Funny story: Midsomer Murders "Master Class" - TV Review

Midsomer Murders "Master Class" - TV Review

Iphigenia Fields writes: This latest episode in the annals of Tom Barnaby's murder investigations has to rate with the absolute best. A show that has an internationally-renowned piano teacher (James Fox) attempting to preserve his talent gene for the future through incest and two doting daughters as his shield and sword, has to be admired. We find ourselve asking, however, why Barnaby (Jo...
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Funny story: A Village Desolated: Destructive Fire At Keyport, NJ. Thirty-one Buildings Destroyed

A Village Desolated: Destructive Fire At Keyport, NJ. Thirty-one Buildings Destroyed

KEYPORT, N.J., Sept. 22. A Watchman aboard the Steamer "Keyport" was the first to cry, "Fire!", when he spotted the beginning of the devastating fire that ripped through downtown Keyport, NJ last night, destroying thirty-one building and doing damage expected to be in the tens of dollars. "We believe that the fire started by two women with a kerosene lamp, who live in a small room behind ol' Ab...
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Funny story: Midsomer Murders Fans Furious At Lack Of Stiffs!

Midsomer Murders Fans Furious At Lack Of Stiffs!

Fans of TV detective series Midsomer Murders were up in arms last night after they had to wait for more than 80 minutes into the two-hour show for their first body. Viewers accustomed to murder, mayhem and bodies all over the place in the otherwis...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Admits She Is Also Attracted To Justin Bieber

Kristen Stewart Admits She Is Also Attracted To Justin Bieber

Move over Miley Cyrus, Kristen Stewart in a new interview in this week's "The Daily Doozer", candidly admits that she has also been interested in young singing sensation, Justin Bieber. "I don't think Miley and I are the only ones", she told the T...
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Funny story: Mexican Pirates Kill My Husband. And The Easter Bunny Stole His Body. And Santa Cut Him into Pieces. And Tinkerbell Hid Him in my Freezer, to Frame Me.

Mexican Pirates Kill My Husband. And The Easter Bunny Stole His Body. And Santa Cut Him into Pieces. And Tinkerbell Hid Him in my Freezer, to Frame Me.

A woman who reported that her husband was shot in the head by Mexican pirates denied she had anything to do with his death, and a Texas sheriff said he had no doubts about her story. Tiffany Hartley said her husband, David, was shot Thursday on Fa...
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Funny story: President Obama Gets Eviction Notice from China

President Obama Gets Eviction Notice from China

At an emergency press conference today, a shocked and embarrassed US President, Barack Obama, announced that China has just delivered him an eviction notice for the entire country. "Wow", exclaimed a shocked Obama. "This is a real bummer. I me...
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Funny story: New British Driving Test

New British Driving Test

To bring the British parking test into the 21st century, new elements will be introduced into the final test, and will have to be taught alongside traditional parts, such as parallel parking, emergency stops and hill starts. In order to make space fo...
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Funny story: Brown Sugar: Gordon's New Job

Brown Sugar: Gordon's New Job

He's worked in Number 11 and Number 10. Now he's moving all the way to Number 2 at 9. Yes, former Prime Minister Gordon Brown walked out of his current position as the Stig and joined another one of the BBC's hit programmes: The Apprentice. Con...
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Funny story: Daily Mail: OK, we lied.

Daily Mail: OK, we lied.

A massive first for the Daily Mail, who recently published an article which will cause more controversy than Justin Beiber. As it turns out, we're not going to die after all. Risks of cancer are totally fake. There will be no R2D2 virus. As it tur...
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Funny story: Chelsea Handler Burps, Fills Room With 50-Scent.

Chelsea Handler Burps, Fills Room With 50-Scent.

