Funny story: Earth twin planets Kepler 20e and 20f 'to be upgraded to 36DD'

Earth twin planets Kepler 20e and 20f 'to be upgraded to 36DD'

Space - NASA geeks said today the new galactic cup sizing reflects a shift away from prepubescent planetoid measurements in the newly discovered Cleavage Constellation. Earlier reports from the Agency's Kepler space telescope assessed the rocky sa...
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Funny story: Sir Bruce Forsythe's estranged wig off on hols for Christmas

Sir Bruce Forsythe's estranged wig off on hols for Christmas

With Christmas fast approaching, news reaches us that Simon Cowell and his merry band of brown nosers are not the only ones off on an annual winter break this year. After many years of loyal service, Sir Bruce Forsythe's wig, Stanley, is off on a...
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Funny story: Egyptians celebrate new discovery

Egyptians celebrate new discovery

Egyptian scientists have found that a Camel's toe can actually be used as an aphrodisiac. The discovery was made by three University undergraduates who had stolen their local University rivals football mascot. On getting the camel home they embar...
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Funny story: Penn State University Has Decided To Change Its Name In Order To Get Rid of The Coach Jerry Sandusky Stigma

Penn State University Has Decided To Change Its Name In Order To Get Rid of The Coach Jerry Sandusky Stigma

UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - In a collegiate move that has surprised 91 percent of the Penn State faculty and 93 percent of the Penn State student body, school administrators have moved to change the university's name. Penn State spokesperson...
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Funny story: X-Factor Host Steve Jones Will Be Given The Old Heave Ho and Be Replaced By Derek Hough

X-Factor Host Steve Jones Will Be Given The Old Heave Ho and Be Replaced By Derek Hough

HOLLYWOOD - It is no secret that Steve Jones hosting X-Factor is kind of like watching a salmon climb out of a river and try to run along the banks - it is a very sad and uncomfortable sight to watch. Many of the Hollywood publications including T...
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Funny story: Dame Penelope Farthing Makes Clean Sweep At Dorking Xmas Pickles And Preserves Festival

Dame Penelope Farthing Makes Clean Sweep At Dorking Xmas Pickles And Preserves Festival

Celebrations were well under way at Felcher's Bottom Manor last night, as local aristocrat, Dame Penelope Farthing swept the board at the 71st annual Dorking Xmas Pickles And Preserves Festival, which this year was held on the top field of the Starli...
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Funny story: George Clooney off the market and set to marry Ann Widdecombe

George Clooney off the market and set to marry Ann Widdecombe

Yes, showbiz fans, here at news headquarters we cannot quite believe it either (in fact our editor choked on his weight-watchers muesli bar when the stunning news came in) but 'tis true!! Womanising, silver fox and star of 'Return of the killer tomat...
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Funny story: Seasonal adjustment disorder? There's an app for that

Seasonal adjustment disorder? There's an app for that

Sufferers of Seasonal Adjustment Disorder (SAD) can finally rejoice with the latest applelet from MyWay Apps, iNoSad. "This is brilliant," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "Worth every cent of the ten dollar fee. I've not only bought it for myse...
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Funny story: Iraq sends Obama a slice of Turkey mistakenly!

Iraq sends Obama a slice of Turkey mistakenly!

Iraq have mistakenly gifted President Obama a huge slice of Turkey which was actually meant for their Kurds living in the Zagros mountains of Turkey. The President always enjoys Christmas presents from ex-enemies and whilst opening it he diplomat...
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Funny story: Dyslexic Man Proclaims Bah Humbug after Bedbug Infestation

Dyslexic Man Proclaims Bah Humbug after Bedbug Infestation

Filing an insect nuisance report with the New York Department of Adult Entertainment Licensing and Insect Eradication, a man who had first said his name was Pike Marker, claims that his entire apartment complex is "wovered cith humbugs", apparently j...
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Funny story: Real Music Fans Sad to Hear Jon Bon Jovi Still Alive

Real Music Fans Sad to Hear Jon Bon Jovi Still Alive

New Jersey, NJ--Real music fans were saddened to hear that Jon Bon Jovi is still alive. It seems it was just a internet hoax of the talentless wonders death. "I woke-up and heard the great news, Jon Bon Jovi died, but it was not to be. I can stil...
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Funny story: It's time for "Dislike"

It's time for "Dislike"

EVite Inc. threw its hat firmly into the social networking ring this week, announcing new features for its venerable electronic invitation web site aimed at further engaging invitees. Termed "dislike", the new feature allows a user to "dislike" other invitees and conditionally accept evites, effectively providing a means for an invitee to say "I'll come if Person x doesn't come". Dislikes can be...
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Funny story: Syria Shows The Way

Syria Shows The Way

The example of how the Syrian Government has dealt with rioters has stirred the Police Federation to attempt to follow in their footsteps. In future anyone who disagrees with the Government in Britain is liable to be shot - you can even get into trou...
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Funny story: Federal Reserve building under sea pipeline to pump dollars to Europe

Federal Reserve building under sea pipeline to pump dollars to Europe

Atlantic Ocean - Our source, Micky Splainit aboard the S.S. Dollylop, a pipeline building vessel dispatched by the Federal Reserve, reports that construction of a pipeline capable of pumping a trillion dollars per day to Germany is nearly completed.
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Funny story: Kate apes Diana in black evening dress disaster

Kate apes Diana in black evening dress disaster

London - It sent a chilling blast-from-the-past as Kate swept in on William's arm to a Red Top paper's party last night in a Diana copycat frock circa 1981. All eyes were on the cleavage, of course, which 34D Diana had amply filled despite 'totall...
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Funny story: Hysterical scenes of mourning as The Great Successor is pronounced in blooming good health!

