Funny story: Man Not Fooled by Email Claming to Be His Girlfriend's Nude Photos

Man Not Fooled by Email Claming to Be His Girlfriend's Nude Photos

GMAIL, INTERNET - Darren Roberts, 23, received an electronic message in his Google Mail account. The message, which consisted of the heading Valentine's Day Photos from Me, Your Lady-friend ;) and the subject Nude Pics and contained the message Yo...
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Funny story: Sauce bottle collection stolen overnight

Sauce bottle collection stolen overnight

A Gorleston man's life was left in tatters this morning after heartless thieves broke into his garden shed and stole his prized collection of sauce bottles. Kevin Ramsey, 61, of Oak Road struggled to hold back tears as he explained that his entire...
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Funny story: Anti-Bullying Charity Shuts Down After Being Picked On

Anti-Bullying Charity Shuts Down After Being Picked On

BIRMINGHAM - Counter-Bullyline, a anti-bullying helpline, has been forced to shut down after being attacked by other charities. "We had to," said a spokesman, "Headlines [Mental Health] and Pro-Home [Homeless] said they'd beat us up if we told the...
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Funny story: Christian Bale's Ego, Too Big For Christian Bale, Doctors' Warn

Christian Bale's Ego, Too Big For Christian Bale, Doctors' Warn

Anxious scenes tonight, as a team of surgeons try to separate Christian Bale from his own overinflated ego. The controversial procedure, known as a Twatendectomy, is only performed in the most severe of cases, when all other interventions have failed...
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Funny story: Australian Cook Book Shock

Australian Cook Book Shock

A series of unfortunate printing mistakes has led to an Australian cook book having to be binned by Penguin Group Australia. £12,000 worth of copies of the Pasta bible had to be reprinted when the errors came to light. The first cookery cock-up...
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Funny story: ASBOs Replaced with Naughty Wall

ASBOs Replaced with Naughty Wall

BIRMINGHAM - After the Conservetive government announced it will discontinue the Anti-Social Behaivoiur Order (ASBO) scheme, many local councils are in panic at what alternative measures to use. However, the City of Birmingham Council has implemen...
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Funny story: Health Warning Over New Procedure

Health Warning Over New Procedure

Medical experts are united in their condemnation of the latest cosmetic craze that is sweeping the globe. Bollocks enhancement is especially popular in 3rd world countries, particularly in South America where big balls are regarded as attractive and...
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Funny story: Kauto Star punters feeling vindicated as horses tasered at Newbury

Kauto Star punters feeling vindicated as horses tasered at Newbury

Berks - (Bolt From The Blue): A race-knobbling syndicate is suspected of firing an equine taser at Newbury racecourse which killed two horses on Saturday. Fenix Two and Marching Song dropped dead in the parade ring amid suspicions 'someone in the...
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Funny story: Elderly lady swells up!

Elderly lady swells up!

What began as relatively normal day came within a whisker of turning into a tragedy for the Beekman family of Worcester yesterday. Bert Beekman and his wife Elsie were looking forward to a visit from their three children, their partners, and their...
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Funny story: Woman to divorce own vagina

Woman to divorce own vagina

A 22 year old Brooklyn woman has filed divorce against her vagina on the grounds it has failed to meet "expected functioning." Helen Splinter, a Texan native who immigrated to New York less than a month ago says she has had enough of her "useless...
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Funny story: Spider-Man To Join Fantastic Four, Says Agent Drew Rosenhaus

Spider-Man To Join Fantastic Four, Says Agent Drew Rosenhaus

New York City is about to become a little bit safer, after word from The Baxter Building that Spider-Man will be replacing Johnny Storm after his tragic death during the Negative Zone crisis. Spidey, please don't change costumes! We know how...
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Funny story: City Legend Mike Summerbee In Sky Sports Meltdown

City Legend Mike Summerbee In Sky Sports Meltdown

Former Manchester City star Mike 'Tra-la-la-la' Summerbee had a Keeganesque few minutes today in the Sky Sports studio at Old Trafford following today's Manchester derby. Clearly disappointed, and exuding bitterness, the former City winger finally...
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Funny story: Snowdrop crop circle marks Queen Boudica's grave

Snowdrop crop circle marks Queen Boudica's grave

Wilts - (Slay Lines): A 500 ft snowdrop crop circle has sprung up in a Devizes rapeseed field, believed by many to conceal Queen's Boudica's tomb. Farmers spotted the botanical etching following reports of a 'crowned woman warrior' ascending triu...
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Funny story: Rooney Wonder Goal Scuppers Sorry City