Giving credence to the rumour that 50-Cent has f--ked every single woman in the world under 200 lbs and/or 45 years old, he's started dating 50-something Grammy host-epicfail Chelsea Handler. And Chelsea put the rumours to rest at the craft servi...
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Funny story: Princess Diana's ghost seen at Commonwealth Games as Camilla sweats buckets in heavy tights

Princess Diana's ghost seen at Commonwealth Games as Camilla sweats buckets in heavy tights

No matter how hard she tries, poor Camilla will always be relegated to the Rottweiler category. Witness her appearance with the dried-out old Royal sausage Charles at the Commonwealth Games - trotted out in heavy tights, more like compression stoc...
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Funny story: Churchill's secret shame revealed

Churchill's secret shame revealed

Recently released papers reveal that Britain came close to losing the Second World War due to a fit of pique by the then prime minister Winston Churchill. The papers show that in the spring of 1941 Churchill had received a telegram from President...
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Funny story: Local Man In Supermarket Cheap Beer Face Off

Local Man In Supermarket Cheap Beer Face Off

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome and outrageously charming 25 year old sex God (ignore that bit - it simply isn't true. He's a right boring old fart really) was today upstaged as he went to buy beer up the local supermarket in orde...
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Funny story: An Unlikely Dream

An Unlikely Dream

I had this dream about the Tory Conference. George Osborne alienated his core voters and the Daily Mail had apoplexy. Cameron apologised for the gigantic cock up and said sorry for the atrocious mathematics, but it was all because of the mess left by Labour. Boris tried to get the limelight and failed. Warring factions threatened to cause problems. LibDems complained they didn't know about the...
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Funny story: Ukranian lion tamer attacked, he forgot to feed them!

Ukranian lion tamer attacked, he forgot to feed them!

A Ukranian lion tamer has been attacked by his otherwise well-behaved and obedient big-cats. Ths incident occurred during a performance in the circus and was sent round the world via U Tube (not them they're on strike). Luckily the lion tamer,...
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Funny story: George Osborne Proposes '1.9 Children Per Family' Limit

George Osborne Proposes '1.9 Children Per Family' Limit

Conservative Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has caused outrage in a speech in which he says that, rather than scrapping Child Benefit, he is to put a proposition to the House of Commons that a 'childbirth limit' is to be set, to prevent p...
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Funny story: X-Factor hopeful is gonna win... Despite losing already

X-Factor hopeful is gonna win... Despite losing already

UK betmakers have proven how clever they really are this weekend, having taken bets already about who's going to win the X-Factor. Having seen the Final 12, betmakers across the UK have started taking bets on who's going to win. Many are backing X...
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Funny story: Say YES to naughtiness - local man complains about misleading advertisements

Say YES to naughtiness - local man complains about misleading advertisements

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome 27 year old superstud (that part's pure fiction - ed) today expressed his dissatisfaction with an advert on his favourite website, TheSpoof.com Shuttlecock bombarded site administrator Mark Lowto...
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Funny story: Charlie the smoking chimp proves that smoking is really, healthy?

Charlie the smoking chimp proves that smoking is really, healthy?

South African smoking Chimp Charlie (RIP) has proven to the world that being a chain smoking primate has no bad effects on the lungs and survived till the ripe old of 52 chimp years (roughly 250 human years, wow!). Charlie was quite an institution...
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Funny story: Alice Roberts Story - New Turn: Michael Wood's Torso Demanded by Female Fans

Alice Roberts Story - New Turn: Michael Wood's Torso Demanded by Female Fans

A group of female fans of TV historian Michael Wood have contacted us demanding to put their side in the continuing Alice Roberts dress/undress saga. Since late August, we have been following the wrangling between fan groups eager to see TV presen...
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Funny story: Alice Roberts Story Latest: Callers Seek Nude Laura Kuenssberg Photos

Alice Roberts Story Latest: Callers Seek Nude Laura Kuenssberg Photos

The endless story concerning the required state of dress for female TV presenters dragged in another new name yesterday. It emerged that the latest object of fan desire is BBC political correspondent Laura Kuenssberg when our reporter was approach...
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Funny story: Liverpool Are Shit

Liverpool Are Shit

Liverpool Football Club, the once-proud Red crusaders, who, after beating all other teams into submission on the domestic front, sallied forth into mainland Europe, conquered all pretenders to their throne and became the envy of the footballing world...
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Funny story: Hairy Moment for the Brown Theory!

