Funny story: Billy Ray Cyrus Demands Custody of Miley, and The 4 Other Kids, Who Are Sh-t Earners By Comparison, in Divorce

Billy Ray Cyrus Demands Custody of Miley, and The 4 Other Kids, Who Are Sh-t Earners By Comparison, in Divorce

Miley Cyrus' parents, Billy Ray Cyrus and Backup Singer #3, have filed for divorce, after 17 years, or "15 years after the birth of our 401K plan" according to court documents. Her Real Name Ain't Miley... ... not that anyone in the universe cares...
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Funny story: Coroner's Report: Paul the Octopus Masturbated Himself to Death

Coroner's Report: Paul the Octopus Masturbated Himself to Death

The official, sordid critique on Paul the Octopus's death was confirmed Wednesday: Death by Self-Inflicted Overstimulation of his Erogenous Zone. Dr. R. Quincy, M.E.: "Yep. That's what he did. Wouldn't you if you could?" Quincy continued, "Whi...
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Funny story: Fresh Beats' Shayna Rose Now Only Young Star Never to be Arrested, Rehabbed, or Photographed Without Panties

Fresh Beats' Shayna Rose Now Only Young Star Never to be Arrested, Rehabbed, or Photographed Without Panties

26-year-old actress Shayna Rose, widely acclaimed for such memorable TV roles as 'Girl #2', 'Onlooker #5' and 'The Younger Wench' before becomming Marina on Nick, Jr.'s pandering "The Fresh Beat Band", has been named the only female actress under 30...
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Funny story: Feverish Hunt on to Replace Paul the Psychic Octopus with another Psychic Animal

Feverish Hunt on to Replace Paul the Psychic Octopus with another Psychic Animal

Folks with more to lose than just having to eat crow in the upcoming elections if their party doesn't do well-we're talking about heavy bettors who want to cash in on the Sharron Angles and Joe Millers of our time-are frantic on the news that Paul th...
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Funny story: Downton Abbey And A Very Modern Period Drama

Downton Abbey And A Very Modern Period Drama

Popular ITV period drama, Downton Abbey, has been lambasted by viewers and critics alike after complaints that some scenes were shot that simply couldn't have happened in 1912. The flagship drama has attracted upwards of 8 million viewers as fans...
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Funny story: Psychic Octo Assassinated

Psychic Octo Assassinated

News which will take the sporting community by force. Paul the Psychic Octopus was assassinated a few days ago, following rumours that England will win the World Cup Bid. Russian tourists Vladimir and Putin have been arrested in Germany, and ha...
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Funny story: Panic: Bin Laden Threatens Terror Attack On France

Panic: Bin Laden Threatens Terror Attack On France

Osama Bin Laden, bearded baddie and all round bad egg, has sensationally threatened France with terror attacks. The hairy pixie was upset at the French nations decision to ban veils, something which has become somewhat of a fashion statement for M...
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Funny story: Hillary switching handbags responsible for US losing communication with nuclear missiles

Hillary switching handbags responsible for US losing communication with nuclear missiles

WASHINGTON: Phew! It was pretty scary for a while there. For 45 minutes last weekend the US was Clueless in the Capital. Turns out the world's greatest superpower had lost communication with nearly 50 intercontinental ballistic nuclear missiles.
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Building Smaller Dracula Castle After Infamous Ancestor!

Robert Pattinson Building Smaller Dracula Castle After Infamous Ancestor!

Apparently the actor Robert Pattinson can't get over the fact that he is related to Vlad the Impaler of the 1400's who was the original "Dracula", which was his family name. "Pattinson talks about the evil monster all the time", stated Ashley Gree...
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Funny story: The Sorrento Chronicles Part One: Paul

The Sorrento Chronicles Part One: Paul

Sunday was a turning point in Sorrento. Wandering down to the restaurant overlooking the Bay of Naples, one couldn't help but feel interested in the variety of food on offer. Deciding I would try the shrimp, my initial reaction to the word CALIMARI was that of a mild pasta sauce. How wrong could a guy be. Out came a dozen shrimps on a bed of what appeared to be onion rings. Chewy onion ri...
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Funny story: Stevie Wonder Destroys Macy's Store Dummy!