Rooney Wonder Goal Scuppers Sorry City

Manchester derby games are always tense and tightly contested affairs, and todays Old Trafford clash between the Londoners and their noisy neighbours did little to break the mould. City appeared to have a slight edge in the first half, playing ass...
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Funny story: Dawn of the Damned: NASA's Valentine's Day Comet Rendezvous Freaks Out Palace Astrologers

Dawn of the Damned: NASA's Valentine's Day Comet Rendezvous Freaks Out Palace Astrologers

London - (Pie-in-the-Sky): They went to court to try and stop it because of massive black hole and red dwarf fears in HM's zodiac chart. But Monday's meet-up between NASA's Stardust-NExT spacecraft and Comet Tempel-1 Mount will take place regardle...
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Funny story: SuBo fanatics buy Forth Bridge!

SuBo fanatics buy Forth Bridge!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they are buying the Forth Bridge, so they can rename it the Susan Boyle Bridge. "We think it's important that a major Scottish landmark is named after Susan. We asked the go...
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Funny story: "Egyptians Are Sissies," Says Bachmann in New NRA Ad

"Egyptians Are Sissies," Says Bachmann in New NRA Ad

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann gave a brief press conference on the tarmac at Washington National Airport this morning before boarding a plane to Cairo. "The Egyptians are sissies," stated Bachmann. "Was this any kind of way to have a revolution?...
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Funny story: Valentine's Day Renewal of Love for Cameron and Clegg

Valentine's Day Renewal of Love for Cameron and Clegg

With February 14th rapidly approaching the time to express true love has come. So happy couple David Cameron and Nick Clegg, in a ground breaking agreement, have vowed to love each other until it is no longer reasonable to do so. 'This is such...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan and Egypt Celebrate a new Brutal Military Dictatorship

Lindsay Lohan and Egypt Celebrate a new Brutal Military Dictatorship

Yesterday Egyptians in Tahrir Square went berserk with joy as Hosni Mubarak fled to Orlando and bought Hosniworld. The New York Times wrote "New Era dawns in Egypt and Across the Arab World: Cairo: A new era dawned in Egypt on Saturday as this nation...
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Funny story: Clarke Told to Cut it Out

Clarke Told to Cut it Out

Kenneth Clarke, the human face of Conservatism, and (for the moment) Justice Secretary has been told by Prime Minister, Cameron to 'CUT IT OUT!', following Clarke's comments in the 'Daily Telegraph' (of all places) that the middle classes have not ap...
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Funny story: Clarkson Backs Flying Car

Clarkson Backs Flying Car

Indian inventor, A.K. Vishwinath has joined up with Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson with the invention of a car that flies. The vertical lift off, achieved through rotating blades designed by bumble bees who have studied mathematics for years,...
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Funny story: Middle Classes Under Threat

Middle Classes Under Threat

Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke has warned that the middle classes are largely unaware of the effect government spending cuts will have on their lives. Clarke feels in particular that Middle England will be particularly hit by the scale of upheav...
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Funny story: Middle East Turmoil Set To Continue

Middle East Turmoil Set To Continue

In the wake the inevitable resignation of Egyptian leader President Mubarak, the wind of change is set to blow through the whole of the Middle East, a prominent political analyst has warned. Sol Goldstein, Emeritus Professor of Politics at Stanfor...
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Funny story: Council Cuts Latest

Council Cuts Latest

Hard pressed local councils are having to come up with imaginative ways of saving money if they are to survive the next few years of hardship. Some police forces have already looked into the possibility of sharing administrative and I.T. staff, wh...
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Funny story: Jordan On Prowl, "Miaow"

Jordan On Prowl, "Miaow"

A fur clad Jordan was on the prowl last night on a six hour bender. Jordan was wearing a rabbit-skin black poncho and sheer leopard skin tights, and a furry Russian cossak style hat. Worried friends say that Jordan is facing meltdown after finall...
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Funny story: Jedward In Line for Award

Jedward In Line for Award

They may have lost out on X Factor glory, but Jedward are in the running to receive one of the most prestigious entertainment honours. John and Edward Grimes, who appeared in the sixth series of the popular talent show, have been nominated for a M...
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Funny story: Bermuda Triangle Found In Plymouth

Bermuda Triangle Found In Plymouth

Marine Biologists from all over the world gathered in amazement in Plymouth this week to witness this spectacular discovery. The Bermuda Triangle, for centuries the biggest danger to ships around Bermuda was dragged up in a fisherman's trawler ne...
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Funny story: Macca At the White House