Hairy Moment for the Brown Theory!

Scientists with long beards have discovered the reason that some males to grow hair on their upper lip. Fondness of the colour brown is now known to be the dominant factor in this phenomenon. Shaving historians (the people with knowledge of shavi...
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Funny story: Twin Attack on Yemen

Twin Attack on Yemen

Mary Kate and Ashley Olson. John and Edward. Romulus and Remus. And Patty and Selma from the Simpsons. Yemen was today in shock following Twin Attacks on the capital of Yemen, Sanaa. Tourists were shocked as 100,000 twins; spearheaded by the above...
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Funny story: Liverpool new owners seeking fresh "Korea" move.

Liverpool new owners seeking fresh "Korea" move.

Rejoice Liverpool fans. Your anguishes could soon be over, following the board accepting a new offer from an unknown investor. The North Korean investor, Kim Jong-Un, was rewarded with his promotion recently to have a kitty of 500 million British...
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Funny story: Local Man Pens Story Number 2,000 - Wife Insists He's An Idiot

Local Man Pens Story Number 2,000 - Wife Insists He's An Idiot

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was cock-a-hoop today as he succeeded in penning his 2,000th Spoof News story on popular satirical website TheSpoof.com. Indeed, so chuffed is Shuttlecock that he is contemplating donning his long leather coat and pork...
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Funny story: Wind Farms are not as green as you would think

Wind Farms are not as green as you would think

Opponents to Wind Farms now have one more arrow in their bow to try and block the construction of Wind Farms. New research has proven what should have been obvious. Wind Farms reduce the intensity of the wind. "When you stop and think about...
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Funny story: Britain Sick To Death of Bloody Meerkats

Britain Sick To Death of Bloody Meerkats

A new Mori survey out today has shown that Great Britain is "sick to death" of meerkats. Meerkats have risen from the relative obscurity of "small mammal" in zoos to play an increasingly large role in today's media and advertising. One large...
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Funny story: The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

As Skoob News shamelessly scrapes the bottom of the satire barrel for newsworthy items, our man in Whitehall was listening to his iPod when he heard a tune entitled 'The Revolution Will Not Be Televised' by the Godfather of rap, Gil Scott Heron. W...
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Funny story: You're all outmanoeuvered by bastards like me says Blair

You're all outmanoeuvered by bastards like me says Blair

New York - (Poodle Brothers Mess): The ex-Prime Monster said today he had 'outspent, outmanoeuvred and out-strategised' all his opponents "so Yah Boo Sux!" Speaking at the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'N' Bones annual dinner Blair praised t...
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Funny story: Boston Red Sox buy Liverpool Football Club

Boston Red Sox buy Liverpool Football Club

Former owners of Liverpool FC, Hocks and Sellit, are warning the new owners to be careful when they finally come in and complete the deal to take ownership of Liverpool FC. "When we took over Liverpool FC in 2007," said spokesman for Hocks and Sel...
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Funny story: James Cameron And Steven Spielberg Tussle Over Rights To 'Born To Spoof' Collaboration

James Cameron And Steven Spielberg Tussle Over Rights To 'Born To Spoof' Collaboration

Hollywood directorial titans James Cameron and Steven Spielberg reportedly locked horns over who should have the rights to a little heard of magazine collaboration between writers from popular satirical website TheSpoof.com. Both directors apparen...
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Funny story: Arse wiping assistance requirements increase

Arse wiping assistance requirements increase

According to a new health organisation survey, there has been an increase in people who can no longer reach their own bottoms due to their arms being too short or in some cases, the arse itself has moved further away, either way, there are increasing...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Reborn as Cigar Guy Gives Him Hogan's Secret