Stevie Wonder Destroys Macy's Store Dummy!

Singing legend Stevie Wonder has completely destroyed a dress dummy in New York City. No police were called but the people working for Macy's say that this is the third time this has happened in the past two years. "While we appreciate Mr. Wonder...
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Funny story: Randy and Evi Quaid To Star In "The Hollywood Star Whackers Vs. The Halloween Pumpkin Punks"

Randy and Evi Quaid To Star In "The Hollywood Star Whackers Vs. The Halloween Pumpkin Punks"

HOLLYWOOD - Cripple Creek Pictures in association with TriMoon Films has just announced that filming will soon begin on the new Hollywood-Halloween suspense thriller by Italian director Staccato Monteverdi. The movie entitled The Hollywood Star Wh...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga Proves Boobs Are Real At Hospital Revolving Door

Lady Gaga Proves Boobs Are Real At Hospital Revolving Door

To anyone else it would be the worst thing in the world to happen to a lady, but to someone like Lady Gaga it became a performance. Word out (with several photos) in all the major tabloids early this morning is that the Lady was visiting someone i...
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Funny story: Rooney donates brain to medical science

Rooney donates brain to medical science

Wayne Rooney has astounded his friends, family, Sir Alex Ferguson and the scientific community. In a completely selfless act, Rooney has donated his brain for medical research. Rooney said "They gave me some forms to put me mark on, saying they co...
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Funny story: Pelosi states - It's MINE, It's MINE

Pelosi states - It's MINE, It's MINE

At an early morning breakfast meeting of the Pelosi Staff in Washington, when Aides confronted Pelosi with the results of recent polls, showing the possibility of a change in the political makeup of the House, which would mean her ouster as Speaker,...
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Funny story: Governor Moonbeam: The Ho Whisperer

Governor Moonbeam: The Ho Whisperer

Formerly affectionately known by Californians as Governor Moonbeam, Jerry Brown has finally outgrown that wacky image, but in doing so, he may have gained more notoriety by gaining a new nickname, "The Ho Whisperer." In the chronology of famous wh...
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Funny story: Reid Out - Nevada Gone

Reid Out - Nevada Gone

Senator Harry Reid announced today that if his state does not re-elect him to the Senate, he will do everything in his power to outlaw gambling in Nevada. He stated further, "If Nancy loses her Speakers position, she is going to resign from the House...
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Funny story: Manchester United's Chicharito's Football Poster Outselling Wayne Rooney's By A Ten To One Margin

Manchester United's Chicharito's Football Poster Outselling Wayne Rooney's By A Ten To One Margin

MANCHESTER, England - The 22-year-old football sensation from Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico, Javier Hernandez Balcazar is being hailed as one of the best young talents to come around in a long time. "Chicharito" or little pea, as he is called first...
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Funny story: Britain Is at the Brink of War with Italy, Thanks to Cheri Blair

Britain Is at the Brink of War with Italy, Thanks to Cheri Blair

History probably will not relate the account of how close Britain came to war with Italy. Not content with her husband's dealings with Iraq, Cheri Blair decided to stir up trouble with the Ities. In what would appear to be a case of "keeping up wi...
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Funny story: Many animal species face extinction, Spoofers are not!

Many animal species face extinction, Spoofers are not!

