Funny story: World In Shock as Rooney Does Something Everybody Else Does

World In Shock as Rooney Does Something Everybody Else Does

LONDON - At a recent football match, Rooney did something that everybody else does on a daily basis. After Manchester United lost again West Ham - a town not at all famous for pig-constructed food articles - Wayne Rooney, a striker, was caught say...
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Funny story: More From "Beyond The Hindu Kush" by Sir Mortimer Featherstonehaugh

More From "Beyond The Hindu Kush" by Sir Mortimer Featherstonehaugh

The camel is often called the ship of the desert, and not without reason. Few craft are able to attain the speed of a camel in full sail, amid the harsh environs of the deserts of the Asian interior, and a camel at anchor - her shuddering flanks agleam beneath a brick-red sky - is a noble sight to rank with anything to be spied in the watercolours of J M W Turner, the famous coloured water artist...
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Funny story: Fukushima radiation found in strawberry sundae

Fukushima radiation found in strawberry sundae

Stockton, California - A family in Stockton has filed a 14.2 million dollar lawsuit against MC Dogles hamburgers of Stockton in California after a 4-year-old girl dies of radiation found in a strawberry sundae. The sundae was made of milk that ca...
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Funny story: Don Trump Suggests Black And White Stork Delivered Obama From Kenya

Don Trump Suggests Black And White Stork Delivered Obama From Kenya

In recent TV interviews, New York billionaire Don Trump revealed that he has had a change of heart regarding the birthplace of Barack Hussein Obama. Asked by Bill O'Reilly of FOX News if he has jumped in bed with the birthers, Trump responded by say...
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Funny story: SuBo fanatics demand airport name change!

SuBo fanatics demand airport name change!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today demanded that Edinburgh airport be renamed 'Susan Boyle Airport'. "We believe she's the most important Scottish person who ever lived, in the history of the world, so we demand that the ai...
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Funny story: University Challenge's Clemo to marry Katie Price

University Challenge's Clemo to marry Katie Price

Andrew 'Clemo' Clemo, the captain of the defeated York team in the University Challenge final, emerged from the BBC studios with a cheeky grin on his face and his own personal trophy. Not the impressive glass ornament that was being clutched by Ma...
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Funny story: Lepers Monthly Gazette

Lepers Monthly Gazette

Hello and welcome to this month's edition! Mr Arbudnot of Frampton would like to thank all those that searched for his nose at the gala weekend. It was found in the gents urinal tent by Mr Peasmould who handed it back with a new piece of sticky plaster. Edith Moore sends apologies if she was a bit flaky at the baking day last month in Morpeth. Kellogs corn flakes will not be served at t...
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Funny story: Charlie Sheen has expressed a burning desire to have 'an audience with the Pope'

Charlie Sheen has expressed a burning desire to have 'an audience with the Pope'

During one of his his more 'lucid' moments this week he is reported to have said, "That Pope guy, yeah I really wanna meet with him and get to know what makes him tick. Seems he could teach me a thing or two or even three. I know I act as if I know everything already but I do think, because he is much older than I am he will have a few new things to pass on to me in order to improve my 'act...
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Funny story: Daily Revolutions in the life of a Spoofer

Daily Revolutions in the life of a Spoofer

I read an interesting article by another writer today about Revolutions in history and it brought to mind a number of Daily Revolutions which I outline below: The only other revolutions I could add are the: Daily revolutions of wheels on vehicles Daily revolutions of Ferris Wheels Daily revolutions of my eyes when someone says something stupid (in my opinion). Daily revolutions of m...
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Funny story: Nobody Lives Forever - Especially those attending the Royal Wedding!

Nobody Lives Forever - Especially those attending the Royal Wedding!

Police will throw an unprecedented ring of steel around the upcoming Royal Wedding Roadshow with all guests having to go through no fewer than nine separate security checks including five internal body checks. Amid fears the April 29th farce could...
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Funny story: Cameron Moves to Libyan Rebel Side, Feels Better Apreciated There

Cameron Moves to Libyan Rebel Side, Feels Better Apreciated There

BENGHAZI & LONDON - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister, said he will move to Libya because he 'has a better rep there'. He will hand over power to Nick Clegg. "The Libyans were like 'Cameron, thank you for the aid, thanks for all the air stri...
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Funny story: Obama to Announce Re-Election, Populace Thinks He's Actually the Best Option

Obama to Announce Re-Election, Populace Thinks He's Actually the Best Option

WASHINGTON - After announcing he would run for President in 2012, the media, think tanks, and laypersons then sat down, thought, and realised he's the best hope. "Even Newt is saddened at the prospect of himself running for Pres," said the leader...
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Funny story: Drugged Up Person Wanders onto Stage at Charlie Sheen Show

Drugged Up Person Wanders onto Stage at Charlie Sheen Show

LOS ANGELES - At a sold-out show in LA, a drugged up man, dishevelled, ranting and raving, turned up on the stage before Charlie Sheen did. "I know comedy touring is the new rock band," said one punter, "but having a shitty support act isn't going...
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Funny story: Obama Loses Nobel Peace Prize!