Tiger Woods Reborn as Cigar Guy Gives Him Hogan's Secret

Tiger Woods is back Jack! After struggling for an entire year Tiger Woods came alive in the Ryder Cup singles and made 7 birdies, a hole out eagle and several bombs in 14 holes in defeating Francesco Molinari. After the match Francesco said, "Look, I...
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Funny story: Child Benefit Cuts - Crackheads In Revolt

Child Benefit Cuts - Crackheads In Revolt

Crackheads all over the country were last night putting their heads together with a view to starting a protest movement over the proposed axing of Child Benefit by the Con-Dem government. Child Benefit payments are a vital constituent of 97% of Cr...
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Funny story: Anna Chapman singing strippergram video for Putin birthday Thursday

Anna Chapman singing strippergram video for Putin birthday Thursday

Moscow - (The Spy Who Gagged Me Mess): The flamed haired siren's video tribute is a birthday suit rendition of 'Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word'. A YouBoob! channel sneak preview sees Anna peeling off her 'Agent Provocateur' layers as she mouth...
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Funny story: Clowns Picket Alton Towers Claiming Not To Be Evil

Clowns Picket Alton Towers Claiming Not To Be Evil

There was widespread panic at Alton Towers yesterday as thousands of clowns armed with outsized shoes and plastic buttonholes that squirt water out chained themselves to railings at the Staffordshire theme park. The clowns are upset about a new Ha...
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Funny story: More X-Factor Controversy As Chloe Mafia Rumoured To Take Wild Card Slot Over Gamu

More X-Factor Controversy As Chloe Mafia Rumoured To Take Wild Card Slot Over Gamu

Controversy continues to dog Simon Cowell's X-Factor show as rumours surfaced today that a wild card slot will be awarded to alleged Wakefield prostitute Chloe Mafia, once again leaving the people's choice, Gamu Nhengu out in the cold. A friend of...
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Funny story: Sherlock and me

Sherlock and me

In every single way but one, I'm just like Sherlock Holmes. But then again I don't play the violin or peruse his weighty tomes. But I do so love a good mystery when the circumstance allow although I can not solve them, I'm just like him anyhow. NO, I haven't got a deerstalker and I've never stalked a deer. If that is why he wore that hat, the inference wasn't clear. I've never lived...
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Funny story: Benefits funded my boob job

Benefits funded my boob job

As many families face losing benefits, or at the very least seeing them reduced, one unemployed single mother has decided to treat herself. Schappelle Rooty-Fucknuckle, 34, has never worked, has five children by four different fathers and claims b...
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Funny story: Winter

Winter

Winter has had enough of itself; it wants to do something else nothing drastic or abnormal like be a businessman or an elf. It just wants to have a crack at being something new, like spring or autumn, that would be cool, and cool is one thing he can do. It's not very sure if summertime, is something that it could pull off, and anyway he would only miss the fireworks and all th...
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Funny story: Seattle Opens First Self-Help Health Clinics in US

Seattle Opens First Self-Help Health Clinics in US

SEATTLE, Washington - A group of enterprising doctors today were granted a license by the State Board of Medical Examiners in Washington State to open the first of what they hope to be many self-help walk-in clinics in America. Based on the concep...
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Funny story: Purple potatoes, husband unhappy with multi cultural food.

Purple potatoes, husband unhappy with multi cultural food.

The sale of purple potatoes is causing quite a stir the length and breadth of Christendom today as healthful housewives are purchasing the puce produce by the pan-load. The reason for the sudden interest in the beta version of this newly tried and...
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Funny story: Camilla mistaken for Diana in Commonwealth Games gaffe

Camilla mistaken for Diana in Commonwealth Games gaffe

As Prince Charles and his drop-dead gorgeous wife, Camilla, arrived at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi yesterday, the President of the Games made an embarrassing mistake. Whilst greeting the royal couple, Mr Mahatma Koat shook hands with the old m...
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Funny story: Owners of Twitter Announce Rollout of 'Adult' Twatter