The world is facing a tragedy as many species of animals, reptiles and insects face extinction. There is one peculiar species that is reversing the trend and evolution has failed to put the "Sword of Damocles" over their heads, The Spoofers! In...
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Funny story: Conan O'Brien Speaks

Conan O'Brien Speaks

Hollywood -- Conan O'Brien lost his dream job at the Tonight Show, in what can only be called a major blunder by the executives at NBC, and after taking some time off to recharge, he is finally opening up to UWGB-Beek. His new show will air on TBS starting November 8, 2010. It will just be called "Conan." How are you doing? I am doing alright. I can say that I wasn't expecting all the suppo...
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Funny story: Tea Party Gets out of Hand

Tea Party Gets out of Hand

Washington-- Tea Party shows it isn't only racist, but it is in favor of a military state that enjoys squashing free speech. A Rand Paul supporter decided to show the world that the Tea Party doesn't stand for free speech. Ms. Valle was the wo...
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Funny story: Nobody Has A Clue What They're Doing - Survey Reveals

Nobody Has A Clue What They're Doing - Survey Reveals

According to recently released figures from the DFFA* nobody in the UK has the slightest idea what they're doing, much less why they're doing whatever it is that they're doing. One field study revealed that a man in a supermarket, hovering by the...
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Funny story: Newt Gingrich in Wisconsin to Stump for Big Idiot

Newt Gingrich in Wisconsin to Stump for Big Idiot

Waukesha, WI -- Newt Gingrich was in Wisconsin to help work on his image in Wisconsin and stump for the Big Idiot that wants to be governor of Wisconsin. "The Big Idiot wants to cut taxes for the rich and balance the budget by cutting things you...
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Funny story: NFL Rakes in Money While Sitting on Favre Issue

NFL Rakes in Money While Sitting on Favre Issue

New York - Roger Goodell, who was busy counting his money, said that he was happy he sat on the Favre issue until after the Vikings played the Packers because of how much money the NFL made off the game. "Oh, did I call it or what--Favre is money...
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Funny story: 'Fake Shaikh' poses as Emir of Qatar, spoofs Windsor Castle state banquet!

'Fake Shaikh' poses as Emir of Qatar, spoofs Windsor Castle state banquet!

Windsor - (Order of the Gutter): Six months ago he spoofed Fergie into demanding a half a million quid bung for an intro to her feckless ex-husband Prince Andrew. Last night the notorious 'fake shaikh' was at it again, this time impersonating Qata...
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Funny story: Pentagon Blames Cablevision for Nuclear Weapons Guidance Glitch

Pentagon Blames Cablevision for Nuclear Weapons Guidance Glitch

The Pentagon says that pay-TV retards Cablevision are responsible for the 'glitch' which disrupted communication between 50 nuclear missiles and a launch control center over the weekend, although the Air Force never lost the ability to blow up the en...
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Funny story: Manchester United Former Star Nobby Stiles Auctions World Cup And European Cup-Winning Underpants

Manchester United Former Star Nobby Stiles Auctions World Cup And European Cup-Winning Underpants

Nobby Stiles, the former Manchester United star who played in the 1966 England World Cup-winning side, and who also featured in the United team that won the 1968 European Cup Final, has sold the underpants he wore in both matches at auction. The s...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Audrina Patridge Is Sent Packing Back To 'The Hills'

Dancing With The Stars: Audrina Patridge Is Sent Packing Back To 'The Hills'

HOLLYWOOD - In a Dancing With The Stars 'Results Show' that stunned many seasoned viewers, the lovely, and extremely sensuous star of the reality show The Hills Audrina Patridge was eliminated. Patridge and her partner Tony Dovolani found themselv...
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Funny story: Sacha Baron-Cohen Slams Gay Man's Butt. By That, I Mean He Beat Some Gay Guy Off. Wait...UP! Up... He Beat Some Gay Guy Up.

Sacha Baron-Cohen Slams Gay Man's Butt. By That, I Mean He Beat Some Gay Guy Off. Wait...UP! Up... He Beat Some Gay Guy Up.

Sacha Baron Cohen, the most famous in-the-closet Jew since Anne Frank, is accused of beating off a gay cameraman (are there any non-gay cameramen?) at a gay marriage-slash-AIDS Rally in Los Angeles. The cameraman, who claims to cover "felchings an...
View 'Sacha Baron-Cohen Slams Gay Man's Butt. By That, I Mean He Beat Some Gay Guy Off. Wait...UP! Up... He Beat Some Gay Guy Up.'
Funny story: Charlie "The Bad Bad Boy" Sheen Has A Manhattan Meltdown!