Obama Loses Nobel Peace Prize!

After so much vigorous debate over President Obama's worthiness to even receive the Nobel Peace Prize so early in his presidential career, then his surge in Afghanistan and now finally his latest actions in Libya, many national and world figures have been calling for President Obama to return his Nobel Peace Prize now. Previous responses from President Obama made it clear he was not going to r...
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Funny story: First Marijuana Death Reported

First Marijuana Death Reported

The Coy W. Waller Laboratory Complex on the campus of the University of Mississippi has reported the first death from marijuana. The research center is the only legal marijuana farm and production facility in the United States. Mahmoud ElSohl...
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Funny story: The Lost Tribe Of Putney Common. Part 1

The Lost Tribe Of Putney Common. Part 1

Hello, my name is David Atticbutter, and I am a nosey bastard that finds lost civilisations and tells the whole world where they live, and then fucking destroys them. During one of my treks I came across evidence that there is a lost tribe living on Putney Common. Which is in fact, in Putney, south west London. That is why it is named Putney Common. This is the story of my encounter. Monday...
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Funny story: Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson slips into "Top Gear" with several blond beauties!

Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson slips into "Top Gear" with several blond beauties!

Jeremy Clarkson, cheeky chappy, feels he's being "Tiger Wooded" by several people claiming to have seen him going "full throttle" in public with several "bimbo beauties" all over the world who just love laying across his bonnet? Obviously Jeremy i...
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Funny story: Jackson statue covered in bird shit

Jackson statue covered in bird shit

London - A flock of Siberian swallows from the red-breasted sapsucker family is suspected of dumping all over the Craven Cottage statue unveiled by Mohammed Fayed on Sunday. "They're emoting football fans' disgust at the effigy," Fulham Twitcher...
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Funny story: Royal Wedding Firework Ban

Royal Wedding Firework Ban

The UK government has today announced a total ban on all fireworks in advance of the Royal Wedding, which is finally, at last, just around the corner. It is also considering pushing forward a motion to completely outlaw all firework and lighthearted...
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Funny story: Celebrity Apprentice: Meatloaf Blew A Fuse And Went 'Ballistic' When He Thought Gary Busey Had 'Stolen' His Yellow Highlighter

Celebrity Apprentice: Meatloaf Blew A Fuse And Went 'Ballistic' When He Thought Gary Busey Had 'Stolen' His Yellow Highlighter

NEW YORK CITY - The latest edition of Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice came pretty close to turning into Celebrity Brawl, when the former singer known as Meat Loaf accused the former actor known as Gary Busey of stealing his yellow highlighting ma...
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Funny story: Children's Museum Beset by Problems

Children's Museum Beset by Problems

Sofa, Iowa - folks in this river city town were delighted when a consultant suggested a children's museum as a way to draw people away from more popular Iowa tourist destinations. An editorial in the local paper even suggested that the museum cou...
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Funny story: Company Patents New Urinal Design, Reports Increased Flow of Sales

Company Patents New Urinal Design, Reports Increased Flow of Sales

The Porcelain Throne Company, announced a new commercial urinal for the bar/restaurant and hotel market last week, after winning a patent on the radical new design. Response to the new urinal named "The Kirby", has reportedly overwhelmed the factory...
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Funny story: 'Charlie Sheen: Turn Off The Dark' Opens On Broadway

'Charlie Sheen: Turn Off The Dark' Opens On Broadway

The producers of the Broadway show "Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark" have found an interesting way of 'fixing' the show before it's oft-delayed Broadway opening by combining it with Charlie Sheen's Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour. "For the first time...
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Funny story: Sperm show Intelligent Design must be right

Sperm show Intelligent Design must be right

The Intelligent Design movement have finally found convincing evidence that all life on Earth was designed by an omnipotent being: Sperm. "We now not only know that humans were designed by intelligence," said Ray Comfort, author of many significan...
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Funny story: Roger Hargreaves reveals his new Little Miss books

Roger Hargreaves reveals his new Little Miss books

Roger Hargreaves, the author of the popular children's books, the Mr Men and Little Misses, has revealed his latest suite of books in the Little Miss section. Little Miss Place is the story of a forgetful character who can never remember where she...
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Funny story: Mancini surprise at goal yield of every over paid misfit behind the ball philosophy

Mancini surprise at goal yield of every over paid misfit behind the ball philosophy

Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has admitted his teams 'surprise' five goal yield against Sunderland had given him all the encouragement to continue implementing his 'every over-paid misfit behind the ball' footballing philosophy. City fan...
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Funny story: Amazing Atlantic Discovery

