorming plans to resurrect a totally fucked UK since January 1st 2011!" Slash thousands of jobs acr...
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Funny story: Wedding Horror Feared

Wedding Horror Feared

Buckingham Palace is in turmoil at the prospect of strikes being called to coincide with the wedding of William and Kate. The Queen, in a private audience with David Cameron has expressed her horror at the possibility of strikes and the Government...
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Funny story: Alternative MP's initials Descriptions

Alternative MP's initials Descriptions

Our reporter Inchcock was musing as he was attending to his ablutions, and wrote down a list of alternative names that would represent MPs = Members of Parliament. Here is the resulting scribble. He did say he intended to create more, but unfortunately he ran out of paper, he thought he's got a spare roll, but no! Malicious People - Macabre Personages - Machinating People Maladapted Parliame...
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Funny story: 127 Hours Shocks Norwich Cinema-Goers

127 Hours Shocks Norwich Cinema-Goers

A cinema has had to put up a warning sign after film fans passed out when they watched gory scenes in Danny Boyle's 127 Hours. The film tells the story of Aaron Alston who amputated his own arm when he was trapped by a boulder for five days. Bu...
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Funny story: QVSee+1 is launched on Freeview

QVSee+1 is launched on Freeview

Popular Shopping channel, QVSee is to launch a +1 (pronounced Plus One) channel that repeats the main QVSee channel, but an hour delayed. "We think that this will be something our viewers would make full use of," said QVSee owner Quentin Victor Se...
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Funny story: Tina Fey, Johnny Depp, and Robert Pattinson To Star In "Crosshairs - The Sarah Palin Story"

Tina Fey, Johnny Depp, and Robert Pattinson To Star In "Crosshairs - The Sarah Palin Story"

HOLLYWOOD - Famed Italian director Luigi Luigiani has just announced that he will soon be directing Tina Fey and Johnny Depp in the production of Crosshairs - The Sarah Palin Story. Luigiani, who has directed some of the biggest actresses in Holly...
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Funny story: London Theatre Roundup

London Theatre Roundup

Hello luvvies, this is Cecil Poofburger, and here is this week's summary of theatrical happenings in London's West End. This Thursday marks the opening of "Bizz", the musical hit show based on the songs of the 1980s band "Bucks Fizz". The show is unusual for a West End production in being only 55 minutes long. It is also unusual in featuring an audience participation segment where theatre-goers...
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Funny story: Yucatan's Green Guacamole Drug Cartel Issues A Stern Warning To Topeka's Fanatical Westburro Atheist Church

Yucatan's Green Guacamole Drug Cartel Issues A Stern Warning To Topeka's Fanatical Westburro Atheist Church

COZUMEL, Mexico - The Cozumel Cha Cha Cha Times is reporting that the Green Guacamole Drug Cartel, which is based in Tulum, Yucatan, Mexico has just ended a three day seminar and convention in the resort town of Cozumel. Pablo Pedro Salsa De Fuego...
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Funny story: Willow Palin Has An Out-of-Control Fantasy Fetish About Justin Bieber

Willow Palin Has An Out-of-Control Fantasy Fetish About Justin Bieber

WASILLA, Alaska - The television news program Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that Sarah Palin's second daughter, the non-dancing Willow Palin, has admitted to having an out-of-control fetish regarding Justin Bieber. Willow "The Pillow" as her...
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Funny story: Liverpool Sack Dalglish!

Liverpool Sack Dalglish!

In the most amazing managerial turnaround ever seen in English football, Liverpool last night sacked new manager Kenny Dalglish after just two games in charge, in the aftermath of the Reds' 2-1 defeat at Blackpool. Dalglish only took the reins at...
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Funny story: Boeing announces delivery schedule for 787!

Boeing announces delivery schedule for 787!

Everett, WA - Today Jim Albaugh, President and CEO of Boeing's Commercial Airline division announced at a press conference that delivery of the oft-postponed Boeing 787 Luxury Airliner will be April 1, 2025. After hearing the collective gasp insid...
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Funny story: Wounded Congresswoman Refuses To Talk to President Obama

Wounded Congresswoman Refuses To Talk to President Obama

Representative Gabrielle Giffords, the Congresswoman wounded along with 14 others in an assassination attempt in Tuscon, Arizona, is guilty of a perceived slight, when she refused to speak with President Obama, who visited her just before sucking the...
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Funny story: Bankers in Bunkers - Bonkers!

Bankers in Bunkers - Bonkers!

Terrified top bankers from London's City area have fled to specially fortified bunkers deep underground in a secret location, though this paper can reveal that it is somewhere under the English Channel. It is thought that a series of bunkers for use...
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Funny story: Adam Lambert Gets The Horn In Nantucket

Adam Lambert Gets The Horn In Nantucket

There is far more to openly gay pop star Adam Lambert, who was runner-up in the 8th season of American Idol, than simply looking like Elvis Presley's Gay Nephew or being a big girl's blouse and milking his sudden fame for all it is worth, writes Beli...
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