Macca At the White House

Sir Paul McCartney has performed another concert at the White House. The 67 year old ex Beatle sang for the President in 2010 after receiving the third annual Gerschwin Prize For Popular Song. Among the songs he performed this time for the Obama family was the ballad Michelle, with lyrics of course directed to the First Lady. Its understood the full set list was as follows - Michelle...
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Funny story: French Flag Desecrated

French Flag Desecrated

France is in turmoil after allegations were published in the national newspaper Le Monde that a man had been photographed wiping his behind on the French flag. Justice officials have called this form of behaviour "totally unacceptable" and have la...
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Funny story: Bungs Probe Stuns Scottish Football

Bungs Probe Stuns Scottish Football

Scottish football has been rocked by the news that the Scottish Football League is investigating allegations that two of its officials offered to sell their votes in the contest to host the 2011 Alba Cup Final. 2 reporters from The Inversneckie B...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Finally Admits That She Has A Major Crush On Zac Efron

Kristen Stewart Finally Admits That She Has A Major Crush On Zac Efron

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Kristen Stewart had flown down to Mexico to spend a few days relaxing in the Baja California sun all by herself. She checked into The El Super Matador Hotel ($600 per night) and went to have lunch in the hotel's famed Olé...
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Funny story: World Cup 2010 Aftermath

World Cup 2010 Aftermath

The fallout from England's disastrous 2010 World Cup campaign rumbles on - the FA has lodged an official complaint to organisers over the failure in security that allowed a fan to enter the England dressing room after the 0-0 draw with Algeria. "T...
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Funny story: Football Stars Fall Foul of the Law

Football Stars Fall Foul of the Law

Four Manchester City stars have been fined for the same driving offence. Police swooped on the Blues' training ground last week and issued £30 fixed penalty notices to Kolo Toure, Patrick Viera, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Shay Given after observing...
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Funny story: First Aid Training for Children?

First Aid Training for Children?

An international aid charity is recommending that, in view of the large numbers of 11 to 16 year olds who find themselves in the company of friends who are unconscious through drink, they should be given first aid training. Furthermore, its under...
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Funny story: Papal Official In Trouble

Papal Official In Trouble

Emissary Cardinale Flavio Escudio is to be carpeted by papal officials after passing on a tasteless joke about former referee development officer Hugh Dallas from his St Peter's Square email account. The under fire legate will have to explain hims...
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Funny story: Code of Conduct for Shoppers

Code of Conduct for Shoppers

The Consortium of Shopping Centre Retailers have issued a Code of Conduct for anyone using their more specially challenged facilities. 1. Single persons are not allowed access. Shoppers must enter the centre in at least pairs. 2. Shoppers will only be allowed access if they are carrying at least 3 fully laden carrier bags. 3. Customers are only allowed to stop and talk to people they re...
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Funny story: Threat of More Postal Strikes

Threat of More Postal Strikes

Post Office workers the length and breadth of the country are to be balloted by the CWU (Communication Workers Union) in a row over proposed changes to their conditions of service. Postmen are furious that the Post Office seems committed to pushin...
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Funny story: The Cleveland Cavaliers May Soon Become The Cancun Cavaliers

The Cleveland Cavaliers May Soon Become The Cancun Cavaliers

CANCUN, Mexico - A few weeks ago LeBron James of The Miami Heat had become so upset with his ex-team the Cleveland Cavaliers organization as well as with their fans that he actually threatened to buy the team and move them to Baghdad, Iraq. Well n...
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Funny story: Tiger's Former Doctor Faces Charges

Tiger's Former Doctor Faces Charges

Tiger Woods, who has only recently been showing signs of a return to form after a troubled year, has been rocked by news that a doctor who previously treated a number of elite athletes, including Woods himself, has been charged with supplying illegal...
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Funny story: Scissors Sisters Woe

Scissors Sisters Woe

Legendary music producer Rick Rubin has revealed that he scrapped an album by the Scissors Sisters they'd been working on together for 18 months. A spokesman for the producer said: "Although we and Rick tried to put our heart and soul into the pro...
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Funny story: Muslim Quran will be taught in public schools

Muslim Quran will be taught in public schools

The Kentucky Senate passed a bill to teach Quran classes and Sharia Law in public schools. The bill made it through the Kentucky legislature. The noble and brilliant State Senator Joe Bowels says he wants children in Kentucky's public schools to...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Rekindles Her Feud With Taylor Momsen

Miley Cyrus Rekindles Her Feud With Taylor Momsen

EL PASO, Texas - La Chupacabra Convention Center in El Paso was completely sold out as the 30,000 fans eagerly awaited the star of the evening's show Miley Cyrus. Zydeco Dupree, a comedian from Louisiana had opened the show. And now a local Native...
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Funny story: More Climbdowns by the BBC