Charlie "The Bad Bad Boy" Sheen Has A Manhattan Meltdown!

MANHATTAN - Charlie Sheen, who is the highest paid actor on television, making $1.25 million per week seems to have an extremely hard time separating his TV Charlie Harper character on the sit-com Two and A Half Men from the real Charlie Sheen. On...
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Funny story: Christians, Muslims and Jews unite against Sci-Fi based religions

Christians, Muslims and Jews unite against Sci-Fi based religions

All manner of space opera based argy-bargey has broken out this week in the mostly 18-30 white, overweight, spotty male demographic. Followers of the two versions of Battlestar Galactica are at each others wattles over which Battlestar is best, an...
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Funny story: H&R Block Refuses to Pay Struggling Artist for Fountain.

H&R Block Refuses to Pay Struggling Artist for Fountain.

Some might say it's a case of David versus Goliath as a small business tangles with a big corporation.Just what Kansas City needed... Another f--king fountain. Is this a True story? Of course not. It's satire! In this case, however, Goliath...
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Funny story: Single women in their 30s to be sent back to Venus

Single women in their 30s to be sent back to Venus

The Government has announced plans to send all single women between the ages of 30 and 40 back to the planet Venus in an effort to restore peace and harmony in society. The move comes about after extensive research by the Office of Unprovoked Moan...
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Funny story: Derek Acorah becomes a Jedi

Derek Acorah becomes a Jedi

The most egalitarian psychic medium on the planet, Derek Acorah, has adopted the Jedi faith as his own in a public knighting ceremony on Tuesday. The medium, who has been seeing dead people since he was eight, and was the inspiration for the film...
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Funny story: Schwarzenegger Contemplates Run for Prez in 2012; Offers Up Birth Certificate from Berlin, NH as Proof of Citizenship!

Schwarzenegger Contemplates Run for Prez in 2012; Offers Up Birth Certificate from Berlin, NH as Proof of Citizenship!

Arnold's not saying much, but actions on his behalf by a grass roots party calling themselves "The Sour Krauts" quietly filed a xeroxed copy of his Berlin, NH birth certificate with the Republican National Committee today. Schwarzenegger, who wa...
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Funny story: FDA Approves Cable-ready Retinal Implants for Toddlers

FDA Approves Cable-ready Retinal Implants for Toddlers

Rather than turning the TV off and actually interacting with their preschool children, more and more parents turn to sweet, nurturing television to fill the little tykes' time. Now, the FDA has approved an implant that would wirelessly send tv ima...
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Funny story: Stuxnet claims Scilly Isles factory fishing ship blaze

Stuxnet claims Scilly Isles factory fishing ship blaze

Atlantic Ocean - (Malware): The high tech virus is suspected of being behind a chaotic digital chip pan fire started aboard a Norwegian-registered fishing smack called the MV Athena. Coastguards were called out late last night as the blaze spread...
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Funny story: Tea Party Head Stomper Hailed As Hero!

Tea Party Head Stomper Hailed As Hero!

Tim Profit, the Rand Paul supporter that stomped on the head of a prone female member of Move-On. org is being hailed as a hero by the right wing media. "He's our kind of guy," said Bill O'Reilly of Fox News. "A real American patriot and a symbol of...
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Funny story: Jujube Church seeks part-time website manager with "some" experience

Jujube Church seeks part-time website manager with "some" experience

In a promotional effort, The Church of Jujubeism has launched an informational website for throngs of potentially interested men, women and children. Unfortunately any attempt to go to their website results in a 'blank screen of death' and the f...
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Funny story: Dubai Interests Buy Up NH Ski Resorts For Mineral Rights: Drilling Imminent!