Amazing Atlantic Discovery

The truth behind reported discoveries of 'aircraft parts' in the Atlantic Ocean can be revealed today in an Exclusive report from our Special Correspondent in the area , Azora Ribcage. The items found in the Ocean are not from any ordinary aircraf...
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Funny story: Iain Duncan Smith Says We Should Work Forever

Iain Duncan Smith Says We Should Work Forever

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith's incredible claim that we want to work beyond the age of 65 is merely a watered-down version of his beliefs, it can be revealed. A source claiming to be from inside the Smith circle showed EIF News &a...
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Funny story: Local Mechanic has Fukushima fix

Local Mechanic has Fukushima fix

Egg Harbor, N.J. - A Mr. Ronald Cole, of Egg Harbor, walked into our news room today and announced that he had the solution to stop the leak at Fukushima. "They'll never stop it with the diapers and bath salts they've been using. You can bet your bippy on that one," Ron laughed at me, sucking on his pipe. When I asked Ron what he would do he told me it was simple. "It's simple, chief.
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Funny story: Obama to intervene after Ouattara forces massacre civilians

Obama to intervene after Ouattara forces massacre civilians

WASHINGTON DC - In response to ill-considered reports by the UN and the Roman Catholic Church that squarely put the blame on Assassine Ouattara's IMF-backed New Army for approximately 800 civilian deaths in the town of Duekoue, President Obama has de...
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Funny story: Arkansas Man Arrested for Setting Up A Fake "Pat Down" Scam at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport In Hot Springs

Arkansas Man Arrested for Setting Up A Fake "Pat Down" Scam at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport In Hot Springs

HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas - Airport security guards apprehended an individual identified as Bucky "Buck" Fippyquack, 42, at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport in Hot Springs. One of the security guards Conway Earl Strayfoil said that he and his partner Ea...
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Funny story: US Planes Grounded After Hole Scare

US Planes Grounded After Hole Scare

Southwest Airlines have grounded 80 of their jets after problems with their in flight tannoy caused grunge rock band Hole's album " Ask For It" to be played on a continuous loop for the duration of all flights. The 1995 album is widely regarded by...
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Funny story: Donald "The Hairdo" Trump Shaking In His $1,800 Pair of Berluti Shoes As President Obama Asks About His Tax Returns

Donald "The Hairdo" Trump Shaking In His $1,800 Pair of Berluti Shoes As President Obama Asks About His Tax Returns

NEW YORK CITY - Billionaire Donald "The Hairdo" Trump has just learned what could turn out to be a very expensive lesson. According to iGossip reporter Cutter Shiloh, The New York City mogul whose reality show Celebrity Apprentice has been going d...
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Funny story: SFA Announce New Website Application

SFA Announce New Website Application

The Scottish Football Association has announced that it is making available a "panic button" application on its website. As concerns mount at the increasing number of clubs who could slip into administration, the football authorities up North are...
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Funny story: Fulham Contoversy Over Jacko Statue

Fulham Contoversy Over Jacko Statue

Fulham chairman Mohammed Al Fayed has caused a storm of protests after erecting a Michael Jackson statue outside Craven Cottage Stadium. The unorthodox multi millionaire owner of the South London club was a personal friend of the late entertainer...
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Funny story: Films That Didn't Make It

Films That Didn't Make It

Following a major hacking of film studios' I.T systems, Wikileaks have released details have of films that never made it past the planning stage. Here's some of the ones that never saw the light of day : Harry Potter and The Hollowed Out Prince Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azerbaijan Harry Potter and The Order from the Takeaway Lethal Bedpan and Lethal Bedpan 2 Pilates Of...
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Funny story: Standup Criminal Finally Gets Caught, And It's No Joke For Him

Standup Criminal Finally Gets Caught, And It's No Joke For Him

DALLAS, TX - A man was finally captured after a decade long search and a crime spree ranging in offenses from car theft to armed robbery to rape. Somewhere along the way, he also earned a nickname for his rather peculiar modus operandi. Last nigh...
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Funny story: Charlie Sheen to Play Caligula in new movie deal

Charlie Sheen to Play Caligula in new movie deal

Quick to seize on the actor's recent notoriety Hollywood moguls have selected Charlie Sheen to play the emperor Caligula (12-41AD) in an action packed blockbuster that is promised will rival Burton and Taylor's Anthony and Cleopatra of 1963. Cali...
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Funny story: Royal Wedding Singer Revealed As Morrissey

Royal Wedding Singer Revealed As Morrissey

The Royal Family announced surprising news today that cult icon and lead singer of The Smiths, Morrissey, will provide entertainment as the wedding singer for Kate and Wills big day - at the cost of re-writing The Smiths hit album, The Queen Is Dead.
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