Funny story: Gaddafi Sends Out Urgent SOS To Harry Redknapp

Gaddafi Sends Out Urgent SOS To Harry Redknapp

Spurs boss, Harry Redknapp was shocked this morning, to find a DVD arriving in the post, and even more shocked when he played said DVD in his Blu-Ray player. According to reports, the DVD contained an urgent appeal for help from beleaguered former...
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Funny story: QPR sign git

QPR sign git

QPR have signed Newcastle git Joey Barton. "I have always admired Joey as a git" said manager Neil Warnock. Barton will now be the highest earning git at QPR and fans are hoping the arrival of Joey will attract other big gits to the club: "We a...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Fans Call Her a Fake and Go On Global Rampage - Police Attacked in Toyko, LA Celebs Go Into Hiding, Justin Bieber Goes Missing & Rehab Centre Burnt to Ground

Amy Winehouse Fans Call Her a Fake and Go On Global Rampage - Police Attacked in Toyko, LA Celebs Go Into Hiding, Justin Bieber Goes Missing & Rehab Centre Burnt to Ground

Following the death of Amy Winehouse there was a renewed interest in her career as she joined the infamous 27 club alongside the likes of Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison. However since details emerged in a toxicology report that Winehouse on the night o...
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Funny story: 'rrests made of the bloomin' rioters and users of Cockney Matheson Lang

'rrests made of the bloomin' rioters and users of Cockney Matheson Lang

Scotland Yard reports that Bo-le of Glue thousand people 'ad been nicked - and more than Ca and Calf or 1,135 'ad been charged for riotin'. Of those charged, over 700 're guilty of speakin' Cockney Matheson Lang. Scotland Yard 'as also organized...
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Funny story: Gaddafi agrees to surrender if he can become a Kardashian

Gaddafi agrees to surrender if he can become a Kardashian

Tripoli, Libya - Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has issued his terms of surrender from his secret compound here. The former strongman and sunglass aficionado provided only one condition for giving himself up to NATO authorities. "I want to join...
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Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson lifts BBC ban on answering Sir Alex Ferguson posed questions

Sir Alex Ferguson lifts BBC ban on answering Sir Alex Ferguson posed questions

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has agreed to lift his ban on BBC conducted interviews, so long as he is only asked questions from a Sir Alex Ferguson compiled list of gentle queries. The Scotsman had refused to answer any questions po...
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Funny story: Palin, Bachmann and Perry to Appear on Celebrity Jeopardy

Palin, Bachmann and Perry to Appear on Celebrity Jeopardy

You can expect in the coming weeks to see a very special episode of Jeopardy. Sony Pictures has signed on the three presidential hopefuls for a unique episode of Jeopardy. Some of the changes expected in this episode are all winnings will go to each candidates election campaign; usually in a celebrity Jeopardy the winnings go to a charity of the contestants choice, the producers decided that i...
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Funny story: Reviled London Buses 'hothouses its passengers' as furious OAP blasts transport network

Reviled London Buses 'hothouses its passengers' as furious OAP blasts transport network

London - Retired London mortician Miss Constance Burlap - a veteran of the No 19 route from Sadler's Wells to Cheyne Walk since the year dot - has spoken of her dismay at being kicked off mid-journey following a top deck fracas last week. "I was t...
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Funny story: Neil Aspin the next manager of England?

Neil Aspin the next manager of England?

In a pre-match interview with the Shaymen's website, manager of Conference North team Halifax Town, Neil Aspin, has admitted that he would leave Halifax Town at the drop of a hat should he be offered the England job. With Fabio Capello due to step...
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Funny story: Naked rambler detention to slash Jacqui Smith porn costs

Naked rambler detention to slash Jacqui Smith porn costs

Imprisoned naked rambler, Steven Gough, is set to slash the adult entertainment costs associated with the Jacqui Smith household after being scheduled for several appearances at her home whilst on day release for his re-integration back into society,...
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Funny story: One of Our Spaceships Is Missing, Mr Putin

One of Our Spaceships Is Missing, Mr Putin

Moscow - A notorious UFO rat run inside Earth's Van Allen Beltway is the top culprit behind the disappearance of Russian Starfleet's flagship cargo carrier. This morning the entire International Space Station supply program hangs in ruins as monit...
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Funny story: Top Academic Fumes Over History GCSE Decline

Top Academic Fumes Over History GCSE Decline

Controversial academic Ken Lucid has lambasted government policy on teaching after it emerged that 159 state schools failed to enter any pupils for history GCSE this year. The Department Of Education revealed the figures on the day that pupils acr...
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Funny story: David Cameron Encourages Libyans to Loot Gadaffi's Homes and Favourite Shops

David Cameron Encourages Libyans to Loot Gadaffi's Homes and Favourite Shops

British leaflets are being dropped across Tripoli written in both Arabic and Eton English to encourage locals to loot Gadaffi's homes and the shops that are allied with his hated regime in order to add further shame and humiliate the retreating presi...
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Funny story: Professor Fred Quatermass States - "It's No Use Counting On Zombies To Fight Alien Space Vampires"

Professor Fred Quatermass States - "It's No Use Counting On Zombies To Fight Alien Space Vampires"

Professor Fred Quatermass was apparently at it again this morning, as he advised NASA, the North Aberdeen Space Association, that it would be pretty pointless expecting the dead to rise again as reanimated zombies, in order to fend off an alien invas...
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Funny story: Speed Limit to be removed from Motorway Toll Roads