Dubai Interests Buy Up NH Ski Resorts For Mineral Rights: Drilling Imminent!

Saying only "Our Oil Can't last forever," an oil cartel based in Dubai announced today it had bought up it's second iconic ski resort in the White Mountains of New Hampshire and announced plans to start drilling for oil and natural gas immediately.
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Funny story: Paul The Octopus - Suspicions surround death

Paul The Octopus - Suspicions surround death

Suspicion surrounds the death of Paul the Octopus. Although Paul had exceeded the natural life span for an octopus (around two years) a well placed management contact at the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen where Paul lived has leaked details of an int...
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Funny story: Cor! Eee! Ah! Formula 1 - Korean GP

Cor! Eee! Ah! Formula 1 - Korean GP

Last weekends Korean F1 Grand Prix was reminiscent of a Tudor feast for F1 fans. Let me ask you, what didn't that grand prix have ? We had rain, delayed start, start under the safety car, spinners, smashes, fast laps, overtakes (thank you Mr Sutil),...
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Funny story: Defence Cuts: Defending The Indefensible

Defence Cuts: Defending The Indefensible

A naval authority has sprung to the defence of the Goverment cuts in military spending. We reported last week that maritime affairs expert Rear Admiral Morton Vulgar-Fraction, RN (Retd) was horrified at the cuts which would see no jet aircraft tak...
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Funny story: Crazy Cats: Move Over Paul, There's An Octopussy In Town

Crazy Cats: Move Over Paul, There's An Octopussy In Town

News has already circulated about the death of Paul The Octopus, nobody could have predicted the widespread grief felt accross the globe, for an octopus. Truly the Peoples Octopus, Paul meant so much to so many. Often to be seen doing charity wor...
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Funny story: Man Utd go "Mexicano loco" Ole!

Man Utd go "Mexicano loco" Ole!

Manchester United, their fans, players and staff have all been bitten by the Mexican Madness disease thanks to Chicarito, better know as Javier Hernandez. The Rooneygate affair is long forgotten and instead of selling mushy peas with stodgy meat p...
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Funny story: Paul the Octopus murdered

Paul the Octopus murdered

Paul the amazing octopus, famous for his fearless predictions at the recent FIFA World Cup, has been murdered by a gang of Dutch herring intent on exacting revenge for the mighty mollusc's prediction that the Netherlands football team would go down t...
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Funny story: Hobbit Movies: Kiwis Celebrate

Hobbit Movies: Kiwis Celebrate

New Zealand was celebrating today following the news that two Hobbit movies will be made there after all. There were fears that Warner Brothers would take filming elsewhere after spats with acting unions. But all issues have been cleared up and...
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Funny story: Coleen Rooney's Bosom - Where Did They Come From?

Coleen Rooney's Bosom - Where Did They Come From?

While they've been sunning themselves in Dubai, Wayne and Coleen Rooney have obviously been under scrutiny. The couple are trying to patch up their marriage and Wayne needs to get his head together after last week's bizarre series of events in whi...
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Funny story: Paul was MURDERED, claims Keeper!

Paul was MURDERED, claims Keeper!

Paul, the predicting oracle of World cup football fame has died, everyone knows, of old age. Not true. "He didn't die in his sleep as the zoo officials have been claiming," says his keeper in charge, "he was murdered, by the agents of the hitherto...
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Funny story: CSI:Miami - Back To Basics Pleases Bosses

CSI:Miami - Back To Basics Pleases Bosses

Channel 5 bosses breathed a sigh of relief last night when CSI:Miami got back to basics. As we reported yesterday, there were concerns that the US "procedural" was losing sight of what made it popular in the first place and that it was dabbling wi...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin has Another Say it Ain't So Joe Moment

Sarah Palin has Another Say it Ain't So Joe Moment

Many will remember in the 2008 elections when Sarah Palin and Joe Biden were just getting ready to debate and Palin asked Biden, "mind if I call you Joe?" The reason was later evident because Palin was eager to use her now famous line "Say it ain't s...
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Funny story: Nooks Await Arrival of New Family Member, the Nook Color

Nooks Await Arrival of New Family Member, the Nook Color

Yep, the name says it all. The new Barnes & Noble Nook Color is an electronic reader that will present books in COLOR. Present Nooks can hardly wait to greet the new addition to their family. At a NY press conference, the stats on the ex...
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Funny story: Meg Whitman Found Huddled in Pantry Crying "Where's My Money?"