More Climbdowns by the BBC

The BBC trust has been rocked by a series of apologies its been obliged to make in relation to some of its most famous programmes. In December 2010, the Trust apologised to all follicly challenged people for the running gag against wig wearers per...
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Funny story: Joan Rivers, Betty White, and Cloris Leachman To Star In "Charlie's Angels - The Hip Replacement Years"

Joan Rivers, Betty White, and Cloris Leachman To Star In "Charlie's Angels - The Hip Replacement Years"

HOLLYWOOD - The Gladiator Motion Picture Company in association with Late December Films has announced that filming has already started on Charleen Belle Pinnzucker's Charlie'a Angels - The Hip Replacement Years. The part of Jill Munroe is being p...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton Has Agreed To Portray Lindsay Lohan In "Freckles - The Lindsay Lohan Story"

Paris Hilton Has Agreed To Portray Lindsay Lohan In "Freckles - The Lindsay Lohan Story"

BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton who really hasn't done much of anything for quite sometime told her hairdresser Mr. Tabby of Topanga Canyon that she will soon begin filming the motion picture Freckles - The Lindsay Lohan Story. Hilton was asked by Pa...
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Funny story: Valentine's Day to Be Spent Like Its Namesake

Valentine's Day to Be Spent Like Its Namesake

EARTH - As people across the globe attempt to spend time with their loved ones, most are turning to the roots of St. Valentine. Valentine, which is derived from Valentinus, and means worthy man, so if you think you have a hell of a guy, he's a lit...
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Funny story: Ryan Giggs Yoga Guru Shocks Manchester United Football Club Chiefs

Ryan Giggs Yoga Guru Shocks Manchester United Football Club Chiefs

Ryan Giggs' Yoga Guru has stunned Manchester United Football chiefs by giving them an offer that they definitely can refuse. He told the very rich, very fat group of couch potatoes that the only way to gain enlightenment is through fasting and pover...
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Funny story: Nokia Cheating on Microsoft with Google?

Nokia Cheating on Microsoft with Google?

PALO ALTO, CA - After news emerged that Nokia would use Microsoft's Windows Phone Seven OS, Nokia has been caught in a scandalous affair. The company, which has arguably made the best handsets in the world since the 90s, and still owns over 70% of...
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Funny story: Miracle Weight Loss Plant to be Unveiled by Jamie Oliver

Miracle Weight Loss Plant to be Unveiled by Jamie Oliver

A miracle weight loss plant is set to be unveiled today by healthy food Guru, Jamie Oliver. The product is so simple, and tastes so fantastic that people will wonder why they've never eaten before. This plant, however, isn't one that has just be...
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Funny story: Mubarak Found in Surrey

Mubarak Found in Surrey

GUILDFORD, ENG. - After Mubarak stepped down as ruler of Egypt, sources say he went into hiding. That is, to the place no-one will think to look. Surrey. After submerging with the locals, who had no clue who he was, Mubarak was found out by some p...
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Funny story: Super Bowl Champion Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Refuses To Confirm Brett Favre As His Facebook Friend

Super Bowl Champion Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Refuses To Confirm Brett Favre As His Facebook Friend

GREEN BAY - Aaron Rodgers replaced Brett Favre as the Green Bay Packers quarterback three years ago and after winning the 2011 Super Bowl and being named its MVP, which Favre never was, Rodgers is now enjoying hearing all of the Packer fans ask "Bret...
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Funny story: Jackson Hewitt Sues H&R Block, Calls Ads 'False,' 'Unimaginative.'

Jackson Hewitt Sues H&R Block, Calls Ads 'False,' 'Unimaginative.'

Jackson Hewitt Tax Service --the guys who actually have Refund Anticipation Loans, and do not use homeless men dressed up as the Statue of Liberty in their marketing campaign-- has sued soon-to-be-bankrupt H&R Block to stop a new advertising camp...
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Funny story: Mubarek Leaves! Cairo Newspapers Exclaim, "Squiggle, Squiggle, Dash, Squiggle, Dot, Dot."

Mubarek Leaves! Cairo Newspapers Exclaim, "Squiggle, Squiggle, Dash, Squiggle, Dot, Dot."

The burbling activity at once spun at a furious face: 750,000 Egyptians moved as one; a sea of future NYC cab drivers surging toward televisions located throughout Tiananmen Square. Then a short, one-paragraph speech, read on TV by Egyptian Vice-pres...
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