Owners of Twitter Announce Rollout of 'Adult' Twatter

The new CEO of Twitter didn't take long to come up with a few new initiatives that he says will have the big guys like Google and IAC/InterActiveCorp falling over themselves to re-think whether they want to plunk down a few billion to buy the Twitter...
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Funny story: Sibelius/Leonard Bernstein - DVD review

Sibelius/Leonard Bernstein - DVD review

Symphonies - No 1, in E min; No 2 in D; No 5 in E flat; No 7 in C. Vienna Philharmonic/Leonard Bernstein. Pierre Noxious writes: Bloody hell! I just heard on the radio - just this second on Radio 4's Midweek - that the guy who wrote Amazing Grace was a vicar and a slave trader! What you can learn, eh? I like to listen to Radio 4 when I'm writing - or last night's Radcliffe & Mac...
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Funny story: Drunk Woman Enlivens Dull Ryder Cup

Drunk Woman Enlivens Dull Ryder Cup

Andi Panday has made national headlines by appearing drunk during an interview at the Ryder Cup, turning the dullest, most boring golf tournament on the planet into the second most dull and boring golf tournament on the planet. Ms Panday of Garfor...
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Funny story: John Lennon Tribute Guitar Fails To Impress Axemen

John Lennon Tribute Guitar Fails To Impress Axemen

Legendary guitar manufacturer Gibson has been slammed by guitarists for its plans to release a John Lennon "signature" model. Asked by Lennon's widow, Yoko Ono, to mark his 70th birthday, Gibson plan to release a limited number of specially-built...
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Funny story: War link to death

War link to death

An official report has shown a definite link between the deaths of tens of thousands of people in Afghanistan and Iraq and war. The Sherlock Higher Institute of Thought based in the French town of Sansmerde published their surprising conclusion on...
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Funny story: Researchers announce Artificial Intelligence breakthrough

Researchers announce Artificial Intelligence breakthrough

Scientists announced today that they have developed a computer which exceeds the capacity of the human brain. Dubbed "Halle" the computer is said to represent true Artificial Intelligence; it is self-aware, thinks, and learns. But there is a down...
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Funny story: GOP Support Dems Oppose Shipping Radioactive Waste on Great Lakes

GOP Support Dems Oppose Shipping Radioactive Waste on Great Lakes

As the liberal media beats the dead horse to death about Christine O'Donnell's witch comments, the most important issue to have ever faced mankind is going absolutely unnoticed. The issue is whether or not to allow Canada to ship radioactive waste ac...
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Funny story: US Right Wingers Take Leaf From Philippino Book Over Anthem

US Right Wingers Take Leaf From Philippino Book Over Anthem

Right-wing republicans are backing a plan that will stop soulful, rocked-up or jazzy renditions of The Star-Spangled Banner. The idea comes in the wake of a vote by lawmakers in the Philippines to fine and jail people who get their anthem wrong. T...
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Funny story: 10 Reasons Why The Philadelphia Eagles Can't Win The Super Bowl With - Or Without - Michael Vick.

10 Reasons Why The Philadelphia Eagles Can't Win The Super Bowl With - Or Without - Michael Vick.

I predicted that the Philadelphia Eagles were destined to be a mediocre team this season. "Write it on a wall," I wrote. "It can't happen any other way. Tthe 2010 Philadelphia Eagles are not built to win this year." I was kinda wrong. Let's begin at the beginning. Every fan was in shock when the Eagles signed Vick, fresh outta jail. He didn't seem to be an Eagles-type guy. But he was sign...
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Funny story: Kevin Kolb: "Thanks for the $12 million a year. I'll try to suck less. Naaah, not really."

Kevin Kolb: "Thanks for the $12 million a year. I'll try to suck less. Naaah, not really."

Philadelphia Eagles Head Coach Andy Reid, in his local talk show "Eagles and Pudding: My Two Favorite Things", called sh-tty quarterback Kevin Kolb to task for not being able to play football worth a damn, and Kevin Kolb has responded. "It's amazi...
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