Meg Whitman Found Huddled in Pantry Crying "Where's My Money?"

Meg Whitman, the former CEO of eBay has spent upwards of $160 million of her own money in a run for California Governor, which easily tops the private spending of any candidate anywhere in the entire universe, or at least the part of the universe we...
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Funny story: 3 Years Late and Overbudget 'El Avestruz es el ave más grande que ha logrado sobrevivir hasta nuestros días' Nears Completion

3 Years Late and Overbudget 'El Avestruz es el ave más grande que ha logrado sobrevivir hasta nuestros días' Nears Completion

(Somewhere in Siberia) - While production continues on the movie that is being called the "Ishtar" of it's day, speculation is already abuzz regarding a sequel. Despite a grueling shooting schedule, Montezuma's revenge and multiple food poisonings...
View '3 Years Late and Overbudget 'El Avestruz es el ave más grande que ha logrado sobrevivir hasta nuestros días' Nears Completion'
Funny story: Americans are angry at Wal-Kart

Americans are angry at Wal-Kart

American workers explore the relationship between U.S. job losses and Wal-Kart's monopoly over the retail business in America. Wal-Kart began as a small retail operation in Vancouver, Canada. An over excess of wealth in Wal-Kart has degraded the...
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Funny story: College is not a dead end deal anymore

College is not a dead end deal anymore

Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona signed a bill that would require all colleges in Arizona to allow students to test out of classes if they need to repeat a class. The state of Arizona is estimating a savings of 20 million dollars when students don't ha...
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Funny story: Windapocalypses and Chiclones and NDizzards, Oh My

Windapocalypses and Chiclones and NDizzards, Oh My

Meteorologists, or Weather Forecasters, as they like to refer to themselves as, have always found it hard to keep their audiences happy. If they say it is going to be sunny and it rains, the first people to be blamed are the forecasters. Forecast some really bad weather and get people preparing for the worst only to realize that they had it all wrong is a forecaster's worst nightmare. The ugly vie...
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Funny story: Republicans support NRA and a right to live

Republicans support NRA and a right to live

The National Rifle Association is spearheading a class action lawsuit against Gov. Richard Daley and the State of Arizona on behalf of over 30 thousand family members of homicide victims who were not allowed to possess firearms in public. McDonal...
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Funny story: Excerpt from Book of Yoda

Excerpt from Book of Yoda

Excerpt 1, from the Chapter for Children Crystallize your meth with me... Occult Numerology (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 ...) Occult Symbology (a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, ...) Let man of god (1a), who is just beginning, become a snake (2b) and jump over eternity (3c) at the speed of light (c) through the man in the hood, a backwards snake (4d). Thus, rising him...
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Funny story: The Spoof Fans Rate ThinkPoint Virus 4.7 out of 5 Stars

The Spoof Fans Rate ThinkPoint Virus 4.7 out of 5 Stars

TheSpoof fans turned their attention briefly away from Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert to become immersed in the most hilarious new computer virus ever. "ThinkPoint is an absolutely five-star hilarious computer virus!", said one user still rolling on t...
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Funny story: Suspicious STUD Fire Reported in Los Angeles

Suspicious STUD Fire Reported in Los Angeles

Los Angeles CA: A five alarm fire destroyed the Sex Toy Uncanny Devices (STUD) manufacturing facilities located in an industrial park close to the city's downtown area. STUD manufactures a quality line of lifelike adult sex toys which include rubberi...
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