Hysterical scenes of mourning as The Great Successor is pronounced in blooming good health!

Thousands flocked the streets of North Albion yesterday when it was announced that the great leader, Kam Er-Un, was "in great health and just about to go on his annual skiing trip". Men and women fell to the ground in an outpouring of grief seldom...
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Funny story: Local Entrepreneur Offers To Help Fuel Allowance Redistribution

Local Entrepreneur Offers To Help Fuel Allowance Redistribution

Don't need your pensioner's winter fuel allowance? Want to help someone who needs it more? Well a local businessman is offering to take the hassle out of redistributing the annual government hand-out. The scheme comes after a debate in the Hous...
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Funny story: University Challenge: UCL And Manchester Keep Us Smiling

University Challenge: UCL And Manchester Keep Us Smiling

All right! We'll take up the slack while Col Juan News suffers IT trauma. Well done to both teams - this was an entertaining match, thanks mostly to both skippers deliberating with their team mates audibly. And entering into a bit of banter with inquisitor, Jeremy Paxman. Maybe the pressure was off a little, since defeat in your opening quarter-final match is the not the end of the matter...
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Funny story: Santa Banned at Social Centre in Nottingham

Santa Banned at Social Centre in Nottingham

Officials at the Okoku Bantu Social Centre in Nottingham, have banned the traditional appearance of local Senior Citizen Willie Stroker this year. The new Centre manager Abdul-Bazeer Adabayor, explained: "We think that the appearance of Santa Clau...
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Funny story: COO melamine aspartame scare smokes out secret bar code chip implants for the elite

COO melamine aspartame scare smokes out secret bar code chip implants for the elite

GENEVA, Switzerland - Hot on the heals of the country of origin (COO) secret melamine bar code revelation comes an even more shocking cover-up than last reported. "Not fair", is the plaintive cry of industry associations in response to revelatio...
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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Appears on "The View" and Still Insists That She Will Not Be Returning Any of Her Wedding Gifts Including The Thoroughbred Racehorse

Kim Kardashian Appears on "The View" and Still Insists That She Will Not Be Returning Any of Her Wedding Gifts Including The Thoroughbred Racehorse

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian recently made a guest appearance on The View and was drilled pretty good by Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg regarding her wedding gifts. Behar began the conversation by asking, "So tell me Kimmy, married anyone latel...
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Funny story: Plumbers protest "butt crack" ordinance

Plumbers protest "butt crack" ordinance

When Mason Williams was issued a $50 fine for wearing a pair of low rider pants, he got a little pissed off. Pissed off enough to work on creating a new law of his own, "The saggin' butt crack ordinance." Mason was offended that he had to pay th...
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Funny story: Politcally Correct "PC" Barbie shipment blocked at port won't be here in time for Christmas

Politcally Correct "PC" Barbie shipment blocked at port won't be here in time for Christmas

If you had plans to purchase the new biodegradable, eco-friendly, jackboot dreadlock wearing Barbie in time for Christmas, forget about it. The newest incarnation of Barbie, produced using recycled plastic in a sensible size 7 body type, was blocked...
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Funny story: Who writes this stuff?

Who writes this stuff?

All I wanted was some cheery music on the radio to ease my journey thru some sad traffic. My son told me about a radio station that was doing "all Christmas all the time", so like a sucker I tuned in. What a mistake. The song White Christmas has always made me a little sad, but this new stuff made me suicidal. Hearing a song about a child wanting a pair of shoes for his mother because she s...
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Funny story: Britney Spears Has Come A Long Way Since Her "Playpen" Flashing Days

Britney Spears Has Come A Long Way Since Her "Playpen" Flashing Days

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears recently hit the big 3-Oh. And she says that she does not feel a day over 40. The blonde singer who is perhaps best noted for being the most infamous lip syncer in the music industry celebrated with her fiancé Jason...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Il Left $1 Million North Korean Wons To Jon Gosselin

Kim Jong Il Left $1 Million North Korean Wons To Jon Gosselin

PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea's Rice Press News Agency is reporting that the late Kim Jong Il left a net worth of $4 billion. The bulk of his estate will go to his four children Kim Ah So, Kim Foo Foo, Kim Oh Saki, and Kim Yo Yo Yo. A re...
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Funny story: Michele Bachmann Strongly Suggests That Iraq Become Our 51st State

Michele Bachmann Strongly Suggests That Iraq Become Our 51st State

INDIANOLA, Iowa - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour pulled into Indianola, Iowa, home of Indianola Indian Corn Tortilla Mix. She was greeted in the parking lot of the local Captain Cluckity Cluck Cluck Chicken Shack by a crowd...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Il is seen alive in Hackney

Kim Jong Il is seen alive in Hackney

A video uploaded last night on popular video sharing website Youtube shows a clip purporting to be recently deceased North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il serving a customer at a restaurant called Kim's Korean Nights, in Hackney London. The Youtube uplo...
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Funny story: Is Kim Jong Junior weird enough for the job?

Is Kim Jong Junior weird enough for the job?

As North Korea comes to terms with the loss of its "Dear Leader", the shadowy figure of "the Great Successor", his son Kim Jong Mark II has begun to emerge. Young Kim Jong II only appeared with his father on live television for the first time las...
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Funny story: Sun: Moon May Lead North Korea

Sun: Moon May Lead North Korea

After Kim Jong Il's death, North Korea's secretive regime described his youngest son, Kim Jong Un as "the great successor." But Jong Kim Sun-a professor of Asian Studies at the University of South Korea-says the isolated Communist state "has ente...
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