Speed Limit to be removed from Motorway Toll Roads

Motorway toll roads, such as the one opened to relieve congestion around Birmingham, and to save motorists from the ignominy of having to drive through Birmingham, are to have speed limits removed from January next year. "There are several reasons...
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Funny story: Andrew Coulson Received Food Parcels from News International - He Hated Sam Cam's Cooking

Andrew Coulson Received Food Parcels from News International - He Hated Sam Cam's Cooking

Further political embarrassment has been heaped on the Prime Minister David Cameron, as it has been revealed that during Andy Coulson's whole tenure as the Head of Communications for Downing Street, he was receiving regular food parcels from News of...
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Funny story: Joan Collins Admits Her Porn Films The Stud and Bitch Led to Riots & Breakdown in British Values

Joan Collins Admits Her Porn Films The Stud and Bitch Led to Riots & Breakdown in British Values

A tearful Joan Collins has finally broken her silence since the UK riots and admitted that her soft porn films in the 1970s made when she was a struggling and naive middle aged actress, has had a big part to play in the breakdown of British good mann...
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Funny story: Sharon Stone Flashes 'Mature' Beaver on Film in NYC - Rotting Corpse Gas Kills Several Crew Members, Biggest Evacuation Since 9/11

Sharon Stone Flashes 'Mature' Beaver on Film in NYC - Rotting Corpse Gas Kills Several Crew Members, Biggest Evacuation Since 9/11

Ageless actress Sharon Stone has triggered one of the biggest on set disasters in movie history, as a one mile cordon had to be set up around a film set in New York after she recreated the infamous scene from Basic Instinct. An unexplained toxic gas...
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Funny story: Abilities to pass on from an Elderly Person

Abilities to pass on from an Elderly Person

One of our more mature contributors to the Inchcock Gazette, has sent in a list of his qualities and skill's he's amassed during his epic and boring lifetime - with an offer to assist others who do not have such qualities, of him passing them on if required. I recall in 1959, the Reverand Salmon taking me to one side, and telling me: "Whatever skills or capabilities you gain, there will always...
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Funny story: Jobs Given Blow As Apple Chief

Jobs Given Blow As Apple Chief

Apple Chief Executive Steve Jobs has been given a blow in the top position of America's most profitable company. Jobs has been given a blow before as Chief Executive of Apple between 1984-1997, when he left the company after falling out with coll...
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Funny story: Obama and the Queen Boost Irish Tourist Trade; Imposters Now Abound

Obama and the Queen Boost Irish Tourist Trade; Imposters Now Abound

The May visits to Ireland of U.S. President Barack Obama and Queen Elizabeth II created a nice boost in tourist trade. Countries all over the globe have taken note. So have clever entrepreneurs who have seized the opportunity to "rent out" the serv...
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Funny story: Demi Lovato, Prince Poppycock, and New Boyz Perform on America's Got Talent

Demi Lovato, Prince Poppycock, and New Boyz Perform on America's Got Talent

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of America's Got Talent outdid themselves as they booked three professional acts that brought the house down. Demi Lovato performed her mega-hit "Skyscraper" amid one of the most elaborate stage sets to be seen in recent...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Blames The Earthquake That Struck The East Coast on President Obama

Sarah Palin Blames The Earthquake That Struck The East Coast on President Obama

OSKALOOSA, Iowa - Sarah Palin's One Nation Bus Tour pulled into Oskaloosa, Iowa, home of the largest corn cob statue in the world. Palin's bus was parked at a local Pizza Gal Restaurant where a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight, Skippy Viperwater...
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Funny story: Sting wins Most Tender Lyrics Award

Sting wins Most Tender Lyrics Award

HAMPSTEAD, London--In what is seen as a lifetime achievement award, rock musician Sting received this week the prestigious Most Tender Lyrics Award at the U.K. Rock Music Awards. Jury members lauded Sting, known for his earlier work with the highl...
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Funny story: "Kill All Aliens On Sight If You Want To Survive The Space Alien Vampire Holocaust" - Warns Professor Fred Quatermass

"Kill All Aliens On Sight If You Want To Survive The Space Alien Vampire Holocaust" - Warns Professor Fred Quatermass

Controversial academic, Professor Fred Quatermass, has yet again sparked fury at NASA, the North Aberdeen Space Association, following his suggestion after watching John Carpenter's sci-fi movie, The Thing, on ITV 4, that all alien space vampires oug...
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Funny story: Colonel Gaddafi's Golf Buggy "A Legitimate Target" - NATO

Colonel Gaddafi's Golf Buggy "A Legitimate Target" - NATO

The golf buggy ridden by Libya's Colonel Gaddafi has been identified as being a primary target for NATO forces trying to oust the country's dictator, it has been revealed. The buggy, in which Gaddafi travelled all over Libya, North Africa and the...
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Funny story: "Aliens Will Probably Stink Like Sulphur" - Insists Discredited Academic

"Aliens Will Probably Stink Like Sulphur" - Insists Discredited Academic

Leading UK academic, Professor Fred Quatermass, published papers today in which he deduced that aliens would probably smell of sulphur. Professor Quatermass has reasoned that alien life forms probably exist on various gaseous planets around the un...
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